My boyfriend didn't buy me an Anniversary gift? :(

[KaliLove]

I don't like to hear things like this. I don't like to hear them because there is a lot that isn't being said here. Anniversaries are mainly things that women care about rather than men, to be sure. However, if I may ask, did he acknowledge other holidays like your birthday or Christmas or V Day? If the answer is no for all of them, then you are in trouble.

 

 

I am not a materialistic person either, but I acknowledge and celebrate holidays. When the man does not acknowledge or celebrate a holiday, he is saying that he doesn't care that much about you. He MAY say that he just doesn't care about holidays, but what he is really saying is that he doesn't care about YOUR happiness during the holidays. I would also like to point out that the type of gift is also important. If he gets you nothing, or if he gets you something that isn't romantic (things which aren't flowers or candy or jewelry oriented) that means he doesn't love you. He might care for you, but he doesn't love you. I have seen this proven to me time and time again with my own and others' experiences with men.

 

 

As for your situation, I think you must reconsider a lot of things with him. The best thing to do now is (if you haven't already) to back off and not get that cross engraved chain. Also, be just as distant with him. He'll come back around.

 

Yes you are. Very much so.

[Phoe]

, or if he gets you something that isn't romantic (things which aren't flowers or candy or jewelry oriented) that means he doesn't love you.

 

This is SO SO SO untrue.

 

 

Some of the gifts I've been given include Angels baseball tickets, hiking and camping and shooting gear, special rocks like geodes and quartz, and a cat.

 

 

Those things mean a lot to me. I adore the angels, love the outdoors, am a major nerd for rocks, and feel very happy to have another animal to love.

 

 

My boyfriend is in love with me. Those things say so WAY more than flowers or a piece of jewelry.

[FitChick]

I don't celebrate dating anniversaries probably because I never remember them.

 

As for gifts, I am a practical person and might ask for a Kitchen Aid appliance. I like to cook. Hard to go wrong, unlike buying jewelry or clothing as I have very particular taste in those areas.

[Els]

We don't do anniversaries before marriage (frankly how do we even decide on a date for something that happened as naturally as the start of a R, I have no idea). But some couples do, that I know of. Thing is, for them, they communicated about it and were on the same page.

 

So, communicate. Don't expect him to read your mind.

[xxmusical]

My bf and I still celebrate dating anniversaries lol. We used to have fancy celebrations with gifts and everything, but it gets tiring planning what to do each year (been together 8 years! ), so now we usually just settle for a nice dinner. No gifts needed.

 

OP, was your bf aware of needing to celebrate the anniversary? Not all guys are aware (and remember) anniversary dates. Did you two ever say anything like, "it's gonna be our 1 year anniversary this Sunday! How should we celebrate?" Did you guys went out for dinner or a nice date? Did he perhaps pay for dinner? Gifts come in many forms.

 

If he promised to get you something next month, see if he acts on it.

[Els]

If he gets you nothing, or if he gets you something that isn't romantic (things which aren't flowers or candy or jewelry oriented) that means he doesn't love you.

 

On behalf of all the women who actually enjoy non-cliche gifts for birthdays and holidays, I'm saying: PLEASE don't listen to this, guys.

[ja123]

OP, google the 5 Love Languages. There's a book.

 

 

It sounds like you and your bf have different styles.

 

 

I also agree with the other posters who said you over-reacted and didn't communicate your expectations.

 

 

However, he did say he'd get you something and so far hasn't.

 

 

Perhaps discussing your love languages is a way to bring this up.

[Els]

This is SO SO SO untrue.

 

 

Some of the gifts I've been given include Angels baseball tickets, hiking and camping and shooting gear, special rocks like geodes and quartz, and a cat.

 

 

Those things mean a lot to me. I adore the angels, love the outdoors, am a major nerd for rocks, and feel very happy to have another animal to love.

 

 

My boyfriend is in love with me. Those things say so WAY more than flowers or a piece of jewelry.

 

Yep. The gifts my SO gives me are far better than those cliched gifts, as well. They show that he knows me and what I enjoy, rather than some bog-standard "A dating site told me to give you this so here you are".

 

Pigs must be flying today, but I actually agree with Keenly : mortensorchid's advice was terrible.

[todreaminblue]

This is SO SO SO untrue.

 

 

Some of the gifts I've been given include Angels baseball tickets, hiking and camping and shooting gear, special rocks like geodes and quartz, and a cat.

 

 

Those things mean a lot to me. I adore the angels, love the outdoors, am a major nerd for rocks, and feel very happy to have another animal to love.

 

 

My boyfriend is in love with me. Those things say so WAY more than flowers or a piece of jewelry.

 

 

 

oooh i got an african bull tail as a present ........its actually a 80 dollar fly swatter i didnt get it for any reason although i did ask do you think flies hang around me....we laughed alot about that right before we made love.......i told him flies often hang around if they smell sex......because sex smells sweet.......that was a random fact .....i shared with him.......a couple of weeks before

 

 

so a few weeks later he comes home with this african bull tail.......and a goofy grin sent the kids out with pocket money to hire a dvd always took at least an hour for them all to agree on one......we timed it one day.......so when they got back we were showered dressed and cooking dinner together.......how can i not appreciate that.......mightn't be diamond studded .....lol...but it rocked the bed with us in it thats for sure.......smilin......makes me smile even though we are no longer together........i still love him and many thoughtful things he has done and still does for me and our girls........just not in a bed rockin way.......lol...ahem....im out....smilin atcha phoe....deb

[Snakechammah]

For those of you who say guys don't remember anniversaries or mushy moments, well my boyfriend does and I am super thankful for it!

