Author Corvallis Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 Well, I already posted here before. The guy I was seeing for 2 short months left me for his ex-wife. they were together for 5 years, and divorced for 1. They have child too. So I was a rebound. Sucks I know. So the thing is that I know it's over. I already came to terms with it. I know it was a huge mistake going out with someone in that situation. Problem is that now, I'm jealous that nobody has ever loved me like he loves his ex. I also called one of my exes for reassurance, and he actually made me feel worse. I feel pathetic, sad, and worst part: I CAN'T SLEEP. Now, I can't stop thinking that I didn't really make an impact in his life. I was just the sucker who helped him out whenever he needed, just because he would say that I'm amazing, beautiful, sweet, and a bunch of lies. Even the I love you thing now upsets me. I need help, I think it's a pattern I need to break. I fall for people who never care about me, who play with my feelings. I need to stop thinking that I made mistakes and that I should have opened up to him more. I know even if I was the perfect boyfriend, he would have left me for the mom of his child anytime. I really need to sleep. This sleep deprivation is making things worse. A friend told me that I should still ask for my money back and control myself and get some closure. I don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Read the stories on here in the coping section. You need to love yourself before others will love you. Do this by achieving things. It's tough, but that's why you will love yourself if you succeed. It's probably best to cut all ties and concentrate on you. Others have done it and you can too. I had a really tough day today and it is a struggle to continue when you get setbacks, but that is what will make the rewards more worthwhile when they arrive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Corvallis Posted May 29, 2014 Author Share Posted May 29, 2014 Hey sorry to hear that, Before I met him, I was so confident and so full of life, but break-ups usually make me feel sorry about myself for a few days. I have good and bad days. I mean I just try to think that he just used when I just tried to help and be there for him. Anyways, I'm feeling good today. You know the road to recovery is a bumpy one. Hope you feel better now. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 just because he left you doesn't mean that you meant nothing to him. and you're friend is wrong about closure, you're not going to get closure from him. you'll only get closure from YOU. there's absolutely nothing that he can say that will make you feel any differently than you do right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Corvallis Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 Here I go again, My ex owes some money that I really need at this moment. I'm not sure if I should ask him to pay me back ($125) or just forget about it. I mean I need the money to go to NYC for the summer. He blocked me on facebook and I no longer have his number. What should I do? Should I go to his house and ask him. I mean I'm not rich to give money away. By breaking NC, am I going to feel crushed like when he just broke up with me?? I don't wanna feel like that again. Advice??? Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Here I go again, My ex owes some money that I really need at this moment. I'm not sure if I should ask him to pay me back ($125) or just forget about it. I mean I need the money to go to NYC for the summer. He blocked me on facebook and I no longer have his number. What should I do? Should I go to his house and ask him. I mean I'm not rich to give money away. By breaking NC, am I going to feel crushed like when he just broke up with me?? I don't wanna feel like that again. Advice??? Forget about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Sadly, I'd consider the money to be gone. If it's not something he's doing out of the kindness of his heart, then it's not going to happen. BTW, even though it's not the situation you are in, because he dumped you, I believe that if you owe money to a BF/GF and they dump you, all debts become null and void. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 If there was a 0 at the end of that number, I'd pursue it. But $125? I'm not rich by any means, far from it, but I don't think that money is worth the emotional trauma pursuing it would cause. It basically means one less crazy bar night -- though $125 in NYC is gone at the snap of a finger sometimes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rig88 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I know it's annoying when someone owes you money especially when you're in a bit of a tight spot. If he's blocked you on facebook then he clearly has no intentions of contacting you or having you in his life. By you contacting him , it just looks like you're looking for an excuse to contact him. Even if you do contact him , there's no gurantee that he'll pay the money he owes you anyway , he may not even reply to the message you send him and then you'll feel bad about contacting him in the first place. I personally dont think it's worth it but good luck with whatever you decide to do. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 You lost the money. Don't break NC to ask them back. Sorry Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I wouldn't bother with it... but if you have to, why don't you drop a note in his letter box that says "please deposit the $125 you owe me into this account" thanks. 12 345 6789012 00 if he doesn't do it, then you have to forget about it. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Consider it a $125 lesson to not lend money unless you are willing to never see it again. Don't break NC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 When you lend money to people you know assume it's a gift that you will never see again. If you can't afford to lose that much money, don't lend it. If you want 1 more shot at getting it back, send him a letter (since you know his address). Include a self addressed stamped envelope to make it easy for him. Assume you are not getting it back. Do not go over there. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 First off, you don't go lending money to a man you've only met for a few months. Secondly, if you are not rich, all the more reason you don't go lending people money. Do not go to his house. If you want to make a last ditch effort to get it back, send him a note with a self-addressed envelope, postage included and ask him to mail you back a check for the money he owes you. If you don't hear back, then let it go. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Corvallis Posted June 5, 2014 Author Share Posted June 5, 2014 My ex just texted tonight me thanking me for being there for him when he was down, and that he's sorry for everything that happened. The usual 'hope you are doing well' He wished me well and finished with SEE YOU AROUND G. All my exes have said goodbye. Should I reply?? Is he trying to see if I'm still on the hook? Am I reading too much into it? I sent him a letter yesterday telling him how much he meant to me, and that I know it's over. Wished him good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 You shouldn't have sent the letter for this exact reason -- now you are overanalyzing his motives. There's nothing there to respond to, so don't respond. It's time for you to move forward. At the very least did you ask for the $125 back? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 'see you around' is just a general good-bye, isn't it? Meaning 'see if you if I ever bump into you' sort of thing. It's nice but it's a good-bye. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 No more letters in the future please Link to post Share on other sites
Author Corvallis Posted June 5, 2014 Author Share Posted June 5, 2014 I deleted the text right away cuz I didn't want to reply, and he didn't even mention the money. So he pretty much told me to f* off again. Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 what he wrote is the sort of bland polite comment you would say to an old acquaintance that you havent seen in years that you happen to bump into at the store. it is superficially polite but it is absolutely devoid of substance or anything a dumpee would actually want to hear. I used to send the letters to the dumpers, but then stopped doing it when I never got the answers I wanted, or closure, all I did was give them an egoboost by showing how hooked I still was. forget that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Rig88 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Unfortunately , the risk you take when you contact an ex is that you're either going to be totally snubbed and get no reply at all or the reply will be cold and blunt , making you kick yourself for contacting them in the first place. 'See you around' is a pretty blunt , unfeeling response. I'd leave this be if I was you and focus on healing yourself and moving on. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Corvallis Posted June 5, 2014 Author Share Posted June 5, 2014 Thank you guys! I really appreciate all the advice you've given me. I didn't reply, and already moving on. I'm still hurt that he didn't seem to care at all, like if everything was just a joke. The bastard didn't even offer to pay me back haha He's a freaking moron with nothing going on in his life. I'm going out with someone tonight AS friends, I told the guy that I'm not emotionally available! Link to post Share on other sites
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