Tea/coffee First Dates

[Potz4prez]

I started off with this as my go-to first date. Casual and cheap. I'm beginning to realize that it starts everything off way too slow and friendly. Anyone else feel this way?

 

I'm beginning to think that I'm just going to start asking girls out for a drink at night instead. I figure that will help set things off in a romantic direction.

[Phoe]

I like coffee BECAUSE it's friendly.

 

I'd be hesitant to accept going out for drinks at night. Gives me a bad vibe.

[Frank2thepoint]

I started off with this as my go-to first date. Casual and cheap. I'm beginning to realize that it starts everything off way too slow and friendly. Anyone else feel this way?

 

I'm beginning to think that I'm just going to start asking girls out for a drink at night instead. I figure that will help set things off in a romantic direction.

 

I think the low-key, down-to-earth women enjoy coffee/tea (even brick oven pizza too) as a first date. It's a relaxed setting, where both of you can get to know each other. What signifies a romantic direction for a date is the rapport you are trying to create with each other.

[somedude81]

I started off with this as my go-to first date. Casual and cheap. I'm beginning to realize that it starts everything off way too slow and friendly. Anyone else feel this way?

 

I'm beginning to think that I'm just going to start asking girls out for a drink at night instead. I figure that will help set things off in a romantic direction.

 

I've never even did the meet for drinks at night thing. Though it was probably because of age of girls I'm trying to date. Yes they are drinking age

 

Though getting coffee/tea seems really boring

[Potz4prez]

I like coffee BECAUSE it's friendly.

 

I'd be hesitant to accept going out for drinks at night. Gives me a bad vibe.

 

I think the low-key, down-to-earth women enjoy coffee/tea (even brick oven pizza too) as a first date. It's a relaxed setting, where both of you can get to know each other. What signifies a romantic direction for a date is the rapport you are trying to create with each other.

 

All good points... I'll just continue doing what I've always done

 

One girl suggested a brunch date once, and I have to say, it was an awesome idea.

 

 

Now to work on that rapport... haha

[somedude81]

 

One girl suggested a brunch date once, and I have to say, it was an awesome idea.

Though what will you guys do the day before?

[Potz4prez]

I like coffee BECAUSE it's friendly.

 

I'd be hesitant to accept going out for drinks at night. Gives me a bad vibe.

 

I was curious... does this apply to only OLD for you, or every first date?

[Phoe]

I was curious... does this apply to only OLD for you, or every first date?

 

every first date. But I've only gone on 6 first dates, so my sample size is small.

 

edit: actually, thinking logically, my numbers are off. My first 2 boyfriends never actually took me out on dates. We just were friends socially and becoming bf/gf just sort of happened.

 

 

I've had 2 coffee first dates, a walk around the mall and get Taco Bell first date, and a movie first date.

 

 

going out for drinks was never an option, it wouldn't have sat well with me. Then again, none of those guys were ever drinkers anyway.

Edited June 2, 2014 by Phoe

[clia]

I think the coffee/tea first "date" is fine for scenarios where you haven't met the woman in person yet -- i.e. OLD, Tinder, etc. Otherwise, I don't think meeting for coffee/tea is a good first date idea.

 

Even so, meeting for coffee/tea is pretty bland. I always preferred to meet for a drink -- that feels more like a date to me.

[TheBladeRunner]

I was doing the whole "dinner thing" and even when you split the check it get's expensive. I feel that doing coffee first is also a little more relaxing for a first date. I usually try to pick a coffee joint close to a restaurant that I know serves good desert as well (within walking distance). If my first meeting is going well I say "I know a great desert place, wanna' go grab some and maybe have a drink?" The cool thing is that even if I do pick up the check it seldom costs over $30.00 plus a tip. My typical dinner dates ran into the mid $70.00 range with a tip.

[FitChick]

I prefer meeting during the day. Gives you an excuse if things don't go well, "Gotta get back to work!" Same with a weekend, "Gotta do all of my weekend errands and shopping!"

 

I don't like evening dates for a meet and greet situation.

[Potz4prez]

I actually like having that option too But I can just as easily bail from a night-date.

