Tea/coffee First Dates

[somedude81]

Meh, I don't think so. Doesn't really count as a date if you don't do anything. I can't imagine expecting a girl you don't know being ok with just going for a walk or hanging out in the park. It seems that different people have different expectations though, so if that really sounds like an awesome time to you, I don't see why you can't find someone who would also like to do that for a first date.

 

How is a walk through the park any less than eating dinner together?

[R3d]

It seems like different people like different things.

[Bigcitydreamer]

How is a walk through the park any less than eating dinner together?

 

If a stranger asked me on a date and said lets go for a walk I would find it not very committed on their part. I guess I like to feel like I'm being romanced a little especially early on. It just sets the tone towards a more romantic one. It's hard to explain.

 

I wouldn't turn down someone I really liked if they asked me to go for a walk. I wouldn't really consider it a date though and would be wondering if and when they were going to ask me on a date.

[Frank2thepoint]

Here are some first date plans that cut the ice.

 

(1) Went to an air show ( planes and military memorablia)

(2) Went to a local fair

(3) Went biking

(4) Went to a workshop that did wood burning. Not the wood in a fire place, wood to make crafts or outdoor items.

(5) Went to an evening outdoor theater- Band played or a local group did their talents on stage or an oldie but goody movie was being shown.

(6) Went to a comedy show

(7) Went to our local college to watch a magician show.

(8) Took a tour of a nearby museum .

(9) Went on a poker run followed by a BBQ, that was a fun date!

(10) Went fishing and canoeing.

(11) took a walk down to our local ice cream shop, it was a mile walk there and a longer walk back, we simply enjoyed the evening talk and the neighborhoods.

(12) Went to a park and flew kites. That date was serious on his kite making and maneuvers. I was imperssed!! We had a small picnic their too.

(13) Spent the day at a lake, paddle boats and volleyball.

(14) Met at an italian restaurant , had dessert only and some fresh espresso! It was lovely to keep it simple.

 

Many of these are great first dates (even second dates). They are simple, low pressure activities, even romantic, and they allow you to engage each other in conversation. All of these are important on a first date.

 

Personally, I'd save the fancy dinner at a restaurant for a later date (maybe date three or later) when both people are more comfortable with each other.

[Under The Radar]

We'll usually hang out on the monkey bars, critique each others pushup form, followed by chugging our protein shakes as fast as possible ...... all while staring into each others starstruck eyes before discussing 2nd date possibilities.

[R3d]

We'll usually hang out on the monkey bars, critique each others pushup form, followed by chugging our protein shakes as fast as possible ...... all while staring into each others starstruck eyes before discussing 2nd date possibilities.

 

This is where it's at.

[somedude81]

If a stranger asked me on a date and said lets go for a walk I would find it not very committed on their part. I guess I like to feel like I'm being romanced a little especially early on. It just sets the tone towards a more romantic one. It's hard to explain.

 

I wouldn't turn down someone I really liked if they asked me to go for a walk. I wouldn't really consider it a date though and would be wondering if and when they were going to ask me on a date.

 

Two points.

 

1. A stranger.

 

I can understand wanting to be in a secure location if you are with somebody you don't know. It feels safer.

 

2. Being romanced.

 

Does that actually mean, "spending money on me?" If so, does the amount of money being spent on you make a difference.

 

I'm failing to understand how walking through a park, buying some ice cream from the stand and watching the ducks is less of a date then sitting down in a restaurant and watching each other eat.

[todreaminblue]

I actually really enjoy day dates ...i am less likely to be enguarde ...alcohol at night isn't romantic to me......if i were to consider a day date on a beach with a blanket and brie......hopefully hairless brie......hairs are not romantic when attached to cheese probably equal to drinks at night for me.....any date can be romantic if you want it to be doesnt have to be at night or have alcohol included........deb

[Bigcitydreamer]

Are you reading anything that I'm writing or just trying to start an argument? Where do I mention spending money? I said my last first date involved 2 drinks so what was that $10?

