Struggling with a major decision

[Bigcitydreamer]

Hey guys, I'm hoping to get some feedback from people who have been in a similar situation or just some advice in general if you have any. I am having a major problem committing myself to school. I am enrolled in an accelerated bachelor of nursing program for people who already hold degrees and I struggle every day with remaining in the program for many reasons.

 

The reasons I haven't dropped out are: I remember how bad I wanted to get into this program before I actually got in, I do enjoy learning about nursing, so far I enjoy the work for the most part, I have a tendency that I always perceive the grass to be greener so I am aware this might be happening now, and I fear that I will regret not finishing this because if I quit it is a huge decision that will affect the rest of my life.

 

But I can't just happy and thankful about this opportunity. I am living in an area that I really don't like and can't wait to get out of. I didn't despise my previous line of work which was accounting and I'm literally broke and busy all of the time and I'm 26 years old and I just feel like I am sacrificing so much by taking this path. I wonder so much if I should just quit and move to where I want to be and take a job in accounting and increase my skills in that area. I'd be way better off financially, I'd be able to spend time doing stuff besides studying, I'd get to save for a vacation and go out on weekends. I feel like I already did my time and this is just the worst torture ever.

 

When I got into the program I was in a long term relationship but I broke up with him 6 months ago when I realized that we were a horrible match with completely different goals in life. So by breaking up with him I moved out and took out student loans which is another twist of the knife because I never wanted to have to take out loans for school because my parents were willing to pay for my education but they are not willing to pay for 2 bachelors.

 

This causes me a lot of stress because I am unhappy at where I am in life right now. Broke, extremely busy, and in a super small town when I just want to get out of here. I'm worried that I am sacrificing my best years for another bachelors degree. Do I like nursing? Yes I do but I wish I did it years ago but I chose something else that I didn't dislike either.

 

So as you can see I'm in a difficult spot and every day is like a chore for me. I'm so confused about what I want. Has anyone been in this situation or know someone who has? If so what did you do and what was the outcome? Thanks in advance for any advice.

[Potz4prez]

So as you can see I'm in a difficult spot and every day is like a chore for me. I'm so confused about what I want. Has anyone been in this situation or know someone who has? If so what did you do and what was the outcome? Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

Yep. I'm in chem grad school (highest suicide rate by PhD specialty if I recall correctly). Just finished my first year (the worst year) and every day I ask myself "Why am I doing this to myself?" - Being poor and overworked, I am constantly day dreaming about what else I could be doing with my life. HOWEVER, at the end of it all, when I'm relaxed with a beer in my hand, I can honestly say that I am happy where I am right now.

 

Have a beer, and ask yourself if it's worth it. Hopefully you can be honest with yourself. If you answer yes, all the better

 

As far as location goes, I spent my undergrad in the worst city in Ohio, which is the worst state in the Union. You can make due with wherever you're living. Just make your own fun and count down the months till you get out religiously Think of all the places a nursing degree could take you.

 

Best of luck

[spiderowl]

How far are you into this degree? How long have you got to go? Why did you want to do it in the first place? There must have been a compelling reason then.

 

Having dropped out of a professional course myself (teaching) many years ago, I do regret not sticking it out. I had good reasons then, and probably wouldn't have done any differently, but I wish I'd got that qualification. I'd have more choice now and probably a better salary.

 

Find a social life that you can enjoy to support you in this enterprise. There are sometimes clubs that don't cost much, if anything, - music for example. It does help to feel there is something else to life as well as the course.

[Bigcitydreamer]

Yep. I'm in chem grad school (highest suicide rate by PhD specialty if I recall correctly). Just finished my first year (the worst year) and every day I ask myself "Why am I doing this to myself?" - Being poor and overworked, I am constantly day dreaming about what else I could be doing with my life. HOWEVER, at the end of it all, when I'm relaxed with a beer in my hand, I can honestly say that I am happy where I am right now.

 

Have a beer, and ask yourself if it's worth it. Hopefully you can be honest with yourself. If you answer yes, all the better

 

As far as location goes, I spent my undergrad in the worst city in Ohio, which is the worst state in the Union. You can make due with wherever you're living. Just make your own fun and count down the months till you get out religiously Think of all the places a nursing degree could take you.

 

Best of luck

 

Thank you so much for the extremely good advice. It really helps to know that I'm not the only one who spends my time day dreaming about the cool stuff I should be doing instead of studying for the 20th day in a row. The beer idea is actually a good one. I think I will try it.

 

Chemistry is very interesting, my sister is doing grad school in biochem but she is able to pursue her goal without faltering or doubting herself. Makes me wonder if I'm fighting my natural wishes and that's to basically travel the world and see new things. I guess I'm hoping that's what nursing will bring, just sucks being at your prime yet so tied down.