 

I think the coffee/tea first "date" is fine for scenarios where you haven't met the woman in person yet -- i.e. OLD, Tinder, etc. Otherwise, I don't think meeting for coffee/tea is a good first date idea.

 

Even so, meeting for coffee/tea is pretty bland. I always preferred to meet for a drink -- that feels more like a date to me.

 

Yeah, see that's the exact mindset I'm in right now. Coffee/tea with someone you meet IRL feels like meeting them all over again. Because it's in the day and such, it doesn't feel like a date. Most places have you seated across from each other, which doesn't help. It's got an interview vibe... which for me, kind of kills how I feel about the girl, which carries on to subsequent dates.

 

I mean, if I and the girl click REALLY well, it doesn't matter where we go... but this is for consideration for all those other girls.

[d0nnivain]

What if you change where you meet rather than what you do.

 

 

A brightly lit Starbuck / Dunkin Donuts / diner is not very romantic but there are mom & pop coffee shops with a quainter vibe.

[R3d]

What about hanging out at a park? Is that a good first date?

[Phoe]

. My typical dinner dates ran into the mid $70.00 range with a tip.

 

 

Where on earth are you eating???

 

 

The only dinner I've had in that expensive a realm was on my 21st birthday and even then I remember saying "this is a once in a lifetime kind of dinner".

 

 

If I go out for dinner with my boyfriend, it's $20 total MAX. and even then I feel a bit guilty.

[Phoe]

What about hanging out at a park? Is that a good first date?

 

As long as the weather is nice that would be a good date.

[somedude81]

What about hanging out at a park? Is that a good first date?

 

Heh, I had a first date where the girl and I walked around the park and all that. It was a long time ago.

 

Honestly, I felt the first date with my ex was just perfect.

 

We went to a beach that had a nearby hiking trail. We hiked for about an hour, then walked along the shore and through the tide pools. Then we just sat on the sand and talked for like two more hours. We only left because some guy came up to me and told me that I was getting really burned on my back.

 

One thing I should point out is that we met in a dance class and frequently talked in that class for a couple of months before the first date. So there was no question about whether or not she could trust me.

[d0nnivain]

What about hanging out at a park? Is that a good first date?

 

 

Nope. A lot of crime happens in parks. If some guy asked me to hang out in a park, I'd think he was trying to mug me or worse.

[clia]

Where on earth are you eating???

 

The only dinner I've had in that expensive a realm was on my 21st birthday and even then I remember saying "this is a once in a lifetime kind of dinner".

 

If I go out for dinner with my boyfriend, it's $20 total MAX. and even then I feel a bit guilty.

 

Where are you eating for $20 max? LOL.

 

If you are in a major city, $70 for dinner at a standard, sit down restaurant is pretty normal if you go to the popular, hip places (which you would if you were on a date). I'm in Chicago and my fiance and I rarely eat out for less than $50 (and that's usually for lunch or brunch), and when we go out to dinner we typically spend at least $100-200, depending on if we order a bottle of wine or not. It can definitely add up...

[clia]

What about hanging out at a park? Is that a good first date?

 

What do you mean "hang out"? Do what? Sit on a bench and talk? Walk around the park?

 

I guess it depends -- we have some nice parks here that are packed with people on the weekends, so I guess I wouldn't be opposed to walking around them or people watching for a little while.

[R3d]

Yeah, sit on a bench and talk and maybe take a walk. Personally, for dates, I like the idea of being outside, in nature, not so much dinners and indoors stuff. Things like nature trail walks, sitting on the bench at a park just having a good time, watching the stars, being on high altitude seem like dates I would enjoy more.

[Tayla]

Here are some first date plans that cut the ice.

 

(1) Went to an air show ( planes and military memorablia)

(2) Went to a local fair

(3) Went biking

(4) Went to a workshop that did wood burning. Not the wood in a fire place, wood to make crafts or outdoor items.

(5) Went to an evening outdoor theater- Band played or a local group did their talents on stage or an oldie but goody movie was being shown.

(6) Went to a comedy show

(7) Went to our local college to watch a magician show.

