Jeremy Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 I am 16 years old, and my mom recently found some porn in my room. She completely freaked out! I’m a good kid—I don’t use drugs or have sex. Now she doesn’t trust me and sort of despises me. I've tried to stop masturbating, and even went to confession because of it once, but I keep getting really horny. My mom keeps telling me that I better not be doing that in her house, and that these magazines are the devil. I know that what what I am doing is wrong, but how do I stop myself? Could I be a sex addict? I do it almost every day. Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 Hi Jeremy, About the magazines...find a better place to hide them so you won't face the embarrassment of dealing with this situation again. About masturbating in her house, do it in the privacy of your bedroom or bathroom. And lock your door. You are completely normal. I don't think what you're doing is "wrong" at all. All my guy friends I've talked to about this topic have told me they do it regularly. Some of my female friends admit to doing it too. And stay off drugs Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 I don't think you're a sex addict and I don't think what you're doing is really terrible. What makes it awful is that mom found out. Many young men do this, I think. At my junior high school, there used to be a black market in girlie magazines. And most of the guys admitted to what they used them for. I also think your mother should have been more understanding. Perhaps you should get a priest from your church to discuss this with her, let her know how important it is that she forgive you. This is also really complicated because it sends a terrible message to you about sexuality. It's far better for you to take out your sexual frustrations at home with magazines than to go off and get girls pregnant, or worse, rape them and go to jail for the rest of your life. If your mother is the same religion as you, she should understand the concept of forgiveness. Have a priest come over and give her a refresher course. Also, if I were you I would definitely try to reduce your indulgence in this activity. It can reduce your energy level, physical strength and lead to more frequency which in turn can cause a further reduction in your energy level. If there is a psychologist at your school, you might want to see him/her and get some help...and perhaps your mother could join on a session or two at a later point. I have an idea your father will be more understanding of this sitaution, if he's around. Link to post Share on other sites
Sara Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 Jeremy, Trust me you are REALLY normal. And there is nothing wrong at all with masturbating. In fact it should be something you really enjoy. Maturbating is a great way to find out about your body and how it works. And at 16 you are probably really horny which is normal and this is a good release. So continue to enjoy yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
Sticki Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 JEREMY, Its much better at your age to be masturbating everyday than to be having SEX everyday. I hope you are still a virgin. Teenagers these days are having sex waaaaaaaay too early, and trust me it just complicates things! Just try to be more careful next time with the porn.....or start using mental imagery. (im not sure if thats a word or not lol!) Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 I don't think Jeremy's problem here is masturbation so much. We all know that is pretty normal. Everything all of you said is right on target...except the very big problem now is mom. Now that mom knows about this and is pretty peeved, she's going to be listening at the bathroom door, making him leave his bedroom door unlocked, etc. This will drive Jeremy to other venues for his activity which is not good. I think mom is being unreasonable but I don't encourage Jeremy to be disrespectful. Maybe he can time his activities for while she is outside, at the neighbors, shopping or otherwise away from home. I still think some adult male needs to have a talk with her and let her know just how it is with young boys...and girls these days. If his dad is around and understanding, maybe he can have a talk with his mother. His mother needs a bit of education. I really don't know how to solve this but her discovery may make Jeremy's sex life with himself pretty difficult. His mother's implication that masturbation is evil or wrong is not serving Jeremy's best interests. While I really hate to disagree with somebody's mother, I have to tell you in this case she's way off the mark. Having a penis can be a real pain. But masturbation can be magnificent. I must add that sex beyond magazines is even better. So how do we help Jeremy? Link to post Share on other sites
girl's view Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 what you are doing *is not wrong*!!!! it is TOTALLY NORMAL. you are not a sex addict either. you are at an age where you are discovering your body and it is just the stigma attached to self-discovery of the sexual kind that make some people perceive it as "wrong" or "the devil". your mother's reactions are more than likely due to the way she was brought up. fair enough, she is entitled to her own opinion, but try not to let her make you feel this is bad. she is probably also freaked out that you are having sexual feelings. no parent likes to think of their child having sexual feelings (just like we don't like to think of our parents having the same feelings). is your dad around or another male figure you can talk to? it would probably be a real help to you if you could talk to another male and feel assured that it is perfectly ok to be masturbating and to read porn. maybe they could have a word to your mother too. a lot of guys i know have confessed to doing it in the shower. it is a great release and is the perfect private place to do it. just lock the doors!!! it's great that you are discovering what you like. it's great that you are not rushing into having sex yet, and even more great that you don't do drugs!! perhaps if you could come to some sort of compromise for yourself - only in the shower, or when mom isn't home. you'll figure something out - just don't be ashamed. you're totally normal. she's probably just freaked out that her little boy is not a little boy anymore and her own views on this have managed to surface. talk to her if you feel comfortable, or talk to another guy. I am 16 years old, and my mom recently found some porn in my room. She completely freaked out! I'm a good kid--I don't use drugs or have sex. Now she doesn't trust me and sort of despises me. I've tried to stop masturbating, and even went to confession because of it once, but I keep getting really horny. My mom keeps telling me that I better not be doing that in her house, and that these magazines are the devil. I know that what what I am doing is wrong, but how do I stop myself? Could I be a sex addict? I do it almost every day. Link to post Share on other sites
Carol Posted February 12, 2001 Share Posted February 12, 2001 I am a mom of 37 years old and I have a 17 year old son in South Africa (I am in Netherlands) This is what you do Your mom is obviously worried and you can see that You are filled with guilt But you are nearly and probably a man already age is not the label on how mature you are Take the magazines and throw them away Your mom is right It will pollute your mind and confuse you about real sex which you will find out about after your teaching from the Church which is the only correct way you will be taught Those books my friend are misleading you into looking at other people's bodies and watching them have sex is adultery one of the commandments Show your mother you have put them in a bad and ask her where you can throw them away Then ask her to sit and talk with you if she would feel comfortable Tell her she is right and perhaps she would be more available if you needed to talk on any issues you were feeling shy about She is married I presume or was and will be the best and most trusted person to help you If you need any more advice mail me <e-mail address removed> I am Carol from Netherlands and done much counselling apart from being a mother Rather listen to your mother and hear and remember all that she has to teach you than to beleive magazines which are trying to give you a dirty and misleading opinion of what sex really is There is no book that can tell you how it really is Just when you are old enough and finished studies you will find the girl hopefully a Christian or Catholic girl who is decent and clean (I am sure you would never go near any of those you saw in the magazine) So put them away for good and turn from it and be strong just like a real man Real men do not need to use pornography I am 16 years old, and my mom recently found some porn in my room. She completely freaked out! I’m a good kid—I don’t use drugs or have sex. Now she doesn’t trust me and sort of despises me. I've tried to stop masturbating, and even went to confession because of it once, but I keep getting really horny. My mom keeps telling me that I better not be doing that in her house, and that these magazines are the devil. I know that what what I am doing is wrong, but how do I stop myself? Could I be a sex addict? I do it almost every day. Link to post Share on other sites
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