 

He will always greet me on the 4th of every month with something like "hey xxx months ago, we met on this day" or if it is the 14th of every month, he will wish me "Happy Monthversary!" just for the heck of it.

 

The point it... HE REMEMBERS and takes great pride in those special dates. It makes a girlfriend feels valued and I truly do appreciate these little gestures.

 

If a couple is in tune, it doesnt matter what the 'norm' is, as long as both are happy and fulfilled.

[Els]

For those of you who say guys don't remember anniversaries or mushy moments, well my boyfriend does and I am super thankful for it!

 

IMO (good) boyfriends definitely try to do something nice for special days - however, the definition of 'special day' differs quite substantially amongst individuals...

 

If a couple is in tune, it doesnt matter what the 'norm' is, as long as both are happy and fulfilled.

 

That's why the OP and her bf need to talk. It's not really fair for her to assume that he will automatically assign significance to a dating anniversary.

[stillafool]

I don't celebrate dating anniversaries probably because I never remember them.

 

As for gifts, I am a practical person and might ask for a Kitchen Aid appliance. I like to cook. Hard to go wrong, unlike buying jewelry or clothing as I have very particular taste in those areas.[/url]

 

Me too! Plus this is a gift he will enjoy as well because of the good cooking.

[Phantom888]

HOLY CRAP that is a lot of money.

 

 

Was there much in the store that was actually more than that?

 

Oh yes. That's the jewelry store where I got her engagement ring. There are rings/necklaces that cost more than $100,000 in that store.

[Phantom888]

OP: Honestly, it's not about expensive gifts. If he has money issues, he can at least make you something thoughtful. I mean, expensive jewelry is okay if the dude has some cash, but if not, there should at least be some gesture of caring.

[Keenly]

OP: Honestly, it's not about expensive gifts. If he has money issues, he can at least make you something thoughtful. I mean, expensive jewelry is okay if the dude has some cash, but if not, there should at least be some gesture of caring.

 

Now now, if he doesn't have the money for jewelry, it means he doesn't love you enough to get a second job to support your bling..

[CarrieT]

Three pages later and the OP hasn't responded to this thread...

[todreaminblue]

Three pages later and the OP hasn't responded to this thread...

 

whatcha thinking carrie?........i know if you dont feel like answering..not really foond of the word myself and i dont really believe in trolls.......she might be really upset and not be able to answer that is a real possibility or many others....internet failure.......break up...anything. ...but i have enjoyed the thread phoe, elswyth.....and all the rest...made me smile... that fact though the smile thing isnt important i do like to smile though...deb

[loveandbeloved]

OP and her boyfriend live together so they are a common law couple, that is the same as being married in my eyes.

 

The issue is not that he gave her nothing on their anniversary day but the fact he said he would get her something and he's been procrastinating. If presents and anniversaries aren't important to him he had to speak up and say so instead of promising something he had no intention of getting.

 

OP: Did he come up with something on your birthday and Xmas or he delayed?

 

Totally hit the nail on the head! I guess what's been bothering me is when I gave him his gift, he said he already knew what he was getting me and had it all picked out. So what he's been doing is procrastinating and I've really been trying not to mention it but given the circumstances it makes it a little different then just forgetting about the whole thing. If he wasn't that kind of guy or never said anything I'd understand but that's not the case.

[Omei]

Totally hit the nail on the head! I guess what's been bothering me is when I gave him his gift, he said he already knew what he was getting me and had it all picked out. So what he's been doing is procrastinating and I've really been trying not to mention it but given the circumstances it makes it a little different then just forgetting about the whole thing. If he wasn't that kind of guy or never said anything I'd understand but that's not the case.

 

But again ill say.... He didn't have anything planned if it was important to him he would of, now it seems he'd only be getting a gift for you prob because he feels like he now has to because its clear and im sure you've made it clear by your actions or disappointment that its something that you want hes probably picked up on that. So far he does seem the type of guy that's not into dating anniversary's.

 

You still haven't addressed the many questions if this was something you guys agreed to do prior the anniversary....if you haven't you really cant complain and your just going to have to accept the turn out.

Edited June 6, 2014 by Omei

[Gaeta]

The boyfriend is not helping the situation. Yes it's possible he's not into celebrating anniversaries then he needs to speak up about it. My ex-boyfriend told me before the Holidays he was not buying presents to anyone for xmas he preferred spoiling his loved ones on their birthday. I was disappointed but at least he warned me. This guy here is not helping the situation by 1. not warning OP he's not into anniversaries 2. Make a promise he has no intention of keeping.

 

OP I would like to know how he handles other celebration like Holidays and birthdays?

[Rar0]

The boyfriend is not helping the situation. Yes it's possible he's not into celebrating anniversaries then he needs to speak up about it. My ex-boyfriend told me before the Holidays he was not buying presents to anyone for xmas he preferred spoiling his loved ones on their birthday. I was disappointed but at least he warned me. This guy here is not helping the situation by 1. not warning OP he's not into anniversaries 2. Make a promise he has no intention of keeping.

 

OP I would like to know how he handles other celebration like Holidays and birthdays?

 

What could he do to help then?

[Gaeta]

What could he do to help then?

 

Fulfill his promise. He told her on their anniversary day that he would get her something and he even knew what to get her. He knows he disappointed her so at least he could get his sh.it together and take care of his promise. Then, if it's true that he is not into buying gifts he can explain it to her and they make an agreement to never buy presents or buy present once a year or what ever satisfies both of them.