unique2 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 So, I'm just going to say it. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. If what they say is true, that the common denominator in recurring rejections is you, then there is obviously something wrong, but I don't see it. Maybe it really is my standards? I know I have defended them whenever the issue got brought up. Perhaps one of you maybe see something I don't. Needs: Sense of humor. Maturity. No children. Physically active. None of that party till you pass out business. Wants/preferences: body type: slender, fit, athletic (I tend to picture athletic to be slightly more built than fit), voluptuous (can't say curvy anymore), or average (healthy weight, like not-so fit or a little thick). sports, any interest in martial arts, stuff like that. Certainly would not mind a move-buddy. I did recently get a date with a really cool lady who nearly met all of the above. I guess she was more attracted to me when I was texting her, but not in person? Can't quite figure that out. That was one of two dates, TOTAL in my life so far. I have been on just about every dating site there is and it's tough for me to message more than a couple profiles. Just hard to find one that I like, and nearly all of the, ignore me (though sometimes I forget to check the recently active stat so some of them could be dead profiles). Not much better in real life. I rarely hit up bars, unless for lunch sometimes, and it's kinda hard to tell if a waitress likes you or is just friendly. Other than that it's the movie theater or my martial arts private lesson. I also work overnights so I never see anyone there. The few women I do see there (other than my elderly co-workers) are usually young college ladies getting stupid and just going nuts. HELP? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/red/icons/icon9.gif Link to post Share on other sites
Philosopher Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 I think you need to broaden your horizons and look for dates from sources other than just from online dating and the occasional trip to a bar. Since it sounds like you are quite into your martial arts, have you thought about joining martial arts classes. You may find someone who both you really like and really likes you there . Link to post Share on other sites
Author unique2 Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 Yeah, I'm definitely into my martial arts. I've taken a few public classes there and sadly there aren't any girls into kung fu, it's not exactly a well known place either. I have been contemplating going back to dance, but there's a lot of personal crap to deal with there. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 It's like that for everyone trying to find the one. It doesn't work till it does. You can throw your grocery list out the window and do this with your gut. You love or you don't. In pretty much every city they have meetup groups for singles. Try a few of those. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author unique2 Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 I did express interest in those Match.com stir event but they never list anything in my area. I don't really know of any other meetup events or groups. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 First of all get rid of the list. You're treating dating like you're ordering food and picking your favorites. Clearly it isn't working. Give others a chance. This perfect woman who you've created in your head when you do find her online she will have MANY options and chances are slim that you'd be one. This perfect woman's list probably requires you being a CEO with a high 6 figure salary 5 bedroom home with a Caribbean vacation villa. See how stupid lists are? Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 I agree with above. You mention you are into sports, are there any coed teams you could join for the summer? Link to post Share on other sites
Leeway Harris Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 This perfect woman's list probably requires you being a CEO with a high 6 figure salary 5 bedroom home with a Caribbean vacation villa. See how stupid lists are? Do you really think this list is equivalent to the OP's? Do you really think his list is that unreasonable? Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 Do you really think this list is equivalent to the OP's? Do you really think his list is that unreasonable? Lists period are stupid. That was the point. What seems reasonable to one person is not to another and you end up missing out because a person doesn't check off all your boxes. He's only after people who fit his requirements meanwhile he could be passing over a wonderful match who gasp doesn't give a flying fig about martial arts but she may be the most caring, loving, fun, loyal and overall beautiful person he has ever met. His list is limiting meeting her. The list like I said is clearly NOT working. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unique2 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 Martial arts was just a want, hell I hardly even care. The needs are met first, wants are just bonus point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unique2 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 Although, I should had simply called them preferences rather than wants. It would be fun to date a fellow martial artist, but you're not disqualified if you don't know any. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unique2 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 Also, I'm not sure I see your point Happylove. As mentioned I had a date with someone who didn't "check all the boxes" as you say it, but she was really fun to be around. What you listed there was from WANTS, not from NEEDS. Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 I think it's good to keep a list of needs and wants, doesn't mean you have to follow it. I also thought that your list was reasonable, you even have a few different body types listed. I think it's fair. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 " I have been on just about every dating site there is and it's tough for me to message more than a couple profiles. Just hard to find one that I like, and nearly all of the, ignore me" Your list is holding you back. You are only messaging a couple people and not meeting much out IRL. I guess we'll just agree to disagree and you can keep doing what your doing. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 " I have been on just about every dating site there is and it's tough for me to message more than a couple profiles. Just hard to find one that I like, and nearly all of the, ignore me" Your list is holding you back. You are only messaging a couple people and not meeting much out IRL. I guess we'll just agree to disagree and you can keep doing what your doing. Good luck! But he's basically asking for someone who isn't obese, and likes physical activity. He even listed every body type but obese as ok. Is he to have zero standards at all? If he's an active guy he's not going to be compatible with a couch potato so that just makes sense. The one need that could be hindering him is the no children one, depending on his age, the older he is the less women he'll find with none. So I will agree on that. His list may be the most realistic one I have ever seen to be honest. They are usually super unrealistic. This isn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author unique2 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 Will my no children need become a hinderance as I near 30? Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 No, I think you are ok. Just it will get harder and harder to get that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unique2 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 I'm currently 27. Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 I'm currently 27. No, you're fine. Especially since men usually date younger. When I mentioned it could be a hindrance I did not know your age. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unique2 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 Ok. Oh I forgot to mention that I usually pass on matches more than an hour away. I tried it out a few times. 2 just suddenly ignored me when I was confirming the dates, and one bailed out at the last minute. Good thing I didn't leave yet. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author unique2 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 Actually I don't like dating younger. I tend to look for my age to 3 years older. They have more of the personalities I like. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unique2 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 Before it was simply getting rejected. Now I'm having a hell of a time finding women TO reject me. Lol. Okcupid just sends me the same matches over and over again meanwhile Eharmony keeps sending me matches from Canada. Don't ask. Lol. Maybe I'm just not supposed to look right now. Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 Um, it's obviously our Canadian awesome... Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 That's a good point about the classes. I hadn't thought about that. I took an Italian course in the evening before just for fun and there were all kinds of people there, some needed it for work and some fun people that wanted to travel. Some of us would go out for a drink after. I think I should do that again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unique2 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 I think I see the problem now. My life is kinda in transition so to speak. I actually have already gone to college, but it was for motorcycles, and there weren't too many women there. Unfortunately I had an accident during the training course and I just can't get back on one. I could ride in the back and fix them, but I cant ride them myself. So now I'm stuck working at Walmart until I decide what to do with my life. The good news is I'm almost debt free so I have some freedom. Also got some inheritance in a savings count. Going back to college would be smart but I don't know what to go for. Well, I guess I know what's wrong now. Im not quite ready yet. Link to post Share on other sites
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