 

Thanks again for your advice, it was definitely helpful!

[Bigcitydreamer]

How far are you into this degree? How long have you got to go? Why did you want to do it in the first place? There must have been a compelling reason then.

 

Having dropped out of a professional course myself (teaching) many years ago, I do regret not sticking it out. I had good reasons then, and probably wouldn't have done any differently, but I wish I'd got that qualification. I'd have more choice now and probably a better salary.

 

Find a social life that you can enjoy to support you in this enterprise. There are sometimes clubs that don't cost much, if anything, - music for example. It does help to feel there is something else to life as well as the course.

 

9 month in and have a year and 3 months to go. So that's still a bit away but not that long. There was quite a few reasons I wanted to do nursing such as I wasn't feeling overly strong about accounting and I wanted a job where I could learn about medicine and health. I enjoyed the idea of the fast pace environment and was interested in performing skills like administering chemotherapy or working in the OR. I also thought it could give me better job security and a better life. I haven't seen any of those benefits yet though so that's probably why I find it so difficult. It's a ridiculous amount of work and I have no time to do anything. If I got asked on a date there is a serious chance I'd have to turn it down because I am that busy. So sacrificing my time and money and mid 20s to do this when I could be living the lifestyle I see when I close my eyes.

 

Thank you for the great advice also, I'm glad I came here to ask my question. I got some solid advice from people who have perspective on this situation.

[Potz4prez]

Thank you so much for the extremely good advice. It really helps to know that I'm not the only one who spends my time day dreaming about the cool stuff I should be doing instead of studying for the 20th day in a row. The beer idea is actually a good one. I think I will try it.

 

Chemistry is very interesting, my sister is doing grad school in biochem but she is able to pursue her goal without faltering or doubting herself. Makes me wonder if I'm fighting my natural wishes and that's to basically travel the world and see new things. I guess I'm hoping that's what nursing will bring, just sucks being at your prime yet so tied down.

 

Thanks again for your advice, it was definitely helpful!

 

Yepppp. I just got done studying for a month straight. Now I'm confronted with the crisis of what to do with my free time

 

I feel the same way!!! I'm always wondering if my natural path in life is not the one I'm taking. I'm drawn towards traveling more than anything else I can think of. Maybe I should have taken a job in Africa... or maybe I should just get a one way ticket to another country and slum it out. Only time will tell, and I like to assume the right path will be whichever we eventually take. I can always drop out... or even get my PhD and do nothing with it My main drive now is using my degree to travel, just like you.

 

Don't let school rule your life. Never sacrifice your emotional well-being or your health. It takes more planning now, but keep your social life vibrant. A happy mind gets the best grades

[dichotomy]

You were in accounting - did you have a degree in accounting? It is a very stable profession, not to stressful, decent hours.

 

Nursing is a very in demand, and also secure field, but depending on what type of nursing it can be stressful and hard work. Have you taken the time to talk to experienced nurses in the area of specialization you want? I think talking to folks who have been doing it a while maybe helpful.

[pink_sugar]

You were in accounting - did you have a degree in accounting? It is a very stable profession, not to stressful, decent hours.

 

Nursing is a very in demand, and also secure field, but depending on what type of nursing it can be stressful and hard work. Have you taken the time to talk to experienced nurses in the area of specialization you want? I think talking to folks who have been doing it a while maybe helpful.

 

This. OP, you need to make a list of pros and cons to staying in the program vs. moving away and furthering yourself in accounting. One thing you would need to especially consider is how close are you to finishing the program? If you took out student loans, you would be spending money for nothing if you dropped out of the program when you were close to finishing. If you just started, you can cut the loss, but if you are close to finishing, make the money worth it and tough it out. I was studying nursing for awhile and realized it wasn't for me. It can be very stressful, sometimes you can be working 10-16 hour days. But it's also very lucrative and great benefits. Accounting also pays well, but has more of a 9-5 schedule and wouldn't be as high stress.

[Bigcitydreamer]

Yepppp. I just got done studying for a month straight. Now I'm confronted with the crisis of what to do with my free time

 

I feel the same way!!! I'm always wondering if my natural path in life is not the one I'm taking. I'm drawn towards traveling more than anything else I can think of. Maybe I should have taken a job in Africa... or maybe I should just get a one way ticket to another country and slum it out. Only time will tell, and I like to assume the right path will be whichever we eventually take. I can always drop out... or even get my PhD and do nothing with it My main drive now is using my degree to travel, just like you.

