Ladies: Do you not even bother with the locals?

[irc333]

People from small towns don't care about bumping into exes because they are so used to it. Where I live, anywhere you go you might see someone you dated. It's no big deal.

 

Most people prefer to date local and than act like adults when it ends.

 

I was wondering when someone was going to answer this. "Act like adults", but I didn't want to come off as labeling people who take issue with the fear of "bumping into someone again" as a means to have some policy of NEVER dating someone in your social circle, same building, same Meetup, same grocery store, etc. To me its just an excuse.

 

It's like you're going into it with failure already in mind or a self-defeatist attitude.

 

Sounds like there's no options of men in your town. That's why these women venture further out.

 

Yes, likely....the one I had initially spoke of, was quite a shocker, because she was in quite the big city.....then I saw her required salary in a mate had to be 6 figures (On Match.com) then I could see why she was choosing to travel long distances. She lamented how she has her ex's Benz sitting in the garage and has to take it out for a drive on occasion to let it air out. lol

[irc333]

ALso, small towns mean low wage jobs.

 

I.e. - Waitress having a fling with the bus boy at the local TGI Fridays....these jobs are a dime a dozen. There's no real concern for any "career blunders"

[AnneG]

There's a few women I met, and they do live in good sized cities,too. That simply gave up on dating local men in their area because, "Sigh, I can never find a decent guy where I live! I'm considering moving!"

 

Of course , they never do relocate. LOL They're just "talking", but do you find it rather odd that in a large city that women have a hard time meeting single men?

 

I never really heard of men complaining in the same fashion, as if it doesn't take much for them to have the same criteria, yes?

 

 

In my own opinion, if i wanted to find a decent guy, I would join community outreach programs and since iam a catholic, I will join church choirs and community services.

 

Will also consider an online dating website so i can find guys that shares the same beliefs that i do, i heard a lot about FaithfulMatch | Seek the faithful - Find your Match

 

I hope this helps.

 

AnneG

[D.Mc.]

For NYC, local means local: men & women who live in Manhattan are not driving to the "burbs" for dates. They are taking the subway 2 stops at most. In the outer boroughs it's just as provincial: Bklyn/Queens/S.I. etc all want to date in their own neck of the woods: no one likes driving over a bridge/across a tunnel unless it's for work. I respect this, but it does rule out a lot of people in the OLD pool.

 

I'm partial to men in Manhattan b/c I don't drive so it's just easier & safer for me. However, my lack of car turns off a lot of guys in my suburban area, so I can't win on this dating dealbreaker.

 

Geography matters. I can't tell you the # of good looking men on POF I don't message b/c they live in L.I. or N.J.

[irc333]

For NYC, local means local: men & women who live in Manhattan are not driving to the "burbs" for dates. They are taking the subway 2 stops at most. In the outer boroughs it's just as provincial: Bklyn/Queens/S.I. etc all want to date in their own neck of the woods: no one likes driving over a bridge/across a tunnel unless it's for work. I respect this, but it does rule out a lot of people in the OLD pool.

 

I'm partial to men in Manhattan b/c I don't drive so it's just easier & safer for me. However, my lack of car turns off a lot of guys in my suburban area, so I can't win on this dating dealbreaker.

 

Geography matters. I can't tell you the # of good looking men on POF I don't message b/c they live in L.I. or N.J.

 

WOW? Really? See I've never been in NY. Though technically if you draw a straight line between the 2 locations...it's not really far. Guess that's a whole diff. world out there.

[irc333]

In my own opinion, if i wanted to find a decent guy, I would join community outreach programs and since iam a catholic, I will join church choirs and community services.

 

Will also consider an online dating website so i can find guys that shares the same beliefs that i do, i heard a lot about FaithfulMatch | Seek the faithful - Find your Match

 

I hope this helps.

 

AnneG

 

 

AnneG...I gave up on finding women in my Catholic church...most there are married with children. There was this ONE SINGLE woman that I kept seeing at my church a while ago...later saw her online and it gave me a reason to email her through the dating site.

 

I said I saw her in our church pretty much every time I was there, she says she does remember seeing my face, but thought our age differences were too great.

 

(Actually, it wasn't that big an age diff...I was in my early 30's at the time, and she was in her mid to late 30s...figured it was just an excuse)

 

But she was kind of snobby anyhow, not very engaging in conversation in person when I'd see her at Mass.

 

Anyhow, such places are mostly families and children. You hardly ever see a single person in our churches around here.

[EngnimaticResponse]

.....then I saw her required salary in a mate had to be 6 figures (On Match.com) then I could see why she was choosing to travel long distances. She lamented how she has her ex's Benz sitting in the garage and has to take it out for a drive on occasion to let it air out. lol

 

Ah yes. Relationship prostitution. The art of the Gold-Digger.

[GemmaUK]

I prefer to meet someone for a few first dates in the next town.

Reason being that I have lived here for years and so I bump into someone I know almost everytime I am out.

My hair is also memorable..so I have been told and people come up to me saying they 'know me' when I don't actually know them?!

 

If I do meet someone for a first meet in my town I have a deliberate meet place and I know the guy who works there...part of that is for safety.

 

If I see someone I know while on a meet/date then it is assumed I am with whoever they saw me with..this is aside from whether I ever see them again! It's laughable!

 

In my area most folk assume that I am married..even though I don't wear a wedding ring. I have been told by those that thing this (and tell me so)d that they assumed it's because of how I look..and that I should have been snapped up apparently!

I view me as a pretty normal 45yo woman...who in my view looks 45.

My age is normally guessed at 32-35 (in the past year anyway) so I shave off 5 years to be polite and make that 37-40. Nice compliment! .

[MissBee]

Dating isn't easy.

 

I suppose living in a small town makes it worse.

 

But even if you live in a big city, it doesn't mean that every time you walk down the street you meet a great potential date.

 

Often the grass seems greener on the other side. Whether it's the idea that all the good men are married, live in another city/county/country/planet/aren't born yet or something else. Women complain about this all the time and I've lived in 3 major cities...same complaints and when I talk to women from other cities, same complaints so if you add it all up there aren't any good or single men ANYWHERE lol. Good men and women are in every place, but they simply may not be a dime a dozen and living in a big city doesn't make it so that you don't have to kiss tons of frogs before finding a suitable person...it just doesn't.

 

I prefer dating within a reasonable distance, but can't say that I am very perturbed by distance. I travel a lot and live between states, when I'm school versus when I'm out etc. I live in the city proper and my bf lives in the suburbs, about a 30 minute drive from me; however, I'm away for the summer in another country doing research so we'll be long distance for 3 months and if we continue to date or anyone I date, this will often be the case, unless he can just up and come with me. Once I and the person I'm dating have the willingness and means to travel I find that I don't mind and I've done long distance across countries before (definitely don't prefer it and won't go looking for it, but distance isn't an instant deal breaker for me).

Edited July 24, 2014 by MissBee

[irc333]

Well, the suprising part is, she doesn't live in a small town, but a rather large, metro area. However, most of her opportunities, of which she turns down, are people who bump into her in the same building (hospital) or just out and a bout running errands. Apparently, she runs along the same path of the same people.

[Lonelyyou]

I am an Australian and am currently working on a project with a secondee from Florida, US. Anyway, i asked her if American girls liked the Australian accent and she said they do (at least she did) because it was "funny". So i think some ppl like something a bit different to what they are used to. Doesnt mean what they are used to is bad.