Els Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I think it's rather sad that people have fought so long for women's rights to choose abortion, only for things to immediately swing towards the other extreme - now we have people pressuring women to choose abortion. (I don't mean all of you, only a few) If the OP wants to keep it, she should keep it. If she wants to abort, she should abort. Let her make her own decision about that without foisting your own personal judgments onto her, sheesh. Obviously there are pros and cons both ways, only she can weigh them in the context of her own life. Also, I don't even see her asking for opinions on whether she should or shouldn't abort, in her opening post - she was asking about how to tell the father... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Orange floor Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 well I have a daughter of similar age who had the same issues, albeit dad was on the doorstep and she in 2nd year Uni. You know him better than anyone else, he will know that you two produced this child that you are carrying and whilst it is your choice a joint decision will be the outcome when you tell him as you must as soon as possible. In my daughters case her man whom she knew well, did a 180 it terms of behaviour and is off the scene. My daughter now lives with us and i look after an amazing little boy while she completes her studies. No matter how well we know someone [even inside marriage] a baby is a lifelong commitment and when seen in that light it has the power to change the strongest and most ethical and moral based person. i wish you a great and trouble free pregnancy and as i look at this young 3 yo growing up i can say nothing other than any hurt you feel when making this decision would be overcome by the joy you get from watching life grow. prayers! Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Any update OP? Did you tell the father? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Being a mother and having experienced a miscarriage, it is unlikely I would ever abort. I had the chance to know other people's experiences too. Like postponing getting pregnant due to career, uncertainty, or other reasons, to simply end up with no children. And in many of those cases, the woman felt deep regrets, pain, and psychological issues even later in life. People might think they can get what they want, whenever they want, but nature doesn't work that way. No wonder many women need post-abortion counseling. There are also high rates of women going through traumatic stress disorder after an abortion. Regarding the morning-after pill, it's an emergency contraceptive that should be taken into consideration to avoid unplanned pregnancies, rather than resorting to an abortion. That said, if a baby will ruin the relationship with your boyfriend, that relationship was probably not meant to be in the first place. Ask yourself what's really important in life. Anyway, most pregnant women have all sorts of doubts. Talk things out, share, ask. Especially if/when you feel alone/lonely. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Read this thread by another woman in the same predicament. This is your future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
yololin Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Have it aborted. Don't even tell him. You guys are almost like strangers. Having a baby should be the last thing on both your minds. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TAV Posted June 21, 2014 Share Posted June 21, 2014 Where is the OP? All these freaky ideas about abortion and single parenting have scared her away? Gotta love how some people have an opinion on something the've never lived through themselves. Hope with or without the bf your life and that of your baby turns out ok. Women are stronger than they usually think they are. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 (edited) You're contradicting yourself here. You said you are for pro-choice, but yet you wouldn't do it. Yet, here you are on this forum asking whether or not to have the baby. If you are deciding whether or not to have the baby just to save your relationship, that is something you will regret. If you have the abortion, it should be for your own reasons. Not to keep this man. One can be pro choice but not believe in abortions for themselves. Not sure where the contradiction is? I might not ever believe an abortion is right FOR ME, but I don't impose my beliefs on others and I think that you should have a right to choose for yourself. The statistics and stories and advice on this thread are absolutely surreal. There is no reason that two educated people in their mid twenties cannot raise a healthy happy baby together even if they as a couple do not work out. We are not discussing ignorant teens or uneducated idiots who are spitting out spawn. I don't get how people can just yell out ABORT. And those of you who think you can wait until you are 30 or 35? You are why IVF is so hot these days, you might think it makes no difference, meh, I'll just wait, but we'll see if what happened to a lot of my friends and family happen to you. Also, my sister got pregnant at 23 with a man she was with for 3 months, she's still married and that kid is leaving this fall to university. I waited to have mine, he's 6 and I'm divorced. This is why I could never come on here and tell someone whether to abort or have a child. OP has to do what is right for her. I also have personal experience that the option people in this thread are calling for is NOT so easy and no, it's not better to regret not having a child in all cases just because you may not have liked your single mum. Lets face it, in those cases life would not have been better for the child if the parents stayed together. Edited June 22, 2014 by jbelle6 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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