How do OW deal with Valentine's Day?

[MsMree]

True this should not be a catfight - i apologize if it appears that way -

 

Having Rough Day

[lynnered]

sweet bubbles this is going to be a long one!!sorry!

not a flame ,a discussion resulting from differnt points of views ,

"I know my role in my MM's life. It is to provide physical satisfaction to him".how empowering,i see the indepence ozzing from you.?

" IT IS ABOUT SEX......I really don't care how many times he says he loves you - it's about sex. For men? There are many different levels of sex for them. There is a huge difference between sex with love and loveless sex (physical sex)."

my problem with you is not every siltation is like yours,mine was not,there are others that are not &you not being able to get that is what irritates me .

 

 

decide whether you want to kiss me or kick me o.k.? i want to slap you!lol

What do you want to learn......to face up to reality?

to not become narrow minded &bitter when i get your age ,

i am not with mm anymore i broke it off so i come here for support &to talk to those in similar (SINCE EVERY SITUATION IS NOT LIKE YOUR or even mine) situations .

i don't let myself be controlled by any d***,parade is fine i have my own home ,car,secure job, i lean on no one .

[lynnered]

I am not the one pretending anything. Life is NOT a movie. 99.999% of the MM out there having affairs would agree with ME. They will not leave. If you leave them? They will replace you in a heart-beat......don't kid yourselves.

 

i would like to know where your statics come from ?you sound like a man hater

"You know something else? there a lot of OW out there who have NO expectations."

why don't you post wherever they chat then?(just kidding)

 

I view myself as a very independent woman. I will not be fooled and I will never again be fooled.

so your not a fool catering &making a job pleasing a man who you say is just using you for @ss?i think your a fool 2xs ,for believing the bull that comes out of your own mouth.

"And the reason why I have'nt found an available man is because I NO LONGER want to have a "permanent" b/friend in my life. I have given up a long time ago. I am a divorced single mom. I spent 17 years of my life doing everything for a "man" cooking, cleaning, child birth......everything!!! and for what? To be IGNORED! My emotions were ignored, my body was ignored and my heart was ignored!"

so now if you say there's no love in mm/ow situations, the only thing your getting taken care of right now is your body,if you were so indepentit i would hope you learned from 17 years of going without, you'd get that taken care of.

 

sorry to go a little with you but again ,my whole thing with you is your not getting is all situationsmm/ow are not just about sex ,there not all black or white ,just because thats how you feel does not mean thats how my situation was ,or anybody elses here,.i feel even sorrier for you to have been through so much in life and not have more understanding for others you sound so narrow minded ,i know your trying to be helpful ,but you come across as someone whos not being helpful at all.

and dont take this all so personall ,remember its just a discussion.

still wish you luck

[Bubbles]

lynnered,

 

"you sound like a man hater"

"i think your a fool 2xs er"

"the bull that comes out of your own mouth".

"you sound so narrow minded"

 

How be I call you a few names now? How about stubborn. How about abbrasive. How about dominating bitch. Does that make you feel better? Good......because your words did'nt make me feel very good either!

 

I did not intend on making this a cat-fight. I would rather come off like a head-strong bitch than lay down and die! I guess it's easier to call me names than to realize that IF these women did not fall in love and dream up the fantasy of the MM leaving his W........... I guess it would be much better to pat the back of their hands and tell them that it's going to be alright.......I suppose that would be better?

 

Face the truth......face the facts.......the MM will NEVER be able to spend time with us on those special days so stop hurting over it - that will be the cure to your sorrow. If you don't EXPECT it then it does'nt hurt when it does'nt happen.

 

bubbles

 

And by the way.......I spent my Valentines day with my best friend and two other single girlfriends....We had a BOO Valentines Day Dinner! It was great!

[lynnered]

How be I call you a few names now? How about stubborn. How about abbrasive. How about dominating bitch. Does that make you feel better? Good......because your words did'nt make me feel very good either!

you made me laugh!!

I guess it would be much better to pat the back of their hands and tell them that it's going to be alright.......I suppose that would be better?

maybe but,you telling someone who knew mm loved them ,your just a piece of ass?not trying to see ,OK maybe he's not going to leave ,but there's other reasons,some mm want to leave don't have the strength ,but to generalize since bubbles, doesn't feel her mm cares he just screws her that must be what's going on with every mm/ow situation ?

someone's feeling down here comes bubbles, well your job is to please him thats it, thats all to your situation,you are nothing, its not always like that

thats your truth not everybody's every situation is different

I did not intend on making this a cat-fight.

it wasn't i didn't take any offense& you haven't even see me be abrasive or a bitch i was being nice!!

maybe some may appricate your advise some may not

.(i wont speak for every situation and make my opions"the way it is")

and from your profile say anything it don't bother me this is again just a discussion exchanging views ,dont take it so seriously

[1Yoyo]

Originally posted by joodee

I want to pose this question to all who read this forum: how are you dealing with Valentines Day, or Weekend, if you follow all the promotions for this day?

 

 

As a rule, I hate this day..I refer to it as [color=red]BahHumBug Day[/color]. On this day, I am usually single and or alone. I spent my day at work which is normal, but my MM decided to drive about about 1 1/2 hours to take me to a cozy kinda expensive lunch. He brought me a dozen red roses and a balloon. I was very pleased to see him. It made my day. He spent his evening with his parents and family. I dont know that he did anything for his wife and Im not sure that I want to know.

 

I don't expect him to leave his wife/kids. It is important to him to be there for his kids and I respect that. I am gathering the strength daily, to leave this relationship. Eventually, I will end it. I Love him very much, but I will not wait forever nor should I have to.

 

 

Yo

[BoatingBabe]

The only gift I got today was from the MM, that I'm not even involved with.

