brokenheart94 Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 Hey guys i dont know where to begin cuz im an emotional wreck right now and i really need some insight into how i can get thru this. My ex of 2 years broke up with me 4 months ago because she didnt think we could have a future but still said she loved me. A day later we broke up started going out with someone she knew for a while and are still going out to this date. For the past few months ive been trying to get her back but she gradually started to get cold and send me one word replies to a point where she said she had no feeligns for me and we are over and so stopped talking to me altogether. I spent days and nights trying my best to accept that we are over but my feelings for her are still true. We stop replyign for a few weeks but then she messages me, talk for a couple of days and she then blocks me again and so forth. She knows how i feel about her. Yesterday i was going through the day, keeping myself busy, hitting the gym tryna get her off my mind but then she messaged me. I thought id ignore it but then she said somehting which shattered me... She said she was pregnant. I was shocked and hurt, and i felt sick inside but i played it cool and asked her if she really is pregnant. She said she was and that she and her bf are happy about it. I respected that but i wanted to let her know of the consequences since they are only 17 (i'm 20) and she has only known him for 4 months but her reply was 'i dna'. She asked me if i wud accept her and still love her even if i found out she was pregnant and my reply was yes. I really do care for her but i feel as though my chances of getting her back has just gone through the roof and have no choice but to move on from the only person i ever said i love you too. I personally dont know her bf properly but from her friends reaction he isnt a good person (he is also very controlling) and if her parents who are strict finds out then she is dead... But she says she wants the baby and its her and her bf's choice. Im just shocked and hurt because i wanted us to get back together some time and i feel hopeless now.. Any advice is welcome.. Link to post Share on other sites
FortunateSon Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 Respect yourself and move on. Go total NC immediately and walk away from this, it doesn't sound like a healthy situation and will only bring you pain in the future. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart94 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Share Posted June 7, 2014 Yh i have gone NC. I deactivated my fb and she blocked me on whatsapp so i cant contact her. I just cant get my head around this situation. Just over 4 months ago she was in my arms and now has someone elses child. Its a hurtful pill to swallow since i wanted her to be the mother of my child Its so hard!! Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 Dude, consider yourself lucky. You dodged a bullet. If she got with this guy the day after, then it's evident that he was always in the background. Meaning she was cheating either physically or emotionally (both of which are wrong). I would count my blessings and enjoy being a single 20 yr old. Have no further contact with her, unless of course you plan on being either a babysitter or the guy she comes running back to when the stresses of maintaining a relationship and having a baby get to be too much. If she texts you again reply with "Hey, hope all is well with you and the baby. Good luck!" Then delete her number and purge her from all social media. Again, count yourself lucky! Best of luck bro! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart94 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Share Posted June 7, 2014 thanks alot man. Im trying my best but there r times where i remember how me n her always wanted to have a family and im the kinda guy who doesnt move from one girl to another so when i said id be with her forever i meant it. So when i think about this it just hurts a little n makes me realise we r actually over. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I know the feeling...I was in a five yr relationship and got cheated on and dumped at the airport (ain't that something!). I had the same feelings [this is who I want going to marry, buy a house with, children, blah, blah, blah]. But the reality was, I was the only one thinking in this manner. Definitely much happier without her in the long run. Once trust is broken, it is incredibly difficult to regain. It's going to hurt (and it's supposed to) because you actually cared about this person. I'm not telling you to hate her. But why let someone who doesn't really care about you occupy your mind and take time you could be investing in a better woman? I'm like you in the sense that I don't move from one girl to the next in a snap. You should use this time to heal, do fun things with friends, figure out what you will and will not put up with, and enjoy every bit of freedom you have. The only thing constant in life is change. The minute you think you have life figured out, something comes along and takes you down a different course. You will make it bro! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
somegoodman Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 lol you told her you still love her after she got pregnant with another man? CMON You don't even realize how lucky you are to be free of this ho. You have your whole life ahead of you. she's 17 and preggers and dollars to donuts she'll be a single mom within a year. Never talk to her again, I mean EVER. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
