juicygirl Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 (edited) Oh and the guy was driving so couldn't have been drunk! Edited June 10, 2014 by juicygirl Autocorrect Link to post Share on other sites
juicygirl Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 (edited) Who the hell said I'm blaming her! Okay, whatever...We'll just go with the ethos that all men are guilty until proven innocent. Usually how it works in court anyway. But, can someone answer me this? Why would a true rapist bring their victims to their home where the could easily be identified instead of a seedy rent by the hour motel and left her there after he was done? Look, OP I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you find closure and support, but I have to bow out before I'm accused of advocating to the rights of rapists (hell, I already have been! guilty until innocent) instead of a guy with questions. Take care. My guess is because he would be seen by staff and CCTV, bringing a woman who appeared "drunk" or not all together in to a motel. Maybe he assumed that she would come to the conclusion that she originally did, as she couldn't remember.She would assume that she got drunk,had sex with some random guy, it was all her fault not taking any further, especially since she had a lot to lose by speaking up. Edited June 10, 2014 by juicygirl Auto Link to post Share on other sites
mikethemechanic Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 There's something a little off about this story that makes me tap my nails. Cops usually arrest the prep and the DA makes a plea bargain 90% of crimes are plea bargained even before a trial date is set. As for the drug thing the only one who'd put the date rape drug is the rapist so he'd be a strong suspect. Why would friends let someone blacked out get into a car? If the drug was placed in the car they must have had a drink in the car, yet op makes no suggestion of this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
excusememister Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Why would friends let someone blacked out get into a car? If the drug was placed in the car they must have had a drink in the car, yet op makes no suggestion of this. OP wasn't blacked out when she got into the car. She even had a conversation with the perp. i told him i was going home because my head hurt and i didn't feel well. he offered to give me a ride. my friends have apologized so much for letting me get in that vehichle but they said up until that point i had not acted any different than usually and this guy who had given us a ride had been the perfect gentlemen. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 but I am getting worked up and only wanted to let the non judgmental people know what happened. we got to karaoke and i told my friends i wasn't feeling well and was going to call a cab. the man who had given a rolled down his window and asked what was wrong. i told him i was going home because my head hurt and i didn't feel well. he offered to give me a ride. my friends have apologized so much for letting me get in that vehicle but they said up until that point i had not acted any different than usually and this guy who had given us a ride had been the perfect gentleman. they texted me 20 minutes later to ask if i had made it home safely and i replied with a yes but i was going to bed. OK, I think some are not reading the above post correctly. The OP said at the party she was going to get a taxi but someone who was there offered to give her a lift. This was someone who her friends had said seemed like a gentleman but would certainly have been able to drug the OP and take advantage of her feeling unwell. Link to post Share on other sites
velvette Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 There's something a little off about this story that makes me tap my nails. Cops usually arrest the prep and the DA makes a plea bargain 90% of crimes are plea bargained even before a trial date is set. As for the drug thing the only one who'd put the date rape drug is the rapist so he'd be a strong suspect. Why would friends let someone blacked out get into a car? If the drug was placed in the car they must have had a drink in the car, yet op makes no suggestion of this. There's no jurisdiction in the world where the police would have investigated, obtained toxicology and DNA results, made an arrest AND made a plea deal in the few days it has been since this happened. You don't know that the only one who would put the drug would be the rapist. Maybe there were two guys from the party who rape together. Not unheard of. Hopefully, the police will be able to narrow down the rapist from the group of men at the party. If you read the OP, she wasn't blacked out when she got in the car; however, she was already feeling sick enough that she decided to go home....more than likely already feeling whatever she was drugged with. Since the real police are investigating what happened, I doubt the OP needs any of us amateur sleuthing the case. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikethemechanic Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 In violent crimes such as murder and rape the suspects are called in immediately it's called the first 48 hours. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatsJustHowIRoll Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 But, that's the thing! We don't know what happened after she got into that car! And neither does she apparently! Someone could have slipped her the mickey at the party, but she left with a headache before the aggressor could put the moves on her or taken advantage of her before the drugs took affect. She may have gotten into the car with this other guy and SHE might have been the aggressor towards him under the influence of drugs and alcohol! Chances are he might have had a couple of drinks onboard himself. So, IF she was aggressive towards him, couldn't that be viewed as HIM being the one raped? So, in essence, this guy could have participated with what he thought is consensual sex and ends up going to prison for it. Or is this scenario implausible. Now, I will agree with you. Date rape drugs do happen. And I'm disgusted by even the thought of it. BUT, I hope that you would be even as opened minded that there are some men that are wrongly accused of raping someone by some women trying to save there current relationships. Case in point, 2007, woman in San Antonio,TX. Man comes home early from a card game and caught his wife with another man on top of her. She cried rape and her husband grabs his gun and shoots the guy dead. Turns out that she wasn't being rape. She was having an affair and she invited her lover to the home. Now, not the same scenario that's happening here. But, honestly, the police are going to have to look into this one. This is not the time or place! Op has come here for support, and this is your response??? Stop! Just stop! No wonder rape is so bloody underreported. That goes for you too, Spectre. Op has suffered a trauma...and you are adding to that trauma.....provide support or push off. Pray you never have to suffer through rape. Shame on you. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
