How does a guy become interesting enough to women to get dates?

[somedude81]

Why aren't you cosplaying.....

 

If you make a sweet or trendy enough costume you'll have nerdy girls flocking to you at the conventions.

 

 

seriously... try that. You might even have some fun with it too.

 

 

Just make sure she's wearing the ears when you do it. That's hot.

 

I actually thought about cosplaying, but I have no idea how to get into it. I literally have zero craft and sewing skills, or whatever is needed.

 

Honestly it sounds like an awesome project to do with a girlfriend, and we'd end up with matching costumes. That would be so cool.

[Potz4prez]

Is she single?

 

Bazingaaaa

[SJC2008]

The first thing would be to stop making threads like this. By doing this you're telling yourself you're not good enough, and that's no true. There are tons of relationship dynamics and there are boaring peope to comedians that have bf's/gf's. The main thing that you (we) need to work on is that due to our women "issues" it's a zero sum game with us. They have to like us or we lose. I'm to a point where if I'm not attracted to a woman or don't like her I don't care if she likes me or not, for the most part anyway. Secondly you need to drill it in your head that women aren't these powerful creatures that you think they are. I see them like this becasue I was raised by a very controlling mother and conrolling people have a veil of perfection that you can never reach. So deep on the inside I beleive that I'm not good enough for any woman becaue I wasn't good enough for my mother. Now, Logically I know that's BS but I need to change that on an unconscious level. Lastly, women are very insecure, I don't care if she just won Mrs. Universe, they're all insecure. There's so much competition for women to be attractive as they're judged by their beauty, no matter how hot they are they see someone hotter. Of course this doesn't mean that all women will like you becuae they're insecure it's just to put in perspective that you probably have more self esteem than most women as it stands!

[SJC2008]

Sure, but if that was the case, he wouldnt have made the thread, no? Obvously, what he is doing now just isnt working..

 

Is there anything wrong with taking stock of yourself and tweaking things to try and make some difference?

 

TFY

 

No but the longer you do it the more it wears you down. You can only look at yourself so much. Besides, plenty of people who have R's are very damaged and dysfuntional, doesn't mean their "normal" and we're not.

[somedude81]

I so disagree with this. I know so many young twentysomething girls into all these things.

Honestly, so did I.

 

I took a Japanese class for three semesters, was a member of the anime and Japanese culture clubs on campus.

 

Though for whatever reason none of the girls wanted to date me.

 

So it's not really enough to know of the girls if they aren't interested and available.

 

Honestly, it's actually more of a bummer knowing that they exist but are already taken.

 

But it depends on the woman. Some women like guys with an edge. Some like smart nerdy guys. Some like worldly suave guys.

 

This is why personality and interests are so important. Because if you are a nerdy white guy, you aren't going to attract the girls who are into Latin lover type guys. You have to be the best of who YOU are.

So there are women who interested in a wide variety of types.

 

But I get confused if I should try to focus on a certain type of women or trying to appeal to as broad a spectrum as possible.

 

Music is pretty universal. Picking up guitar or piano or singing and being willing to share that part of yourself with other people is usually attractive. But it is the passion that is attractive - just so happens music can be a public passion.

I have a guitar, that I bought for the purpose of trying to learn but life happened and I haven't touched it in several months.

 

I may pick it up and try again soon.

[organizedchaos]

I actually thought about cosplaying, but I have no idea how to get into it. I literally have zero craft and sewing skills, or whatever is needed.

 

Honestly it sounds like an awesome project to do with a girlfriend, and we'd end up with matching costumes. That would be so cool.

 

Come on SD, we don't have to do everything for you, do we?

 

Here

[rester]

I actually thought about cosplaying, but I have no idea how to get into it. I literally have zero craft and sewing skills, or whatever is needed.

 

Honestly it sounds like an awesome project to do with a girlfriend, and we'd end up with matching costumes. That would be so cool.

 

I knew a couple guys that knew how to sew and alter clothes. Women loved that. They were also in a band, which I'm guessing got their feet in the door.

 

If it interests you, give it a shot. Take a class if you need to.

[somedude81]

Get involved in something in the community. Volunteer in some project you care about. As a bonus, you'll meet like minded people, and it's the ideal situation to make connection.

 

You have enough solitary interests. You should develop some social interests.

 

Have you thought about teaching a dance class?

 

Hmm, social interests. Any suggestions?

 

No there aren't any issues I care about enough to get invoved in.

[Phoe]

Is she single?

 

Nah, she's engaged, will be married this year.

 

 

My boyfriend's best friend wants me to hook him up with her. He seems unable to comprehend the "She is engaged!!" concept. But, she also has a history of cheating on her fiancé. She's a very wanted woman, and sadly she gives in to the men that go after her.

 

 

I don't like watching it, but I certainly cannot change her.

[somedude81]

It's what you want to spend your time doing. What you'd do if someone handed you a million bucks and you didn't have to work. What you daydream about doing. What you get "tingly" thinking about.

 

Ha ha!

