My ex has completely blocked me from everything. What would cause her to do that?

[somedude81]

Sure you were. You kept after her after she broke up with you wanting answers for you. That's the definition of selfish.

That's all after the fact.

 

Essentially, after she dumped me, we both became two different people. Our interactions with each other completely changed.

[Badsingularity]

If you can make a woman feel right, she will not leave you. If a woman doesn't feel right with you she will most likely end the relationship. Asking her why may not give you any good answers because she may not even understand why she feels the way she does herself. Even if everything is going great from your point of view, if she doesn't feel right when she is with you she will be unhappy in the relationship.

[Anela]

Cut me some slack Anela. She broke my heart. The last thing I'm going to do is worry about that I might be upsetting her by contacting her too much.

 

I know how it feels - I don't mean to pick on you - but it isn't going to get you anywhere with her, or anybody else.

 

I would have done absolutely anything she wanted to keep her with me. I would have worked my hardest to become the person she wanted me to be.

 

So no, I am not being selfish and entitled at all.

 

But what if that wasn't enough? There was nothing you could do. And what if there is someone out there waiting to meet a healthier, happier, more successful you?

[somedude81]

If you can make a woman feel right, she will not leave you. If a woman doesn't feel right with you she will most likely end the relationship. Asking her why may not give you any good answers because she may not even understand why she feels the way she does herself. Even if everything is going great from your point of view, if she doesn't feel right when she is with you she will be unhappy in the relationship.

 

Yup, and from what I understood about my break up, she didn't really know why she didn't feel right. So essentially, I was harassing her with questions she could not answer. Of course that just made things worse.

 

It's definitely a mistake I won't make again.

 

Now if only I can figure out why she didn't feel right about me and the relationship and how to make it work with the next girl. So far the most given answer is to let her know that I have other things going on in my life, that way she can't possibly feel that I'm being needy, even though I was perfectly happy to spend time by myself.

[Badsingularity]

 

Now if only I can figure out why she didn't feel right about me and the relationship and how to make it work with the next girl.

 

It has to do with your state of mind, inner strength, confidence, attitude, ability to face fears, belief in yourself. They can feel it.

 

She has to feel like you are strong(mentally) and confident.

 

When you don't feel this way your body language, facial expression, and actions show it to her on a subconscious level and she will not feel right about you.

 

I can see this in action even now in my marriage. If I start having a weak state of mind, complaining about things more, thinking more negatively, not feeling in control of my life, not feeling confident, I notice my wife starts to act more distant. Luckily I know exactly how to fix it. When I notice this happening, i change my state of mind to that of strength. I think, I am a man, I can face whatever comes my way, I will stop complaining and do what I need to do, I am in control of my life and i am not scared. When I do this I can actually feel my facial expression change and my body language. When this happens my wife's behavior towards me changes almost immediately. She goes from being distant to being very affectionate and wanting to have sex. This actually can happen within seconds to minutes of me changing my mindset.

[Teknoe]

I would have done absolutely anything she wanted to keep her with me. I would have worked my hardest to become the person she wanted me to be.

 

She didn't want YOU. There was nothing you could have done to improve. Once a girl makes up her mind that she's done with you, you're as good as roadkill. It's happened to me many times before. You can't cry and moan forever. You need to move on.

 

Just like with Danielle, you need to let it go.

It also doesn't look like you have even considered it, but I would seek professional counseling if I were you as well. This sounds like an issue that won't go away on its own, nor will it go away by posting on the internet about. You need a grown, mature and responsible adult to walk you through this grieving process IN PERSON. FACE TO FACE

[KaliLove]

I would have done absolutely anything she wanted to keep her with me. I would have worked my hardest to become the person she wanted me to be.

 

So no, I am not being selfish and entitled at all.

 

This is what you're having trouble understanding.

 

You keep trying to analyze it when that's just not possible. You cannot always explain or understand someone's feelings. The brain and the heart work separately a lot of the time. You can't always keep someone just by going through the correct motions..it's not like fixing a car. She has to FEEL something for you. Emotions are unpredictable.

 

Another aspect that you keep ignoring is that she is 21 years old. She's just a kid. It's HIGHLY unlikely that this relationship would have worked out in the long run..you two were in VERY different places in life.

[somedude81]

This is what you're having trouble understanding.

