Why should "the rules" have to change to negate your fears of rejection?

[joystickd]

You don't have to approach either. It is your choice. Men and women are equal here. You are just looking at it wrong.

 

If a woman has a problem where she isn't getting the guys she wants because none of those guys ever approach her, than that is her problem to deal with.

True it is our choice but like I said I was offering another perspective. We have women that get on here and complain about men. They whine about how men do them. They complain about gender roles and how men are because they are allowed to be that way. Isn't in their benefit to approach in order to challenge that status quo? What benefits have they really gained by taking the passive approach in dating/relationships? There comes a time as a person you have to be proactive in your own success.

 

Just posing a thought.......I prefer to approach anyway lol:p

[joystickd]

It's less about loving traditional masculinity and more about pragmatism and realism.

 

Dating and mating has nothing to do with socio-political movements. Attraction isn't triggered by ideology.

True but that was more of a challenge to the whining women that complain about men. They would benefit more than say a woman that has less issues. A woman with less issues wouldn't have a desire to be so methodical and calculating when it comes to attraction.

[Imported]

True it is our choice but like I said I was offering another perspective. We have women that get on here and complain about men. They whine about how men do them. They complain about gender roles and how men are because they are allowed to be that way. Isn't in their benefit to approach in order to challenge that status quo? What benefits have they really gained by taking the passive approach in dating/relationships? There comes a time as a person you have to be proactive in your own success.

 

Just posing a thought.......I prefer to approach anyway lol:p

 

 

They (the women that don't approach and complain) are not equal. Sometimes you gotta step up all on your own to be equal. That is what being a man is. They are not.

Edited June 1, 2014 by Imported

[joystickd]

It's less about loving traditional masculinity and more about pragmatism and realism.

I have learned all women love it and it's not about realism or pragmatism. The ones who complain have issues with it because either they are too logical, on some level have masculine qualities, or just can't find a man.

[joystickd]

Hell the way they are feminizing this younger generation of men approaching maybe the way to go.

[joystickd]

I do. I don't want to pretend we are equal because we are not the same. I love the differences.

Most love the benefit of the difference. Some women love making the argument that men are bigger and stronger to support their victim role

[Untouched]

True but that was more of a challenge to the whining women that complain about men.

 

I don't think that whining and complaining sexist people are the total norm, even though it seems like there are a lot of them on sites like this one! I sure don't want to date them.

[Keenly]

I really don't care about rules or roles. If a woman sees me, likes me, and doesn't make any kind of effort whatsoever to either make herself known, get my attention, or talk to me

She isn't worth my time. She's too passive, borderline wallflower for me .

 

 

She doesn't have to hit on me. But she can come over and say hi.

[jbelle6]

I really don't care about rules or roles. If a woman sees me, likes me, and doesn't make any kind of effort whatsoever to either make herself known, get my attention, or talk to me

She isn't worth my time. She's too passive, borderline wallflower for me .

 

 

She doesn't have to hit on me. But she can come over and say hi.

 

 

 

 

See, thing is, that's how I feel about a man.

[jbelle6]

This doesn't even have to be deep. I don't think it's wrong for a woman to ask out a man, I just wouldn't do it, doesn't fit my personality.

 

If you want to ask someone out, do it, if you don't, then don't.

[jbelle6]

Most love the benefit of the difference. Some women love making the argument that men are bigger and stronger to support their victim role

 

 

Maybe I just find it sexy since I'm biologically attracted to men.

 

So over this thread lol.

[joystickd]

I don't think that whining and complaining sexist people are the total norm, even though it seems like there are a lot of them on sites like this one! I sure don't want to date them.

I know but you have to challenge them.

[GoreSP]

I really don't care about rules or roles. If a woman sees me, likes me, and doesn't make any kind of effort whatsoever to either make herself known, get my attention, or talk to me

She isn't worth my time. She's too passive, borderline wallflower for me .

 

 

She doesn't have to hit on me. But she can come over and say hi.

 

Women think the exact same thing.

Maybe that's why dating sucks...

[Keenly]

Women think the exact same thing.

Maybe that's why dating sucks...

 

Well if a woman wants to sit on her hands, take a 10p% passive approach to dating, and leave her romantic happiness soley in the hands of chance / the gods, she's welcome to it.

 

Shed have more opputunities if she was just a little proactive about it.

 

 

I'm not asking for much. A smile. A friendly hello.

[joystickd]

Maybe I just find it sexy since I'm biologically attracted to men.

 

So over this thread lol.

 

And some love playing the victim.

[lollipopspot]

I'm not asking for much. A smile.