janedoe67 Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Who the hell said I'm blaming her! Okay, whatever...We'll just go with the ethos that all men are guilty until proven innocent. Usually how it works in court anyway. But, can someone answer me this? Why would a true rapist bring their victims to their home where the could easily be identified instead of a seedy rent by the hour motel and left her there after he was done? Look, OP I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you find closure and support, but I have to bow out before I'm accused of advocating to the rights of rapists (hell, I already have been! guilty until innocent) instead of a guy with questions. Take care. You obviously have not read the OP or the replies. No one said all men are guilty. Maybe Harley doesn't believe in rape, but it does exist, and that IS what happened on THIS THREAD. And as far as ending up at some dude's house....they stopped by because he was one of her friend's new BF and they wanted to meet him. I get it guys. YOUR wives cheated on you. This. Woman. Didn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikethemechanic Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 For a cop like me who follows protocol I must say that I haven't seen it. Let's say that there were four male suspects at the party and all of them were interviewed together all that would be needed is to ask for a confession believe it or not most people suffer from guilt. Ask all four to volunteer for a polygraph and the one who refuses becomes the suspect! The other option is to collect DNA by offering them a cigarette, water even food then let each of them know that you have their DNA and that your giving them a chance to come clean, most come clean. Most rapists have files though not all have charges. The other problem is issue of the drug- chances are that the person who used it uses drugs themselves so you could simply ask the suspect if he imbibes narcotics. The biggest determiner is what is known as game theory were reduced sentences are offered in exchange for confession. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Oh and the guy was driving so couldn't have been drunk! What? How? How can you say this? I'm not saying dude was drunk, but you do realize people do drive drunk, right? You also realize not everyone who drives drunk gets into an accident every time? I have no idea if he was drunk, but your reason for why he wouldn't be does not make the slightest bit of sense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 I get it guys. YOUR wives cheated on you. This. Woman. Didn't. Your tone surprises me. Since yeah, I get it: you are implying he is using the hurt from his own life and getting upset over another matter(like this), that he is projecting. Thing is though, it's not just the people who have been cheated on who play this game. It's the cheaters too, the ones always so quick to run to the aid of any cheater. Since, I also get it, I get you cheated and I get you were forgiven. It's not just those who have been betrayed who have a tendency to project on this forum, is my point. Anyways, at this point the thread probably has no reason to be kept open, or at least no reason to be in the infidelity forum anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
mikethemechanic Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 most violent crimes of this nature are solved almost immediately! When the op went to the hospital citing that she may have drugged then raped, DNA from the prep should have been collected especially if semen was there. then the police would have been called in to make a police report it would interesting to know what the report said. Also there's an even easier way, its a felony to accuse someone of a crime that they didn't not commit, if the married man took a polygraph and passed it then the op could be considered a suspect in wrongful claim until proven otherwise, meaning that op must take a polygraph. Remember op named a man as a suspect. Link to post Share on other sites
janedoe67 Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Honestly, if I were the OP, I would lock this thread and never come back. Accusing a rape vistim of lying......pathetic. WE are not a jury. So much for support. I am not defending a cheater because THERE IS NO CHEATER in this case. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mikethemechanic Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Honestly, if I were the OP, I would lock this thread and never come back. Accusing a rape vistim of lying......pathetic. WE are not a jury. So much for support. I am not defending a cheater because THERE IS NO CHEATER in this case. Nobody is accusing the op of lying! Link to post Share on other sites
atreides Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I already posted my opinions and feel for the OP, but i wanted to address some of what happened the way i see it via the posts. One thing i will say, just as with those that have opinion that "if you cannot say something nice, then say nothing at all" or that posts must be in agreement or to support vs criticize or judgmental vs non-judgmental that in the same breath we are also quick to lump BS's to WS's via opinions. I recall when @jane was tired of being thrown under the bus for not being able to have a valid opinion because she is a WS, for example. To me the topic got so heated that in principle I started a thread to go over in principle the argument at hand without personally involving the OP, i did not think it was fair. As for this thread: There was not enough information given originally at least to be honest about it. For me it is not enough to say, "i normally can hold my liquor but...." come on, an honest assessment??? Countless times one can be X one day and Y the other or how much alcohol can be consumed and not black out. The OP defined what she did as cheating originally but now is drastically a very different poster than she was with the original post in terms of context. Black out also at least to my understanding is functioning but not recording what is happening, so you wont remember the next day even though you could appear to be normal. When i read her last post, the most concerning thing i had was this: my friends have apologized so much for letting me get in that vehicle but they said up until that point i had not acted any different than usually and