You girls should never have problem finding a BF

[Curious-One]

I am 6'3 200 pounds average looks, social, have plenty of friends and i am educated. I went online and made an account on plenty of fish and in 2 weeks did not receive one msg from girl. I sent 100's of msgs to girls a day and only received 2-3 replies out of the ones i sent and all of them ended up with nothing. Usually i would be writing asking questions and the girl would reply with few words answering the question but never asking me about anything.

 

 

Anyway i got tired of it and canceled my account but not until i went on my fb and found a average (maybe a bit below average) looking girl and made a fake profile on POF. (I know this is kinda wrong but i really really wanted to do this experiment)

 

 

Let me tell you within an hour i had 100+ msgs from different guys. In 2-3 days i had over 1000 msgs. I closed the account after that.

 

Now i know many of you will say well it was probably from guys that were not quality guys or not good looking guys. I would say many of the guys were average looking guys and some were even very good looking. So if you really cant find 10-20 potential guys out of the 1000 that send you msg there is something wrong with your standards.

 

 

Is there any reason a girl should say that shes having trouble finding a bf or dates?

[MissionPossible]

Just because a guy messages a girl on POF does not mean he is interested in being her boyfriend. I like your experiment, but don't discount the extraordinary effort that some men will put in in order to get laid.

[aprilisi]

I am a nice looking, a few extra pounds but above average in looks. I live in a small town but not far from several cities. Two big cities one to north one to south. I get dozens of meet mes and and get favorited alot. I've learned to ignore them because every time I like back or message I get nothing.

 

Every guy who messages me is fake. Or looking for a good time. I have learned to block the sexual encounter people but some still make it through. They say they want something more but the truth will come out.

 

Some guys seem nice then it turns out they don't have a car and they live 30 miles away. The few men I've met have tried to get me in bed. One begged me, saying if he liked it it could turn into more. I threw my drink on one when he rubbed my inner thigh under the table. Dramatic? Maybe. But they all seemed like good guys.

 

I could go on but I won't. In conclusion, its not that easy for us.

[jbelle6]

I am 6'3 200 pounds average looks, social, have plenty of friends and i am educated. I went online and made an account on plenty of fish and in 2 weeks did not receive one msg from girl. I sent 100's of msgs to girls a day and only received 2-3 replies out of the ones i sent and all of them ended up with nothing. Usually i would be writing asking questions and the girl would reply with few words answering the question but never asking me about anything.

 

 

Anyway i got tired of it and canceled my account but not until i went on my fb and found a average (maybe a bit below average) looking girl and made a fake profile on POF. (I know this is kinda wrong but i really really wanted to do this experiment)

 

 

Let me tell you within an hour i had 100+ msgs from different guys. In 2-3 days i had over 1000 msgs. I closed the account after that.

 

Now i know many of you will say well it was probably from guys that were not quality guys or not good looking guys. I would say many of the guys were average looking guys and some were even very good looking. So if you really cant find 10-20 potential guys out of the 1000 that send you msg there is something wrong with your standards.

 

 

Is there any reason a girl should say that shes having trouble finding a bf or dates?

 

 

 

I can answer this one. When my breakup happened 4 weeks ago I was looking for a forum before I found this one. I wanted to post on POF forums but found I could not without signing up. So I did. I put just Friends, my header was FRIENDS, that I was interested in taking some cooking, wine, languages, as well as anything active, if anyone wanted to take a course, or we could get a group (of male and female platonic friends) to hang out sometimes as I am new to my city.

 

Well, email gets FLOODED, but really? Have you actually read all the messages you got? Mine said, "too bad you just want friends hehehe, let me know if you change your mind", "do you like big D!Ck?" etc. etc. Out of the hundreds I got not one that actually read my profile, and not one cared that they didn't meet what I was looking for.

 

So think about it, the average girl has to weed out all of those a$$hats to find the decent guys who are genuine like you. And lets face it, a lot of guys on those sites just want sex, that's why they hit up girls that may not be as attractive as they would require for a relationship.

Edited June 6, 2014 by jbelle6

[Curious-One]

I am a nice looking, a few extra pounds but above average in looks. I live in a small town but not far from several cities. Two big cities one to north one to south. I get dozens of meet mes and and get favorited alot. I've learned to ignore them because every time I like back or message I get nothing.

 

Every guy who messages me is fake. Or looking for a good time. I have learned to block the sexual encounter people but some still make it through. They say they want something more but the truth will come out.

