My bf is seeing escorts

[Broken0374]

My live in bf of a little over a year was single before me and used escorts. I knew of it but it was his past. Him and I are inseparable except when he's working and so perfect together.i never doubt his love for me even now I know he loves me. But I have seen numerous #s on his phone and written down in his truck or on work orders. When I google them they are all escorts. In his gps there was an address for a hotel. I confronted him and he was DEVESTATED denied it. Said that they call him when they are in town or free and he hasn't been with anyone but me. I believed him. Just a few days ago he called someone and it was an escort he also had written down a # on a notebook in his truck and it was another escort. I'm so lost hurt confused I want so badly for it not to be true. I doubt everything now. He's so loving and reassuring but in my heart I believe he is seeing them what other explanation could

There be? He had struggled with addiction in his past. He's addicted to work I believe he's addicted to sex as well. We have an amazing sex life. Can men like this change do I stay and fight for us or walk away. I'm so broken and scared. I love what we have and this far I've chosen to be blind. It's slowly killing me. When we are together I feel his love we haven't slept apart since we met and e holds me all night.

[d0nnivain]

He has a whore Madonna complex. Good news is you are the Madonna. Bad news is he's having sex with whores.

 

 

Escorts don't call you. You call them. If he hadn't been with one, why on earth would there have been a hotel in his GPS? Of course he's cheating on you & paying for the privilege. Wake up!

 

 

You need to make a doctor's appointment right now & get checked. Do not have any sort of sex with anybody until you know you are disease free.

 

 

Then figure out a plan to move out. He will not stop & you can't trust him no matter how sorry he says he is.

 

 

If you don't believe me, invest in a private detective to show you the sordid pictures. Maybe you will believe your own eyes.

[CarrieT]

I confronted him and he was DEVESTATED denied it.

Google "gaslighting" and see if it rings true. He will turn it all on you and make you believe you are imaging things.

 

We have an amazing sex life.

Probably doesn't matter. It is the rush he is seeking, not the orgasm.

 

I love what we have and this far I've chosen to be blind. It's slowly killing me.

Time to not be blind. He is cheating and if he is not using protection, he could be doing a lot more damage to you if he gives you a disease.

 

When we are together I feel his love we haven't slept apart since we met and e holds me all night.

Nope. You are feeling what you want to feel, not what he is offering.

 

The first thing you should do is stop having sex until you get tested for STDs and demand that he get tested as well. Personally, I would have nothing to do with him until all is laid bare; counseling to determine why he feels the need to do this and why he is continuing to lie about it.

[cenz]

one question tho, how do you manage to accept his past of using escort service? i wouldn't be able to do that, I'll just live in constant insecurities and it will drive me up the wall

[Zahara]

My live in bf of a little over a year was single before me and used escorts. I knew of it but it was his past.

 

With all the evidence that you have, and the fact that he has a past with escorts, it's pretty obvious that he is sleeping with escorts. You're in denial.

 

Escorts do not call you. It's a business. You call them to purchase their services.

 

When we are together I feel his love we haven't slept apart since we met and e holds me all night.

 

People can play the part of being the loving and caring partner, even when they're cheating behind your back.

 

Holding you and loving you is his way of appeasing you and blinding you from what he's doing.

 

Please get tested for STDs. Use protection. You are clearly putting yourself at risk if you continue with this man.

[d0nnivain]

OP sorry to thread jack but I don't think cenz can get PMs yet:

 

 

one question tho, how do you manage to accept his past of using escort service? i wouldn't be able to do that, I'll just live in constant insecurities and it will drive me up the wall

 

 

 

Cenz:

 

 

In your thread I wanted you to think about differentiating bad contact with other people & polite contact.

 

 

Your BF reaching out to make sure an EX was not harmed in a riot was a kind polite gesture.

 

 

Broken0374's BF is having sex with escorts & lying to her about it. This is bad contact. Refusing to put up with this, past or present is a sign of having self respect. It's not an insecurity. It's self preservation.

 

 

Please tell me you see the difference between the 2 situations?

[No Limit]

Escorts don't call you. You call them.

 

This is practically all you need to know.

 

Either you accept that he's cheating or you break up and move on, there's nothing in between. And no, he won't stop with this behavior because it's become a habit of his (hence his lying). You can't change someone, never could, so in this relationship you'll always be 2nd choice.

 

He won't stop, and only you can end it.

[ascendotum]

In cities escorts don't call clients, but if the OP/bf live in a semi rural area it might be possible for when the 'girls are in town' like he said. Some escorts actually do travel to different cities/towns, so that's possible I believe. That would account for 'incoming calls' though not outgoing, though its possible he missed the call and called back to see who called him, but when if its a fresh outgoing - no reply call, then that's a different story. Also if he called the number more than once, I'd love to see how he explains those.

 

The escort numbers written down in on the paperwork in his truck, well that's a different story. Same as the hotel in his gps. I would have loved to have heard the story he came up with to explain those specific items of incrimination.

 

Someone said hire a PI, well if you want to go cheaper hire/buy a gps tracking device and put it on his truck. Personally though I think you are better off saving the money, as I'd say its odds on he still gets off on the thrill of seeing them, regardless of the great sex you have.