My ex has completely blocked me from everything. What would cause her to do that?

[somedude81]

I had already known that she blocked my phone number, as that's pretty much standard procedure. For a brief time we communicated through email, then she told me in one email that it would be the last thing she would respond. I tried to send her a couple emails after that but she didn't respond. Most likely she marked me as spam. The last time I tried to contact her was at the start of April.

 

Today I was feeling nostalgic and wanted to look at her Facebook, which honestly, seeing how she's doing would just torture me but whatever. Yet I couldn't access her page. Then I did a thing to find out if I was blocked from her Facebook and, yup I was. I haven't sent her a Facebook message in about a year, since before we became a couple, and I never posted on her page, but I guess at one point she thought I would try to contact her that way. I was actually the one to unfriend her. So she had to go out of her way to block me.

 

Finding out I was blocked from her Facebook made me feel a little sick. How could she hate me so much? I did not cheat on her, I was never abusive to her, physically, verbally, or emotionally to her. I never lied to her or disrespected her, or stole from her. The only thing I did to her, was annoy her by trying to get closure, and trying to get her to explain why she dumped me. Was that enough to garner the same response as if I'd cheated on her with three women?

[learning_slowly]

Just because she split with you does not mean they don't get upset by your contact. Especially if you have mutual friends and your name may accidentally popup.

 

You could still view it depending on their settings, but I don't htink its beneficial to you. What will it achieve? If you see her with a new bf, will that help? If so imagine she has one and save yourself actually seeing it.

 

Good luck, its best for you to forget about them. Its hard at first, but does get easier. And the less contact you have, the faster you will get over them and have a chance to be with somebody else. So unknowingly she is helping you.

[Untouched]

I'm sure that feels bad, I understand that. But it's pretty obvious she wants nothing to do with you. It seems like she tried to let you know this but you did not take her seriously and kept at it. I hate to say, but that seems creepy and I'm pretty sure that is why you are blocked. Because you did not go away on your own. I have blocked a guy for that myself, and I am glad I did. I was getting a bad feeling every time I looked at my email or facebook; I did not want to be reminded of stuff. And he was not a bad person at all. Sorry to say that but it's true in my case.

 

A person does not need to have done something heinous to be someone who gets blocked from all contact.

 

I read your other thread and have looked at a few of your past ones. I am getting the picture that maybe you have no idea of how you come off to other people. It might be a good idea to take a good honest look at yourself. For better future relationships with people.

[Candy_Pants]

Blocking phone numbers is only "standard procedure" when the ex won't leave you the eff alone after you've asked, usually repeatedly.

[me85]

Take comfort in this: it's happened to other people too.

 

It sucks. It's not fair...whatever. It happened. You have to find some sense of humor in this crap or it will consume you.

 

When I sit and think, "HE blocked ME, H E blocked M E..." BAHAHAHAHAHA! "Whatever, as if, who fu cking cares?!?"

 

DO NOT LOOK AT THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA OR ANYTHING ANYMORE. STOP BEING CURIOUS.

 

You're doing this to yourself. Just like I was. We've all been there but there needs to come a time when you stop & really think, "Whatever, as if, who fu cking cares?!?"

[somedude81]

I'm sure that feels bad, I understand that. But it's pretty obvious she wants nothing to do with you. It seems like she tried to let you know this but you did not take her seriously and kept at it. I hate to say, but that seems creepy and I'm pretty sure that is why you are blocked. Because you did not go away on your own. I have blocked a guy for that myself, and I am glad I did. I was getting a bad feeling every time I looked at my email or facebook; I did not want to be reminded of stuff. And he was not a bad person at all. Sorry to say that but it's true in my case.

She actually said something pretty much the same to me in her last email

 

------------------------------------------

Don't you understand that not giving it any space from the time I broke up with you, destroyed any possibility of being friends.

You kept asking me why, why, why, over and over and over again. And kept wanting to continue to talk about it. And I told you over and over again that I cannot be the person you talk to about this, then after that one night you went off on me. I was done.

So yes I blocked you. I was sick of seeing stuff from you show up in my email and text regardless of the content because in the back of my mind it was just felt like it was going to be another rant.

In your letter you said you would leave me be and I would really appreciate if you did so. I honestly have nothing left to say to you.

 

I tried to explain it before but you didn't listen. This is the last thing I'm sending to you, please understand where I'm coming from.

-----------------------------------------------------

 

That was from February 17 and the last time she ever responded to me. I knew she was mad and wanted space. But I didn't think she would permanently ban me.

 

A person does not need to have done something heinous to be someone who gets blocked from all contact.

Apparently not.

 

I thought it was reserved for people you hate, or those who really hurt you.