 

Some guys seem nice then it turns out they don't have a car and they live 30 miles away. The few men I've met have tried to get me in bed. One begged me, saying if he liked it it could turn into more. I threw my drink on one when he rubbed my inner thigh under the table. Dramatic? Maybe. But they all seemed like good guys.

 

I could go on but I won't. In conclusion, its not that easy for us.

 

I am thinking you probably picked the best looking guys that msged you without even reading their profile. I think those guys are just trying to increase their sexual partner number so they try to move fast.

 

 

Maybe if you give the average guy a chance he would not only look for sex. If any of the girls online gave me a chance i know i wouldnt have disrespected them and would take it serious.

 

Like someone above mentioned the problem is you guys pick the best looking guys who actually do have alot more options so they are just looking for a quick lay.

[Curious-One]

I can answer this one. When my breakup happened 4 weeks ago I was looking for a forum before I found this one. I wanted to post on POF forums but found I could not without signing up. So I did. I put just Friends, my header was FRIENDS, that I was interested in taking some cooking, wine, languages, as well as anything active, if anyone wanted to take a course, or we could get a group (of male and female platonic friends) to hang out sometimes as I am new to my city.

 

Well, email gets FLOODED, but really? Have you actually read all the messages you got? Mine said, "too bad you just want friends hehehe, let me know if you change your mind", "do you like big D!Ck?" etc. etc. Out of the hundreds I got not one that actually read my profile, and not one cared that they didn't meet what I was looking for.

 

So think about it, the average girl has to weed out all of those a$$hats to find the decent guys who are genuine like you. And lets face it, a lot of guys on those sites just want sex, that's why they hit up girls that may not be as attractive as they would require for a relationship.

 

Well for one you went on a dating website looking for "JUST FRIENDS" where most guys on that site dont want only friends. Also i know there will be guys that are rude but you can quickly weed out the idiots.

 

I dont know about you but i would rather have 1000 msgs where i can weed out the idiots then have 0 msgs and not even have a chance.

[marcjb]

This is why if a woman has been with a bunch of guys she is viewed negatively, but if a guy has been with a bunch of women, he is not. Guys are the ones that have to put in work, women generally just get to sit back and take their pick. That's the answer to the age old stigma, because it's true.

[aprilisi]

I am thinking you probably picked the best looking guys that msged you without even reading their profile. I think those guys are just trying to increase their sexual partner number so they try to move fast.

 

 

Maybe if you give the average guy a chance he would not only look for sex. If any of the girls online gave me a chance i know i wouldnt have disrespected them and would take it serious.

 

Like someone above mentioned the problem is you guys pick the best looking guys who actually do have alot more options so they are just looking for a quick lay.

 

Nope. I'm not picky. Average guys can be even bigger horndogs than hot guys. The guy who rubbed my thigh? Great sense of humor. Super tall and skinny, kinda resembled Michael Cera with a beak nose.

[marcjb]

This is why if a woman has been with a bunch of guys she is viewed negatively, but if a guy has been with a bunch of women, he is not. Guys are the ones that have to put in work, women generally just get to sit back and take their pick. That's the answer to the age old stigma, because it's true.

 

With this being said, I don't think it's right for either gender to being with a ton of different people. I myself have been with a pretty small number of women in my life considering I am told that I'm pretty good looking. I am more interested in meaningful, serious, long-lasting relationships and never like to get into flings.

[Do_The_Herp]

Every guy who messages me is fake.

 

What do you mean by "fake"? Are there really fake profiles of dudes? I felt like there were a bunch of abandoned female profiles on POF when I tried it.. Or OKC, I forget which one.. Because I'd actually thoughtfully respond, and they'd actually LOOK at my profile.. Some of them even put "will gladly respond to all messages if you're respectful!" in their profile. They're still not obligated to respond, but it comes across as insincere, and more of an attempt to sound "open" and "positive" to the RIGHT guy who's reading her profile.

 

So I figured maybe some dating sites send you an automated profile view notification for every message you send to an abandoned profile.. Maybe that's a bit far fetched, but I can't imagine why they'd all read the profile and hadn't bothered to respond.

 

Some of them I wasn't even that attracted to, and liked their personality and wanted to give them a try. I don't believe that there's anything wrong with my appearance whatsoever, so I don't know what the issue is that needs to be resolved on my part. Maybe there isn't one, IDK.

[jbelle6]

Well for one you went on a dating website looking for "JUST FRIENDS" where most guys on that site dont want only friends. Also i know there will be guys that are rude but you can quickly weed out the idiots.

