TwoTowns Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Today I have been married 22 years; we are in a separation partly due to my affair with a man I have known for 24 years (who I have now twice had a relationship with). Please read my previous threads for the details. Today I realize, finally, that although they were the only two men I ever loved, neither one of them truly loved me. I finally realize today that I begged and groveled and humiliated myself for years, in an attempt to get from them what they always had from me. It is a hard pill to swallow. I am scared that I will have a broken heart forever. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
blue963 Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Two Towns sometimes I think, we as women, give so much of ourselves and we get taken advantage of. I am so sorry for your pain. I hope you find some resolution to your hear very soon 1 Link to post Share on other sites
A.Moscote Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Both of them are pretty much the same as you, and many of us here as well, never truly honest and devoted to own partner. Surely the chances to improve ourselves and grow will always come, and the broken hearts can be mend. The scars, however, no matter how well concealed, will always be there. Take care, and be optimist, you can still make amend and rebuild your life again. Link to post Share on other sites
SoftViolin Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 I, too, am sorry you are hurting. I say this without fully knowing your story, but it's hard to tell what people really feel. They may have loved you in your own way, but often 'in your own' way is not enough, and not even acceptable. But that doesn't mean anything about you, and that certainly doesn't take away the wonderful future you will have now, if you can leave all this behind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedMarriedOW Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 How painful. My hope is that what you can gain from this is a knowledge of what you need and will require in your relationships moving forward. If you felt unloved at home, it makes sense that you were reaching out for love elsewhere and were hoping that you found it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 Two Towns sometimes I think, we as women, give so much of ourselves and we get taken advantage of. I am so sorry for your pain. I hope you find some resolution to your hear very soon I don't know the statistics, but surely seeing the amount of heartbroken men on this site suggests it's not gender specific to devote a lot of time and effort to a relationship? Maybe you've been hurt by a man, but that doesn't mean all men will be like that to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nofoollikeanoldfool Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I don't know the statistics, but surely seeing the amount of heartbroken men on this site suggests it's not gender specific to devote a lot of time and effort to a relationship? Maybe you've been hurt by a man, but that doesn't mean all men will be like that to you. Agreed I am an ex MM who left M and got divorced in the hope that MOW would do the same. She always told me she loved me etc, currently in NC after nearly two year PA and EA and possibly looking like I have been thrown under the bus. I am devastated and heart broken, not unusual on here I know. I feel so sorry for you but it's not only women you are left feeling abandoned. Good luck, I hope you manage to rebuild. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I find it odd that OP would expect more/better from her husband then she has given. Its clear from reading that OP focus has been AP for 24 years while being married for 22. I think the one who has the complaint is the one who had 22 years of his life stolen from him by a woman in love with another man. Just my opinion. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Scorpio Chick Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 NO TWOTOWNS!!! You will NOT have a broken heart forever. It certainly feels like it. But you cannot bank on 'feelings'. I am sorry you're feeling this bad, I'm having a bad day too. I didn't get as involved as you did, so I can't be feeling the depths of sadness as I know you are. Just remember, there was the time before you knew either of these men. You are in your before period before you meet someone else. Take your time 'healing', you will get there. As far as them not loving you, that doesn't make sense. They were in a relationship with you. You were in this with someone else. You're just feeling the depths of the sadness about all of it, so naturally every thought proceeds with negativity. Go easy on yourself with this. Link to post Share on other sites
fellini Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 (edited) "Anyone who loves must know how to lose themselves, and find themselves again" "Anyone who loves in the expectation of being loved in return, is wasting their time" Paulo Coelho. Edited June 8, 2014 by fellini Link to post Share on other sites
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