bluenote Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 Bro at 20 you realy do not need this, its not required of you to have such very intense,dramatic and complicated things going on in your life. I am not trying to degrade your age but, this is the time that you enjoy your youth and try out and have a field run with the ladies, and I don't mean womanizing I mean fraternizing, getting to know their general tastes etc. before you decide on the one. Love is normal but why put all your eggs in one basket and a spoiled one for that matter. I think now you have a good enough reason to run away and fast. Please don't make the mistake I did, you will find later on in life that you have imprisoned yourself but you can't turn back the years,then its too late. I am 160% sure a year or five from now, a woman will walk past you and like a very strong magnet you will want to follow her, that creature will overwhelm you with her presence and beauty, I tell you, you won't even want to touch her, you'd rather put her in you personal collection to admire everyday. having said that, please leave her,let her go you will be happy again it is guaranteed you will be good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart94 Posted June 8, 2014 Author Share Posted June 8, 2014 Thnks alot everyone! it means a lot to know that there are people who realise what im goin through. Yeah it is a big change n something which in time i will get over. I tried all i can to show an alternative route (better route) but shes stubborn n wants nothing to do with me. She says me n her r ovef.amd ill use that as a backbone to help me move on. Link to post Share on other sites
bluenote Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 Don't wory it will blow over, it does. I realy wish I had the ability to go where you are and give you a glimps of near future then you would feel much better at the snap of a finger. You are a good man at heart and thats why it eats you, I am sure now you even feel sympathy for her and you feel protective of her, you are not vindictive. Forgive yourself and be prepared, you will have healthier fun with, and do think about the lady you are with now how would she feel about all this, don't do to to her what you wouldn't want to be done with you. What you do to solve your problem now will determine how you deal with similar problems ywenty years from now, so you are not on LS after twenty years like me when you my age please 1 Link to post Share on other sites
VanessaVanessa Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 (edited) Hey guys i dont know where to begin cuz im an emotional wreck right now and i really need some insight into how i can get thru this. My ex of 2 years broke up with me 4 months ago because she didnt think we could have a future but still said she loved me. A day later we broke up started going out with someone she knew for a while and are still going out to this date. For the past few months ive been trying to get her back but she gradually started to get cold and send me one word replies to a point where she said she had no feeligns for me and we are over and so stopped talking to me altogether. I spent days and nights trying my best to accept that we are over but my feelings for her are still true. We stop replyign for a few weeks but then she messages me, talk for a couple of days and she then blocks me again and so forth. She knows how i feel about her. Yesterday i was going through the day, keeping myself busy, hitting the gym tryna get her off my mind but then she messaged me. I thought id ignore it but then she said somehting which shattered me... She said she was pregnant. I was shocked and hurt, and i felt sick inside but i played it cool and asked her if she really is pregnant. She said she was and that she and her bf are happy about it. I respected that but i wanted to let her know of the consequences since they are only 17 (i'm 20) and she has only known him for 4 months but her reply was 'i dna'. She asked me if i wud accept her and still love her even if i found out she was pregnant and my reply was yes. I really do care for her but i feel as though my chances of getting her back has just gone through the roof and have no choice but to move on from the only person i ever said i love you too. I personally dont know her bf properly but from her friends reaction he isnt a good person (he is also very controlling) and if her parents who are strict finds out then she is dead... But she says she wants the baby and its her and her bf's choice. Im just shocked and hurt because i wanted us to get back together some time and i feel hopeless now.. Any advice is welcome.. If she has told you it's over and has blocked you yet she unblocks you or messages you again randomly then it seems that she is keeping you close for her own reasons. Why did she tell you she is pregnant if she says to move on. She seems to want to contact you at her conditions and it kind of is like she wants to see how much you will stand by. From what I read that is what I gathered. I think you should start and stick to a longer term no contact phase. See how you view her, yourself, and the situation in general after at least 3 months total n.c. I can be sure you will get a clearer grasp on the situation. As other people have said, in some ways you need to consider yourself lucky in not being involved in that situation at a young age. Sorry to hear this and hopefully you will move on from this in time. Edited June 8, 2014 by VanessaVanessa Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart94 Posted June 8, 2014 Author Share Posted June 8, 2014 Im trying my best to stop thinking about her.but everything reminds.me of her n it stings n i also remember the memories we had when we were together n it hurts the most. But i know that over time this pain will become less. I wud of done everything for this girl n i will support her thru thick or thin but it isnt my fault that she doesnt want to be with me n its her loss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart94 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 Thank u every1. Wenever i feel down i read the advices u awesome ppl gave n it helps. N i mean it from the heary Link to post Share on other sites
hidden_ua Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 man, forget her. you'll be better soon. bol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenheart94 Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 im doin my best Link to post Share on other sites
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