 

Even then, how could she think that I was creepy when we were in a serious relationship that had no real problems? I can remember everything we did together, and how much she liked me, and it doesn't really add up.

[me85]

BTW, I wasn't blocked on his phone because I wouldn't leave him alone and he wasn't asking me to. He loved it. He thrived off of it.

 

I told him no more communication so then he blocked me on his phone.

He did it in a "I'll show her" kind of way. Then told me it was temporary!

 

Crazy.

 

BUT he didn't through email...because he loves it. He craves any kind of attention from me good or bad. It's sick and I'm to blame as well, I know, but I'm so done at this point. It's plain boring.

[somedude81]

BTW, a big reason I feel so bad, is that she was my first and only GF, and finding out that I screwed up with her so badly that she wants to prevent me from ever talking to her again. That just makes me feel sick and that I don't have much hope for the next one.

[Scorpio Chick]

somedude81, I'm sorry I don't know your full story, but going through the mechanical motions of blocking you means she's not indifferent. She probably definitely still has feelings for you and it's just a lashing out in a way and/or it's a way she's trying to cut ties with you for her peace of mind. I blocked a guy once and it was out of anger towards him and because I was in love with him. If I didn't have strong feelings towards him, he wouldn't have even been on and in my mind to even think about that. Currently I have deactivated my Facebook having to do with a guy that I'm more hurt over than angry at. I actually had been off of it and he talked me back into getting on it, I did, then we got involved and it ended (I ended it).

 

I think NC is good. It gives you the only genuine 'closure' (I hate that term) because it forces us to have that person completely out of our lives, which after a significant, failed emotional involvement, is precisely what is needed.

[somedude81]

somedude81, I'm sorry I don't know your full story, but going through the mechanical motions of blocking you means she's not indifferent. She probably definitely still has feelings for you and it's just a lashing out in a way and/or it's a way she's trying to cut ties with you for her peace of mind. I blocked a guy once and it was out of anger towards him and because I was in love with him. If I didn't have strong feelings towards him, he wouldn't have even been on and in my mind to even think about that. Currently I have deactivated my Facebook having to do with a guy that I'm more hurt over than angry at. I actually had been off of it and he talked me back into getting on it, I did, then we got involved and it ended (I ended it).

 

I think NC is good. It gives you the only genuine 'closure' (I hate that term) because it forces us to have that person completely out of our lives, which after a significant, failed emotional involvement, is precisely what is needed.

I understand her doing it out of anger and wanting to take a break from me. But she did a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

It's been six months since she dumped me, and I really doubt that she's still angry at me. But I can't imagine her going out of her way to unblock me.

 

I don't feel that what I did to her was bad enough for her to say, "You may never speak to me again."

[Hoosfoos]

You should have gone strict NC after she dumped you, forgotten about closure, and blocked her yourself. She dumped you; she gave up all rights to be in contact with you and to know whats going on in your life. I had to block my ex, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it has saved me a lot of needless heartache.

[somedude81]

You should have gone strict NC after she dumped you, forgotten about closure, and blocked her yourself. She dumped you; she gave up all rights to be in contact with you and to know whats going on in your life. I had to block my ex, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it has saved me a lot of needless heartache.

 

Yes I know you're right.

 

But she was my first GF and I couldn't do that. This was something I needed to go through.

 

I won't do this again for the second girl.

[Haydn]

she made it pretty clear. You should respect her wishes.

[xxoo]

It's not about what you did. It's about her wanting to move on. You don't have friends in common, so there is really no reason for you to ever talk to each other again.

 

You are her ex, not her responsibility. That doesn't mean she hates you, just that she doesn't want to be your friend. What would be the point? She has friends without all this awkwardness and irritation.

[somedude81]

It's not about what you did. It's about her wanting to move on. You don't have friends in common, so there is really no reason for you to ever talk to each other again.

 

You are her ex, not her responsibility. That doesn't mean she hates you, just that she doesn't want to be your friend. What would be the point? She has friends without all this awkwardness and irritation.

 

While I know it's true. It still hurts.

 

Wanting to completely move on from me and feeling that she never wants to talk to me again. It still feels that I did something very bad to her, I must have to make her want to do that.

 

Maybe someday I'll be in her position of wanting to completely move on from somebody and cut them out of my life. Then possibly, I'll understand why she did what she did.

 

One thing I can admit, it's better to find out that I'm blocked, than to go to her page and see that she has a new boyfriend. That would have made me feel much worse than I am now.

Edited May 29, 2014 by somedude81

[somedude81]

Well that gave me the motivation to finally throw away the huge bag of stuff filled with everything she bought me, that I had kept in a closet for six months.

 

Now I'm deciding if I should throw away the things that I bought when she was with me. These are things that I like and use every day. Though seeing them makes me think of her. Stuff like my curtains, a couch slipcover, my comforter and pillows, the plant in my living room. Hell she was even with me when I bought a new bed because my old one was falling apart.