 

Only one thing comes to mind with that description.

 

[somedude81]

Nah, she's engaged, will be married this year.

 

 

My boyfriend's best friend wants me to hook him up with her. He seems unable to comprehend the "She is engaged!!" concept. But, she also has a history of cheating on her fiancé. She's a very wanted woman, and sadly she gives in to the men that go after her.

 

 

I don't like watching it, but I certainly cannot change her.

 

Bah, another woman who seems really desirable that is taken. There's too many of them as it is.

 

Though I can do without the whole cheating thing.

[somedude81]

Bolded part is just plain inaccurate. LOTS of women are in to these things. You've never attended an Anime Expo before? I have. Women everywhere. You should go this year, it's coming up and not far from you.

 

I've actually been to a few anime expos.

 

Any tips on how I can meet somebody to date? Those events are huge with lots of people wandering around.

Edited May 28, 2014 by somedude81

[organizedchaos]

I've actually been to a few anime expos.

 

Any tips on how I can meet somebody to date? Those events are huge with lots of people wandering around.

 

Go with people. If you go alone, yeah, it will be hard. Find out if there are any Meetups going. The official site has a forum section. Join it. Tell people you're interested in meeting up. Find out if there are any get togethers outside of the Expo.

 

If all else fails, I'll go with you and be your wingman

[ASG]

I've actually been to a few anime expos.

 

Any tips on how I can meet somebody to date? Those events are huge with lots of people wandering around.

 

OMG!

 

Just... act like a human being who isn't creeping on unsuspecting girls!

 

How hard is it to just engage in conversation??? Talk to people. Guys AND girls. Make friends. Maybe you'll hit it off with someone.

 

You asked how to make yourself more interesting. Doing what you love (and going to an anime con could be considered that) is what you have to do. Then you'll meet people and maybe you'll find a girlfriend.

 

But if you go perving on the cosplayers, I can tell you right now it will end badly for you!

[Imported]

Both of those posts are extremely vague.

 

One guy on this forum who claims to date a lot of women, says that he became more interesting by traveling the world. That's something I can recognize that would make a guy more interesting and attractive to a woman.

 

 

I don't know if you're talking about me, but for me, what I notice when I travel is people act differently away from home. Women on the road are a whole lot easier. Myself on the road is a whole lot more open and calm. It did kinda change me and helped me with women at home as well I guess, but not so much making me more "interesting", just more relaxed around them.

 

When you come near anyone, do you think about what they are thinking about you? Do you think it is positive? Do you think they are putting themselves lower down on the totem compared to you?

 

A lot of guys have expereinced (total guess), myself included, that when we have a girlfriend (and are very happy with them)....other women seem a lot more interested even if they have no idea we are already taken. I think it's because you are relaxed around them. And happy. You don't behave like they owe you anything or even that you want anything. You appear happy and positive because you are. Most women like something like that, not "jerks" or "bad boys".

 

Traveling for my work also helped me because I realized no one there knows who the **** I am. Sometimes that's a good thing. It makes trying to learn how to be a better you a lot easier.

[somedude81]

ROFL! I'm actually going to be in Mexico with my family when Anime Expo is occurring this year. Oh well.

 

There is a Cosplay con in LA on June 7th.

 

Aside from the there is Comicon at the end of July. San Diego isn't too far from me.

 

I did find a meetup group that may be interesting

[organizedchaos]

ROFL! I'm actually going to be in Mexico with my family when Anime Expo is occurring this year. Oh well.

 

There is a Cosplay con in LA on June 7th.

 

Aside from the there is Comicon at the end of July. San Diego isn't too far from me.

 

I did find a meetup group that may be interesting

OCAG (Orange County Anime Group) (Anaheim, CA) - Meetup

 

Join, and go! But don't go just to try and pick up women. Go there to meet people and make friends. And then see what happens.

[KaliLove]

See ya at ComiCon! Hahaha

 

Buy your tickets the day they come out or you won't get them. Thank goodness I get mine through work!

[somedude81]

Yay! A positive thread for once! I know you're not a fan of mine but I'm responding anyway.

 

Women like all sorts of guys. I myself actually prefer nerds. I have a date with a big ol' nerd tonight actually ().

 

What about meeting women on your game? I've read a ton of threads about people who have met through online gaming. That's an interest. I don't necessarily think it has to be something you're crazy passionate about, but it should be something you enjoy.

I'm not playing any online games at the moment. Though with servers being national I just don't know how to work that. I really don't want to get into a long distance thing. Two hours away from me is basically my limit.

 

Or what about a cooking class?

Ah, that's something I need to start looking into again. Like Phoe said, taking a Japanese or even an Asian cooking class would be great.

What about going to a restaurant and eating alone? I recently met a guy while sitting alone at a sushi bar.

How did you meet the guy?

 

What about silly stuff like bar trivia (I also recently met another guy doing that)? It can be something goofy or fun. Have you tried Meetup.com? You can find stuff locally that you're interested in and sign up. I haven't met any guys doing it but I've made some friends in my hiking group.

