You girls should never have problem finding a BF

[Phoe]

Women who lift usually date men who lift.

 

I personally haven't experienced that.

 

 

I lift about 4 times a week. I have a little more fat on me though, maybe about 19%, because I have no desire for cardio and like my food haha. So I'm definitely muscular but not hard. I have a little bit of soft padding over my muscles. 5'8 140 lbs.

 

 

I've never dated a man who goes to the gym. Most of my exes were shorter and skinnier than me. My current boyfriend is just slightly bigger than me.

 

 

For the most part there were never any problems with my previous setups, but sometimes I would be told I should stop working out so much, my exes feared I would get buff and look manly

[Salvatore85]

This exactly. I have no problems making friends. Men are more than happy to be my friend, chat with me, maybe partake in some shared hobbies with me, but have no interest in anything further.

 

 

There is a certain SOMETHING that is missing. "Something" beyond being a nice person and not hideous to look at it, that inspires a man to want more than just a nice friend to talk to.

 

 

Figuring out what that "something" is, is mind-boggling. It may not even be a tangible thing that can be described accurately, but some women inherently have it, whatever it is.

 

Are you sure they don't think you've friend-zoned them?

[hotpotato]

Of course you have to have things in common as well; that's a no-brainer.

 

Being nice, cute, and having things in common with a man can easily turn a woman into one of the boys. I have a lot of traditionally male interests, it is not always a plus as far as dating.

[man_in_the_box]

The truth is a man wants a woman who is smart and confident up to a point. When/if she starts outshining him, that's where the problem start.

 

We all know that most men do not want to feel inferior to the woman they are dating. Most men do not want to be a female in the relationship.

 

neither of us can speak for all men but i completely disagree with the above. There are plenty of men that are not afraid of a woman that outshines them on certain or most qualities - looking at western society here. I see no reason to assume that there are so little of these men to say they are insignificant and empirical findings dont convince me since mine are simply the opposite.

[Salvatore85]

Being nice, cute, and having things in common with a man can easily turn a woman into one of the boys. I have a lot of traditionally male interests, it is not always a plus as far as dating.

 

Maybe you're meeting the wrong guys....

[hotpotato]

Of course too much nice will kill a relationship. There is a happy medium though and you just have to find it.

 

Nobody wants someone fawning all over them or putting them on a pedestal. Most people want a partner/an equal.

 

That's why I say nice is bad for your relationship. People should aim to be assertive, not nice.

[Salvatore85]

That's why I say nice is bad for your relationship. People should aim to be assertive, not nice.

 

You know you can be both, right?

[Phoe]

Are you sure they don't think you've friend-zoned them?

 

It's impossible to truly know what goes on in their minds, but there have been cases where strangers would make comments insinuating me and a friend were dating, and the friend was quick to shoot down any such notion, saying they don't see me like that, and the thought of being romantic with me is weird.

 

 

Last year I was interested in 2 of my friends. I flirted quite a bit to try and give a bit of a "green light", but definitely failed. I remember there was a get together where me and both of the guys were talking, and they were both saying things like "Man, I have no game, I'm so bad with girls" and in my head I'm thinking "WTF - I would happily date either of you, I like both of you! Aghh!" - I kinda came to the conclusion that it's quite unlikely that either of them would openly talk about failing with girls in front of me, if they actually had interest in me.

 

 

It's hard to pinpoint exactly where I've gone wrong, but my awkwardness probably has something to do with it. SD pointed out earlier that I come off as awkward, am I know that's definitely true. Not shy, but certainly weird lol.

[sillyanswer]

Let me tell you within an hour i had 100+ msgs from different guys. In 2-3 days i had over 1000 msgs. I closed the account after that.

 

Did you read any of the messages?

[Targetlock]

It's impossible to truly know what goes on in their minds, but there have been cases where strangers would make comments insinuating me and a friend were dating, and the friend was quick to shoot down any such notion, saying they don't see me like that, and the thought of being romantic with me is weird.

