Midwest guy Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Ok, now I need a ton of advice so let me begin. Ok so I called Lin earlier today she wasnt there, but I tried calling again, so her friend on her phone calls me back and says "this is her friend so so Lin just wanted me to tell you I dont have to call her all the time" I asked her if shes mad at me and her friend said she really isnt that mad. So I said ok and told her to have Lin call me back. They were all drinking in the background joking around and such. SO anyways Lindsay calls me back a couple minutes later. She actually called me this time. She said how I was doing and such I said fine and all. She told me I called her 3 times today which is not true. I only called her once. You know women tend to make things bigger then it sounds lol Anyways she was honest with me this time. She told me Im a nice guy and all, but she doesnt want to be boyfriend girlfriend. She said that she likes me as a friend of hers and all but she doesnt want to be bf, gf with me. She told me shes not my type and Im the total opposite of her. I asked her why she says that and she said cause shes into sports. Btw Ive told her before I LOVE hockey which you can tell by my avatar. Since shes a soccer gal I assume she means boys that play sports. I told her what I thought about her and that shes a pretty girl and I like her personality and all. I asked her if she could just be honest with me and upfront about why she doesnt like me in that way and she just said I wouldnt like her and that Im the total opposite. She said that we can talk at work and still be friends, but I asked her if she wanted to go hang out and she considers it dating and shes not really looking for that. So she calls me back a few mins later to chat a little more and she told me one of her college soccer friends who goes to another college now likes me and thinks Im cute guy, but us shy to talk to me and she said I should give her a call and talk to her cause she said she would be more my type so she gave me her number. She told me I should find myself another girl. So heres the question. I know alot of people post similar stuff on here about how women tell a guy they just want to be friends. I mean by friends that kinda hurts cause heres a single, pretty looking gal who says we can be friends and such, but we cant be romantic. This is almost more painful then getting flat out rejected and that women slapping you in the face cause shes so close yet so far. So by being friends does that mean maybe sometime in the future she would go out with me if I can somehow make the friendship closer? I read on alot of sites that being friends wfirst is good. So should I give her friend a call? Her friend is cute and all, but I think Lin is prettier. her friend is a nice person too and very polite young lady. Im glad she threw it all out at me tonight and was honest with me. She said she wasnt mad but calling her up at school said was creeping her out a bit. I asked her why when I only called her a few times the past month. She said she doesnt really know why, but said I smotherd her at work, and by calling her and she felt pressures she said at work it was borderline harassment almost. Why didnt she tell me all this before face to face? Could it be cause she didnt want to hurt my feelings? Cause even tonight when I asked her to be honest to me she hesitated a little. Also her friend that likes me even told Lindsay that Im a nice guy and she could give me a shot. Is it nice on Lindsays part that she told me about her friend? If her friend likes me should I give her a call then? I mean I feel sad right now, but at the same time glad I got a upfront awnser. Im just puzzled why she said shes not my type and Im not hers? People say Im a nice guy yet I have no luck,. Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Ok..... By saying that she wants to be friends she's just trying to let you down easy. By that she means she doesn't want to go out with you, she doesn't want to hang with you, but if she passes you by in day to day life she will say hi how's it going? She must think that your a half desent guy other wise she wouldn't be trying to set you up with her friend. Call her friend. But..... if your intentions are to go out with her friend just to get closer to her don't waste your time. To many hearts will get broken including yours. Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Midwest forget her. She is not interested, lets be freinds is a blatant insult. Shes only saying she has a freind for u cause she wants u to stop annoying her. Move on man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midwest guy Posted February 12, 2005 Author Share Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by carla Ok..... By saying that she wants to be friends she's just trying to let you down easy. By that she means she doesn't want to go out with you, she doesn't want to hang with you, but if she passes you by in day to day life she will say hi how's it going? She must think that your a half desent guy other wise she wouldn't be trying to set you up with her friend. Call her friend. But..... if your intentions are to go out with her friend just to get closer to her don't waste your time. To many hearts will get broken including yours. They hang out alot so I mean If I do decided to ask her friend out or hang out with her friend chances are that Lin could be along of course. If I ask her friend out and Lin around of course I wont hit on Lindsay cause Im going out with her friend plus thats rude. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midwest guy Posted February 12, 2005 Author Share Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by AndrewJ Midwest forget her. She is not interested, lets be freinds is a blatant insult. Shes only saying she has a freind for u cause she wants u to stop annoying her. Move on man. I think your right about insult. is that why girls use the term "lets be friends" excuse to guys all the time? At least the way I read it on here thats why girls say alot. Her friend is a little flirty with me. Like one night we were walking at work and she was flirting a little with me and wanted to hold my hand lol, but Lindsay was there and I didnt want to do that infront of her. In a way I kinda brushed her off maybe even cause I was interested in Lin not her. Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Women or girls say that they want to be friends because they are to kind hearted to blantly come and say. You are to fat or ugly or obnoxious or rude or whatever to go out with you. Now that is going to the extreme. I'm not saying that you are any of thos things. But their is no spark in you for Lin. But on the hand her friend has found that spark. SO....... if you like her friend go for it. You say that her friend isn't as pretty as Lin while beauty is only skin deep. If you look into a persons inner beauty that is where you will find LOVE. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midwest guy Posted February 12, 2005 Author Share Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by carla Women or girls say that they want to be friends because they are to kind hearted to blantly come and say. You are to fat or ugly or obnoxious or rude or whatever to go out with you. Now that is going to the extreme. I'm not saying that you are any of thos things. But their is no spark in you for Lin. But on the hand her friend has found that spark. SO....... if you like her friend go for it. You say that her friend isn't as pretty as Lin while beauty is only skin deep. If you look into a persons inner beauty that is where you will find LOVE. I might give her friend a call today. Im still disappointed though cause I liked her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midwest guy Posted February 12, 2005 Author Share Posted February 12, 2005 Also Im kinda glad at least I got this whole thing off my back. I mean over the summer if I dont go out with this other chick I might make some moves on her again. At least I can rest a little easier. Anyways if I call this other girl today how should I talk to her and ask her out without freaking her out like I did with Lin? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 MW.. I'm sorry things turned out the way they did.. When someone tells you they don't want to date you, they don't like you in a romantic way, and follows up with your calling them is not only smothering them.. that they consider it borderline harrassment the best thing to do is.. BELIEVE THEM and then LEAVE THEM ALONE. I think it was inconsiderate for her to have her friend tell you that she doesn't want you calling her.. IMO she should've been to the point with you a long time ago.. although I did think (from what you've said in previous threads) that she wasn't interested in dating I think because you liked her so much.. it wasn't something you wanted to believe.. With that said MW.. think about this.. you've said you like her right? What exactly is it you like so much? This is a person who number one has been talking smack to her friends about you.. has consistently blown you off and not returned phone calls, has straight up told you that you "creep her out" so yeah.. I'm having a hard time understanding why you would want to date someone like that.. keep in mind MW that a "pretty package" doesn't always mean a "pretty PERSON" do you see what I'm saying? Last thing regarding HER FRIEND.. My take.. DON'T call her friend.. please think about this for a minute.. Lindsey has told HER FRIENDS that you call her all of the time.. they all know that she's blown you off etc.. and she's told you (and them) that you've smotherd her and creeped her out with the phone calls.. so this "Friend" of hers.. and please know I'm not saying this to be mean to you MW.. you're a sweetheart and I mean that.. BUT why is it IF this other girl is such a "Good Friend" of hers would Lindsey just be trying to "help her friend out" in trying to hook her up with someone that she says gives her the creeps and thinks has been borderline harrassing her? Sorry MW.. but I think she's full of sh*t and either this other girl really isn't interested in you but Lindsey is wanting to *pawn you off on her* so you stop calling her, OR this girl may or may not have an interest in you (Lindsey isn't sure) but none the less she's hoping if she gives you something else to do (someone else to call) you'll leave her alone.. bottomline MW.. IF a guy I didn't have a romantic interest in kept calling me and it made me feel creeped out or harrassed.. I would NEVER try to hook him up with another one of my friends.. do you understand what I'm saying? You're a nice person MW.. don't let a "pretty package" determine if a girl is worth persuing.. while its all good to want to date someone who is nice to look at.. if they are bankrupt in other ways then you know what it isn't going to matter. You'll find someone else who IS excited when you call them and who will want to spend time with you.. it just isn't going to be Lindsey.. and honestly if it turned out to be one of her friends.. I would be suprised... Good Luck MW.. hang in there Link to post Share on other sites
