pteromom Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 How do you know when you are passionate about something? It's what you want to spend your time doing. What you'd do if someone handed you a million bucks and you didn't have to work. What you daydream about doing. What you get "tingly" thinking about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 My man is a self-proclaimed geek/nerd and I love him to bits! We are very different in may ways but our core values like the more important aspects of life and love and relationships are rock solid which is why it works. He has an English degree and a Masters in Accounting so it doesn't get much nerdier than that. He's lover of books and essays, most of which I've never even heard of before. He is a HUGE movie and television geek and loves sci-fi and very obscure indie films so much that has memberships on several forums where he gets to chat it with like-minded media nerds. He's highly intelligent and introspective. He's an introvert which comes with it's own challenges but also has it's advantages. He has a wicked sense of humor and quick wit which keeps me on my toes and in stitches all the time. He is a great conversationalist which means he stays engaged when we talk which goes a long way. And so much more. And the best part about him is he OWNS it. That is very attractive. He makes no apologies for the way he is but at the same time he is open to learning and liking the things that interest ME too. THAT makes a difference as well. It works for us because we make it work. Finding the right person means you won't have to change anything about yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Potz4prez Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I'd like to point out that this thread is much more enjoyable than the last few. Lots of good input. Moving in the right direction, SD They don't have a "thumbs up"... the bunny will do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Yay! A positive thread for once! I know you're not a fan of mine but I'm responding anyway. Women like all sorts of guys. I myself actually prefer nerds. I have a date with a big ol' nerd tonight actually (). What about meeting women on your game? I've read a ton of threads about people who have met through online gaming. That's an interest. I don't necessarily think it has to be something you're crazy passionate about, but it should be something you enjoy. Or what about a cooking class? What about going to a restaurant and eating alone? I recently met a guy while sitting alone at a sushi bar. What about silly stuff like bar trivia (I also recently met another guy doing that)? It can be something goofy or fun. Have you tried Meetup.com? You can find stuff locally that you're interested in and sign up. I haven't met any guys doing it but I've made some friends in my hiking group. Fly your nerd flag proudly sir. There are all different types of women out there who like all different types of men. I'm glad to see you writing something proactive and positive. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 You need to have confidence....And all that comes with having a good career, age appropriate hobbies and interests and just plain "being a man"... I have a horrible personality:laugh: (really I am a solid guy, and a very giving and caring person, but most people never see that side of me)....Point is, you dont need to be the life of the party or anything... I hate to simplify it, but I am really trying to see that you overcome this..I think your approach about wanting much younger women is WAYYYY off...It will come across as awkward and they will eventually flake on you.. Try being the man you should be... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I'd love to, but I'm broke Well that's the problem with your and pteromom's suggestion. The things that are interesting to me, aren't interesting to women. Very few women care about, computers, video games and Japanese anime. Even less women care about how to pick up women. I realize that I need to be authentic about my interests, but that doesn't mean I can't learn a new thing. I'm basically asking what I can do from a blank slate to be more interesting an attractive to women. Bolded part is just plain inaccurate. LOTS of women are in to these things. You've never attended an Anime Expo before? I have. Women everywhere. You should go this year, it's coming up and not far from you. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 A wide variety of hobbies is always interesting to me. And that doesn't have to mean extreme things like bungee jumping and parasailing. Just having a diverse and varied list of activities you enjoy. You've already got dancing and video games, you can add more stuff. Even if it's random as hell. I know you were interested in learning some culinary skills, like Japanese cuisine. That would be super awesome! Not only is it adding more points to your "interesting" scale, it's giving you more opportunities to have things to have in common with others. Take for example a person who does nothing. They go to school, go to work, come home. They don't do anything but watch TV in their spare time. That's not very interesting, and it doesn't give them much to have in common with other folks. Alternately, someone