 

You keep trying to analyze it when that's just not possible. You cannot always explain or understand someone's feelings. The brain and the heart work separately a lot of the time. You can't always keep someone just by going through the correct motions..it's not like fixing a car. She has to FEEL something for you. Emotions are unpredictable.

I don't like to feel that there was absolutely nothing I could have done. There has to have been something I could have done different, some reason why she decided to end it.

 

It took me so long to get my first GF and I just can't explain how horrible the feeling is to just have her walk away.

 

My life pretty much fell apart when she left.

 

Another aspect that you keep ignoring is that she is 21 years old. She's just a kid. It's HIGHLY unlikely that this relationship would have worked out in the long run..you two were in VERY different places in life.

Actually, we are in very similar places in life.

 

Based on my maturity level, life experiences and relationship experience, I'm 32 in numbers alone.

 

Getting back to different places in life, I'm graduating college this year and will hopefully start my career. She has two years of nursing school, then she will start her career. So essentially I'm only two years ahead of her. Other than that, as far as I can tell, we were on the same exact life stage. I'm not in any hurry to get married have kids. If we did stay together, she would be the one who would have decided when those things happened. I would have gone along with whatever she wanted.

[nofeelings22]

Doesn't always work this way. At my strongest, most decisive period, that's when mine bailed.

 

 

It has to do with your state of mind, inner strength, confidence, attitude, ability to face fears, belief in yourself. They can feel it.

 

She has to feel like you are strong(mentally) and confident.

 

When you don't feel this way your body language, facial expression, and actions show it to her on a subconscious level and she will not feel right about you.

 

I can see this in action even now in my marriage. If I start having a weak state of mind, complaining about things more, thinking more negatively, not feeling in control of my life, not feeling confident, I notice my wife starts to act more distant. Luckily I know exactly how to fix it. When I notice this happening, i change my state of mind to that of strength. I think, I am a man, I can face whatever comes my way, I will stop complaining and do what I need to do, I am in control of my life and i am not scared. When I do this I can actually feel my facial expression change and my body language. When this happens my wife's behavior towards me changes almost immediately. She goes from being distant to being very affectionate and wanting to have sex. This actually can happen within seconds to minutes of me changing my mindset.

[xxoo]

You are in the same place, but not necessarily on the same track. It took you 14 adult years to get to that place. It took her 2. Why would she believe she wasn't going to pass you by before she's 25?

 

Put another way, you haven't shown much progress since early twenties. Why would a woman feel confident that you'll progress in your 30s?

[rester]

I don't like to feel that there was absolutely nothing I could have done. There has to have been something I could have done different, some reason why she decided to end it.

 

It took me so long to get my first GF and I just can't explain how horrible the feeling is to just have her walk away.

 

My life pretty much fell apart when she left.

 

 

Actually, we are in very similar places in life.

 

Based on my maturity level, life experiences and relationship experience, I'm 32 in numbers alone.

 

Getting back to different places in life, I'm graduating college this year and will hopefully start my career. She has two years of nursing school, then she will start her career. So essentially I'm only two years ahead of her. Other than that, as far as I can tell, we were on the same exact life stage. I'm not in any hurry to get married have kids. If we did stay together, she would be the one who would have decided when those things happened. I would have gone along with whatever she wanted.

 

It's not healthy to go along with anything your partner wants, just to make them happy. In the end it backfires on you. The trick is to know what you want, be honest about what you want, hope that SHE knows and is honest with what SHE wants, and then you discuss and come to an agreement, or not.

 

From your posts, it doesn't sound like either of you communicated what you wanted. You held back the "I love you" because of fear she wouldn't return the sentiment. She held back her issues with the relationship, most likely out of fear of hurting you, conflict with you, whatever it is, it doesn't matter now. In the end you were clueless to the issues you had, partly because of her inability to bring them up, although I do agree with some other posters that your self-awareness may have had something to do with it. Sometimes we have no idea how we come across to others because we are not watching ourselves from the outside.

 

Learn from your mistakes, but don't dwell on them because this wasn't all your fault.

[KaliLove]

I don't like to feel that there was absolutely nothing I could have done. There has to have been something I could have done different, some reason why she decided to end it.

 

It took me so long to get my first GF and I just can't explain how horrible the feeling is to just have her walk away.

 

My life pretty much fell apart when she left.

 

 

Actually, we are in very similar places in life.

