You girls should never have problem finding a BF

[Weezy1973]

Untrue. If that were the case, I would be married to my first high school crush. Or one of the subsequent crushes. Men also have preferences as to who they want to spend their life with. As they should.

 

I would say that men are willing to date a larger array of women on average, but in terms of making a commitment, definitely men are every bit as selective as women. It's just at a different stage.

[fortyninethousand322]

And that's exactly what I mean when I saw that on average women are very picky.

 

The average man would have no problem sharing his life with the majority of girls he meets. The average woman would not.

 

I'm not saying that women are wrong, it's just the way they are. Though because of that, it's frustrating to hear women complaining about dating when they have so many options. It's essentially the same thing as me complaining that only girls with small breasts want to date me while everything else about them is fine. That's how ridiculous it is to me.

 

Just because you or I would be happy with most women we meet, doesn't mean the "average" man would.

 

The average man doesn't have the dating history you and I or the rest of the struggling crew have.

[Imajerk17]

And that's exactly what I mean when I saw that on average women are very picky.

 

The average man would have no problem sharing his life with the majority of girls he meets. The average woman would not.

 

I'm not saying that women are wrong, it's just the way they are. Though because of that, it's frustrating to hear women complaining about dating when they have so many options. It's essentially the same thing as me complaining that only girls with small breasts want to date me while everything else about them is fine. That's how ridiculous it is to me.

Which is why the most common headline in women's magazines is "How To Get Him To Commit"??

[somedude81]

Honestly, I know very little about this commitmentphobe thing.

 

My guess is that the guys who don't want to commit are having too much fun sleeping with lots of girls.

 

Then the answer that comes to mind for what women can do, is to stop dating players. But those guys are attractive and desirable, so women can't help themselves

 

They are essentially complaining that their pet tiger bit them.

 

Also, women need to stop having sex with guys without being in an official relationship.

Edited July 2, 2014 by somedude81

[somedude81]

It's not so much being afraid of commitment. In my case, I just don't think most women are relationship material. If I wasn't with my current GF, I would probably just stay single and get laid when the need struck me.

Really, you don't think most women are relationship material?

 

If that's the case, then the best way for those women to get the guys they are trying to date to commit, is to work on themselves.

 

Again, I don't have enough experience in seeing which women are relationship material. I've only been on three+ dates with one women and I ended up dating her for six months. To me, she was relationship material.

 

Look at all the traits that women find desirable, and then think about the type of guys that usually have those traits in spades....players. Tall, good looking guy with a lot of confidence. The confidence part always gets me. A lot of our confidence comes from experience dealing with women. A guy with a lot of confidence has probably been sleeping around.

 

Exactly, and then we have women trying to get those guys to commit to them. Also we don't know how many women are sharing him. If a guy can sleep with three girls whenever he wants, I reckon the odds of him committing to one girl are pretty low.

 

 

Those girls are a lot like the "nice guys" that get so much crap online. These women keep sleeping with the confident, attractive guys, hoping that guy will like them, but he's just giving her the old pump and dump routine. Like the "nice guys," they never learn.

 

Exactly. They are only making it harder on themselves and other women by giving up the good too early.

 

So those women have a couple of choices.

 

1) Don't have sex with those men without a commitment first.

2) If those guys won't stick around without sex then it means that he thinks she isn't worth it.

 

She can

a) Improve herself to be worth waiting for.

b) Adjust her standards to find a guy who does think she's worth waiting for.

c) Do nothing and keep getting pumped and dumped.

[Anela]

I am relationship material, for the right man. I also know lovely women: educated, sane, employed, they take care of themselves mentally and physically, who aren't having a lot of luck in this department. Nobody would say that they aren't relationship material.

 

Oh, and I haven't been "pumped and dumped".

[fortyninethousand322]

This will only happen if there are consequences to their actions.

 

Is there any surprise that China, a climbing economy, is set to dethrone the US, a declining in economy, as the richest country the world? It imposes a hefty tax on single mothers to make them *gasp* responsible for their actions.

