Called my mother the C word and she freaking punched me

[SpiralOut]

If every teenager got punched in the face for every rude or smartass remark they make to their parents, the high school classrooms would be full of kids with black eyes and broken teeth. I'm shocked by the number of posters here who say he deserved to be punched. It's not okay for a parent to punch their child.

 

It sounds like nobody in that family knows how to express anger in a healthy way and OP has picked up some bad habits. I'm not saying that it was okay to use the "C word," but at the same time, when parents don't model good behaviour, it shouldn't be that surprising when their children act out.

 

I'm wondering how the father speaks to the mother.

[whichwayisup]

Oh man now I can't even have my cell phone back nor go out to one my friend's older cousin's wedding, which is going to be held by Wednesday.

 

She won't give me back my cell phone. Sucks

 

Guess at 16 that's a big thing. Anyway, you won't die without your phone and yeah missing the wedding sucks but hey, consequences are happening.

 

Take it and learn from it. Don't talk back to your parents, show them respect and learn to not react with such anger and rudeness. Instead of freaking out, stop and think before you speak.

[whichwayisup]

Ok if anyone is wondering about the argument, the reason I said it was stupid (probably the stupidest one ever) it's because it was really about me playing video games and just as I was about to win, she turns it off. Then she starts nagging endlessly how I should be helping out more, that I'm going out too much with my friends, keeps mentioning about the SAT exam, etc. I was going to help out anyways but I just needed to finish that final last level.

 

I got upset and that's when I said ''I only needed just one level to finish it'' and she wouldn't stop nagging. Then I was like ''You stupid c***'' and that's how it happened.

 

Now because of this stupid argument, I can't go to that special wedding reunion my friend is having this Wednesday and I can't use my cell phone. I've been searching for it but can't find it.

 

I'm sure she had enough. Doubtful it was just this one time she asked you to do something and you didn't right away...Seems this has been building on her side for a while and you reacting the way you did pushed her over the edge.

 

Be thankful that you have a roof over your head and your parents can afford video games, food and a cell phone. Let me guess, they pay for your cell? I assume they do..

 

Stop searching for the phone. If you find it, you're gonna get in worse trouble than you're in now.

[lollipopspot]

Oh man now I can't even have my cell phone back nor go out to one my friend's older cousin's wedding, which is going to be held by Wednesday.

 

She won't give me back my cell phone. Sucks

 

This is what she should have done in the first place. Not hit you.

 

At one point in my life I would have disagreed with you. But after being assaulted by my ex wife and also having been accused to child abuse (legally disproven as false), I now believe in complete 100% legal equality. If a father punched his child, the mother would call CPS. The same should go for mothers. Sorry, ladies, I'm done with the double standards.

 

What the hell? What is this about double standards? He's said several times that his dad hit him too - and this started when the kid was younger and less able to defend himself too. We gave the same advice in this thread. Seriously, some of you are so eager to make everything a gender war. This isn't one. Knock it off please, it makes LS a war zone.

 

It sounds like nobody in that family knows how to express anger in a healthy way and OP has picked up some bad habits. I'm not saying that it was okay to use the "C word," but at the same time, when parents don't model good behaviour, it shouldn't be that surprising when their children act out.

 

I agree with this. Too much hitting and name calling in this family. There are better ways to deal with conflict.

 

OP, you do not want to carry this into your adult life. This will wreck your future relationships. No hitting, no name calling, even though it seems that's how you've been raised.

[Silly_Girl]

You don't call women the c word, especially your mother. If you're getting into fights with your father and doing stuff like that it sounds like you needed a punch in the face. Luckily enough you have a mother who loves you enough to give you one.

 

It's a major insult but everyone is entitled to express their feelings. Maybe the timing or language was wrong here.

 

And no. NO NO NO. A verbal insult shod NEVER elicit violence. No matter who it is, and least of all within a family. Very sad situation.

[Silly_Girl]

 

IF you believe in personal responsibility at all, OP, then you SHOULD apologize for calling the woman who carried and raised you such a horrible name. SHE is responsible or her choices.

 

She chose to have a baby, he didn't choose to be born. He owes her no gratitude for carrying/raising him.

[ThatMan]

What did you think about the previous suggestion of bootcamp? Have you ever thought about joining the military? There's violence and then there is the good forms of discipline. Sometimes people thrive off what the military has to offer.

 

At any rate please consider looking for assistance... What happened was not okay, it was illegal, and you don't have to go at it alone.

