JustAGirl Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 Hey guys! I just wanna ask if my jealousy is unreasonable or not... I have already written about this girl "mary" but if u dont remember she's just a friend of me & my bf at university... Today, he stayed for two hours to wait for me cuz my lectures finish later, & i found out - he told me - he spent them with mary, basically tutoring her ... that made me feel like i'd rather him not wait for me if he's gonna spend that time w/ some other girl anyway... they also have another class together, & i know he takes a seat for her every time & they always talk & have fun ... I have made jokes about it.... He has told me a few times that i'm way better than her... He's always talking bout her 'fakeness'... and he alllways tells me about their conversations... I dunna - anything to worry about? Could it be that he's purposely teasing? It's not like I don't spend time with other guys - lots of it, but ... *shrug* am i being unreasonable? I'm just afraid he'll gradually start spending more time w/ her & all... If i do have reasons to worry - how can i fix this? We're in the same program as mary & i know we both are going to have more classes with her. Also, even though i like her, i try not to become close with her cuz i dont like it when she's around us... thoughts? opinions? Thanks!! Link to post Share on other sites
katie Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 It is totally normal for a man and woman to be friends. if he is with you and has no problem showing that he loves you you shouldn't worry. if he is spending more time with her than he is with you, tell him .but don't make a scene or act jealous. tell him you would like to spend more time with him as a couple, that will hint him that "mary" is not to be included. be trusting , he'll love your sense of confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Your feelings are your feelings. But if you don't get over this kind of jealousy, you will lose every guy you ever get. Men want women who are confident. You have to be so confident that you don't care. If your guy finds another girl, that's his problem. You'll find another guy...that's confidence. Fear of loss and rejection is a primitive fear which stems back to early human times when we depended on the acceptance of a small commune for our very survival. Rejection or abandonment of those in the commune meant almost sure death for lack of food, protection, etc. Today, there are lots of people around and while it may be nice to have a person around, there are always more. You certainly don't want a guy who can so easily find someone else. I think your guy loves you and is loyal to you...but, again, I promise you lots of trouble if he finds out how insecure you are. He wouldn't like that a bit. And if you ever found out the same about him, it would instantly turn you off. Start feeling better about yourself and stop being so dependent on his love and attention. If you love yourself enough, all the other love you receive is just frosting on the cake. Link to post Share on other sites
No more games Posted February 9, 2001 Share Posted February 9, 2001 You have major self image problem I think, only somebody who is not comfortable with themselfs would so worried about their boyfreind running away. Go seek some help.. Hey guys! I just wanna ask if my jealousy is unreasonable or not... I have already written about this girl "mary" but if u dont remember she's just a friend of me & my bf at university... Today, he stayed for two hours to wait for me cuz my lectures finish later, & i found out - he told me - he spent them with mary, basically tutoring her ... that made me feel like i'd rather him not wait for me if he's gonna spend that time w/ some other girl anyway... they also have another class together, & i know he takes a seat for her every time & they always talk & have fun ... I have made jokes about it.... He has told me a few times that i'm way better than her... He's always talking bout her 'fakeness'... and he alllways tells me about their conversations... I dunna - anything to worry about? Could it be that he's purposely teasing? It's not like I don't spend time with other guys - lots of it, but ... *shrug* am i being unreasonable? I'm just afraid he'll gradually start spending more time w/ her & all... If i do have reasons to worry - how can i fix this? We're in the same program as mary & i know we both are going to have more classes with her. Also, even though i like her, i try not to become close with her cuz i dont like it when she's around us... thoughts? opinions? Thanks!! Link to post Share on other sites
. Posted February 9, 2001 Share Posted February 9, 2001 Your feelings are your feelings. But if you don't get over this kind of jealousy, you will lose every guy you ever get. Men want women who are confident. You have to be so confident that you don't care. If your guy finds another girl, that's his problem. You'll find another guy...that's confidence. Fear of loss and rejection is a primitive fear which stems back to early human times when we depended on the acceptance of a small commune for our very survival. Rejection or abandonment of those in the commune meant almost sure death for lack of food, protection, etc. Today, there are lots of people around and while it may be nice to have a person around, there are always more. You certainly don't want a guy who can so easily find someone else. I think your guy loves you and is loyal to you...but, again, I promise you lots of trouble if he finds out how insecure you are. He wouldn't like that a bit. And if you ever found out the same about him, it would instantly turn you off. Start feeling better about yourself and stop being so dependent on his love and attention. If you love yourself enough, all the other love you receive is just frosting on the cake. Link to post Share on other sites
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