Then I went home and soaked in a bubble bath with a martini and soft music and candles...

I then went on eharmony.com and decided to join up...

[lynnered]

Originally posted by 1Yoyo

Originally posted by joodee

I want to pose this question to all who read this forum: how are you dealing with Valentines Day, or Weekend, if you follow all the promotions for this day?

 

 

As a rule, I hate this day..I refer to it as [color=red]BahHumBug Day[/color]. On this day, I am usually single and or alone. I spent my day at work which is normal, but my MM decided to drive about about 1 1/2 hours to take me to a cozy kinda expensive lunch. He brought me a dozen red roses and a balloon. I was very pleased to see him. It made my day. He spent his evening with his parents and family. I dont know that he did anything for his wife and Im not sure that I want to know.

 

I don't expect him to leave his wife/kids. It is important to him to be there for his kids and I respect that. I am gathering the strength daily, to leave this relationship. Eventually, I will end it. I Love him very much, but I will not wait forever nor should I have to.

 

 

Yo

i don't know why your reply just made me smile, it was really sweet,I'm glad he was so nice i guess him making your day made mine!!!

[Leaf]

Whoa.. glad I missed this.

[erika2610]

Originally posted by Bubbles

lynnered,

 

"you sound like a man hater"

"i think your a fool 2xs er"

"the bull that comes out of your own mouth".

"you sound so narrow minded"

 

How be I call you a few names now? How about stubborn. How about abbrasive. How about dominating bitch. Does that make you feel better? Good......because your words did'nt make me feel very good either!

 

I did not intend on making this a cat-fight. I would rather come off like a head-strong bitch than lay down and die! I guess it's easier to call me names than to realize that IF these women did not fall in love and dream up the fantasy of the MM leaving his W........... I guess it would be much better to pat the back of their hands and tell them that it's going to be alright.......I suppose that would be better?

 

Face the truth......face the facts.......the MM will NEVER be able to spend time with us on those special days so stop hurting over it - that will be the cure to your sorrow. If you don't EXPECT it then it does'nt hurt when it does'nt happen.

 

bubbles

 

And by the way.......I spent my Valentines day with my best friend and two other single girlfriends....We had a BOO Valentines Day Dinner! It was great!

 

I'm gonna go with Lynnered on this one.. and this's starting to piss me off. I don't understand why you're basically making some girls feel like crap. Not every situation is like yours. And why are you basically bragging that you're glad he's just using you for sex?? Some of us fall in love with them. I did with my exMM. I had some expectations and I did get my heart broken. Other people telling me not to expect anything, blah blah blah didn't make me stop. I went on with it for a year. Butcha know what? I learned my lesson.. not everybody can be as empotionally detached as you obviously are. I don't see that you're inspiring anybody.. you sound like somebody who's just making feel bad. Just a hostile person.

[newby]

just stop it all of you.

everyone has raised some valid points, bubbles included. perhaps she is trying to tell some people what she thinks they ought to face. i'm sure its not the case with everybody but i bet some people ARE deluded. i know i was, i'm not proud of it but i'm not ashamed to admit it either, it's why i decided to leave when i got disillusioned with the whole thing. perhaps bubbles is trying to deal with it in her own way. on the other hand everybodies ways of dealing with things should be respected, but i am quite sure that bubbles has hit a nerve with some people out there.

its harsh truths like this that got me to face up to things. i am NOT saying with this statement that everybodies situation is the same, ive read on sites this one included that the mm really does love the ow, but as bubbles said doesnt mean he's gonna leave the wife. doesnt mean he's not either, i dont know the stats i just think imagining the situation, if a man is too scared to end a marriage in the first place, how much more scared is he going to be to end a marriage AND admit to or at least be discovered in a long term affair AND lose hero status in kids eyes AND look bad in everyone elses eyes too AND also in divorce proceedings wife is gonna have a whole lot more legs to stand on in these matters.....phew!! i dunno?

bubbles saying its only about sex, i am sure thats not true but i think she is quite right in saying, it is not likely he is going to leave wife.

[Bubbles]

Thank you newby.

 

And to everyone else involved with this thread. I am sure some of you probably LOATHE me right now and I am sorry for that but I am a bitch I guess......I just call it as I see it and that gets me into some really hot water sometimes but I just HATE seeing women throwing their lives away waiting for a "Man" to make it better for them. I guess if I was going to college in the 1960's I would probably be burning my bra.

 

Sorry guys if I make you all very upset but......my intentions were good.....it was my delivery I guess.

 

Sorry,

 

bubbles

[joodee]

Well, I was going to remain strong and not deal with my MM on VD Day, as I didn't even want to talk to him. Well, he started leaving messages on Sunday telling me that he loved me and missed me, I didn't return his calls - he had asked me to call back, he was going to be home all day (he lives alone, his w and kids live elsewhere). I was determined to make it a me day.

 

On Valentine's Morning I found on my doorstep a dozen red roses and a beautiful card. I wound up calling him to thank him and I later got together with him for a drink after I got off work (I worked till 10 pm that night DJing at a fine establisment). I know he didn't see his w that day at all ( checked up on him), but I told him when we had our drink that I really wanted some action taken. He said he missed me so much (it was only 5 days) and he agreed to therapy. The appointment is next week. I don't know if I want to wait that long, I just can't take him being married and his past (and maybe still) cheating.

 

I sure don't want to get my hopes up.

 

I first felt I should just kick myself for getting sentimental when I saw the flowers. I want to get strong like some of you have been. I do want more, I want much more than just being an OW and a secret.

[erika2610]

Bubbles.. I AM sorry. I guess it's just a touchy subject for me. I miss my exMM lately for some reason. I'm sure ya did mean well.. and again, I'm sorry..