 

I dont know about you but i would rather have 1000 msgs where i can weed out the idiots then have 0 msgs and not even have a chance.

 

 

Well, so what? Lots of men go on that site for JUST SEX which most women don't want. My point stands, the messages were all from people who just wanted sex, not even a relationship. What I was asking for is irrelevant, the fact is I was not looking for sex and that is what I what I was offered. Whether I had put friends or a relationship or dating, I did not have CASUAL or NO STRINGS.

[jbelle6]

It's really hard to be overweight but above average in looks. Generally speaking, big girl=below average in looks. Not trying to be mean, but that's kinda how many guys think.

 

 

 

That's pretty much how internet dating works. It's really rare for a genuine guy to be able to find a genuine girl online for something substantial.

 

 

 

This forum is much better than that one. I used to post over there too.

 

 

 

Read what the Op said. I can assure you, that as a guy, it doesn't matter what your message is like, whether or not you paid attention to her profile, ect. The girl we message is gonna take one look at our pics and decide whether or not she will talk to us. We eventually learn that reading profiles and sending decent messages is a waste of time.

 

 

 

True, and I imagine that can be a bit daunting, but at least the ladies have that option. There will still be a few guys in there not acting like a douchebag for you to meet.

 

 

 

 

I think this is the biggest problem with online dating. Many of the women on there might only be average looking or below, but she has good looking guys messaging her, so she doesn't bother talking to guys more on her level. Her expectations rise, because she thinks she can get those good looking guys, but they just see her as an easy lay. I see women on POF for years because of this.

 

 

 

 

This forum truly has been a Godsend for me. I agree! And your last point is exactly what I was trying to say. The average or below average woman will get flooded with messages, but I don't think those guys want a relationship with her, then sure, her standards probably rise so she sits there dating the guys who will ditch her after they got what they wanted or if she doesn't put out. Neither the average man or the average woman gets what they were truly seeking in the end.

[jbelle6]

You are right, but most women on POF say they aren't looking for a hookup, yet they will still do it. These guys wouldn't act that way if it didn't work for them.

 

 

Well, what we've both agreed on could be the reason, if she is propositioned by a man who is levels above in looks maybe she will say yes, but ultimately, at the end of the night she's still alone.

[MikeyBe]

You'd think that OP, but reality is far different then our preconceptions.

 

e.g.

 

So if you really cant find 10-20 potential guys out of the 1000 that send you msg there is something wrong with your standards.

I'm no expert on 1000's of people wanting me but finding 10-20 out of 1000's sounds exhausting. And then what? Are you going to date all 10-20 guys? Sort that down to 1 guy, then go down the list till they find someone they click with?

 

Maybe not as easy as it sounds.

[MalachiX]

I'm not a woman looking for a boyfriend (I'm a man who already has a girlfriend); but I gotta say I always get driven nuts when people who dismiss other individual's problems by saying, "hey, I or someone else can do fine, you have no excuse!"

 

I think that's condescending and amazingly niave. It especially stings in romantic subjects since it only serves to make the people on the other side feel like there's something wrong with them.

[Glinda.Good]

If a girl tells you that she is having troubles finding a boyfriend, you really should just take her word for it. Your ideas of good boyfriends are probably not the same as hers.

[ascendotum]

I actually feel sorry for the few women Ive seen on LS who say they never get a msg on OLD or only a couple of msgs in 6 mths (from old guys), because its so good for the average woman otherwise (as per OP's little experiment). Granted a big % of the guys are only looking for sex, and the women I know often were fine with that in the their early days of using OLD, but got frustrated when they wanted something more serious (without dropping their expectations).

[Andy_K]

You'd think that OP, but reality is far different then our preconceptions.

 

e.g.

 

I'm no expert on 1000's of people wanting me but finding 10-20 out of 1000's sounds exhausting. And then what? Are you going to date all 10-20 guys? Sort that down to 1 guy, then go down the list till they find someone they click with?

 

Maybe not as easy as it sounds.

 

More exhausting than being the one writing 100s of emails?

[jbelle6]

I had a female friend on POF that was getting at least 2 or 3 new messages a week. That's the worst I've ever heard of a girl doing on there. To put things in perspective, she is 5'8 255 lbs (about 100lbs overweight) with 3 kids, no job, and lives off the government. If she could get a couple messages a week, just about anyone could.

 

We used to compare our experiences on there and she couldn't believe how few people contacted me.

 

 

 

Sure, us girls can just go on POF, it's the mecca of fine male specimens. Why even look further?