Hund1976 Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 I say go ahead and call the friend, what have you really got to lose? Maybe after you get to know her you'll think she's really cool, even if you don't think she's as cute right now. If she goes to another school her and Lindsay might not talk that often so she probably didn't tell her that you call her too much. Hopefully you learned something through this ordeal and you can use it in the future with other girls. Dating is like fishing, you have to throw a little bait out there and then wait for them to bite. If you jump in the pond you scare all the fish away. And you have to realize sometimes the fish just aren't biting and there's nothing you can do about it but be patient and wait until they are again. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midwest guy Posted February 12, 2005 Author Share Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by Hund1976 I say go ahead and call the friend, what have you really got to lose? Maybe after you get to know her you'll think she's really cool, even if you don't think she's as cute right now. If she goes to another school her and Lindsay might not talk that often so she probably didn't tell her that you call her too much. Hopefully you learned something through this ordeal and you can use it in the future with other girls. Dating is like fishing, you have to throw a little bait out there and then wait for them to bite. If you jump in the pond you scare all the fish away. And you have to realize sometimes the fish just aren't biting and there's nothing you can do about it but be patient and wait until they are again. Good luck! So you mean this time around dont pester this girl all the time and turn her off like I did to Lindsay? If I do will I have the same result? She told me I "smothered her" by calling her all the time and asking her out at work everyday. WHy dont girls like it when you are persistant with them for? Can you give me advice on how to talk to this girl? Shes a cute nice gal too, and she told Lin she thinks Im a good guy and that she should give me a shot but Lindsay told her shes not dating right now. Lin told me this girl would be my type and that she said she likes me. Link to post Share on other sites
rowi1116 Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 anyone that lin has socialized with recently must be aware of her feelings against the two of you ever having a relationship, honestly, dont call this girl Lin recommended. step out of that circle. it will be better for you to find a girl not associated with Lin. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Hund1976 Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 If a girl likes you she won't mind you calling her, the first girl only complained because she wasn't interested in you. But for future girls just take it easy. Try not to let yourself get all into them before you've even had a date. Don't call them every day until you've been on multiple dates and you're exclusivly dating. Girls like people who seem a little challenging so don't let her think you're throwing yourself at her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midwest guy Posted February 12, 2005 Author Share Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by Hund1976 If a girl likes you she won't mind you calling her, the first girl only complained because she wasn't interested in you. But for future girls just take it easy. Try not to let yourself get all into them before you've even had a date. Don't call them every day until you've been on multiple dates and you're exclusivly dating. Girls like people who seem a little challenging so don't let her think you're throwing yourself at her. So I shouldnt ask them out everyday I see them? If I hit on Lindsay again when she comesback to work could I get fired if she got mad enough at me and told on me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midwest guy Posted February 13, 2005 Author Share Posted February 13, 2005 I sent her friend a voicemail. I dunno if I should have sent a voice mail cause I hate voicemail. When you leave a voicemail it leaves your number right? My phone when you leave a voice message it says the persons number. Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 Midwest, Walkaway from this Lindasy and anyone assoicaiated with her. You are dying a detah of a thousand cuts. Steer clear brother Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midwest guy Posted February 13, 2005 Author Share Posted February 13, 2005 So what happens if I hang out with her friend and Lindsays there and I try to hit on Lin and put my arm around her and all? Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 She will be repulsed midwest. Your advances are futile with this girl. Don't hang with her freind either or ypur else you will cause more greif for yourself. No one needs a restraining order. Link to post Share on other sites
