mercuryshadow Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Just prior to and after our wedding, my H and I noticed that a couple of his ex girlfriends were trying to get a hold of him! He was the typical "too nice" guy who was always getting dumped (prior to meeting me, that is). This has nothing to do with me feeling jealous or insecure over the phenomenon...he showed me the texts/missed calls. They were mostly congratulatory in nature, but why...after all this time? I know for fact they had not been in contact, and he had to ask who they were, as he no longer had their contact info. The same was true for me, but to a lesser extent. I am more private in regards to social media and things, but I had a few messages here and there from guys I hadn't spoken to in years (people I'd only casually dated). I am just curious - is this common? And what in the world would they hope to accomplish? Congratulatory messages are nice, but if their attempt at contact continues beyond that... just what is their purpose at that point? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 It did not happen to us. Nobody came out of the woodwork on either side. I actually looked for some of his buddies to get their RSVPs; they never responded nor did they show up. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I am just curious - is this common? And what in the world would they hope to accomplish? Congratulatory messages are nice, but if their attempt at contact continues beyond that... just what is their purpose at that point? Maybe 1) Guilt - "See I told you -when I dumped you - you would find someone special since your a nice guy" (i.e. I am closing the door on any guilt I have - or saying told ya so) 2) Regret - "Umm, I should stayed with a nice guy like you, see I end up with these jerks and had all this fun, but I see know they are not the marrying type, and really should have stayed with you but...." 3) Just being nice - "Hey Ya know you really were a nice guy and I am truly happy for you, you deserve a great gal this made my day to see you find your love" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mercuryshadow Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 (edited) It did not happen to us. Nobody came out of the woodwork on either side. I actually looked for some of his buddies to get their RSVPs; they never responded nor did they show up. It's a shame when that happens with friends. The same was true for us in regards to some friends who were very careless in their response. A few backed out after they confirmed their attendance, one did not show up...I suppose you come to know who you can truly count on. But for former casual dates or non-serious exes to take such an interest all of a sudden seemed quite odd to me. People that neither of us had spoken to in a couple of years or more, nonetheless, and who had shown NO interest in our lives up until now. Edited June 2, 2014 by mercuryshadow Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 (edited) P.S. as a newlywed, I offer a piece of advice Always make your nice guy (now nice husband) - feel admired, respected and desired and "da man". Respect/admiration and desire (through good frequent sex and compliments) means love to a man. When it drops or goes away - no amount of words of "I love you" will counter it. Best wishes - sounds like you do have a nice one (great he showed you the texts! honest man too). Edited June 2, 2014 by dichotomy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mercuryshadow Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 Thanks, dichotomy, and your advice is appreciated. I'll never take for granted those things about my H that makes him such a "nice guy." I lucked out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 3) Just being nice - "Hey Ya know you really were a nice guy and I am truly happy for you, you deserve a great gal this made my day to see you find your love" ^^^ Most of the times it's just this. There are still nice people out there that want good things for us. Hate to think we're all cynical and jaded to the point that we have to assign an ulterior motive to every action... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts