You girls should never have problem finding a BF

[fortyninethousand322]

Well OP, I've tried and failed at online dating too. I'd like to think I'm a decent looking guy with a good variety of hobbies and interests, university educated, fairly intelligent, all the usual good stuff. I write messages that are unique and use good spelling, don't send pictures of my genitalia or ask about sex or anything else like that. Women are just not interested.

 

Why? I figure something about me is unattractive. Could be looks, could be where I live, could be something subconscious. Who knows.

 

What I've concluded is that I'm just not what women want. And I'm not going to berate women for having standards. They want something better than me, and they can't find it. That has to really suck big time. The last thing they need is a bunch of whiny guys complaining about not being able to get a date. Because it's obvious why we can't get a date.

[carhill]

I'm unclear about the 'should never' part but in my demographic I rarely meet a woman who isn't attached or married so I'd say, for the most part, they have few problems finding boyfriends or husbands. That said, I recently added one more to my list of four, so it now stands at five, and I doubt the new addition will be long for the marketplace, with the main issue holding her back being having three kids and being newly divorced. She hasn't mentioned a boyfriend yet but, should she put her mind to it, she'd have one by the end of the holiday weekend. No problem. I know at least half dozen guys, not counting the married ones, using all those signals of 'like' outlined in another running thread here, who are currently in line.

[somedude81]

If it bothers you that women try to tell you what your situation is like, why do it to other people?

 

 

How do you know that's what happens with these women? Have you ever been a woman that couldn't find a boyfriend?

 

Of course I've never been a woman.

 

Though I've never met or heard about a woman that couldn't find a boyfriend.

[somedude81]

Well, aren't most single people, "single by choice"?

 

You, as much as you say you want to be in a relationship, turned down women who were into you because, as wonderful as they may be as people, you weren't physically attracted to them. That's perfectly fine. But why is it when a woman has her preferences she is "extremely picky"?

 

I've turned down two women in my entire life. Both were grossly obese, +200 lbs.

 

Rejecting them does not make me extremely picky. I would absolutely not turn down an average woman. Though women turn average men all the time.

 

If it bothers you that women try to tell you what your situation is like, why do it to other people?

Forgot to address this point in my previous post.

 

What women hare are struggling about being able to find a boyfriend? Do you have any examples at all on this forum? Or are you just talking hypothetically?

 

The women that have posted about them "struggling" have been in several more relationships than the struggling guys, and all the ones I can think of are in a relationship right now.

Edited July 1, 2014 by somedude81

[somedude81]

when i said social awkwardness, i'm referring to the fact that the guy is expected to be the initiator, aggressor, do the approaching and asking out, yes i'm sure there are exceptions but 95 percent of all relationships are still initiated by the guy it seems

 

A guy being socially awkward is essentially a death sentence.

[hasaquestion]

I've turned down two women in my entire life. Both were grossly obese, +200 lbs.

 

Rejecting them does not make me extremely picky. I would absolutely not turn down an average woman. Though women turn average men all the time.

 

Forgot to address this point in my previous post.

 

What women hare are struggling about being able to find a boyfriend? Do you have any examples at all on this forum? Or are you just talking hypothetically?

 

The women that have posted about them "struggling" have been in several more relationships than the struggling guys, and all the ones I can think of are in a relationship right now.

 

But that does make you picky, no? Because you refuse to take what you can get, and instead are chasing something you can't get. Is that not the very definition of picky?

 

The "picky single girls" you are describing are only doing the same thing as you.

[somedude81]

But that does make you picky, no? Because you refuse to take what you can get, and instead are chasing something you can't get. Is that not the very definition of picky?

 

The "picky single girls" you are describing are only doing the same thing as you.

 

As I said again, only wanting to date an average girl does not make me picky.

 

My requirements are much lower than the requirements that the vast majority of women have.

[hasaquestion]

As I said again, only wanting to date an average girl does not make me picky.

 

My requirements are much lower than the requirements that the vast majority of women have.

 

But they aren't.

 

Say I delete the numbers in my phone, and say I'm only going to date Ariana Grande. If I somehow end up actually marrying Ariana Grande, was I being picky? I got what I wanted.

 

A preference is not inherently reasonable or unreasonable. What makes a preference a bad idea is if you have a low probability of realizing it (an extreme example would be me and Ariana Grande).

 

Forget about all your arbitrary analysis of who is "average" and who is not. Of the 144 odd months since you turned 20, you've been seeking a girlfriend, right? If you've had a gf for 6 of them, or 4%. So you're being about as picky as a girl who goes single for two years and gets a guy she likes for one month.