 

Based on my maturity level, life experiences and relationship experience, I'm 32 in numbers alone.

 

Getting back to different places in life, I'm graduating college this year and will hopefully start my career. She has two years of nursing school, then she will start her career. So essentially I'm only two years ahead of her. Other than that, as far as I can tell, we were on the same exact life stage. I'm not in any hurry to get married have kids. If we did stay together, she would be the one who would have decided when those things happened. I would have gone along with whatever she wanted.

 

Emotions don't work this way. There's nothing you could have done. There aren't always reasons for feelings. It's not like fixing a car, you can't just tweak something and make everything perfect again..there aren't always easy fixes when feelings fade or change. You MUST stop thinking this way. Things change..people change..that's just life. Sometimes there's just nothing you can do about it.

 

She was at a stage where she didn't want to be in a relationship and you did..that automatically puts you in different places.

 

PLEASE stop analyzing this. It's SO incredibly unhealthy. Obsessing over your ex is not going to help you meet someone new..and hopefully closer to your age.

[Badsingularity]

Doesn't always work this way. At my strongest, most decisive period, that's when mine bailed.

 

It is a balance. There are plenty of other things it takes to maintain a happy relationship. What I am talking about is what I think the op needs to work on.

[Simon Phoenix]

I don't like to feel that there was absolutely nothing I could have done. There has to have been something I could have done different, some reason why she decided to end it.

 

There you go again, trying to force logic into feelings. It doesn't work like that, no matter how badly you want it to. I feel like I'm watching this when I'm reading your posts.

 

http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/wrongg2.gif

[Badsingularity]

There has to have been something I could have done different, some reason why she decided to end it.

 

That is what my post was about.

[BC1980]

Emotions don't work this way. There's nothing you could have done. There aren't always reasons for feelings. It's not like fixing a car, you can't just tweak something and make everything perfect again..there aren't always easy fixes when feelings fade or change. You MUST stop thinking this way. Things change..people change..that's just life. Sometimes there's just nothing you can do about it.

 

She was at a stage where she didn't want to be in a relationship and you did..that automatically puts you in different places.

 

PLEASE stop analyzing this. It's SO incredibly unhealthy. Obsessing over your ex is not going to help you meet someone new..and hopefully closer to your age.

 

Please take this advice. Unless there was something obvious (like you cheated or became an alcoholic or abused her), there usually isn't a reason that makes much sense. Do you know the reason I got? After 3 years, my ex said we just weren't compatible. Literally, that is the only reason I was given.

 

At some point, you have to let all of this constant analyzing and obsessing go. It doesn't matter anymore, and you will never know the real reason. I will never know or understand the reason my relationship ended, but it doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that matters is moving on. Right now, you are putting so much energy into this person that it's like you are carrying out a relationship on some alternate plane. I bet it's much more exhausting than being in the actual relationship, yet you are reaping no rewards.

[somedude81]

You are in the same place, but not necessarily on the same track. It took you 14 adult years to get to that place. It took her 2. Why would she believe she wasn't going to pass you by before she's 25?

 

Put another way, you haven't shown much progress since early twenties. Why would a woman feel confident that you'll progress in your 30s?

 

Uh, how can my ex possibly pass me when I'm graduating in December?

 

Once I gradate that's it. There is nothing else holding back "progress."

[sweetjasmine]

Why should I care if the girl feels that I'm smothering her after she dumped me? After she dumps me, her feelings don't mean sh*t.

 

After she dumps you, why should YOUR feelings mean sh*t then? Why should she have cared that you wanted closure and explanations and a second chance and all that?

[Lani]

Uh, how can my ex possibly pass me when I'm graduating in December?

 

Once I gradate that's it. There is nothing else holding back "progress."

 

I thought you were graduating last December?

[somedude81]

After she dumps you, why should YOUR feelings mean sh*t then? Why should she have cared that you wanted closure and explanations and a second chance and all that?

 

Obviously my feelings don't mean sh*t to her after she dumped me. She never wanted to give me any explanations after that. She pretty much ignored all texts from me, except for the ones that were designed to provoke a response from her.

[Els]

NC is a pretty common way of dealing with breakups. Why shouldn't she use it?

Edited June 3, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[William]

Cleaned up the off-topic and inflammatory stuff, left the report open for Robert to handle in the morning and we'll deal with the sanctions then. For those who addressed the topic, thanks!