(8) Took a tour of a nearby museum .

(9) Went on a poker run followed by a BBQ, that was a fun date!

(10) Went fishing and canoeing.

(11) took a walk down to our local ice cream shop, it was a mile walk there and a longer walk back, we simply enjoyed the evening talk and the neighborhoods.

(12) Went to a park and flew kites. That date was serious on his kite making and maneuvers. I was imperssed!! We had a small picnic their too.

(13) Spent the day at a lake, paddle boats and volleyball.

(14) Met at an italian restaurant , had dessert only and some fresh espresso! It was lovely to keep it simple.

[Bigcitydreamer]

Personally I don't think I'd mind a coffee date as a first date. Makes it feel lighter and less stressful. I get pretty nervous around guys I like so I like to keep the initial meeting relatively short.

 

That being said, I've never actually gone on a coffee date as a first date. Usually my first dates involve either a drink or dinner. I'm not fond of dinner first dates because I'm usually too nervous to taste the food anyways haha. But I do like going for a drink because it loosens me up. The last first date I went on, we went to a trendy dark spot that served food and drinks. I had 2 drinks and then went home. Date lasted probably 1.5- 2 hours. It was super fun and definitely felt romantic. Stupid me ended up blowing this guy off and getting back with my ex even though he was definitely an awesome guy. The point is, the mood was definitely set and even though I blew him off I still think about him and I don't know if I would have if our date had been a coffee one. Probably though I guess I'll never know.

 

Long story short- coffee dates are not bad for many reasons, BUT I do think a more romantic setting can increase romantic feelings.

[Potz4prez]

What if you change where you meet rather than what you do.

 

 

A brightly lit Starbuck / Dunkin Donuts / diner is not very romantic but there are mom & pop coffee shops with a quainter vibe.

 

Haha, I would never entertain the idea of going to a starbucks or dunkin donuts.

 

Honestly, I don't drink caffeine anymore, so I always opt for a tea joint. And there's only one around here with decent tea. It's not as bad as starbucks, but it's not exactly quaint.

 

i just met a guy for coffee during the day, it was boring and he was unable to relax, would have been better if we both had had a glass of wine. Seems like a cheap date otherwise.

 

Kind of how I feel I can't relax in a coffee/tea shop.

 

There was an AMAZING tea shop in Budapest, where the place was set up like a cat play-place... except people size No chairs... all pillows. It was sooooo awesome and chill. I wish we had something like that.

 

Nope. A lot of crime happens in parks. If some guy asked me to hang out in a park, I'd think he was trying to mug me or worse.

 

haha

 

Park dates don't seem right until after the first date... it feels like more of an investment.

 

Here are some first date plans that cut the ice.

 

(1) Went to an air show ( planes and military memorablia)

(2) Went to a local fair

(3) Went biking

(4) Went to a workshop that did wood burning. Not the wood in a fire place, wood to make crafts or outdoor items.

(5) Went to an evening outdoor theater- Band played or a local group did their talents on stage or an oldie but goody movie was being shown.

(6) Went to a comedy show

(7) Went to our local college to watch a magician show.

(8) Took a tour of a nearby museum .

(9) Went on a poker run followed by a BBQ, that was a fun date!

(10) Went fishing and canoeing.

(11) took a walk down to our local ice cream shop, it was a mile walk there and a longer walk back, we simply enjoyed the evening talk and the neighborhoods.

(12) Went to a park and flew kites. That date was serious on his kite making and maneuvers. I was imperssed!! We had a small picnic their too.

(13) Spent the day at a lake, paddle boats and volleyball.

(14) Met at an italian restaurant , had dessert only and some fresh espresso! It was lovely to keep it simple.

 

Those are some really long first dates haha.

[Bigcitydreamer]

What about hanging out at a park? Is that a good first date?

 

Meh, I don't think so. Doesn't really count as a date if you don't do anything. I can't imagine expecting a girl you don't know being ok with just going for a walk or hanging out in the park. It seems that different people have different expectations though, so if that really sounds like an awesome time to you, I don't see why you can't find someone who would also like to do that for a first date.