 

You are holding out for something, just like the girls you condemn for being "picky". Why is it ok when you do it but wrong when they do it?

 

I'm just saying, no need to be so superficial.

[somedude81]

But they aren't.

 

Say I delete the numbers in my phone, and say I'm only going to date Ariana Grande. If I somehow end up actually marrying Ariana Grande, was I being picky? I got what I wanted.

 

A preference is not inherently reasonable or unreasonable. What makes a preference a bad idea is if you have a low probability of realizing it (an extreme example would be me and Ariana Grande).

 

Right, the odds of getting her are extremely low.

 

Forget about all your arbitrary analysis of who is "average" and who is not. Of the 144 odd months since you turned 20, you've been seeking a girlfriend, right? If you've had a gf for 6 of them, or 4%. So you're being about as picky as a girl who goes single for two years and gets a guy she likes for one month.

 

Being picky has absolutely nothing to do with how long I've been single or a woman who was single for two years and dates a guy for one month.

 

You are holding out for something, just like the girls you condemn for being "picky". Why is it ok when you do it but wrong when they do it?

 

That's what I keep trying to explain. I'm not holding out for something. I try to pursue every single woman that I think is cute and friendly. I'm not turning down women left and right. The last time I actually turned down a woman was around 10 years ago.

 

I would go out with any halfway decent looking girl who shows an interest in me. My preferences are super easy to hit and the vast majority of women I see on a daily basis meet them.

 

A woman being obese is one of the few dealbreakers I actually have.

[Anela]

 

What women hare are struggling about being able to find a boyfriend? Do you have any examples at all on this forum? Or are you just talking hypothetically?

 

The women that have posted about them "struggling" have been in several more relationships than the struggling guys, and all the ones I can think of are in a relationship right now.

 

ME. I have, all along. Unless I wanted a cheater, or someone heavily addicted to substances.

[somedude81]

ME. I have, all along. Unless I wanted a cheater, or someone heavily addicted to substances.

 

You never replied to my last post to you.

 

When was the last time you tried to meet men?

 

-----

 

I get the feeling that you aren't trying at all and just complain.

[clia]

What women hare are struggling about being able to find a boyfriend? Do you have any examples at all on this forum? Or are you just talking hypothetically?

 

Come on, are you serious? Just browse through the archives of the "Dating" section and you will find plenty of women who are having trouble finding a boyfriend. There is a huge difference between finding a guy who wants to bang you versus finding a guy who wants to be your boyfriend.

[ltjg45]

If this were true, there would be no single women in the US at all over the age of 30 unless they're single by choice.

 

So..yeah..this is all nonsense.

 

For what it is worth, I am more disappointed that there is foreign women who is single for a long period of time in other countries than the U.S. women. I tend to find them to be far better catches overall.

 

The sheer majority of the U.S. women should be lucky they have any males showing any interest in them considering their overall status compared to foreign women. But considering the way the average male here is, I would also say that the few high-value U.S. women should stay single unless they find a guy worth keeping.

 

Of course, my definition of "high value" is nothing like what society says it is though. When I find one (which is rare), I have no issues going after her if she's available.

 

There is a lot of trash people (male and female) here in the U.S.

[somedude81]

Come on, are you serious? Just browse through the archives of the "Dating" section and you will find plenty of women who are having trouble finding a boyfriend. There is a huge difference between finding a guy who wants to bang you versus finding a guy who wants to be your boyfriend.

 

Honestly I've seen very few of those threads.

 

Most of the threads I see from women are talking about problems in their relationship for for some reason they are still with a guy who only wants her for sex.

[Anela]

For a woman, confidence does not have any relationship with shyness and awkwardness.

 

As long as a woman is able to put herself in situations where there are age appropriate men and she can be friendly when spoken to and hold a conversation; she'd do fine. That's something any woman can do regardless of how much confidence she has.

 

The forever alone women probably come across as not interested or maybe even rude to every guy who talks to them.

 

This isn't true at all.

[Anela]

You never replied to my last post to you.

 

I didn't see it.

 

 

 

-----

 

I get the feeling that you aren't trying at all and just complain.

:lmao: Not true. Talk about a "pot meet kettle" comment.

 

I've dealt with social anxiety for *years*, and it does matter to men, as well. The ones who chased me were in relationships with other women, and were addicted to alcohol or drugs. One wanted to be polyamorous. Then, as I wanted to meet more men, my life became insane - I'm already trying with several things against me, as it is. I was finally getting something of a life, and then it seems like something has been trying to squeeze the life out of me.

 

You have no idea what it's like to be a woman in the dating world, especially one who also deals with anxiety and depression, and honestly, feels repulsive much of the time. Oh, and the vomiting condition that I now have somewhat under control? that was *really* attractive. Tell me you want to be around a woman who couldn't keep her food or liquids down. I had to be running to throw up, on a regular basis. I carried mouth wash with me, a small bottle in my bag. It affected my self-esteem, and my looks, due to the fact that I wasn't getting any nutrition. I was afraid to exercise, in case of dehydration.

 

Then there's the craziness at home, *I* was crazy because of it. Grieving deaths of family members, pets, friends of family, and basically the death of my family unit, and any self-esteem I had. I've introduced myself to men, but they weren't interested. the one who did seem interested, a few months ago, kept going on about how he was waiting for the calls to help crazy people - drunk, or just out of their minds - and I was sitting there thinking, "Oh, god, you have NO idea..." since he helped my family when we were stranded. He was a tow-truck driver.

 

There also needs to be mutual attraction, and they have to be someone that you want to spend time around. They also have to like and respect me. I don't just want someone who will be nice to have around, and give me sex occasionally. They're supposed to be a partner, and someone who thinks you're worth sticking around for - and who will be there when things get hard. Well, things are already hard.

 

You don't listen. You can empathize to a point, but then you just decide that the other person is lying, but YOU... you really have problems, because you're short.

[Targetlock]

A guy being socially awkward is essentially a death sentence.

 

know the feeling as a socially awkward male, but its not a death sentence but it certainly doesn't help!!

In my opinion for both genders its all about confidence and attractiveness, and if you haven't got one or either it becomes difficult.

[Kamille]

You know why I don't have a boyfriend? Because I can't imagine sharing my life with the majority of guys I meet. Some of these men are great. They're just not the guys who get me.

 

It also doesn't help that: I'm not looking for a quick bang, I'm not looking for someone who rates me on a scale of 1 to 10, I'm not looking to be fodder for someone's sense of (masculine) self. The latter guys aren't great. They're actually kind of annoying. And easy to spot.

[KaliLove]

Those women are single by choice.

 

Or, they aren't actually trying to find anybody.

 

Or, they are extremely picky and can't find a man who meets their requirements.

 

Wrong. So totally and completely wrong.

[somedude81]

know the feeling as a socially awkward male, but its not a death sentence but it certainly doesn't help!!

In my opinion for both genders its all about confidence and attractiveness, and if you haven't got one or either it becomes difficult.

If a guy is socially awkward and not super good looking, he will not date, period.

 

That's what I meant by a death sentence. Being socially awkward is one of the worst thing that can happen to a man in regards to dating and relationships.

 

I'm speaking from experience.

[somedude81]

You know why I don't have a boyfriend? Because I can't imagine sharing my life with the majority of guys I meet. Some of these men are great. They're just not the guys who get me.

 

It also doesn't help that: I'm not looking for a quick bang, I'm not looking for someone who rates me on a scale of 1 to 10, I'm not looking to be fodder for someone's sense of (masculine) self. The latter guys aren't great. They're actually kind of annoying. And easy to spot.

 

And that's exactly what I mean when I saw that on average women are very picky.

 

The average man would have no problem sharing his life with the majority of girls he meets. The average woman would not.

 

I'm not saying that women are wrong, it's just the way they are. Though because of that, it's frustrating to hear women complaining about dating when they have so many options. It's essentially the same thing as me complaining that only girls with small breasts want to date me while everything else about them is fine. That's how ridiculous it is to me.

[Targetlock]

If a guy is socially awkward and not super good looking, he will not date, period.

 

That's what I meant by a death sentence. Being socially awkward is one of the worst thing that can happen to a man in regards to dating and relationships.

 

I'm speaking from experience.

 

Yeah it sucks just need to keep on practising i guess and try and overcome it.

[somedude81]

Yeah it sucks just need to keep on practising i guess and try and overcome it.

 

Exactly, keep putting yourself in situations where you have to interact with women.

 

For me it's taking dance classes. Before I started taking those classes I barely ever talked to women and I was terrified to actually touch a girl.

 

My fear and anxiety of women is pretty much completely gone. Now I'm on the stage where I have to figure out what actually attracts them.

[somedude81]

Wrong. So totally and completely wrong.

 

Do you have any examples or input as to why I'm wrong?

[Kamille]

 

The average man would have no problem sharing his life with the majority of girls he meets. The average woman would not.

 

 

Untrue. If that were the case, I would be married to my first high school crush. Or one of the subsequent crushes. Men also have preferences as to who they want to spend their life with. As they should.