I'm going to try and attend some meetup groups. The classes I'm taking for college this summer are online only, so unless I go out of my way to do something, I'll spend the entire summer in my apartment, and probably go insane.

 

 

 

Fly your nerd flag proudly sir. There are all different types of women out there who like all different types of men. I'm glad to see you writing something proactive and positive.

Thanks

[somedude81]

Look around in different places to see if there are free lessons for things. Even random things.

 

My boyfriend and I were in Bass Pro shops a while back and they were advertising free lessons for fly-tying for fly-fishing, and free lessons for lobster fishing off of kayaks.

 

 

HOW random are those things? And yet, we figured "hey, let's go sometime. It'll be fun, we will learn something interesting, and it's free"

 

 

Something like learning how to tie your own flies seems really out there and pointless, but what if it were to lead to me finding out I REALLY enjoy fly-fishing? Or what if I find out I REALLY like kayaking or eating lobster? Maybe now I must learn how to cook lobster!

 

 

Even just one small opportunity, can lead to something much larger. Doors are always opening.

No offense, but doing random things like that is a hell of a lot more fun when you're with somebody.

 

Even if the thing you're doing turns out to not be interesting, the fact that you're with somebody you love can make it a great experience.

 

I remember volunteering with my ex at some event where we had to cut watermelon slices and yell at anybody who walked by to take some. I had a lot of fun because I was with her, but if I went by myself, I would have just been bored out of my mind.

[ASG]

No offense, but doing random things like that is a hell of a lot more fun when you're with somebody.

 

Even if the thing you're doing turns out to not be interesting, the fact that you're with somebody you love can make it a great experience.

 

I remember volunteering with my ex at some event where we had to cut watermelon slices and yell at anybody who walked by to take some. I had a lot of fun because I was with her, but if I went by myself, I would have just been bored out of my mind.

 

But friends are great for these things as well!! It's the same with anything, really. You tend to have more fun if you have someone to share it with! But that someone does NOT have to be a gf/bf. It can be a friend.

 

AND, if you do these things (with friends) you'll have interesting stories to tell about random shytt you do on your free time, which will make you more interesting!

[somedude81]

But friends are great for these things as well!! It's the same with anything, really. You tend to have more fun if you have someone to share it with! But that someone does NOT have to be a gf/bf. It can be a friend.

 

AND, if you do these things (with friends) you'll have interesting stories to tell about random shytt you do on your free time, which will make you more interesting!

 

Yeah I know about friends. But that's an issue for another thread.

[ASG]

Yeah I know about friends. But that's an issue for another thread.

 

But that meetup group is a good opportunity to make friends as well as trying to find a GF!

Please please PLEASE don't dismiss that part of it! Some of my VERY BEST FRIENDS I met at cons! And they are there for me, when I'm lonely or sad or just need company to go do something!

Friends make being single not that bad.

 

And the things that will make you more interesting to women, will also make you more interesting to people in general, and might make you some very good friends. They go hand in hand! Don't separate them!!!

[normal person]

I think if you want to be interesting you need to engage in things that aren't so insular. Playing video games and watching cartoons is fine to do if that's what you enjoy (although I tend to agree with the guy that said you should get some more age appropriate interests to cast a wider net -- for every girl who likes this stuff, there will be multiple who will raise their eyebrow at it) but it's entirely passive. A complete waste of time in my opinion.

 

The problem with this stuff is that you're merely a consumer of it. You sit there and watch or you sit there and play. Nothing about you gets better or more interesting as a result. You don't gain a skill or learn anything new. To be interesting, you need to shape peoples' opinions of you and you don't do that by merely observing things other people have created.

 

Playing guitar is great. It's dramatically altered the course of my life for the better. Learn music. Learn art. Take an improv class. Develop a business. Try woodworking. Make something. Be an active participant in life. Put something of yours out into the world rather than just observe and consume what others do. No one's opinion about you is going to change if your lifestyle is that passive. You need to do or create something that impresses, excites, changes opinions/feelings, etc. Not just sit there watching anime. Do something that makes yourself more marketable.

 

Every moment I'm awake I'm thinking about how to better myself and how to effectively use my time to do so. Reduce your indulgences and use your time and energy on something constructive that will better your life for more than the present.

Edited May 28, 2014 by normal person

[carhill]

YMMV but I certainly did become more apparently interesting to local women during/after my period of international dating. In fact, I met my then wife as a result of our conversations about my travels to the CIS/FSU, since her ancestors were from that area of the world. Those conversations were the 'hook' which resulted in a meeting and so on and so forth. I also noted that my dating opportunities, for whatever reason, seemed to flourish after that year or so of consistent travel.

 

However, part of that result was from consistent and clear focus on meeting single women, whether nearby or afar. It was a 'job'. It didn't just happen. It was during that time I came to focus on the phrase 'success is where preparation and opportunity meet'. For a man with a long and successful dating history behind him, such focus would likely be irrelevant, but for someone who struggled with getting women interested in dating him, it appeared to work out fine.