 

Don't let school rule your life. Never sacrifice your emotional well-being or your health. It takes more planning now, but keep your social life vibrant. A happy mind gets the best grades

 

It's weird because not everyone feels this way about travelling. A lot of people can take it or leave it but for me it's definitely high on my priority list. If I stick this out, then the minute I'm done school I'm outta here.

 

I wish I could have a social life and that is half the problem. I have a lot of friends where I am but I honestly don't have the time to be doing anything. I have a list the length of my arm of projects due each week and if I don't spend my weekends and evenings working on them I can't get them done. Fast track is intense in that regard. Nursing is hard, but doing it in 2 years requires serious sacrifice. I work part time in the evenings and I just can't give that up so my time is very limited. One of my good friends is getting married this summer out of town. The location is about 5 hours from where I am so I will have to make a trip out of it and get a hotel for a night. Even this worries me because it is very likely that as soon as I get back from the wedding I will have go to the hospital to work on projects due that week. It blows.

[Bigcitydreamer]

You were in accounting - did you have a degree in accounting? It is a very stable profession, not to stressful, decent hours.

 

Nursing is a very in demand, and also secure field, but depending on what type of nursing it can be stressful and hard work. Have you taken the time to talk to experienced nurses in the area of specialization you want? I think talking to folks who have been doing it a while maybe helpful.

 

I did a bachelors degree in business admin and work as an accountant for a couple of different companies. The wages for accountants these days are actually surprisingly low. I remember when I was on a work term my boss said to me "if you are in this for the money, wrong profession". I thought she was exaggerating but she wasn't. She was a CA and worked for a public accounting firm. You can find a job in accounting pretty easily but the wages are seriously not cracked up to be what you think they would be. There was pressure to go back to school to get my designation and if I didn't get into nursing I would have probably done so.

 

A lot of my friends are nurses. It's a common career choice in my area. None of them regret it and when I feel like dropping out I go to them and they encourage me to keep going promising I won't regret it. But it's still not an easy decision for me.

[pteromom]

I would stick it out. A year and three months isn't that long. Start making plans for when you are done.

 

Also, make the most of any time you have off. Make your life full of mini-adventures, even if it is taking a different way home, or trying coffee from a different shop.

 

You won't regret this when you are done. It's hard now, but then you are going to be so proud of yourself for seeing it through. And you'll have a career full of meaning and purpose.

[Bigcitydreamer]

This. OP, you need to make a list of pros and cons to staying in the program vs. moving away and furthering yourself in accounting. One thing you would need to especially consider is how close are you to finishing the program? If you took out student loans, you would be spending money for nothing if you dropped out of the program when you were close to finishing. If you just started, you can cut the loss, but if you are close to finishing, make the money worth it and tough it out. I was studying nursing for awhile and realized it wasn't for me. It can be very stressful, sometimes you can be working 10-16 hour days. But it's also very lucrative and great benefits. Accounting also pays well, but has more of a 9-5 schedule and wouldn't be as high stress.

 

A list might be helpful but I find it hard to determine which pros and cons are the most important. For example a pro of staying in nursing is that I'll be able to make more money quicker than if I were to quit. A pro for quitting would be I could stop taking out loans and start making money now and focus on other areas rather than school.

 

Before doing nursing I had no student loans and that was good because I didn't have to work to pay off debt. Now I'm 15g in debt and will have to take out another 15g. Nursing is costing me 30g in loans which makes me so sad. I feel this decision is so big. I'm not one for starting something and not finishing. I'm too scared of regret. I wish I had a more carefree attitude. I think that would make my decision way easier.

[SkyLex]

hi bigcitydreamer.. the way i see it i think you really love nursing..it's what you have dreamed of. and now you're on way to achieving it, so don't quit.. remember diamonds need abrasive polishing before they shine.. so don't mind undergoing such trouble now, because your future will be way much better and that's for sure.. its always better to chase your dreams than regret it your entire life. keep moving bigcitydreamer!

[Els]

Hi, OP.

 

I started over with my second degree at 25, so I can understand your dilemma. In my case I suppose it was more cut and dry - I was incredibly miserable working in the field I was in before that, so I had a lot more determination to make the second degree work.

 

I won't lie - it was a crazy experience. I don't know what yours is like, but due to financial constraints, I took the most fast-track route I could possibly do in my 2nd degree. Basically, because I had a previous degree, I was allowed to graduate with a second if I could pass all the final-year courses... so I jumped right into them without taking the usual prereqs. I had no previous experience in the 2nd field and it was completely unrelated to my 1st degree, and at first glance all of the final-year stuff looked like complete gibberish to me. But, after heaps of all-nighters and some greying of hairs, I managed it. It's been over a year since I graduated from that, and I'm happier than ever.

