Wife has seperated from me and signed a year lease.. Is it the end?

[beau2780]

Over the last year my wife and I have been slowly become more and more distant.. I sent her on vacation to California for a weekend.. When she returned she was even more distant and 3 days later she felt we should separate... so over the next 3 months we have had even more ups and downs due to my fear of loosing her, and her lack of motivation to seek counselling..This drove me into complete panic mode and she has now seen me at my weakest emotional state possible... and she totaly detached from me... To make matters worse, my mother fell very ill.. and now has contracted a very rare virus and could pass at any given time if she relapses...and a business venture i started early in the year totyaly failed and there has been money flying out of the bank account to cover overhead... So I am dealing with a terminaly Ill Mother, Failed Business, and My Wife is choosing to bail on me at my weakest point instead of holding me up... So my mental health has suffered.. She has watched me completely fall apart...She decided to move out.. but she signed a 12 month lease?... She says she does not want to get divorced, but a 12 month lease is very absolute.. It tells me she is not planning on coming back... Or am I wrong.... There are many more issues and it does go much deeper as far as our personality conflicts with each other within the marriage... But I never imagined in a million years she would do this without seeking some kind of help for us 1st before such an absolute descision was made... As a matter of fact we were planning to see a church paster on a monday... that morning my mother was released from the hospital when i told her the good news she cancelled the session and said she wants to seperate.. and she is done....We have completely sperated everything.. finances credit lines, phone services.. joint bills, any memberships we shared... Everything... ... So why no divorce.... i just dont get it... this has been completely unfair to me in every way... and i feel like she just wants to contrl the situatiom and keep me on the hook... what should i do.. should i file myself... or should i wait for her to come around a little bit?.... I know that i will not put my life and future on hold for her.. Not the way things have been done... Is he gone for good? Should I move on? or should i wait this out for a few months?? Help me!

[Chi townD]

Who's idea was it for her to go out to California? What's out in Cali?

 

My spidey senses are tingling. I think there's someone else in the picture. It would make sense to me as to why she moved to an apartment. She wants to explore what's going on with this other person without having to hide it from you or you constantly looking over her shoulder. If things start working out with this other person, then she'll make this separation more permanent. But, if things don't look like they are going to work long term for them; well, 12 month lease and guess what! "I love you again, let's try and fix things."

 

I think you need to start looking into things. I think there might be someone waiting in the wings.

[beach]

Sure file for D. It at least gets the ball rolling. Shows her you intend to take action on her leaving you/the marriage.

 

Since she's not "all in" you may as well work towards getting out of the M.

 

Especially since she seems to have a plan and it doesn't include you.

 

Most divorces take a while to be finalized - you should have time to consider things between now and then.