pretty4781 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I have been "hanging out" with my guy friend for six months now and I've fallen madly in love with him. We were hanging out at his place a couple weeks ago and I asked him."If I fall will you catch me?" He answered "I already have". What exactly does that mean? I also told him (via txt)I'm in love with him and afraid of being hurt" his response had nothing to do with what I said lol:/. I'm sooo confused because I really want him to be open about his feelings (good or bad ) and not leave me hanging. *FYI* We have communicated after I expressed my feelings to him. I just need insight as to what's going on with him lol any advice would be great. We're not official either Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 How old are you? Do you have a sexual relationship? How much time do you spend together/how often do you see each other? Do either of you date/see other people? Without more information, it's not possible to offer any useful advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pretty4781 Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 (edited) How old are you? Do you have a sexual relationship? How much time do you spend together/how often do you see each other? Do either of you date/see other people? Without more information, it's not possible to offer any useful advice. I'm 23 and single . We do have a sexual relationship and we hangout as often as we can. To my knowledge he's not dating anyone. Edited June 2, 2014 by pretty4781 Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 In that case, six months is kind of a long time to not have had a discussion about the nature of your relationship. Instead of dropping hints, why not talk to him about how you are feeling (confused) and the future direction of your relationship. After six months--and the fact that you are having sex--you have a right to know. What seems odd to me is that despite those things, you arent comfortable communicating your feelings and he appears avoidant. Why is that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pretty4781 Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 In that case, six months is kind of a long time to not have had a discussion about the nature of your relationship. Instead of dropping hints, why not talk to him about how you are feeling (confused) and the future direction of your relationship. After six months--and the fact that you are having sex--you have a right to know. What seems odd to me is that despite those things, you arent comfortable communicating your feelings and he appears avoidant. Why is that? I agree I'm kind of shy and I've never fallen in love like this before soo telling him how I feel in person and not knowing what his answer will be scares me:/. I'm going to swallow my pride and tell him because I really need to know how he feels about me ) <3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Do not ever attempt to have a serious conversation via text or e-mail. It never works. If you are having sex with him you are more than friends, you are FWB. It's tough to change the mindset of most guys to go from easy NSA sex to a relationship. If you want a relationship you have to find out how he feels about you. If he doesn't want the commitment, you have to decide if you still want to have sex with him. My suggestion is that you don't because if you are emotionally invested & he isn't, when the love of his life comes along & he wants to end your arrangement, you will be even more devastated than if you walk away with your head held high. Also when you talk to him you have to be direct. Don't beat around the bush & ask inane questions like "If I fall will you catch me?" While he may literally catch you to avoid you doing a face plant on the sidewalk, that doesn't mean he loves you. Be clear during your discussion. Find out if he has any interest in dating you. Don't lead with another declaration about loving him. Your goal here is to find out how he feels. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 You may be more invested than him and you're still young and it's likely you will both end up moving on to other people eventually. I would be careful about trying to nail him down about his intentions. If you feel you can't move forward without some commitment from him that he is serious, then you must be prepared that you are possibly more invested than him and that talking could backfire and force him to tell you he likes you but isn't ready or whatever. If you are able to just have fun and enjoy your time together without feeling you're wasting your time, that is what I'd do and just see what develops. Anyway, a good gauge with people and especially men isn't what they say but what they do (and this excludes how they act during sex because they're always in love with everyone then). Notice whether he seems like he wants to be involved in your domestic life and know about your day to day maintenance. I mean, does he offer to help you out if your car dies or come running when you're down and always want to help you celebrate your accomplishments? Or is he pretty much self-absorbed and not anyone you could count on. Actions really do speak louder than words sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 He would know by 6 months whether or not he was also in love with you. Men are simple like that. When a man meets the love of his life, he KNOWS it by the 6 month mark. The fact he didn't also confess that he was madly in love with you too, says it all. This man is not madly in love with you and never will be. Sorry. You really need to let go and cut this man out of your life. ....or else you will be devastated when he DOES meet a girl he is crazy about. Link to post Share on other sites
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