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Boyfriend got a tattoo with his ex gf’s name!!

poolhallprincess

By poolhallprincess,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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poolhallprincess

poolhallprincess

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My boyfriend got a tattoo with his ex gf’s name!!

 

We’ve been together 5 years, he has many tatts, he has two with my name.

 

I’ve always known what his ex meant to him, it’s something that he has always been open and honest about. A few weeks ago he came home after a week away with his mates with a tattoo of her name IN A LOVE HEART on his back. His explanation was that she shaped his life and changed him for the better (all true) and this was to honor and acknowledge that change.

 

I wont pretend I was happy but I accepted his explanation and we moved on after agreeing that next time he will run any tatts past me first.

 

I must have been subconsciously worried because for the first time ever I snooped through his phone. Without going into details he has been chatting to her via text messages, I couldn’t see any sent or received calls, but the most worrying part is that she wanted “to meet for lunch AGAIN, same place as USUAL” !!!!!!

 

As best I can tell they got back in contact 3 months ago and they text on average once every 2-3 days. However there is nothing about any previous lunches or meetings which makes the “meet for lunch again” text seem rather strange.

 

Now I’m paranoid I’m being played here and that they are together and I’m just being laughed at behind my back. I will of course be confronting him but I just wanted to survey other people to gauge their opinions.

 

So what say you? Is there any chance this is all legit?

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Rar0

Rar0

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I don't think it's real. If he's no longer with her ask him to remove the name tatt. It's tacky, I wouldn't do that.

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veggirl

veggirl

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Seriously? lol WTF. Hell no.

 

Just no.

 

oh and the secretly hanging out with her behind your back? Well you're okay with him getting her name PERMANENTLY MARKED ON HIS BODY so I don't see why that part would be the bothersome thing to you. He can forever link his body to her but lunch is not okay? lol what.

 

The tat and the secret lunches are both absurdly inappropriate but I honestly can't reconcile how you're okay with staring at her name IN A HEART on his body every day but not okay with LUNCH.

 

I think your man is in love with his ex, maybe trying to get her back behind YOUR back...with her name on his back. Whoa.

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poolhallprincess

poolhallprincess

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I don't think it's real.

 

It is a very real tatt (if that's what you meant).

 

If he's no longer with her ask him to remove the name tatt. It's tacky, I wouldn't do that.

 

Umm, ok.

 

We have been together 5 years so obviously they are not together. He only got his tatt recently for the reasons I outlined in my post.

 

She is a wonderful person and the things she did for him he (and I as I now am reaping the benefits) will be forever grateful for.

 

There's a big stretch between having plenty of love and admiration for her and what she did and actually getting her name tattooed on you, especially in a love heart.

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poolhallprincess

poolhallprincess

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but not okay with LUNCH.

 

Lunch I would be ok with, It's the deception that I am annoyed at.

 

oh and the secretly hanging out with her behind your back? Well you're okay with him getting her name PERMANENTLY MARKED ON HIS BODY

 

Well I am not "OK" with it but I do understand the reasons he gave. Whether they are legitimate reasons or a cover up for the real reason is what I am trying to figure out.

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Zahara

Zahara

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You're reaping the benefits? You have a boyfriend that has his ex's name in a heart permanently marked on his body. He's been secretly seeing her for lunch behind your back. You're posting on the Cheating forum. I'm not sure what benefits you are reaping because this one just smells bad. I think you are being taken for a ride.

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veggirl

veggirl

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Lunch I would be ok with, It's the deception that I am annoyed at.

 

 

 

Well I am not "OK" with it but I do understand the reasons he gave. Whether they are legitimate reasons or a cover up for the real reason is what I am trying to figure out.

 

What are the reasons he gave for getting his exes name tattooed on his body IN A HEART?

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poolhallprincess

poolhallprincess

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You're reaping the benefits? You have a boyfriend that has his ex's name in a heart permanently marked on his body. He's been secretly seeing her for lunch behind your back. You're posting on the Cheating forum. I'm not sure what benefits you are reaping because this one just smells bad. I think you are being taken for a ride.

 

Well the forum also says jealousy, that is why I posted here. If it is the wrong place I am happy for it to be moved.

 

And I agree it smells bad. I just want to be sure before acting on what I know.

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Zahara

Zahara

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Well the forum also says jealousy, that is why I posted here. If it is the wrong place I am happy for it to be moved.

 

And I agree it smells bad. I just want to be sure before acting on what I know.

 

Be sure of what? If you can deal with the tattoo, then fine. But he's seeing her behind your back. If he can openly get a tattoo and tell you it's because she means a lot to him, then why the need to hide behind your back about meeting her for lunch? He should be able to be open about that as well, if it were all that innocent.

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poolhallprincess

poolhallprincess

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What are the reasons he gave for getting his exes name tattooed on his body IN A HEART?

 

They are not relevant, It is a private matter. But the reasons he gave are very much real and consistent with everything he and his family and friends have discussed with me over the years.

 

If the reason he gave is the truth I am happy for the tattoo to stay. Sure I don't like that he did it without asking and I sure don't like that it's in a heart but I can deal with all that. I really have no problem with her name being there but rather what the context of it being in a heart means. And now add that to the text message and hence why I am worried.

 

What I don't know is whether the reason given is the real reason. I am only now doubting after initially believing him after seeing what was on his phone.

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Keke1

Keke1

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Seriously? lol WTF. Hell no.

 

Just no.

 

oh and the secretly hanging out with her behind your back? Well you're okay with him getting her name PERMANENTLY MARKED ON HIS BODY so I don't see why that part would be the bothersome thing to you. He can forever link his body to her but lunch is not okay? lol what.

 

The tat and the secret lunches are both absurdly inappropriate but I honestly can't reconcile how you're okay with staring at her name IN A HEART on his body every day but not okay with LUNCH.

 

I think your man is in love with his ex, maybe trying to get her back behind YOUR back...with her name on his back. Whoa.

 

Lol you know how much dumb **** ppl put up with to keep a person?

Op stop calling him your boyfriend. Our BF seems much more appropriate

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poolhallprincess

poolhallprincess

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If he can openly get a tattoo and tell you it's because she means a lot to him, then why the need to hide behind your back about meeting her for lunch? He should be able to be open about that as well, if it were all that innocent.

 

This is what I am thinking. Honestly though I am not even sure they met for lunch.

 

The text from her said she wanted to meet again but there is no other texts mentioning previous meetings or whether they met. There is also no history of voice calls suggesting it may have been organised that way.

 

I know it looks bad but I don't want to go in all guns blazing and making all these accusations and then look the fool.

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veggirl

veggirl

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They are not relevant, It is a private matter. But the reasons he gave are very much real and consistent with everything he and his family and friends have discussed with me over the years.

 

If the reason he gave is the truth I am happy for the tattoo to stay. Sure I don't like that he did it without asking and I sure don't like that it's in a heart but I can deal with all that. I really have no problem with her name being there but rather what the context of it being in a heart means. And now add that to the text message and hence why I am worried.

 

What I don't know is whether the reason given is the real reason. I am only now doubting after initially believing him after seeing what was on his phone.

 

Okay so it's a special snowflake type of thing. Something no one else could ever possibly understand. K.

 

My ex bf, I literally saved his life. he was COMMITTING SUICIDE and I found him.

 

If he got my name tattooed on his body, I would be weirded out as f*ck. SORRY but there are other ways to honor someone who helped you, and also...FIVE YEARS after the fact? Even weirder. Your bf is impulsive and acts on a whim and currently making decisions based on how he feels right now...right now he feels zomg luv for his ex so he got her name tatted on him. I mean why now? Why not 5 years ago or any time in between? Just randomly "had to" when they started meeting up for secret lunches...huh...

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Rar0

Rar0

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What are the reasons he gave for getting his exes name tattooed on his body IN A HEART?

 

Why would anyone do that recently?

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poolhallprincess

poolhallprincess

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Okay so it's a special snowflake type of thing. Something no one else could ever possibly understand. K.

 

There is no need to be deliberately facetious. I am sure everyone could understand it completely. It is just a private matter and the details would add nothing to the conversation.

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Rar0

Rar0

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They are not relevant, It is a private matter. But the reasons he gave are very much real and consistent with everything he and his family and friends have discussed with me over the years.

 

If the reason he gave is the truth I am happy for the tattoo to stay. Sure I don't like that he did it without asking and I sure don't like that it's in a heart but I can deal with all that. I really have no problem with her name being there but rather what the context of it being in a heart means. And now add that to the text message and hence why I am worried.

 

 

You sure about not having a problem with it?

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veggirl

veggirl

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There is no need to be deliberately facetious. I am sure everyone could understand it completely. It is just a private matter and the details would add nothing to the conversation.

 

Well, getting an exes name tattooed on your body after over 5 years typically requires some explanation. Personally I can't think of one that is acceptable to me, just wondered what would make it acceptable to someone else. Obviously you aren't required to share, but I'm pretty sure it would shed some light on the situation since it's hard for like 99% of people to understand a partner being okay with the other getting an exes name tattooed in a heart on their body after being broken up for 5+ yrs.

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poolhallprincess

poolhallprincess

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You sure about not having a problem with it?

 

I have been jealous about the bond they share because of it. But that was many yeas ago, he loves me now (well I hope he still does) and I have learned to deal with that jealousy.

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ascendotum

ascendotum

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If your bf used to be a druggie/obese/unemployed/petty criminal type and this ex took care of him financially, supported him while he got qualifications or rehabilitated or got in shape, and helped get his life back, then I can understand why he will be forever grateful and maybe honor the huge part she played in turning his life around. I can understand the tattoo, but much more so if he got it done 5 yrs ago or just had her inked without the love heart. To do it now it now 5 yrs later is weird, and he really should have run this past his gf. This would piss off a lot of women.

 

The fact he is getting the tatt now + also renewing contact with his ex is bad news for the OP. Its really obvious he still holds strong feelings for the ex, and lots of people still do for an ex, but the tatt and meeting up secretly with her...its not just a matter of fond memories...his feelings are getting acted on, and with no thought for his current gf's feelings.

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Keke1

Keke1

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I have been jealous about the bond they share because of it. But that was many yeas ago, he loves me now (well I hope he still does) and I have learned to deal with that jealousy.

 

& here is the problem.

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Rar0

Rar0

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I have been jealous about the bond they share because of it. But that was many yeas ago, he loves me now (well I hope he still does) and I have learned to deal with that jealousy.

 

I don't think he loves you because if he did it would've been you name in the tatt and not hers.

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poolhallprincess

poolhallprincess

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it's hard for like 99% of people to understand

 

I'm sure you should be speaking on behalf of the masses but in any case I do agree that most would find it unusual.

 

It is "just" a tattoo and it DOES represent some life defining moments, BUT it's also in a heart. If the tattoo was in some scroll work I would have no issue at all. That is me, others don't need to agree.

 

I think the bigger issue is the (possible) meetings for lunches behind my back. I need to get to the bottom of that.

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poolhallprincess

poolhallprincess

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I don't think he loves you because if he did it would've been you name in the tatt and not hers.

 

This tatt is the size of a tennis ball. There are two other tatts with my name and both a bigger.

 

Not that size matters :)

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Rar0

Rar0

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This tatt is the size of a tennis ball. There are two other tatts with my name and both a bigger.

 

Not that size matters :)

 

You bf is special

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