 

 

Last year I was interested in 2 of my friends. I flirted quite a bit to try and give a bit of a "green light", but definitely failed. I remember there was a get together where me and both of the guys were talking, and they were both saying things like "Man, I have no game, I'm so bad with girls" and in my head I'm thinking "WTF - I would happily date either of you, I like both of you! Aghh!" - I kinda came to the conclusion that it's quite unlikely that either of them would openly talk about failing with girls in front of me, if they actually had interest in me.

 

 

It's hard to pinpoint exactly where I've gone wrong, but my awkwardness probably has something to do with it. SD pointed out earlier that I come off as awkward, am I know that's definitely true. Not shy, but certainly weird lol.

 

The old classic problem of having feelings for friends and they never seeing you in that way been there several times and it sucks. i try and never get involved with friends its just causes problems, never had it the other way and had a friend interested in me though.

[hotpotato]

neither of us can speak for all men but i completely disagree with the above. There are plenty of men that are not afraid of a woman that outshines them on certain or most qualities - looking at western society here. I see no reason to assume that there are so little of these men to say they are insignificant and empirical findings dont convince me since mine are simply the opposite.

 

I'll have to disagree with that based on my experience. The problems get especially bad if she can outshine him in traditionally masculine areas.

 

Maybe you're meeting the wrong guys....

 

I think you are making attraction to simple. Look at me and Phoe! We prove that is not necessarily true.

 

I personally haven't experienced that.

 

 

I lift about 4 times a week. I have a little more fat on me though, maybe about 19%, because I have no desire for cardio and like my food haha. So I'm definitely muscular but not hard. I have a little bit of soft padding over my muscles. 5'8 140 lbs.

 

 

I've never dated a man who goes to the gym. Most of my exes were shorter and skinnier than me. My current boyfriend is just slightly bigger than me.

 

 

For the most part there were never any problems with my previous setups, but sometimes I would be told I should stop working out so much, my exes feared I would get buff and look manly

 

I've gotten the manly thing,too. The trick is to date a man who is really buff or/and is very secure in his masculine identity. I haven't dated men who were traditionally fit, but looking around it seems like most other girls do.

 

Honestly, I casually dated a former semipro football player and another guy who happened to be very large, it was completely different.

 

My two boyfriends were skinny.There was an issue with my figure with the last one.

 

 

Honda Civic is not the bottom. Go date a fatty then tell us women to lower our standards.

Exactly.

[hotpotato]

You know you can be both, right?

 

Well, yes, but just being nice and cute won't necessarily get a woman a relationship. So now we can acknowledge that it takes more than being nice and cute to make a relationship work.

[Phoe]

The old classic problem of having feelings for friends and they never seeing you in that way been there several times and it sucks. i try and never get involved with friends its just causes problems, never had it the other way and had a friend interested in me though.

 

It was out of character for me!

 

 

I rarely get crushes, but this time I did, and with the advice of this forum decided to be a bit bold about it and flirt. It clearly was not working, so my mind said "abort! abort!" and I pulled back. Even though it didn't work, I don't regret trying something different and being a bit bold.

[Salvatore85]

It's impossible to truly know what goes on in their minds, but there have been cases where strangers would make comments insinuating me and a friend were dating, and the friend was quick to shoot down any such notion, saying they don't see me like that, and the thought of being romantic with me is weird.

 

 

Last year I was interested in 2 of my friends. I flirted quite a bit to try and give a bit of a "green light", but definitely failed. I remember there was a get together where me and both of the guys were talking, and they were both saying things like "Man, I have no game, I'm so bad with girls" and in my head I'm thinking "WTF - I would happily date either of you, I like both of you! Aghh!" - I kinda came to the conclusion that it's quite unlikely that either of them would openly talk about failing with girls in front of me, if they actually had interest in me.

 

 

It's hard to pinpoint exactly where I've gone wrong, but my awkwardness probably has something to do with it. SD pointed out earlier that I come off as awkward, am I know that's definitely true. Not shy, but certainly weird lol.

 

You went wrong by not telling them how you felt.

[Salvatore85]

Well, yes, but just being nice and cute won't necessarily get a woman a relationship. So now we can acknowledge that it takes more than being nice and cute to make a relationship work.

 

It can get you a relationship. It's up to you to sustain said relationship.

[Salvatore85]

It was out of character for me!

