the tank Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 I had three dates with a girl who is 22 but she never initiate . A girl who is a friend told me if she interest she will text me. She told me to wait . Note : the girl i am dating is shy and introvert . Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 I had three dates with a girl who is 22 but she never initiate . A girl who is a friend told me if she interest she will text me. She told me to wait . Note : the girl i am dating is shy and introvert . Ugh Stop playing games. If you're interested text her. Imagine she is doing the same thing... you'll never text each other ever again!!! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author the tank Posted May 29, 2014 Author Share Posted May 29, 2014 ASG i thought the same thing of you but need an opionion of other since my sister and my friend told me told to wait (both are extrovert and not shy) . I never ask myself this question. I always tought the guy should initiate before the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 Just text her if you want to and stop trying to play by some imaginary rule! Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 A girl should text whenever she feels like it As a side note - shy does not equal introvert, but the shy part will likely prevent a girl from texting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 Culturally women were taught to sit back & let men chase us. That stereotype is changing but not fast enough. If the girl is playing by The Rules, she will never initiate. Those ideas are very old fashioned. The only one who knows whether she isn't texting because of some antiquated tradition or because she is not that into you is her. You have to talk to her. Mention that you noticed she doesn't initiate contact with you & ask her why. If she is contacting you other ways -- e-mail, phone calls, even through social media -- don't worry so much about the fact that she doesn't text. Link to post Share on other sites
Iguanna Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 ASG i thought the same thing of you but need an opionion of other since my sister and my friend told me told to wait (both are extrovert and not shy) . I never ask myself this question. I always tought the guy should initiate before the relationship. In my opinion it's not a guy or girl thing, rather than a personality issue. Since you see that she is shy (the introvert thing is irrelevant) you should try and help her out with this. But I would suggest on the next date you mention to her that it would make you happy if she initiated contact next time and try to assure her that it would be ok if she did. Help her feel more secure with you and trust you and I'm sure she'll become more open soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 A girl who is a friend told me if she interest she will text me. She told me to wait . I agree with your friend. Regardless how shy a girl is, her feelings of interest would overcome this and she would reach out to you. It's been three dates and she doesn't initiate contact with you means she isn't interest in you. She may like the attention you are giving her. But do what other posters have suggested. Mention it to her first and gauge her reaction. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the tank Posted May 29, 2014 Author Share Posted May 29, 2014 I agree with your friend. Regardless how shy a girl is, her feelings of interest would overcome this and she would reach out to you. It's been three dates and she doesn't initiate contact with you means she isn't interest in you. She may like the attention you are giving her. But do what other posters have suggested. Mention it to her first and gauge her reaction. I dont give her lot of attention , i only sent her a text every two days and we chit chat a bit. She do tell me she is not good at texting at the third date. She told me for exemple, she never text back if she saw a message the day after and that happen often. But she answer mine . I will do what Iguanna told me. Plus I will see if she accept a fourth date... ! In other case i will next her . Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 I think the key is to not overdo anything and not to do it in a clingy way like you're insecure or checking up. But of course, it's good to touch base in a casual way the day after a date and suggest you'll be in touch and hope to do it again sometime. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the tank Posted May 29, 2014 Author Share Posted May 29, 2014 Thanks everyone for your opinion, I really appreciate it ! Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 I'm a shy person especially at first and probably would wait for you to text me. I never know what to say on those things as I'm not a huge text person. Her not texting you does not mean she isn't interested, if she is responding to your texts then she probably is. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Note : the girl i am dating is shy and introvert . I think this says it all, don't you? If you like her and want to continue getting closer, just pick up the damn ball and run with it and forget about what anyone says. I am willing to bet that once you've spent a bit more time together and established a bit of a relationship, she'll be the one initiated the texting but until she feels more comfortable with you step up and STOP listening to your sister and her friend!!! You just told us they're both extroverts which means they wouldn't understand how shy girls operate when it comes to dating. Go get 'em tiger! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author the tank Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 Thanks for advice , I texted her yesterday and she answer but was between her day and night shift so didnt talk a lot! Link to post Share on other sites
Author the tank Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 When I asked her out , she ignored me ... been 24 hours. I am moving on. It too complicated. If she like me ,she have my phone number ! I learn a lot through her . Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I keep forgetting that this day and age, you have to tell people specifically to not text, but reach out with a phone call. When I asked her out , she ignored me ... been 24 hours. I am moving on. It too complicated. If she like me ,she have my phone number ! I learn a lot through her . You should of called her instead, since she is not a "text" person. I think you should try one last time with a phone call. Leave a succinct message about taking her out for a third date, in case she doesn't pick up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author the tank Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 maybe I should , but when i ask her about it, she do tell me she is not good at texting and she is even worst at calling Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 maybe I should , but when i ask her about it, she do tell me she is not good at texting and she is even worst at calling Wow, this girl is working overtime with laying down obstacles for communicating with her. Either she is really socially awkward or she is really not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the tank Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 She told me this at the second date and accept a third. I dont know why she make thing so complicated. She was hurt in her past relationship two years ago. I think she put many barriers to not get hurt again...why I always fall for these 'complicated' girl ? I dont know why. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 She told me this at the second date and accept a third. I dont know why she make thing so complicated. She was hurt in her past relationship two years ago. I think she put many barriers to not get hurt again...why I always fall for these 'complicated' girl ? I dont know why. Everyone gets hurt from past relationships. For her it's been two years. Some people hold on to past hurt for very long time. She could be one of these people. If she rather build walls than build a bridge, then you are in a losing situation with her. She will never let you in. As for why you like complicated girls, that could be because you want to be the one that changes such a girl, the one that breaks through her walls and makes a connection with her. There is nothing wrong with such a notion, because most people that want a healthy relationship, want to connect with their partner. But what is bad about this is some people don't want to let anyone in. This happens to intoxicate the pursuer, to chase after something mysterious. If you like such complicated girls, be prepared for a lot of suffering and unrequited feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author the tank Posted June 3, 2014 Author Share Posted June 3, 2014 Everyone gets hurt from past relationships. For her it's been two years. Some people hold on to past hurt for very long time. She could be one of these people. If she rather build walls than build a bridge, then you are in a losing situation with her. She will never let you in. I think so . Yesterday I called her , she told me she didnt feel the spark... but why she texted me today... She seem to try to convince herself she made a good decision. I am letting her go ! Link to post Share on other sites
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