loving Posted February 7, 2001 Share Posted February 7, 2001 What are the signs that a man loves his girlfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Different guys give different signs. You have to determine for yourself if he loves you by your own feelings when you are around him and how you generally feel about the relationship. Some men, who come from highly dysfunctional families, express their love by yelling at, insulting and beating their women. Other men from more civil home environments show their love with expressions of affection, small gifts, by listening attentively to what you have to say, taking romantic walks and just by spending lots of time with the beloved (you). There are lots of other small ways they show their caring...through cards, surprises, etc. Some men, who are shy, may be madly in love with you but terrified to show it in any way. So you may have to draw it out of them. When a guy feels very secure that you love him back, then over time he starts to take you for granted...so you have to start pouring cold water over his head once in a while to remind him you have feet to walk away. But the best answer I can give you is that you have to answer this one for yourself, depending on the guy. Sometimes, a guy can just do a lot of romantic stuff because he thinks that's what's expected. Or he may feel if he does enough of it he will convince himself he is in love. So if your guy is beating the hell out of you with great sincerity, he may be madly in love with you. Go figure!!! Link to post Share on other sites
David Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 "Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an ordination of character which determines the relatedness of the person to the world as a whole, not towards one object of love. If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to the rest of his fellow men, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism." Erich Fromm Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Excellent quote. I have enjoyed a number of Erich Fromm's books. However, the love which he alludes to in your quote is confusing because he mixes two kinds of love. Romantic love, the love we have for one special person of the opposite sex, and filial love, the love we have for our fellow man are two different kinds of love. I totally disagree with him in the first line, unless he is referring to filial love. Romantic love is very definitely and by nature primarilly a relationship to one person...or the people we are in romantic love with. I think perhaps there is a brief period in romantic love when some people are indifferent to the rest of the world, but they normally grow out of it. And, yes, some romantic love my be a symbiotic attachment or an enlarged egotism but who are we to judge that. Love is to each person what it is for them, a personal thing, and not for Erich or anyone else to judge. Like everything else in the world, no love is perfect. And love does not have prerequisites for why it should be experienced or under what circumstances, although many are far more ideal than others. While Erich Fromm and many others have written about love, frankly I don't think anyone is completely qualified to be its critic or to define its nature for each individual. Love is something that is fashioned by each person for himself because love exists to serve, to be experienced, to be given, to be shared and not to be defined. Love has many languages and many definitions. Link to post Share on other sites
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