Been Browsing here for last two days need some encouragement...

[SinceIvebeenlovingU]

Ok here's my story...

My ex and I meet through friends and we stared dating...we spent christmas together and all the holidays we loved each and everything was good...just how it always is for the first three months...then things were moving steady we lived only 5 minutes away from each other so it wasn't as if we were far apart and we were able to see each other everynight after school...we spent our birthdays together in the spring and she went to my senior prom with me...and we didn't go to hers...so she will always remember mine...we stayed together through out the summer and things continued to get worse...she worked all summer and i didn't...so I would basically look for things to do during the day while she was busy...some life...and then I went off to college...While its only about 40 minutes away...she started to come less and less to see me...it made me sad and I longed for her...then our one year anniversary came...and she told me something Ill never forget...that she wasn't sure what she wanted but she didn't want to think about getting married or being tied down to someone so she was scared...Two weeks later is when she broke it off...Two weeks after that she wants us to see if we could work it out...but we both decided that her schedule and life was to hectic to meet my needs...seeing how she could maybe see me once a week...mixed messages flew back and forth as she couldn't decide whether or not she wanted to let me go...until I decided that I take a two week break from seeing or talking to her...NC...that went go til day 14 when i talked to her again...she said to me that she wanted to move on and she was going to start dating again soon...it made me devestated...but now I'm learning to accept it...everyday gets better now and hopefully soon it won't hurt me anymore...I can only hope that I move on happily and content...

 

Well that was my story until January 19th when I just broke down and called her...nothing good came out of it...so I sent her an email saying goodbye...she tryed to im me twice and she emailed me once last week...she even asked my friend how I was doing, I guess she was interested a little but not enough to call me...but she has never tried to contact me through my phone and she always looks at my livejournal to see how i'm doing...because she said she still cares for me she's just not in love with me right now...or is confused...It's been 21 days since I responded to her...and I'm just broken up inside...I have weekly theripst visits...and I'm on a anti depressant....but I can't shake her...I still want her back...I want her to be there for me...To share my days and my life with me...I've been good and haven't looked at her online journal in like 30 days...and haven't talked to her in 21 days...but its really tough...I know i've read that If I don't call her on V-day...she might get more lonely...because the last time I talked to her...she said she didn't have anyone yet...so as far as I know that's how it is...I know to keep NC til then end of time...but she was my first love and I miss her soooo much....thanks for listening...and any advice would be great...

[tanbark813]

Well it's probably not what you want to here, but I think you should really just move on. The vast majority of couples that are together in high school break up by the time they reach college. I'm sure she cares about you in the sense of not wanting to hurt you any more than she has to, but like she said herself, she doesn't want to be tied down.

 

It's only been a couple weeks, so it's not surprising you're still broken up over the whole thing. Just give it a little more time. The pain will slowly but surely fade. In the meantime, go out with friends, workout more, watch movies, blah blah blah... all that good stuff.

 

Besides, bro, you're in college. I'm sure there is ass all around you just ripe for the picking.

[SinceIvebeenlovingU]

Yeah I know what your saying...I'm keeping my distance with the NC...and I know I will get over it...I've been trying to do things with friends...But I'm really antisocial and shy...so I really don't have any friends at college...and just stay in my dorm room...I'm really miserable...thanks for the support though...I have been going to the gym and signed up for some good cause...so atleast those things will make my life a little better...I just miss what I had...her family was sad to see me go too...ah but such is life...anyone else comments?

 

PS...Why does she still want to know what I'm doing and if I'm seeing anybody then...and why does she ask about me...and why does she want to be my friend still...these are things that drive me crazy...we could never acutally be friends...it'd be too weird...

[bluechocolate]

Originally posted by SinceIvebeenlovingU

PS...Why does she still want to know what I'm doing and if I'm seeing anybody then...and why does she ask about me...and why does she want to be my friend still...these are things that drive me crazy...we could never acutally be friends...it'd be too weird...

She wants to be your friend because most people don't want to feel that they're responsible for someone elses misery (and of course she may have actually enjoyed your company as well & will miss the "friendly" aspect of your relationship). Maybe one day you will be able to be friends, but not when your feelings for each other are so out of balance.

[SinceIvebeenlovingU]

That's bs and everything...when we first broke up she was like....can you give me a backrub and she even made a joke that maybe we should be friends with benifits...she's just messed up in the head and that's why things aren't working out...even her friends told her she was stupid...and her mother even asked her if she would go back out with me...Ill just let her sit in her life for awhile....I think ill hear from her again because we share a mutual friend (how we met) and she is a "caring person" thats what she tells me anyways haha...anyways thanks for your post...she really messed with my head for about a month after our relationship...asking me to take her out on three dates after she broke up with me, asking me for hugs and kisses all tthe time...I hate what she did to me...any more advice...i like hearing it all thank you...

[roxy_1980]

People do tend to change when they get to college. You're out on your own for the first time, asserting the real you and sometimes what you figure out what used to be great doesn't quite fit anymore. Your ex-gf seems to be in the middle of this process. That's why she waivers back and forth. She's become an independent person, but longs for the 'good olde days'.

 

As for staying in your dorm room and not being very social. Simple solution: Walk out that door and pick a party flyer, whichever one catches your eye. It's the weekend, so there should be plenty. And then just go. Don't think about it too much or you'll talk yourself out of it. Just go and have a good time. I used to be shy and awkward in college and this techniques works wonders.

[SinceIvebeenlovingU]

Ummm she's in community college...she lives at home...that point is x'd...i'm the one in college away from home...she lives at her home...

[SinceIvebeenlovingU]

Last night I was at a friends house and his gf his friends with my ex and she got a phone call from my ex that killed me...how do u suppose i go about the situation...just not go over there for awhile or what...thanks in advance

[SinceIvebeenlovingU]

any thoughts???

[SinceIvebeenlovingU]

Well today I was avoiding my cell phone all day thinking I would get a call from her...but no luck...its been 24 days of nc...and I can only wonder if she's thinking about me...I wish I didn't wonder if she was...but I do anyways...Sigh...Thanks for the help everyone....

[SinceIvebeenlovingU]

No more responses eh...?...just posting on that behalf...thanks...

[Sckott]

This isn't very easy. In fact, it's some of the hardest stuff to go through.

 

But yes, the sign is very strong. It IS time to move on. It'll just take some getting used to.

 

My ex, I'm SURE misses me, but there's things we cannot change. We both tried.

 

I wish you well.