I like another girl but I have a girlfriend

[homuraakemi0775]

First off, I am also a girl. It wasn't until around this time last year that I had begun to seriously question my sexuality when I first made out with a girl at a house party. I never thought I was gay for a long time, so when I finally figured it out, I was just so happy! It was as if I had finally given myself the ok to actually pursue girls and let myself want to be with them in the way I always imagined, without even knowing myself.

 

..Anyway, one of my friends who is a lesbian was the girl I made out with last year. She was also one of the very many girl-crushes I've had on my friends over the years before I knew I was gay. I was attracted to her to begin with since she's really funny and nice, cool, easy to talk to, and we have a fair amount of things in common. (And if I'm being totally honest, SHE HAS REALLY NICE BOOBS). After the brief make out session with her, I knew I wanted to kiss girls again, so I always kind of thought of her as the extra push I needed to get me to realize I was gay but I didn't like her that way.

 

Now I've been dating my first girlfriend for 6 months, we were friends for a few months before but we began dating not too long after I realized I was gay. Things were going extremely well until a couple of my friends and I got drunk last week and decided it would be funny to all kiss each other. As you might have guessed, I ended up making out with my lesbian friend a second time, which wouldn't have been a big deal except I enjoyed a little more than I should have.. We were also alone when it happened again, so it wasn't giggly and silly like kissing your friends usually feels like, but more serious and hesitant. She was kissing and giggling with all my other friends and it was just supposed to be one of those silly things you do when you're feeling buzzed and happy, right? It should have been that way but I haven't been able to get her and the kiss out of my head since!

 

I feel extremely guilty, because I really do love my girlfriend and care about her. It isn't the fact that I kissed someone else I'm worried about, it's how it made me feel, and how it's making me question how I really feel about both her and my girlfriend. My girlfriend is such a sweetheart, and I'd hate myself if I ever hurt her, but on the other hand I don't wanna be around her now when I know she's gonna be so amazing and wonderful and make me feel nice when all I think about when I'm with her is if I really feel the same way about her. I'm just so guilty for potentially putting our relationship at risk when we have such a good bond.

 

So, I'm just confused about what I'm feeling right now and I wondered if the fact that my friend is the person who made me realize I was gay has played a part in all of this and if that's the reason I feel so strongly about our kiss. Or maybe am I just not ready to be "tied-down" in a relationship yet, since my gf and I did get together fairly quickly and maybe I still wanna have fun? Ahh, I didn't mean to make this so long, but I'm just really confused and desperate for some advice.. I can't really ask anyone either because my friends are her friends too!

[Omei]

You feel guilty because what you did was cheat on your gf, being a lesbian doesn't give you special exception rules during drunken games.

 

If you're in the experimental stage where you have many crushes and feel the need to explore them then you need to let your current gf go.

 

"silly thing you do when your buzzed and happy with friends" is some wording you put together to justify your actions to lesson your guilt.

 

Kissing someone else whilst having a gf is cheating no matter how you tell the story.

Edited June 4, 2014 by Omei

[umirano]

It's hard to disagree with Omei here... OP, put yourself in your GFs shoes. How would you feel if she came and told you a story just like yours? Would you believe her? Trust her afterwards that you're the one for her?

 

You're young, it's ok to want to go and explore more and fall out of love eventually. But you got to be upfront to her if you have any respect for your GF.

[Dark Holy]

OP I think I found your spine in my back yard, do you want it?

[No Limit]

You cheated and now you're feeling guilty. Break up with her if you want to continue to make out, what's the problem here anyway? If you are so uncertain about your feelings for your GF that you have to cheat, there's not much truth in them anyway.

 

OP I think I found your spine in my back yard, do you want it?

 

That's not a spine, it's a spade.

Edited June 4, 2014 by No Limit

[danny12]

First of all, you LOVE your gf, I mean actually LOVE.

 

 

Right now your infatuated with this new girl. That's okay. I mean U did cheat which you shouldn't do. But just to calm you down, its infatuation, not love for the new girl.

 

 

When your in a relationship your supposed to cut off things like that bcause it is possible to like more than one person at a time. Your emotions don't really shut off. Your supposed to refrain from taking things further. With that being said, if you love your current gf you need to refrain from contacting this new girl now.