 

Correlation is not causation. Unless you're seriously making the assertion that China's rise out of poverty over the past 30 years is the result of them taxing single mothers...

[Anela]

This will only happen if there are consequences to their actions.

 

Is there any surprise that China, a climbing economy, is set to dethrone the US, a declining in economy, as the richest country the world? It imposes a hefty tax on single mothers to make them *gasp* responsible for their actions.

 

And what exactly are their actions? That's disgusting.

[jay1983]

Lol Nope, not even close. Especially in my age bracket at 35.

 

 

 

Definitely. It's easy for a girl to find a date or get laid, but if she can't find a guy to commit to her, then she probably wants much more than she offers.

 

 

 

I know you really want a woman, but once you start seeing more of them, I think you will agree that most aren't relationship material. Then again, I'm sure they say that about most men, also.

 

 

 

It all depends. I probably have at least 3 women I could call for sex now if I were single, but I am still with my girlfriend. There are always plenty of women out there, but there aren't many good ones. I think I found a good one, so I'm going to stick with her.

 

 

 

I think they just need to either be more realistic with their expectations, or improve themselves. I know a ton of overweight, under-employed single moms of multiple children, who expect to date fit, good looking guys with an education and good career. That's a recipe for the pump and dump, not a LTR.

 

That's it in a nutshell. There are, I'd say a lot of women that are relationship material. Problem is their standards are way to high, it's like if she's nice looking (decent face, nice body), fairly educated, good person, ect, she wants a guy who's a stunner. She comes across one, throws herself at him, he sleeps with her......I'm witnessing this first hand with a friend of mine, I even made a thread about it a couple of weeks ago.

[jay1983]

That's the difference between you and I, I don't find women like her dateable.

 

She just slept with one guy that she thought liked her, she not sleeping with a different guy every week.

[jay1983]

Those girls are a lot like the "nice guys" that get so much crap online. These women keep sleeping with the confident, attractive guys, hoping that guy will like them, but he's just giving her the old pump and dump routine. Like the "nice guys," they never learn.

 

Your dead right, I think the biggest problem is nobody tells the girls what they need to hear. When I made that thread it was about telling her the other half of the truth. Everybody tells her that he's a player, she deserves better, ect. Nobody tells her hey he's out of your league. Take a look at my thread and see what everybody advised I do. Basically just keep oiling the hamster wheel.

[jay1983]

I looked over your thread and found exactly what I expected to find. I have soe female friends who vent on Facebook on occasion about the latest guy to give them the pump and dump. Always the same responses.

 

What many people don't think about is the differences between men and women what it comes to this sort of thing. Almost all guys will have sex with a girl we wouldn't ever date, sometimes even one we aren't attracted to. The girl getting dropped after sex just won't think about it. Sadly, it's easier to hook up with women who aren't quite as attractive as you are, so those girls end up being the target for the pump and dump.

 

"Put a little more grease on it" like really, WTF is that gonna do???

[Anela]

I don't recall any woman here, telling a man that he's ugly (when he's posted his picture).

[jay1983]

People don't come out and say, "yo man, you ugly." Instead, as a guy, we hear things like, "maybe you should lower your expectations." Or, "are you only hitting on the really attractive women?" Pretty much the same thing.

 

Dude I can't seem to get a 5'9" model for some reason.

 

(sarcasm)

[ltjg45]

I remember that there was a thread here where a woman had to decide if she was going to date a guy. He was classically good looking and over 6 feet, but unemployed with absolutely no prospects.

 

Every woman that responded called that guy a catch and said that he could just get a job somewhere down the line. I'm sure some of those female posters are also responding to this thread (it wasn't that long ago).

 

Just shows you where the minds of women truly are today.

 

That doesn't sound much different from all of the beautiful women that is already single mothers and can not keep a job but yet have no problems getting males, even those who has decent jobs, to want them just the same.

 

I would blame the males just as quickly as you would blame the females in your case.

 

This isn't just one gender's problem. Sorry.

[KaliLove]

I remember that there was a thread here where a woman had to decide if she was going to date a guy. He was classically good looking and over 6 feet, but unemployed with absolutely no prospects.

 

Every woman that responded called that guy a catch and said that he could just get a job somewhere down the line. I'm sure some of those female posters are also responding to this thread (it wasn't that long ago).

 

Just shows you where the minds of women truly are today.

 

Yes..because those couple of women who responded to that thread represent every female in the world.

 

In fact, every woman on the planet thinks exactly the same way and is attracted to exactly the same things. :rolleyes::

 

Women are human beings, just like men. We're all attracted to different traits, physically and mentally.

[Glinda.Good]

For a woman, confidence does not have any relationship with shyness and awkwardness.

 

As long as a woman is able to put herself in situations where there are age appropriate men and she can be friendly when spoken to and hold a conversation; she'd do fine. That's something any woman can do regardless of how much confidence she has.

 

Will you please stop speaking for what it is like to be a woman dating or looking for a true relationship? You do not know. Really.

 

It's quite insulting.

[somedude81]

Will you please stop speaking for what it is like to be a woman dating or looking for a true relationship? You do not know. Really.

 

It's quite insulting.

 

You give your experiences and I'll give mine.

[Glinda.Good]

If a guy is socially awkward and not super good looking, he will not date, period.

 

 

And while you're at it, how about letting the socially awkward guys speak for themselves as well. I know and have known MANY who date. There are plenty of girls who are attracted to the nerdy type.

[Glinda.Good]

You give your experiences and I'll give mine.

 

You don't even really know any women, or men, for that matter, yet you have the cojones to profess to know all about the dating lives and experiences of all of us!

 

SD - does it ever occur to you that you just MIGHT be incorrect about your positive assertions regarding everything relating to women, dating, sex, sex appeal, relationships, friendships, etc.? Do you ever think that it's kind of odd that almost everyone (who happens to have much more experience than you do in all these areas) tries to help you look at things differently than you do?

 

Holding tightly onto these erroneous beliefs of yours is very instrumental in keeping you stuck exactly where you are. Do you secretly want that? Because you refuse to look at or do things differently.

[somedude81]

And while you're at it, how about letting the socially awkward guys speak for themselves as well. I know and have known MANY who date. There are plenty of girls who are attracted to the nerdy type.

 

Virtualy every struggling guy here, myself included, is socially awkward.

 

Being socially awkward is most likely the primary reason why we struggle.

 

And no, being socially awkward is not the same as being nerdy.

[Glinda.Good]

I remember that there was a thread here where a woman had to decide if she was going to date a guy. He was classically good looking and over 6 feet, but unemployed with absolutely no prospects.

 

Every woman that responded called that guy a catch and said that he could just get a job somewhere down the line. I'm sure some of those female posters are also responding to this thread (it wasn't that long ago).

 

Just shows you where the minds of women truly are today.

 

Link, please. I don't believe it.

[Glinda.Good]

Virtualy every struggling guy here, myself included, is socially awkward.

 

Being socially awkward is most likely the primary reason why we struggle.

 

And no, being socially awkward is not the same as being nerdy.

 

I think you attributed your "struggles" 100% to being short, elsewhere …

 

And the nerdy guys I am talking about are definitely socially awkward, boy howdy. Some girls love them.

[Taramere]

It's just not PC these days to tell a girl that she isn't that great looking.

 

Why should you tell her? Unless she's actually asking you to give her an honest assessment of her appearance, why is it your place to pass such personal commentary that's bound to cause offence? Do you think that the world of women is one big beauty contest, where the point of a woman's existence is primarily to give other people opportunities to vote her up or down based on her appearance?

 

PC these days? Please. Manners aren't something that humanity only invented in the last 30 years.

Edited July 2, 2014 by Taramere

[man_in_the_box]

Also this board is totally not a good representative of what is acceptable or not IRL. Putting down men or women over their appearance is equally frowned upon.