the one

[V]

I work with a guy that I like a lot. We have a lot in common and share the same interests. We're both rather shy, so it's difficult to read him. Sometimes he talks to me a lot and other times he doesn't say a thing. Maybe even seems like he's avoiding me. It's almost impossible to figure him out. He has a look in his eyes sometimes that makes me feel weird in the pit of my stomach. A good weird. I just wish there was something I could say or do to know for sure if he likes me or doesn't think anything of me. Is there a way? I'm too afraid of rejection to ask him out, and it would seem weird.

[girl's view]

perhaps you could ask him to go somewhere with you on lunch break - a cafe, a park, a bar, or just for a wander around the streets. you know that you have a lot in common and share the same interests, so even if you asked him to go somewhere with you that you know he would like too, be it to a record store to check out some cd's - the options are endless. it would also be a good start without coming on too strong. you don't have to let him know how you feel straight away. it might scare him off if you do. just take your time.

 

don't be afraid to ask him somewhere for lunch. people go out to lunch with their workmates all the time. i'm not the most extroverted of people, but i've had lunch with male work colleagues. it's a great opportunity to chat without other people around and get to know each other a bit better. at least this way, you'll be able to know if it's worth pursuing something with him. and if it is worth taking it further, you'll be more comfortable with it because you've taken the time to get to know him better.

 

one word of advice though - check the company's policy regarding work relationships - a lot of company's don't permit it, mainly because there is the potential for it to interfere with your work, especially if things don't work out in the long run. you wouldn't want to jeopardise anyone's position in the company, including your own.

I work with a guy that I like a lot. We have a lot in common and share the same interests. We're both rather shy, so it's difficult to read him. Sometimes he talks to me a lot and other times he doesn't say a thing. Maybe even seems like he's avoiding me. It's almost impossible to figure him out. He has a look in his eyes sometimes that makes me feel weird in the pit of my stomach. A good weird. I just wish there was something I could say or do to know for sure if he likes me or doesn't think anything of me. Is there a way? I'm too afraid of rejection to ask him out, and it would seem weird.

[Tony T]

First of all, getting something going at work is very risky and can lead to very awkward moments, gossip, discomfort, etc. but if you're willing to risk that then go for it.

 

You need to encourage this guy by flirting with him, talking to him, seeming interested, etc.

 

Ask him what he's doing for lunch one day and invite him to have lunch with you. That will give you an opportunity to learn more about him. Or invite him to some special event on a weekend...one that is NOT romantic. Just some special event at your town that might interest him.

 

It looks like you're going to have to take the initiative here. Then he'll have to go from there.

 

Rejection will not kill you or incapacitate you in any way if it comes to that. A rejection of an invitation is NOT a rejection of you personally. It's a rejection of an invitation or an idea. He does not know you well enough to reject you so just get that out of your mind.