 

People are entitled to their own opinions on things. I've never been asked out for a walk, hasn't happened. I'm not completely adverse to it I just think its a weird choice when there are many other choices.

 

I like walking, I walk frequently, but as a first date I'd like a little more to get the passion going for me.

[Under The Radar]

Please don't do this:

 

 

[TheBladeRunner]

Where on earth are you eating???

 

 

The only dinner I've had in that expensive a realm was on my 21st birthday and even then I remember saying "this is a once in a lifetime kind of dinner".

 

 

If I go out for dinner with my boyfriend, it's $20 total MAX. and even then I feel a bit guilty.

 

Phoe you cheap date you ....where have you been all my life?...ha ha ha .

 

Nice to see a woman that's OK w/o the big tab. My last victim.....I mean potential date was a real snob. I talked to her on the phone and was discussing some first date options because we were going to meet and everything she suggested was the type of place reserved for special occasions and very expensive, needless to say the meeting never happened.

 

$70.00 is standard for a moderate dinner for two with drinks here in my area; if you think that's bad if I was seeing someone I was really into I'll go as high as $200.00 for a very nice meal and drinks/wine (special occasions).

 

I know this sounds dumb, but I always want to put my best foot forward when I first meet someone, however, I am done using a flashy dinner to impress anyone.

 

Other than coffee, if I was to do dinner on a first date maybe we'd do BBQ ribs......you learn a lot about a person when they eat ribs . Vegans add something messy you guys eat and we'll add it.

Edited June 3, 2014 by TheBladeRunner
Forgot something

[SpiralOut]

Most of my dates have been OLD, and I consider the first meetup to be more of a "let's see if I like you or not" sort of thing than a date. That's why coffee is good. If it goes well, we'll go for a walk afterwards and maybe grab some dinner. If the guy is creeping me out, I can say that I have errands to run and end it quickly.

[MissBee]

Where on earth are you eating???

 

 

The only dinner I've had in that expensive a realm was on my 21st birthday and even then I remember saying "this is a once in a lifetime kind of dinner".

 

 

If I go out for dinner with my boyfriend, it's $20 total MAX. and even then I feel a bit guilty.

 

Huh? $20 for two people???? Where are you eating? Unless it's a fast food place, not many restaurants I know are cheap enough where two people can eat for $20 max. On average the cheapest entree at most restaurants around here is between $11-$15 not including drinks, getting an appetizer, dessert and tip. $20 is only good enough for you to get a meal and a drink for yourself and you still have to pay extra for a tip. Even fast food places aren't that cheap...granted most of the fast food around here I guess is more "upscale" and hipsterish type fastfood where stuff is fair trade, organic etc but even those that aren't, getting a combo runs you about $8 on average and for two people that's $16 bucks not including tax and tip. I'm genuinely curious about where you find non-fastfood meals for two that cost $20 or less?

 

 

To the question:

 

I see coffee as more of a meet-up type of thing and not a date. I ask people to coffee if we're acquaintances and I want to chat or meet up about something specific. I agree with the poster who said for those who are using it as an online dating meet up thing it might make sense but not as an actual date.

 

It doesn't have to be coffee OR drinks at night. There are other options between those. But for me the most important is catering to the likes of the person you're going out with. Not everyone likes the same stuff and the goal is to connect with and perhaps impress a specific person, so it only makes sense that you run date ideas by them or at least pay attention to get a sense of if they are the drinks, coffee, movie or whatever type and then go with that.

Edited June 3, 2014 by MissBee

[Tayla]

Many of these are great first dates (even second dates). They are simple, low pressure activities, even romantic, and they allow you to engage each other in conversation. All of these are important on a first date.

 

Personally, I'd save the fancy dinner at a restaurant for a later date (maybe date three or later) when both people are more comfortable with each other.

