MattsMom Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 In December, I signed up with an internet dating service. A week or so ago, I approached (on line) a guy who had very similar interests to mine etc. we started emailing, and then a few days ago we spoke on the phone for the first time. Gosh, it was like we had known each other forever. We have so much in common, and have the same beliefs in so many areas. After 3 hours the battery on my phone went flat (I was so bummed), so I waited for it to charge, then called back – we talked for another hour. We agreed to meet in person, which we did. Here is my thing. I got a bit of a surprise when I met him, because he is huge – both in height and width. So – within a few minutes, I got over that, and we had a wonderful time – I really enjoyed his company, and could have talked for many more hours I am sure if work didn’t call. As soon as I could, I emailed him, and we agreed to meet again for lunch, and also have dinner plans for next week sometime – which I am very much looking forward to. I know I am jumping the gun here – but I like this guy… only thing is – and I might already know the answer – when my imagination travels to the bedroom – physically, lets just say, he isn’t what I am usually attracted to. Now, my logical mind says that if things are meant to be between us, that the bedroom issue and physical attraction will naturally become a non-issue – but as I have had no experience with that – I really don’t have any idea – any thoughts??? Link to post Share on other sites
Junie408 Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Hmm, my excperience in this situation is not much, but I have a friend whom most wouldn't consider on a whole the epitome of attractiveness; yet he's had many girlfriends and I once was attracted to him, too. This is because he was so incredibly smart, charming, witty, and really knows how to get along with women. We've not dated and probably never will (I have feelings for another person invested elsewhere, heh) but I have to admit in the face of someone you get along so well with it seems easy to let go of that. It was for me, anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 I think since you have such an amazing connection with him emotionally and mentally....within time his "physical appearance" will grow on you! I mean I know that physical attraction is important on some levels but hey if he's a great guy and takes care of himself and isn't "scummy" or anything...then I say give it a chance (which it sounds like you are)...let things progress naturally...who knows he may be the best bedroom buddy you'll ever have! Physical size/weight isn't always a hinderance in the bedroom! Link to post Share on other sites
sierra2 Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 You could be great friends, but if you ignore your instincts, the lack of attraction will eventualy lead to trouble for you and heartbreak for him. Do the guy, and yourself, a favor by being honest.... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by MattsMom Now, my logical mind says that if things are meant to be between us, that the bedroom issue and physical attraction will naturally become a non-issue – but as I have had no experience with that – I really don’t have any idea – any thoughts??? yes, i have thoughts MATTSMOM. if you are not physically attracted then forget it cause NUTHING is gonna happen. the only things that seperate friends from lovers is physical attraction and sex. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Some people don't believe attraction can develop. Those of us who have had it happen can attest that a person's personality can make him powerfully attractive. It's just that sometimes it takes a while to discover all the treasure that a person can be. But when you do - KAPOW! There isn't only one sort of attraction. Yes, there's the 'instant electricity' sort. However, most people who've had more than one partner can likely attest to the fact that that kind of attraction can be completely unrelated to whether or not you're compatible with each other. Then there's the passion that comes from love and deep connection. And once you've tried door B, door A seems boring and pointless. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MattsMom Posted February 12, 2005 Author Share Posted February 12, 2005 So it is the day after I posted the original thread - yesterday was the day we officially me - and we had another nearly 3 hour conversation last night. When I was driving home last night - I wondered if the reason I found these feelings so foreign is that in the past, the first thing that has attracted me to a guy has been the physical - because I have always met them before I started to get to know them. In this case, I started to get to know him, and started to connect with the person before I ever saw the body... at the end of lunch we hugged - and it did feel nice. We are going to meet for lunch early next week, and dinner on Wednesday... and I am REALLY looking forward to it. I think it would be wrong of me to jump into bed under false pretences, however, I have decided that I am going to explore this... I think I have things reversed to what I have been used to - i.e attracted to the physical before I know the mental - and in this case it is reversed. I tend not to think that I would be looking forward to seeing him again next week if there wasn't attraction...and this may just be attraction at a less superficial level than I have experienced previously. Maybe - just maybe - I am falling for the person, for who he really is? I wish next week wasn't so far away! LOL Thanks! Matts Mom Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Maybe - just maybe - I am falling for the person, for who he really is? How 'bout that? Attraction is literally all in your mind. Sure, there are pheremones, but they don't always grab you right off the bat. It will be interesting to hear how the first kisses go Link to post Share on other sites
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