 

Hell, us girls can order men like pizza!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Men are so hard done by, they never lie or cheat or hurt women, and so what if they do!!! We just go on POF and find more!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are so lucky to have the thousands of fantastic opportunities in our local area that fit us just right.

[jbelle6]

Exactly! I wish I could order women like pizza. Ugh, now I really want a pizza.

 

 

Well now wouldn't it be nice if it were that easy lol!

I'm sure men and women can agree with that!

[hasaquestion]

Well, what we've both agreed on could be the reason, if she is propositioned by a man who is levels above in looks maybe she will say yes, but ultimately, at the end of the night she's still alone.

 

I don't think men are really any less picky relative to their options when it comes to wanting to date someone seriously.

 

Something I mentioned in another thread, obviously a generalization but I think it holds pretty true, is that women put men into two groups:

1. Would bang him and date him

2. Wouldn't bang him or date him

 

Whereas men put women into three groups:

1. Would bang her and date her

2. Would bang her but wouldn't date her

3. Would neither bang her nor date her.

 

I think its a neat explanation of the numbers that seem involved.

 

Women are picky on the surface, since they are holding out for people in that first group. Meanwhile, guys are looking for that "special" first group thing too. But along the way, they'll have a good time with the second group.

[kaylan]

I can answer this one. When my breakup happened 4 weeks ago I was looking for a forum before I found this one. I wanted to post on POF forums but found I could not without signing up. So I did. I put just Friends, my header was FRIENDS, that I was interested in taking some cooking, wine, languages, as well as anything active, if anyone wanted to take a course, or we could get a group (of male and female platonic friends) to hang out sometimes as I am new to my city.

 

Well, email gets FLOODED, but really? Have you actually read all the messages you got? Mine said, "too bad you just want friends hehehe, let me know if you change your mind", "do you like big D!Ck?" etc. etc. Out of the hundreds I got not one that actually read my profile, and not one cared that they didn't meet what I was looking for.

 

So think about it, the average girl has to weed out all of those a$$hats to find the decent guys who are genuine like you. And lets face it, a lot of guys on those sites just want sex, that's why they hit up girls that may not be as attractive as they would require for a relationship.

A lot of guys start goofing off and even trolling because theres a low chance that a woman responds to a message that shows you read her profile.

 

What Ive seen is that if the girl is attracted to you, she'll respond...and sometimes she will respond even if you say something a bit off the wall but not overboard.

 

*shrugs*

[Targetlock]

Exactly! I wish I could order women like pizza. Ugh, now I really want a pizza.

 

I love pizza wish it were that easy. OLD is a very strange game indeed it seems.

[Keenly]

I've wasted so much time on OKC and POF. Written probably a thousand messages. Few dates, but nothing that ever went anywhere.

 

It just a terrible enviroent.

 

The worst part about it is I'm a genuine guy with a big heart, pretty okay looks, and a desire for something more than just the casual stuff. I was a life raft in an ocean of D bags, obvious D bags too. I read profiles, found common ground, madr jokes. I spent 10 minutes on most messages.

 

 

 

I have almost nothing to show for it. A handful of terrible dates, a disrespectful woman, s woman that disappeared, and two women who use their pictures to lie about their weight.

 

I had to clear out my okc sent folder 3 times. That's probably 700 messages that I wrote out. Wasn't looking for sex, but for companionship and adventure. I got jack shiz in return.

 

 

Wasted my time and took easy too much social and emotional energy for zero pay off. Just makers me get pissed off when I hear the women I know IRL complain about not getting dates or something. Blows my mind.

[Rar0]

I've wasted so much time on OKC and POF. Written probably a thousand messages. Few dates, but nothing that ever went anywhere.

 

It just a terrible enviroent.

 

The worst part about it is I'm a genuine guy with a big heart, pretty okay looks, and a desire for something more than just the casual stuff. I was a life raft in an ocean of D bags, obvious D bags too. I read profiles, found common ground, madr jokes. I spent 10 minutes on most messages.

 

 

 

I have almost nothing to show for it. A handful of terrible dates, a disrespectful woman, s woman that disappeared, and two women who use their pictures to lie about their weight.

 

I had to clear out my okc sent folder 3 times. That's probably 700 messages that I wrote out. Wasn't looking for sex, but for companionship and adventure. I got jack shiz in return.

 

 

Wasted my time and took easy too much social and emotional energy for zero pay off. Just makers me get pissed off when I hear the women I know IRL complain about not getting dates or something. Blows my mind.

 

I'm not into online dating either, not my thing.