soclose2dend Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 I don't want to keep bringing this up about the women he have to be involved with in his job but now he has hired this sec...she is a young single mom. She is to be coming into town sunday to do her training here. He has got to pick her up (alone) take her to the meeting (in another town) then bring her back to the hotel. I just don't understand but don't want to seem parnoid like I know I am but I asked him did the people at his job know that he was married. The politic i don't think it is proper for him to be alone with her and then to be seem around in the town where we live with a woman ...what do you think...any guy out there that think i am wrong or should i say something....this will never end. Link to post Share on other sites
Author soclose2dend Posted February 12, 2005 Author Share Posted February 12, 2005 I am seriously thinking about following him sunday. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 I wouldn't go so far as to say that he shouldn't be alone with her...but I do find it quite odd that your BF/H (which?) "HAS" to provide weekend transportation for a subordinate. Normally she would provide her own transportation, and bill it to the company (mileage or cab/bus fare). It's not good for him to be giving her unnecessary personal services like this, particularly against your wishes...it does raise the possibility that she may also be giving him "personal services", or at least that he has hopes for it. If he starts saying that he needs to go over to her place to "fix her furnace" or some other cr*p like that, then you'll know what is going on. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 OK, now that I have read your other threads, with the perfume, cell phone, no sex, lies, etc. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that he is either getting horizontal with somebody (probably the secy) or is so close to it as to make no real difference. You can really go crazy getting the goods on a cheater. He'll start calling you crazy, if he hasn't already. When you get heavy into investigation like you have, it means you already have a big problem by definition. Assume he is cheating, and then act accordingly. That's my best advice. See <URL removed> and don't close your eyes to the obvious anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author soclose2dend Posted February 12, 2005 Author Share Posted February 12, 2005 thanks, that is what i was thinking...this and he has giving me a headache... i am just so tired... thank again. Link to post Share on other sites
pushing tin Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 having an affair is all about logistics, and creating the perfect windows of opportunity. Situations around work are ideal, since they can be explained as third party issues (my boss threw a last minute project at me, etc.). This situation sound slippery. If you follow, you could chance getting caught. Can you afford a professional? Link to post Share on other sites
Author soclose2dend Posted February 13, 2005 Author Share Posted February 13, 2005 we talked about it...i explained my case and he claimed that he didn't think of it that way and would get out of escorting her. he cried and yes he does cry like a baby when he think that i am unhappy. he did try to insure me that it wasn't like that and that he thought that by telling me that he had to drive her he was being honest (i thanked him for that) but he didn't look at the end result. as for following him.. i really don't think he would even notice, i might lose him on the way there. but i do know where the meeting is going to be i would just have to go there and then sit in the car and see if she does get in the car with him... that would be the only way to be done. as for hiring someone professional, i only know of one person in our area and he is sooo 'freakin' high. i just can't afford him so i am on my own... i have until tom at 4 (when he leaves home) to figure out what to do or should i do it. Link to post Share on other sites
pushing tin Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 the crying like a baby thing....sounds like what most sex addicts do when they are on the verge of getting busted. resort to complete emotional control over you by making you feel guilty. I am suspicous, since it takes one to know one. if you think you can pull it off, follow him. you will get the truths that you need, but you also could succomb yourself to more emotional obsessions, since it may only fill in part of a story. remember, there is always smoke where there is fire, and there is always much much more to something that you are suspicious of, than you know. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 I suggest that YOU provide her the transportation if she needs it so bad. Watch your H's face carefully when you suggest this plan. If you see disappointment there, that's a solid data point. Link to post Share on other sites
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