[MissBee]

It's not about what you did. It's about her wanting to move on. You don't have friends in common, so there is really no reason for you to ever talk to each other again.

 

You are her ex, not her responsibility. That doesn't mean she hates you, just that she doesn't want to be your friend. What would be the point? She has friends without all this awkwardness and irritation.

 

I agree.

 

Blocking someone doesn't mean you "hate" them...but especially if you've broken up and requested space and they didn't give it to you, then blocking is a way to preserve your sanity and have your wishes respected. So I wouldn't internalize it as hatred.

[carhill]

The only thing I did to her, was annoy her by trying to get closure, and trying to get her to explain why she dumped me. Was that enough to garner the same response as if I'd cheated on her with three women?

 

OP, hard to swallow but once a woman disconnects you, you're a zero. Dead. That's OK!

 

Once you kill off a few yourself, you'll understand better why these things go the way they do. You'll feel better about it too. People are, generally, transitory. A few you may get to grieve their deaths, the real, mortal kind. The rest? Part of life!

[somedude81]

OP, hard to swallow but once a woman disconnects you, you're a zero. Dead. That's OK!

 

Once you kill off a few yourself, you'll understand better why these things go the way they do. You'll feel better about it too. People are, generally, transitory. A few you may get to grieve their deaths, the real, mortal kind. The rest? Part of life!

 

Are men the same way? Once the disconnect with a woman she becomes dead and it's as if she never existed?

 

I've never been in a situation where I wanted to disconnect from a woman.

[Haydn]

I am friends with a lot of my ex`s but i did disconnect with others. Simply because they wanted to know why i left. Even when i told them why it just led to another question.

[Always Pondering]

Well that gave me the motivation to finally throw away the huge bag of stuff filled with everything she bought me, that I had kept in a closet for six months.

 

Now I'm deciding if I should throw away the things that I bought when she was with me. These are things that I like and use every day. Though seeing them makes me think of her. Stuff like my curtains, a couch slipcover, my comforter and pillows, the plant in my living room. Hell she was even with me when I bought a new bed because my old one was falling apart.

 

Sorry to hear your story somedude81. If they make you think of her for hours on end or while you're using them and you do not think you'll be able to overcome that then maybe it's time for new curtains and pillows. I have several items from the last woman I was involved with that I use occasionally but because it doesn't bother me in the slightest bit. I mean, for example a set of bowls with my name engraved onto them makes me think "Oh hey, I remember she got me this" but that's about it.

 

OP, hard to swallow but once a woman disconnects you, you're a zero. Dead. That's OK!

 

Once you kill off a few yourself, you'll understand better why these things go the way they do. You'll feel better about it too. People are, generally, transitory. A few you may get to grieve their deaths, the real, mortal kind. The rest? Part of life!

 

This breaks my heart reading this, I have to admit. I suppose hearing that would help OP though.

[carhill]

Are men the same way? Once the disconnect with a woman she becomes dead and it's as if she never existed?

 

I've never been in a situation where I wanted to disconnect from a woman.

From an emotional, invested, standpoint, yes, generally. That's not to say the man won't dip his wick into some willing candle wax but the care and sacrifice and all those things which impel a man to seek relationships and marriage are generally gone.

 

I take it one step further, since I don't have sex with people I don't love, so no sex either. They're one of billions whom don't care about me nor I them. That's OK!

[somedude81]

I am friends with a lot of my ex`s but i did disconnect with others. Simply because they wanted to know why i left. Even when i told them why it just led to another question.

 

Sounds like me.

[carhill]

OP, the best, most accurate line I ever heard from a woman regarding this topic, and I still smile about this, though that probably sounds wrong, was:

 

"Do I have to spell it out for you?"

 

 

Zero.

[Anela]

Are men the same way? Once the disconnect with a woman she becomes dead and it's as if she never existed?

 

I've never been in a situation where I wanted to disconnect from a woman.

 

I don't like the imagery of "killing off" women, or someone referring to them as being dead, but I would want to disconnect from someone, if they felt that way about me. You kept contacting her, after she asked you to leave her alone for a while - she was probably covering all her bases at the time.

 

It hurts when someone doesn't want to talk to you anymore, but that's why you should be doing other things: staying at home alone, only lets the bad feelings stagnate and grow worse - I've been out in the fresh air most of the day, because I've been feeling very sad and worried over someone in my life. Just getting out to the market on Saturday, and the seed store down in Amish country on Tuesday, helped to ease some of that - distractions, projects, the sun and the breeze on your skin. I take my camera, and take pictures of anything and everything. There will be a time when you will feel better about this situation, but the neverending focus isn't allowing you to move on.