 

Thanks Frank, I should have prefaced that most of my "first" dates were with people I had known prior. basically it wasnt a blind date. trying to reflect here, only one date was a blind date and that was in High school. It went dreadfully wrong. So I reckon I don't do blind dates so much as first dates with someone whom I feel safe with. Still , enjoy getting out socially and meeting people prior to committing to date material. Hope the OP finds some of the suggestions here worthy of considering. Life is too short not to make the most of an outing

[Phoe]

Well, I suppose location has much to do with the price of food around here.

 

Expensive restaurants don't exist in the middle of the desert.

 

 

The nicest restaurant around here is applebees. That's where we go for a bit of a treat, it's usually about $20. Otherwise there's a lil diner-ish burger joint that has some good food and shakes, the tab there is about $15.

 

 

99 cent tacos are common for me as well.

 

 

I don't see how ANYONE can spend $200 at a restaurant. What on earth are you ordering? How much are you eating? Are you really drinking an entire bottle of wine???

[GravityMan]

A meet-n-greet with a stranger? I'd rather play it safe and stick to a coffee/tea place during the day. Or some other kind of low-key place that's sufficiently conducive to a brief meet with easy exit opportunities should things not go well. I mean, we don't know each other, so I don't want to risk doing something like drinks or even ice cream for a meet-n-greet. Some women don't drink at all (wine included), and many women are health conscious to the point where they do not eat ice cream. That said...Starbucks seems like a very lame choice, even for a meet and greet. I'd bet that every single town or city with a population of 25,000 or more has at least one non-chain coffee place with a quainter vibe.

 

If the meet goes well then that can be transitioned into more of a real date if time permits, with drinks, walk-in-the-park, whatever.

 

A first date with a woman I already know a bit beforehand? I'd be far more willing to be more daring on where to go and/or what to do. Lots of options, like Tayla indicated in her list. I would not do a coffee first date in this case...too bland.

 

This is one of the reasons why I prefer to build up a bit of rapport with a woman before we actually start dating. It's often easier to do things this way when meeting them thru friends or social activities/events rather than bars or OLD. Ideally the whole thing will feel natural and organic.

[Stillits]

Nope. A lot of crime happens in parks. If some guy asked me to hang out in a park, I'd think he was trying to mug me or worse.

 

LOL!

 

Okay, I'm sorry but.. I'm just sitting here thinking of the parks I know (in Europe), which everyone gravitates to on a sunny day. Not places for crimes (other than perhaps selling herbs in the corners) but rather to have a drink/picnic with family and friends. Granted, during the night it is probably not the best place to walk around alone with all your valuables.. Still, makes me wonder how messed up Murica is (jk)

 

As for me, I'd love to meet someone for a walk in the park provided that it's in daylight.

[clia]

I don't see how ANYONE can spend $200 at a restaurant. What on earth are you ordering? How much are you eating? Are you really drinking an entire bottle of wine???

 

I couldn't spend $200 on dinner at Applebees!

 

It's easy to spend $100-200 for dinner if you are at a popular restaurant in a hopping part of town with a good chef, and are having drinks with dinner. That's just what it costs. One or two appetizers ($10-20 each), two entrees ($15-50 each), one dessert to share ($10), and two drinks each or a bottle of wine ($20-80). Obviously you can bring the cost down by ordering cheaper entrees, skipping the appetizers, and skipping the alcohol.

 

And yes, between two people at a nice dinner that stretches over a couple hours we can easily drink an entire bottle of wine. That's 2-3 glasses each. It's pretty common. For example, we had dinner at Nico Osteria last weekend, which is a very popular place right now, and our total with tax and tip came to around $225. That was a five course meal (shared plates) and a bottle of wine.

 

I'm surprised you are so surprised, given that you lived in Santa Barbara! There are some nice restaurants there.

 

I would not expect a $200 meal on a first date, though. But it isn't uncommon for a guy to spend close to $100 on a first date here, if you go out for drinks and dinner, depending on the age bracket (late 20s and up).

 

And R3d -- Given your age, I think hanging out at the park (and/or getting ice cream) is a great first date idea!

[Potz4prez]

LOL!

