cadence40 Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 My MM spends 0$ on me. I however spend tons on his habit. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 This is the ickiest thread I have seen in a long time. "Letting men take care of you" is the old fashioned word for "being kept". I can't even fully analyze why this thought nauseates me...but it surely does. Link to post Share on other sites
kiababy Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 I hate to admit it but out of the three MM's I have had - I have received $0 also. MM#1 used to take me out for lunch but I never drink and I don't eat a lot (mainly a bowl of soup and a glass of water), so his favourite line was always: "You're a cheap date". MM#2 would also take me out for lunch occasionally but always seemed to be 'short', so most of the time I would pay at least half. Oh wait, he did buy me a Chai Tea after the basketball game I took him to last weekend. Whoop-de-do. MM#3 - has no money. He and the missus are just starting out and I buy him lunch and whatever else. He liked my electric toothbrush so I bought him one (better than mine) to keep at my house. He's a huge football fanatic so for his birthday I bought him a $100.00 official NFL football. He loves that damn thing and told me he would lie on the couch and toss it up in the air while he watched football all day (bless his sexy heart). He knows I make a lot more money than he does, but the good thing is he has never asked to borrow a dime from me. Link to post Share on other sites
kiababy Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 ....it sounds like I'm carrying on with 3 MM's at a time - I'm not. "MM#1' and 'MM#2' are from my past and are divorced and separated respectively. Link to post Share on other sites
cadence40 Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 .The first mm i had a couple years ago spent $o. the one i am with now spends nothing except for an occasional lunch on company credit card..He has tons of money..however his wife watches every penny & gives him an allowance.since he started with me about a year ago he finally had a fight with her & got his allowance increased to $100 per week.. aside from being a crossdresser,he has an expensive cigar habit.I do spend money on him buying him ladies clothes,clothes,shoes wigs make-up..not a cheap man. I do not mind spending money on him as i get the benefit of his time.He will come from anywhere @ anytime i can get away with it to be with me..I see him 2 to 3 times a week,he comes from out of state to be with me. sometimes we just sit around drink cofee,talk & read the newspaper..It is not all about sex.. I did not think after reaDing your post that you had 3 @ a time. It was well written. cadence Link to post Share on other sites
joodee Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 Originally posted by CurlyIam Hon, what if after that he wants to get in a Phd programme? It lasts 3 years here, but could go up to 5... I'm exagerating, of course. I think he sould f*cking keep paying, especially since you ARE a secret. Ok, here's what I think: I think he understood you care/love him more than he actually loves you and uses it to manipulate you. So I think you should turn the tables. This is so NOT about money. At least not only. It's about control. I think you should see other people, even if it means paying your bills. I think that you wouldn't believe how good it feels not to have that pressure on your chest. I mean, WTF? Why should you give HIM a good relationship, a faithfull, paying gf? HE should pay through his nose this affair, because you get the unfair treatment here. Because he changed his mind. Don't give in on this. Remember that you are in control, not him, even less his W. And that you can (and should) leave him anytime you feel the terms of the affair are not Favourable to YOU. I don't agree to affairs, but hell, women should stick together. I appreciate what you wrote, you're right. I'm trying to break it off with him, it's difficult. Turns out it wasn't really about the money he spends on me, what he really wants is me not to leave him. And you are right, he is trying to manipulate me because that's the only way he knows how to deal with women, and I think he's starting to figure out that manipulation is no longer working with me, cause I figured it out. I think. And about this thread being "icky", I think it's a great thread cause it's opening up a great discussion about a big aspect of the OW relationship with the MM that's not normally talked about. It's really putting things in perspective. I don't know how or why the OW's that have MM that don't pay for things stay. Why do you that are in that situation stay? Not that we are supposed to be financially "kept," but even with past boyfriends (single and available ones), they paid for dates, I would pay sometimes, give gifts, they gave me gifts, etc....it's just the gentlemanly thing to do. I can't pay for guys on a normal basis, I would feel that I was being taken advantage of, that the man doesn't want to take care of things, and this goes for both single men and MM's. This thread is really making me about everything in relationships... Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 I stayed because he made me feel special.. corny as that may sound. The attention he payed to me was worth more than a few dollars he might have spent on me.. Link to post Share on other sites
iwhisper4u Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 wow... touchy thread here! Cheap MMs? I am sure there are plenty out there, but if I wouldn't spend time with a cheap single guy, why would I bother with a cheap married guy? Seems to me a married man should treat you BETTER than a single guy! Anyway, my MM and I have been together almost 5 years and he takes care of anything that I might need, never shows up at my door empty-handed, takes me shopping if I ask him to, puts gas in my car, gives me spending money for the salon or whatever. He never forgets my birthday or Valentine's Day and spoils me rotten at Christmas. I travel with him on business trips if he wants me to. If I can't he brings me back something lovely. Sure, he probably treats the wife the same, and that is fine with me, just so long as he keeps me happy. Link to post Share on other sites
izzybelle Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 if I wouldn't spend time with a cheap single guy, why would I bother with a cheap married guy? Seems to me a married man should treat you BETTER than a single guy! how much a guy could spend on me has never been important to me in any relationship. i have no doubt that if we had stayed together longer that my exMM would have also invited me on business trips and such. but that only would have happened if his marriage had really ended. yes, it's nice being pampered but personally, whether it's from a single guy or a married man, to me it's the non-material things that are the priceless part of a relationship. but then again, i've never been one to equate money with happiness so i've never expected it. and honestly one of the nicest gifts i've ever received was a drawing my exH did for me when we were dating. a very "cheap" gift. it's like the stuff from my kids, it's the meaning that counts. but we're all different and if that's what makes you happy, i'm glad he's able to do that for you! so if he showed up at your door empty handed, would you let him in? Link to post Share on other sites
MsMree Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 aside from being a crossdresser,he has an expensive cigar habit.I do spend money on him buying him ladies clothes,clothes,shoes wigs make-up..not a cheap man. Wow, Cadence - you could start a whole new post w/the info. you shared!! Link to post Share on other sites
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