Wanting more but dont know how

[aadozie21]

I really like a guy and I've like him for two years and we just recently started talking... But he says that he doesn't want to date anyone anymore at this moment because his last two relationships were really bad. But he knows I like him and he says he wants to be really good friends... But I've never wanted anything more than to date him so what do I do???

[todreaminblue]

I really like a guy and I've like him for two years and we just recently started talking... But he says that he doesn't want to date anyone anymore at this moment because his last two relationships were really bad. But he knows I like him and he says he wants to be really good friends... But I've never wanted anything more than to date him so what do I do???

 

 

You cannot force anyone to date you,and if you have strong feelings can inhibit friendship if you try and force those feelings on another.

 

 

But in all honesty I feel friendship is the best start to a relationship with someone and often the dating part is done in friendship so you skip it altogether.Why i prefer to date from friends first is they get to know you on an intimate basis and a personal basis without interruptions and personal angst feelings which often come with physical intimacy such as holding hands and cuddles etc.

 

With me being friendzoned is not bad i am not one to push for physical intimacy early.When you are friends with someone you also get to know how they feel about different issues and behaviours that might not be suitable to take further into a relationship that is mutually satisfying or happy for both parties.

 

Be friends with him and enjoy time together, save dating it isnt going to happen, get to know the guy you feel strongly for without pressure on either of you.....

[preraph]

What you don't do is you don't stop seeing other guys. That is very important. You must not focus on this guy since he's already said no. He might be a nice guy trying not to hurt your feelings or you probably just aren't his type. Guys will tend to sleep with just about anyone they know they can, so the fact he isn't going for it knowing you like him tells me you're either both too young to be having sex or he's truly not attracted.

 

Again, if you are going to make a friendship with him, do it without focusing on him and only while you continue to date and pursue other guys because odds are this is going nowhere and will be a big waste of time and emotions.

[askmrknowitall]

First ASK HIM what he means by ( REALLY GOOD FRIENDS ) ". Do not assume that you know what it means, because you may not ( example: he could mean that he wants the two of you to be friends, hang out, go to a movie, or he could mean that he wants the two of you to be friends with benefits). Once he gives you the answer to that question, then and only then can you, and MUST you decide, whether what he's offering is acceptable to you. I ask you to remember this line from one of my poems " It's not possible for you to love someone enough to make love exist between the two of you, in order for that to happen you must have his participation". This man has make it clear to you that for whatever reason he is not interested in you romantically. If his friendship is not enough for you ( meaning that it hurts to much to continue to be around this man just as a friend), then you need to be honest with yourself, and him.

Warning: Please don't make the mistake of thinking that if you get with this man, and you stay with him through this time in his life when he doesn't feel good about being in a relationship with ANY WOMAN, that when he does feel like being in a relationship with A WOMAN, it will be YOU, because that is not what he said.

 

ADVISE: Find someone who wants to be in a relationship with YOU, at the same time that you want HIM. It appears to me that no matter which of the two choices mentioned above that you take, he's going to be happy and you're going to get hurt.