 

 

I rarely get crushes, but this time I did, and with the advice of this forum decided to be a bit bold about it and flirt. It clearly was not working, so my mind said "abort! abort!" and I pulled back. Even though it didn't work, I don't regret trying something different and being a bit bold.

 

It didn't work because they had no clue you were flirting lol. You're their friend so it didn't register. You should've just pulled the guy aside and told him how you felt.

[Phoe]

You went wrong by not telling them how you felt.

 

If my flirting didn't work, how would outright telling them how I felt work? That would have just ruined the friendships.

 

 

Before those 2, a few years back I outright approached 2 different men, and got instantly rejected. It stung enough that I didn't wanna try being THAT forward again.

 

 

I thought flirting would be enough of a green light, considering it's out of character. Asking if one would like to join me for an after work drink - I figured THAT was forward enough. But he said no, and told me to have a good night.

 

 

If he were interested he would have happily joined me. Further pushing it after being given some signals to stop, and just outright saying how I felt would have just been dumb.

[shet]

I ask every woman I meet, some of whom I've gone out of my way to "meet", who smile and laugh at what I say or do, out. Every one. I have physical standards, low ones, but they've never been a problem, no woman I've ever met and asked out has not fit my standards. I've even asked out a guy once. Didn't care about any incompatibilities. They come later.

 

Smile and laugh. That's all I want a girl to do. If you work 100 hours a week or secretly want to destroy the Illuminati or drink your own piss for medicinal purposes, that comes out later when I get to know you better, a bridge to be crossed when I come to it.

 

What men really want is someone who makes them feel happy. At least, that's what I want. And looking around I see that, most often. I lack a womans perspective but I don't believe it's any different for them. And when they've got it, all anyone wants to do is continue to be happy and make the other person happy. What else is there? What's all these rules you all spout?

 

I read this thread and it depresses me. I don't know how you can all be here talking at cross purposes. I don't know how everyone can be so wrong. You're all worth more than this.

[Woggle]

I don't want a woman who dominates me because I hate being controlled but I don't want to dominate a woman as well. In my relationship we truly have an equal relationship and that is what I prefer. Nobody is trying to compete or outshine the other.

[Salvatore85]

I don't want a woman who dominates me because I hate being controlled but I don't want to dominate a woman as well. In my relationship we truly have an equal relationship and that is what I prefer. Nobody is trying to compete or outshine the other.

 

This is exactly how I feel. Very well put!

[Woggle]

Another thing is that while there is obviously more than sweet and nice men are pretty simple in what we want. We don't expect relationships to always feel like living in a romantic movie. I have always had high standards but they came from the realm of reality.

[Targetlock]

Seems like it comes down to that one ingredient: confidence!! though sometimes that is not easy to find and sometimes our worst enemies are ourselves.

[hotpotato]

It can get you a relationship. It's up to you to sustain said relationship.

 

It nots working so great for me and Phoe so far.

I could probably go out and find a lot of guy friends, but dating is a completely different ballgame.

[Targetlock]

It nots working so great for me and Phoe so far.

I could probably go out and find a lot of guy friends, but dating is a completely different ballgame.

 

It is sure, oddly enough thanks to work i have far more female friends than male friends, none available or my age though.

[Imported]

Wrong.

 

Most men just don't want to compete with the woman they are dating. There is a difference.

 

So most men are fine with women wearing the pants and dominating him?

 

How are you dominating? Why would you want to or even think that you are?

 

You probably think guys don't come up to you because they are afraid of comparing up to you. I think it's just because they got better things to do. Who the **** wants to put up with **** where there shouldn't be ****.

 

I don't want a woman who dominates me because I hate being controlled but I don't want to dominate a woman as well. In my relationship we truly have an equal relationship and that is what I prefer. Nobody is trying to compete or outshine the other.

 

What I am looking for is like;

 

If you got rid of everything that is spiritually superficial (what I think it is), job, home, income, fancy degree....all the things used for measuring cock....you know, stuff you brag about that when you are dead and gone is of no matter. If you got rid of that and we are still right for each other and that would be the girl I'd want.

 

Women that concerns themselves with "who wears the pants", is competing. We shouldn't be competing. I love her and this is what she has to offer and it doesn't matter to me how much that is. She is seperate from that.