Strike3 Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 I'm willing to bet that she gave you her friends number as a joke. Forget about this chick and her friends. There are tons of girls out there, move on with life bro. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midwest guy Posted February 13, 2005 Author Share Posted February 13, 2005 Originally posted by Strike3 I'm willing to bet that she gave you her friends number as a joke. Forget about this chick and her friends. There are tons of girls out there, move on with life bro. I heard a bunch of girls in the background when she was on the phone with me. What do you think she tol dher friends about me? Like she had one of her friends call me for her and told me Lin doesnt want me calling all the time. Even though shes nice and polite to me if I got her mad enough when shes down or if I made moves on her should I worry about someone like her dad beating my ass? Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 MW You sent her a voice mail, hopefully leaving your number, and if not she's aready got it from Lin. So..... now the ball is in her court. If she calls great. If she doesn't call, don't beat yourself up about it and move one. Maybe these girls are playing head games with you and who needs that? There is a whole sea of fish out there, if the fish aren't biting move your boat to a new location. Link to post Share on other sites
roxy_1980 Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 Having been a girl that's been stalked by a guy in the past, I'll give you this advice. Back off. Distance yourself from all of her social circles. You keep talking about hanging out with her friend in an attempt to get with her. That's low and being a user. You're just gonna get her friend hurt and Lin will hate you for it. And you keep talking about what if I asked Lin this or that and what would happen. It's starting to seem stalking-like to me. In the future, ask a girl out once then let it go. Personally, once I've gotten to know someone fairly well I know if I want to date him or not and it's not likely to change. Of course, you need to time when you ask. Make sure you've had some time for her to evaluate if she likes you or not first. Otherwise, she'll say not anyway. And asking again after a no becomes needy and clingy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midwest guy Posted February 13, 2005 Author Share Posted February 13, 2005 Originally posted by roxy_1980 Having been a girl that's been stalked by a guy in the past, I'll give you this advice. Back off. Distance yourself from all of her social circles. You keep talking about hanging out with her friend in an attempt to get with her. That's low and being a user. You're just gonna get her friend hurt and Lin will hate you for it. And you keep talking about what if I asked Lin this or that and what would happen. It's starting to seem stalking-like to me. In the future, ask a girl out once then let it go. Personally, once I've gotten to know someone fairly well I know if I want to date him or not and it's not likely to change. Of course, you need to time when you ask. Make sure you've had some time for her to evaluate if she likes you or not first. Otherwise, she'll say not anyway. And asking again after a no becomes needy and clingy. So other words I did all the wrong things in the book with Lindsay? Like asking her out all the time, buying her the gift card ect? Is that why she told me the other day Im smothering her? I thought if I gave her tons of attention she would like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Midwest guy Posted February 13, 2005 Author Share Posted February 13, 2005 Also I heard her brother is a really big guy too. If I called her house when shes down could that get her dad and brother pissed? Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 Hello Midwest Guy, This is one of many threads you have started on the same topic, and as always you have received the same, invariant feedback, which apparently you don't agree with. That is all right, of course, you must live your life as you see fit, and make the choices that seem right to you. But there is no further point in discussing the situation regarding a girl you are determined to pursue, despite everyone, including her, asking you not to. Once again your threads are beginning to attract negative posts from frustrated members who don't understand why you don't seem to be able to understand what they are saying. This thread is closed. I hope that you will move on from this topic, Midwest guy. I think that at this point it will be best if you do not start any more threads on this subject, or anything related to it (e.g. your hopes for taking her out for dinner, or to a movie, and seeking advice about where to go on such hypothetical dates with her) for at least the next month. Nor may you inject your issue(s) into threads started by other members. It appears that you're using this site to perpetuate your hopes on that front, and it doesn't seem to be doing you, or this community, much good. We all wish you well, and of course you're more than welcome to continue to post on this site regarding other issues. If you have questions about our request to cease posting on this topic, please send us an email using "Contact Us." Best wishes, midori Link to post Share on other sites
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