who dances, plays video games, cooks Japanese cuisine, fences, rides camels, learns different languages, WHATEVER in their spare time, well, that's all gonna be pretty interesting, and it gives you more chances to have something in common with another person. Say you learn to fence, and one day you meet a girl who fences. BOOM automatic something in common to give you a quick leg up on a connection. You've already done that with dancing, so now you can find other things that interest you, whatever they may be, to give you more opportunities 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 SD - I know SO many women who are into computers, anime, and video games. My best friend is a beautiful half japanese girl who is a major gamer and attends anime cons several times a year. She's a cosplayer. She's just one example of the females I know who enjoy the very same things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Try new things often. Make a point to try something new once a week, or once a month if that's all you can. I've found that when meeting new people, it's helpful to know about restaurants and bars around town, and make recommendations. They in turn make recommendations to you. Makes for easy conversation. Know your neighborhood or town so you can talk about it. Try new restaurants. Try bars. If you don't like them, don't go back. The point is to try new things so you know what you like. I've also found that the more I do something, the more I learn to love it. Playing an instrument is like that. It took me a few years of not trying very hard, but now I'm hooked on what I play. Play more guitar, bike more. Just get out more and make adventures for yourself. I went for a two hour walk yesterday, and weird crap happened and now I have a couple funny stories to tell my friends. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 SD - I know SO many women who are into computers, anime, and video games. My best friend is a beautiful half japanese girl who is a major gamer and attends anime cons several times a year. She's a cosplayer. She's just one example of the females I know who enjoy the very same things. I could be wrong here, but are these appropriate hobbies for a 32 year old man?? I wouldnt think so, but ???.....*shrug* TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Look around in different places to see if there are free lessons for things. Even random things. My boyfriend and I were in Bass Pro shops a while back and they were advertising free lessons for fly-tying for fly-fishing, and free lessons for lobster fishing off of kayaks. HOW random are those things? And yet, we figured "hey, let's go sometime. It'll be fun, we will learn something interesting, and it's free" Something like learning how to tie your own flies seems really out there and pointless, but what if it were to lead to me finding out I REALLY enjoy fly-fishing? Or what if I find out I REALLY like kayaking or eating lobster? Maybe now I must learn how to cook lobster! Even just one small opportunity, can lead to something much larger. Doors are always opening. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I could be wrong here, but are these appropriate hobbies for a 32 year old man?? I wouldnt think so, but ???.....*shrug* TFY I personally don't think his age is relevant to what hobbies he can and can't enjoy. I am a 25 year old woman and my best friend is a 27 year old woman and we both share those same hobbies. It's simple harmless fun, and I don't care HOW people have their fun as long as it's harmless. No matter how "inappropriate" or "silly" others may find it. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Look around in different places to see if there are free lessons for things. Even random things. My boyfriend and I were in Bass Pro shops a while back and they were advertising free lessons for fly-tying for fly-fishing, and free lessons for lobster fishing off of kayaks. HOW random are those things? And yet, we figured "hey, let's go sometime. It'll be fun, we will learn something interesting, and it's free" Something like learning how to tie your own flies seems really out there and pointless, but what if it were to lead to me finding out I REALLY enjoy fly-fishing? Or what if I find out I REALLY like kayaking or eating lobster? Maybe now I must learn how to cook lobster! Even just one small opportunity, can lead to something much larger. Doors are always opening. You can never go wrong with fishin'....Everyone loves to fish! TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I could be wrong here, but are these appropriate hobbies for a 32 year old man?? I wouldnt think so, but ???.....*shrug* TFY Yes, it's totally fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I could be wrong here, but are these appropriate hobbies for a 32 year old man?? I wouldnt think so, but ???.....*shrug* TFY I believe one of the things you posted was just plain being a man. Being a man means not giving a blank what other people think of your hobbies, right? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 You can never go wrong with fishin'....Everyone loves to fish! TFY Right? I love normal everyday fishing, but have never tried fly-fishing and never even knew where to start. Then BAM, there's some free lessons to tie your own flies. Perfect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I personally don't think his age is relevant to what hobbies he can and can't enjoy. I am a 25 year old woman and my best friend is a 27 year old woman and we both share those same hobbies. It's simple harmless fun, and I don't care HOW people have their fun as long as it's harmless. No matter how "inappropriate" or "silly" others may find it. I hear you....But I guess my point is that if you are looking to appeal to a wider variety of women, then maybe its best to do what they are going find more appropriate for the particular age of the guy, no? Not saying dont do what you like to do so that you can attract a gf, but find things that you might find an interest in AND appeal to a wider group of women in your age bracket.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Try new things often. Make a point to try something new once a week, or once a month if that's all you can. This is a great suggestion. What will you try this week? Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I believe one of the things you posted was just plain being a man. Being a man means not giving a blank what other people think of your hobbies, right? To a point, I suppose... But if I liked show tunes and wore yoga pants when I went out, then I really cant complain that I am not getting any action from the ladies.. Sometimes you need to take stock of yourself and make changes if things arent working...Shedding an old skin and being a "new", more appealing person....Thats also being a man I suppose..no?... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Video games, anime, etc are SO big in the convention circuit! Have you ever been to one?? Keenly suggested cosplaying. That could be an idea as well. I go to sci fi conventions all the time. I guess I would have to say it's my main hobby these days. I have made soooo many friends who share my interests it's unreal! I have never dated anyone in the con scene, mostly because I usually go to small cons, where everyone knows everyone and it gets very incestuous and very dramatic, if things go bad. But lots of my friends met their other halves there. Many are married and with babies. A couple of friends of mine got engaged last year at Dragon Con, in Atlanta. He even got Dean Cain (Superman in the Lois and Clark tv show) to call her out of the crowd (it was a DC character photoshoot he was MCing) and handed the ring to my friend! They got married a couple of weeks ago! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I hear you....But I guess my point is that if you are looking to appeal to a wider variety of women, then maybe its best to do what they are going find more appropriate for the particular age of the guy, no? Not saying dont do what you like to do so that you can attract a gf, but find things that you might find an interest in AND appeal to a wider group of women in your age bracket.. TFY ALOT of women in his age bracket will have no problems with those interests and will also share them. Maybe it's due to being in a very large city with a wider pool of people, but I've seen many men and women attend Anime Expo's, Renaissance Fairs, Video Game conventions who were over 30. MANY. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I hear you....But I guess my point is that if you are looking to appeal to a wider variety of women, then maybe its best to do what they are going find more appropriate for the particular age of the guy, no? Not saying dont do what you like to do so that you can attract a gf, but find things that you might find an interest in AND appeal to a wider group of women in your age bracket.. TFY But maybe he shouldn't be trying to appeal to a "wider variety" of women. But to the ones who share the same kind of interests... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 But maybe he shouldn't be trying to appeal to a "wider variety" of women. But to the ones who share the same kind of interests... Sure, but if that was the case, he wouldnt have made the thread, no? Obvously, what he is doing now just isnt working.. Is there anything wrong with taking stock of yourself and tweaking things to try and make some difference? TFY Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 ALOT of women in his age bracket will have no problems with those interests and will also share them. Maybe it's due to being in a very large city with a wider pool of people, but I've seen many men and women attend Anime Expo's, Renaissance Fairs, Video Game conventions who were over 30. MANY. Ok... I could be wrong...And if I am I will stand corrected... Maybe its a regional thing, too...I just dont hear that much about people being into that stuff when they are in their 30's... I cant speak for everyone, but I was a totally different person at 32 than I was at 22... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 SD - I know SO many women who are into computers, anime, and video games. My best friend is a beautiful half japanese girl who is a major gamer and attends anime cons several times a year. She's a cosplayer. She's just one example of the females I know who enjoy the very same things. Is she single? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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