 

Personally I don't think you should worry about 'sacrificing your best years' doing another degree. Rather, think of where you'd want to be in 5 years or 10. Do you see yourself being happy as an accountant if you pass up this opportunity? Worry more about the rest of your life rather than hypothetical 'best years' IMO.

Edited June 3, 2014 by Elswyth

[MidwestUSA]

I encourage you to push thru and get the BSN. I have dual degrees in Chemistry and Nursing. I'll always work. Accounting is such a different ball game, but with that under your belt, if you get tired with one, you can hop back to the other.

 

There's some real grunt work in nursing, but also fascinating stuff. I worked in surgery for twelve years. Loved it.

 

 

Try to stick it out. I have a feeling you'll regret it later if you don't. Good luck!

[Better]

Yes, in the grand scheme of things 15 months, and even $30k, is a drop in the bucket compared to the benefits.

 

I didn't have many prospects when I graduated from high school due to my inattentiveness in school, so I went into the military. I learned a lot of valuable skills there and was able to use the GI bill to pay for my undergraduate degree when I got out of the service. I then went on to pick up a masters degree and have had a great career. During the six years I was going to school, I picked up a lot of debt above and beyond what the military was paying, but it was absolutely worth it in the long run because I was making enough to cover the additional loan costs above what I would be making without the degrees.

 

At 40, I went back to school for a second masters and am now working on a Ph.D. I'm fortunate that I don't have to take out any loans for the program, but it's definitely put a dent in my disposable income. Still, I wouldn't change it for the world.

 

The extra flexibility of having the degrees is worth it, especially if you want to travel or move between cities. It opens up a lot of options that wouldn't be available to you without then. Stick around, do the hard work, and reap the benefits later.

[Bigcitydreamer]

Wow thanks for all of the wonderful advice guys! it is very appreciated!

 

Elswyth, do you mind if I ask what degrees you have? I'm interested because you seem like a very intelligent girl

 

Thank you for piping in MidwestUSA. It's awesome hearing from a nurse who enjoys the work.

 

And thanks to the others for the encouragement. Everything all of you say is the reason I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm hoping for payoff later. Sacrificing sucks though haha I hope the next year will fly by for me.

[Ruby Slippers]

I agree that you should stick with it. You're almost halfway done! If you quit now, you'll have nothing tangible to show for these 9 months so far.

 

Good nurses are very in demand, demand will only rise with the aging population, and you shouldn't have any problem finding well-paid positions. And with your dual degrees in accounting and nursing, you strongly increase your chances of getting some really cool and good-paying positions that require both medical and financial expertise.

 

Find ways to make the copious studying more bearable. Try different environments - outside, different libraries. One of my favorite ways to study in college was to meet up with a friend at my favorite coffee shop, get a picnic table outside, and study together for hours. Sometimes we'd get there around noon and still be there past 10 pm. We got a lot done, and it was fun.

[FitChick]

Nurses can work almost anywhere in the world.

[Els]

Glad to hear you're sticking with it, OP! The crappy situation will be temporary, I promise you. Nurses are one of the few professions that almost never have trouble finding employment, AFAIK. I don't think you can necessarily 'work anywhere in the world' easily, because you'd need registration and those aren't always transferable (I think there is no direct transfer for USA and UK nurses for instance, they would need to undergo training again from what I've heard). But you should definitely have no problems getting a good job in your own country.

 

Elswyth, do you mind if I ask what degrees you have? I'm interested because you seem like a very intelligent girl

 

Aww, thank you. The second degree was software engineering. Apologies, I don't usually talk about the first one (it's quite identifiable in combination), but I can PM if you're interested.

Edited June 5, 2014 by Elswyth

[Bigcitydreamer]

Glad to hear you're sticking with it, OP! The crappy situation will be temporary, I promise you. Nurses are one of the few professions that almost never have trouble finding employment, AFAIK. I don't think you can necessarily 'work anywhere in the world' easily, because you'd need registration and those aren't always transferable (I think there is no direct transfer for USA and UK nurses for instance, they would need to undergo training again from what I've heard). But you should definitely have no problems getting a good job in your own country.

 

 

 

Aww, thank you. The second degree was software engineering. Apologies, I don't usually talk about the first one (it's quite identifiable in combination), but I can PM if you're interested.

 

Software engineering, that's really cool! I totally get the not wanting to be identified thing so that's ok

 

Yeah I think I'll stick it out, in the grand scheme of things it's not a ridiculous amount of time until I'm done. I don't want to regret my decision later on because once your out of this program you can't get back in. I plan on saving as much money as I can so that as soon as I'm done school I can go where I want to