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money discussions


JustAGirl

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hey guys!

 

phew, my bf sure keeps me entertained lately... here's a relatively new issue:

 

I work (lil things from home (like translations), but keeps me busy & makes me some money)

 

He worked in the summer, made like 2000, spent a lil over half on a new computer, the rest - mostly on going out with me...

 

He's recently informed me that it's costly to keep me happy (this was in a discussion & he tried to take it back, but it already slipped out)The discussion started with him wondering if he shd get a job... i said maybe so, cuz he has a lot of free time & he's sometimes bugging me that i'm too busy... he said one of the reasons he'd want a job is cuz he's running out of money & can't even get smth as good as he'd like to for me for valentine's... i said money doesnt measure love, etc - which is when that comment slipped out.

 

(Sorry for making this long)

 

I am wondering what I should do.

 

Before coming to canada, his family was very rich, and he still feels a bit awkward cuz their life here is a lot poorer. So every time i demand to pay for myself, it hurts his pride... On the other hand, he is running out of money, and knowing that makes him wanna pay more for me (i can see how he's feeling but... )

 

Suggestions??

 

Is it normal that he's talking bout this instead of simply looking for a job?? I'm not sure what to do & what kind of present to give him (can't make it expensive now, even though i could afford smth nice)... He also refuses to let me pay on dates...

 

Opinions plz?

 

THANKS!

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Money is one of the more critical issues in a long term relationship, particularly marriage. So if things are going in that direction, you have to get finances real clear in your minds.

 

Money matters are among the top three subjects of arguments between couples and amount the causes of divorce.

 

I don't understand why he hasn't gotten a job already. If he is running out of money, it's sort of the logical thing to do.

 

As far as him telling you that you are costly to keep happy, I think that was out of line.

 

It's pretty clear from all your posts that you have a lot of very critical issues to work out. I wish you would make one post and outline, briefly, in 1,2,3 format all the issues you are having to confront in this relationship.

 

Collectively, it just doesn't seem like you have a winner here. Work on this financial thing as soon as possible. Love functions much more smoothly with adequate funding, no matter how romantic you are.

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