this guy who had given us a ride had been the perfect gentleman. they texted me 20 minutes later to ask if i had made it home safely and i replied with a yes but i was going to bed. i don't know what happened after that. This freaked me out, she replied that she was home, so I took that to mean she was already out possibly and the guy initiated the text?? How evil is that? the police are on it and as i don't remember anything they are going by me being drugged and dna. i do not much and i feel far to attacked here to share what i learn or do know. Sadly we wont know the whole story but i feel for her. my husband is behind me 100% and has been the wonderful man i love so much. i am seeing a therapist today and i know it will be a hard journey ahead. my husband told me that even without being drugged he would not have been angry at me. he told me this before we got my test results. Clearly the OP wants to keep the results to herself as the main point is whether she was drugged or not, her H is with her. I wish her all the best. Link to post Share on other sites
sweet_pea Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 OP, I'm sorry you were drugged and taken advantage of. I hope that whoever did this to you is identified and faces consequences. I also sorry that there are people in this thread trying their hardest to make it seem like you are lying or making things up about your experience. Sadly, that is how a lot of people are when situations of rape happen. Just know you are innocent in this and did not cheat on your husband. I'm very glad that you're husband is so supportive and loving of you and is there for you!! Thank you for updating us!! I hope everything works out well for you. Link to post Share on other sites
velvette Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 most violent crimes of this nature are solved almost immediately! When the op went to the hospital citing that she may have drugged then raped, DNA from the prep should have been collected especially if semen was there. then the police would have been called in to make a police report it would interesting to know what the report said. Also there's an even easier way, its a felony to accuse someone of a crime that they didn't not commit, if the married man took a polygraph and passed it then the op could be considered a suspect in wrongful claim until proven otherwise, meaning that op must take a polygraph. Remember op named a man as a suspect. If you read the OP, she said the cops took DNA. What they are doing with it at this point, she either does not know or did not say. The cops would not be advising her step by step of how they are investigating. No, she is not required to take a polygraph under any circumstances. If she wants to that's fine, but no one can be forced to take a polygraph. I would think if you are a cop you would know that. Kinda makes me tap my nails. Especially seeing as how you just joined today to comment on this thread. OP if you are still reading, my advice to you would be to not discuss the specifics of your case here or anywhere else on line. Also, if the cops did not already ask you to do so, I would write down every last detail of what happened that you can remember start to finish before it starts to fade or become confused in your mind. Again, I hope you are ignoring the ignorance that is being demonstrated in this thread and talking with people who can support you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jonah Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 unless you have something against shots and drinking Nothing against alcohol, just stating the fact that having shots and drinking can lead to bad things happening. Just one "for instance" is that you will run into more evil people in that environment than pretty much any other. Not judgmental, I cant afford to be... just pointing out that you can have just as much fun and have less bad things happen in your life if you leave the alcohol out of your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
janedoe67 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 One thing i will say, just as with those that have opinion that "if you cannot say something nice, then say nothing at all" or that posts must be in agreement/QUOTE] Who said this????? Thanks for the honorable mention, btw Link to post Share on other sites
velvette Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Nothing against alcohol, just stating the fact that having shots and drinking can lead to bad things happening. Just one "for instance" is that you will run into more evil people in that environment than pretty much any other. Not judgmental, I cant afford to be... just pointing out that you can have just as much fun and have less bad things happen in your life if you leave the alcohol out of your life. Do you not think that someone determined to drug and rape would have slipped that drug into a coke if that's what she was drinking? Why are you guys and lets face it you are all men in this case defending a rapist and blaming a vicitim? Link to post Share on other sites
atreides Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 One thing i will say, just as with those that have opinion that "if you cannot say something nice, then say nothing at all" or that posts must be in agreement/QUOTE] Who said this????? Thanks for the honorable mention, btw no problem. I read that line somewhere in this thread, i will have to find it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonah Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I'm so glad to have lived beyond the partying lifestyle. Such a waste of time. But I never so stupid as to not understanding exactly what caused the catastrophies when they came. Somebody else's fault. Yeah sure, sort of... Non of those things would have happened if I wouldn't have been drinking. One drink effects judgement. After that... who knows what can happen. Link to post Share on other sites
janedoe67 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I'm so glad to have lived beyond the partying lifestyle. Such a waste of time. But I never so stupid as to not understanding exactly what caused the catastrophies when they came. Somebody else's fault. Yeah sure, sort of... Non of those things would have happened if I wouldn't have been drinking. One drink effects judgement. After that... who knows what can happen. So what exactly are you saying? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
velvette Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 So what exactly are you saying? Does it really matter? Why ask someone to make sense out of their nonsense? Seems his point is if you have a drink you deserve or caused your own rape. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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