Iceman Posted April 14, 1999 Share Posted April 14, 1999 I've been dating this girl for a while and during this time I've indicated that she should consider losing some weight and getting into better shape. She is about 150#, 5'9". I'm 155#, 5'8". I think I love her, but I can't resolve the fact that I would prefer that she was thinner. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Thiamine Posted April 14, 1999 Share Posted April 14, 1999 I've been dating this girl for a while and during this time I've indicated that she should consider losing some weight and getting into better shape. She is about 150#, 5'9". I'm 155#, 5'8". I think I love her, but I can't resolve the fact that I would prefer that she was thinner. Any suggestions? Let me get this straight; you told your girlfriend you wanted her to lose weight so you could love her? Even if she didn't show it, that hurts. Possibly if you both joined a fitness club or went biking together or something, it would be more enjoyable for you both. Don't base your love on someone's body shape; look at who they are inside. Love, Thiamine Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted April 15, 1999 Share Posted April 15, 1999 Well I have to wonder about some motivations here. First, if you weren't particularly happy about her appearance and attractiveness from the start, why did you get/stay involved with her? I understand and wholeheartedly agree that outward appearance is not what makes a relationship, but NOBODY is going to want to get involved with someone they aren't attracted to. Anybody who says differently is simply a liar. Just be well aware that the defintion of beauty varies between every individual, so there is no absolute here. Second, I wonder what your motivations are for encouraging her to lose weight. Since I don't know her, I can't speak about her body composition. 150 at that height is not necessarily overweight/overfat nor would it be by very much if she indeed had such a condition. If you'd like to see her shed some body fat in order to be healthier (which is a legitimate concern) and perhaps move into an overall more fit lifestyle, then I say go for it. But if it is merely for aesthetics, I go back to my original point that you knew what you were getting when you created this relationship. I don't think you can put such caveats on what love is. I think it shows that your relationship isn't as deep and complex as you'd like to tell yourself. After all.....should you throw on 10 pounds of muscle to earn her love? Link to post Share on other sites
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