 

It's reasonable that people would hope for at at least minimal encouragement before they approach.

[joystickd]

Women think the exact same thing.

Maybe that's why dating sucks...

 

Yeah people just lazy

[NYC-BigKat]

I've seen a lot of threads and heard a lot of talk - especially since the Isla Vista shooting - about how more women should start approaching men, namely because men are "tired" of facing rejection. But why is this so? Why should women have to accommodate a select few men and alleviate their phobias by going against standard practice and what some might argue is human nature?

 

Saying nothing of the fact that many women who approach men first are often seen - sometimes even by the men themselves - as too aggressive, desperate, predatory or masculine. I can't tell you how many times I've been told it's emasculating or a "turn off".

 

To say more women should start approaching also means one has to operate under the assumption that if a woman approaches, she will not get rejected. It sort of implies that men would never reject any woman who came onto them which I think we all know is categorically untrue.

 

Personally, I have no problem showing interest, flirting etc, nor do I have an aversion to approaching men out of "fear" but it certainly doesn't make me feel feminine either. And frankly, if a guy is too timid to approach me, we probably wouldn't be a good fit anyway.

 

 

So I ask, how does this solve anyone's problem?

 

Um...girls should approach guys at least a tiny little bit 'cause guys aren't all scared & putting up walls & stuff like lots of girls always do & stuff. A whole lots of girls are scared of guys & we gotta always find ways to make u girls feel safe or you'll run away from us . Guys don't do that stuff. If we don't like u we'll still be nice about it & not ask u out. Girls don't always do this. I had them insult me or just ignore me u know. Its not a good feeling at all .

[Glinda.Good]

Well if a woman wants to sit on her hands, take a 10p% passive approach to dating, and leave her romantic happiness soley in the hands of chance / the gods, she's welcome to it.

 

Shed have more opputunities if she was just a little proactive about it.

100% TRUTH

 

 

I'm not asking for much. A smile. A friendly hello.

 

Now you're veering off. What YOU would like, and what lonely girls would like do not necessarily have to merge. When they do, though, it would be a happy day.

[Rain-man]

A woman approach a man? Forget about it, its just not going to happen. Or we would have to redefine "approach".

 

Yes, I know. It is every young man's central point of anger and frustration in life. *Why don't women just verbally and explicitly show interest?*

 

Women truthfully become totally retarded when they have feelings for a guy. How do you expect them to do anything while in such an incapacitated state? That is why it is up to the guy to form sentences and use spoken, unambiguous language.

 

You wait for a girl to hit on you and she will probably just trip over something and fall down on the way over to you, and make a fool of herself. By then she will hate you anyways, because you didn't hit on her...So it won't really matter.

 

But no, you guys go ahead and try to go against the patterns of mother nature. Good luck with that.

 

This is hogwash, I tell you. I can count on my hand just how many women I approached in my lifetime. The number is very low, yes?

 

I get hit on almost every day when I am out and about doing my errands. I don't mind the attention, no. I do mind if she's tacky, yes.

[GoreSP]

Well if a woman wants to sit on her hands, take a 10p% passive approach to dating, and leave her romantic happiness soley in the hands of chance / the gods, she's welcome to it.

 

Shed have more opputunities if she was just a little proactive about it.

 

 

I'm not asking for much. A smile. A friendly hello.

 

I know, but my point is that men and women think the same thing. Hell, according to «the rules» this is what women are expected to do.

 

Now we have a bunch of single people thinking «well, if the other person isn't making a move, why would I bother» and everyone complains they are lonely.

well duh…

 

I had guys asked me out that I would have never thought to ask out. And I ended up dating them. Just like I asked out some men who would probably have never thought to ask me out and we ended up dating.

 

I'm just saying this way of thinking is on both sides and probably one of the main reasons people aren't getting dates….

[GoreSP]

Yeah people just lazy

 

Or have balls that look like dried raisins…lol

[Glinda.Good]

This is hogwash, I tell you. I can count on my hand just how many women I approached in my lifetime. The number is very low, yes?

 

I get hit on almost every day when I am out and about doing my errands.

 

What is your secret?

[joystickd]

Or have balls that look like dried raisins…lol

 

Possibly but men and women are lazy

[NYC-BigKat]

I've had a decent amount of girls approach me and make the first move throughout my life.

 

Most, though, will just stand very close to you at a bar, or come over your house to watch a movie, or put herself in other positions for you to make a move.

 

This is not because of gender roles (that's the excuse they use). It's because they're too scared of rejection and don't really need to approach (since they will have guys approaching them).

 

I wish I had a girl approach me . I just don't seem to be any girl's type.