 

Okay, I'm sorry but.. I'm just sitting here thinking of the parks I know (in Europe), which everyone gravitates to on a sunny day. Not places for crimes (other than perhaps selling herbs in the corners) but rather to have a drink/picnic with family and friends. Granted, during the night it is probably not the best place to walk around alone with all your valuables.. Still, makes me wonder how messed up Murica is (jk)

 

As for me, I'd love to meet someone for a walk in the park provided that it's in daylight.

 

Parks aren't the same in most of the USA They're never as vibrant as parks in Europe. They won't even let us have alcohol... I miss having a beer in the park, with my favorite book and a blanket.

 

It's better in places like San Francisco and Central Park in NYC, but those are huge exceptions.

 

I hate the states. I really do. Damn puritans. All my favorite date locations are in Europe haha.

[clia]

Parks aren't the same in most of the USA They're never as vibrant as parks in Europe. They won't even let us have alcohol... I miss having a beer in the park, with my favorite book and a blanket.

 

It's better in places like San Francisco and Central Park in NYC, but those are huge exceptions.

 

I hate the states. I really do. Damn puritans. All my favorite date locations are in Europe haha.

 

We have great parks in Chicago!

[MissBee]

Well, I suppose location has much to do with the price of food around here.

 

Expensive restaurants don't exist in the middle of the desert.

 

 

The nicest restaurant around here is applebees. That's where we go for a bit of a treat, it's usually about $20. Otherwise there's a lil diner-ish burger joint that has some good food and shakes, the tab there is about $15.

 

 

99 cent tacos are common for me as well.

 

 

I don't see how ANYONE can spend $200 at a restaurant. What on earth are you ordering? How much are you eating? Are you really drinking an entire bottle of wine???

 

It just depends on the restaurant...obviously if you spend $200 at AppleBees it means you are ordering an army of food, but at upscale restaurants where an entree costs say $30-50, it's already close to $100 for two people to simply get an entree, then that doesn't count any other food like wine, appetizers, dessert. Also, a bottle of wine is 5 servings. So for two people that means they're having a little over 2 glasses of wine each, which isn't a tremendous amount.

 

But yea it all depends on where you live. Applebees for me is a casual dining restaurant that I go to for cheap meals when I'm on road trips mostly or wanna grab a quick bite but it's not a "nice" restaurant by any stretch in my mind and certainly not somewhere I'd dress up to go to on a date. If however that's the nicest place where you live then that shifts your perspective...but in more urban places with a bigger restaurant culture, it is not unheard of, and rather quite the norm, that a dinner out esp at a nice place can run you into the hundreds

 

Funnily though, I'm definitely a "foodie" so for me, I don't mind spending money on delicious, unique, interesting culinary experiences. Most of my disposable income actually goes to traveling and food . However, for the "eat to live" types or those who simply don't care about food or aren't particularly adventurous then for them certain prices are absurd.

[Phoe]

I'm surprised you are so surprised, given that you lived in Santa Barbara! There are some nice restaurants there.

 

I was VERY poor when I lived in SB. I didn't always eat. Sometimes I was lucky to scrape up a dollar to go get 99 cent tacos.

 

 

I went on one date though in SB, it was at starbucks and I bought my own drink.

 

 

I'm still amazed at the idea of $50 even for one entree. It seems so unneccessary lol. $50 feeds me for a week!

[regine_phalange]

I agree that a coffee/tea date is ideal, because you concentrate on getting to know each other. It's also calmer, without too much noise and distractions. Most people in my country say "let's go for a coffee" instead of "let's go on a date". Just choose a cute looking place with nice beverages, and you are set. If you want to give it a more romantic tone, you may go for a coffee in the afternoon and then have an early night walk in the city.

[martaldn]

maybe I am turning a bit British but if I have to meet a stranger i have never met before and dont know if I would like him ..well... I would need alcohol. !!

[HappyLove]

Coffee date is for online meetings where you're not even sure what the person looks like so just playing it safe.

 

If I met a man IRL and he asked me on a date and took me to have coffee I'd be turned off big time.