WTH? A mystery woman I've lusted over materialzed in my living room.

[svc]

The most insane thing has happened to me and I cannot help but think there is a deeper meaning to it all....

 

 

I live in a large city. Over the past few years there has been a woman at my doctor's office that I find very attractive. I've only talked to her briefly with no small talk. Due to my marriage being a train wreck, I've found myself daydreaming about her on occasion. Mostly sexual fantasy stuff...

 

 

So after about 3 years of fantasizing about this woman, I come home from work one day and the same mystery/fantasy woman is sitting on my couch in my living room. Turns out my wife met her through mutual friends and they have been hanging out for well over a year. I just happened to be home when she was around.

 

 

After my wife introduced us, I said I've seen you before at my doctor's office. Her reply was, "That's actually my twin sister."

 

 

I can't help but think I'm being tested in some epic way. I'm trying to put my marriage back together and now it looks like I'll have to deal with some silly fantasy woman's identical twin that I never imagined would be so close to home. What makes me more uncomfortable is my wife's friend seems way more flirty / outgoing than her twin's personality. As I was speaking to her a little voice in my head said, "Well, here is where your affair starts..."

 

 

Looks like I'm going to see A LOT more of this woman in the near future. How do I even deal with something this bizzare? I'm guessing full disclosure with my wife is off the table?

[Under The Radar]

This is what masturbation is for.

 

 

If you are trying to reconcile your marriage then don't even think about hooking up with this woman.

[No Limit]

As I was speaking to her a little voice in my head said, "Well, here is where your affair starts..."

 

Then your heart is not in this marriage and all reconciliation will be in vain anyway. Divorce first though before chasing after your little fantasy.

[Michelle ma Belle]

You sound like a man who has already made up his mind on this one.

[serial muse]

Hi, OP. I remember your other thread. (Um, what about Leslie, anyway?? Have you already moved on from that?)

 

Sounds to me like you're really looking around for signs that it's OK, in fact that it's "fated", for you to leave your marriage. That the universe really wants your marriage to end, and is trying like hell to get your attention to tell you so. I mean, heck, you randomly reconnected with the "love of your life" on FB because you were both thinking about each other! Then you met this woman, whose twin sister you have been quietly lusting after! Signs, signs, everywhere signs!

 

Or...not. Here's the thing - the universe doesn't care, and whether or not you stay married is irrelevant, as far as Fate is concerned. Sometimes you just have to make the decision on your own. Yes, your wife will be upset. Yes, you will doubt your decision and second-guess yourself, and yes, you might be alone for a while and there's a very good chance that none of this other stuff you're fantasizing about will work out.

 

But it sounds an awful lot like the subtext here is that you want out of your marriage. The rest of it is just obfuscation, I'm afraid. No one's going to hand you your decision; people do fall into affairs because they've taken the more passive approach to their ailing relationships, and it's more fun to start something new than to end/repair something existing. At least in the short term. But fate has nothing to do with that; it's just passivity. And people do get hurt.

 

I would advise you to be active, not passive, about your marriage. Decide what you want to do, and focus on that.

[Frank2thepoint]

As I was speaking to her a little voice in my head said, "Well, here is where your affair starts..."

 

Why did you even get married in the first place?