[thefooloftheyear]

It's a major insult but everyone is entitled to express their feelings. Maybe the timing or language was wrong here.

 

And no. NO NO NO. A verbal insult shod NEVER elicit violence. No matter who it is, and least of all within a family. Very sad situation.

 

 

Youre right.....No dessert for him that night...

 

TFY

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

She chose to have a baby, he didn't choose to be born. He owes her no gratitude for carrying/raising him.

 

Wow. You can't be a mother. He owes her no gratitude because he didn't choose to be born?? This is the reason kids like him who get to sit in their rooms and play video games, talk on their cell phones, chat on the computer and then call their mother a stupid c**t have no gratitude. Because they're spoiled, self entitled brats. How dare she turn off his video game and nag him about the things he was supposed to do??

[janedoe67]

Wow. You can't be a mother. He owes her no gratitude because he didn't choose to be born?? This is the reason kids like him who get to sit in their rooms and play video games, talk on their cell phones, chat on the computer and then call their mother a stupid c**t have no gratitude. Because they're spoiled, self entitled brats. How dare she turn off his video game and nag him about the things he was supposed to do??

 

I weep for our future. "That country won't give me my way. I'm Pushing the button!" Stomp, stomp. "Hey, dude, pass me a roach."

[ThatMan]

Wow. You can't be a mother. He owes her no gratitude because he didn't choose to be born?? This is the reason kids like him who get to sit in their rooms and play video games, talk on their cell phones, chat on the computer and then call their mother a stupid c**t have no gratitude. Because they're spoiled, self entitled brats. How dare she turn off his video game and nag him about the things he was supposed to do??

True...

 

We're all going to be hard pressed to find anything positive to say about this young man's recent behavior. His behavior is frankly unacceptable. That doesn't mean we cannot both condemn his decisions without being forced to defend child abuse. Any form of violence is wrong be it through words or fists. But you aren't a spoiled teenager sitting around on a computer game all day. It's about time that you've acted your own age. Advocating the use of violence and abuse is inexcusable. You ought to be deeply ashamed of yourself.

 

I think you had the right idea to begin with by presenting the option of bootcamp to your own son. The right form of discipline can become a very positive thing for any young adult. Cadets often walk away with a great sense of accomplishment and use that experience to set the foundation to begin their life from. Although with you I suspect bootcamp and juvenile detention were merely a means to threaten your fourteen year old son with homeless to make him stop clenching those fists.

[Kar_M]

Violence is not acceptable - but you did call her a pretty vile name. I guess you won't do it again - sorry for sounding blunt but you'll probably calm down then realise you had the biggest part to play in it. If i called my mother that both she and my dad would likely punch my face. Not kidding! Hope its not too painful

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

True...

 

We're all going to be hard pressed to find anything positive to say about this young man's recent behavior. His behavior is frankly unacceptable. That doesn't mean we cannot both condemn his decisions without being forced to defend child abuse. Any form of violence is wrong be it through words or fists. But you aren't a spoiled teenager sitting around on a computer game all day. It's about time that you've acted your own age. Advocating the use of violence and abuse is inexcusable. You ought to be deeply ashamed of yourself.

 

I think you had the right idea to begin with by presenting the option of bootcamp to your own son. The right form of discipline can become a very positive thing for any young adult. Cadets often walk away with a great sense of accomplishment and use that experience to set the foundation to begin their life from. Although with you I suspect bootcamp and juvenile detention were merely a means to threaten your fourteen year old son with homeless to make him stop clenching those fists.

 

 

Look. I stated my thoughts and opinions, and you can take it however you want. I'm not ashamed of anything, and at the end of the day your opinion about me means squat. My children are happy, healthy, AND respectful and thats all I care about. Holler child abuse advocate all you want. Its obvious he's more hurt by losing his phone than that pop to the mouth.

 

And I called several places to inquire about enrolling my son. When I say something, I mean it.

[beatcuff]

OP you continue to withhold information. we are getting the trickle truth, note the follow up posts with more background. but still not sure WHY he fought his dad: see message #26, we know about the fight but not what led to it. OP is framing the conversation for sympathy while avoid the root cause. and several other posters are feeding you well: call the cops, any violence is bad (more on this below).

 

Mom did not walk in and shut off your game withOUT warning, did she? in fact she told you at least 3 times that day to shut it off and do 'x'. of course you should ignore her its something you have done numerous times before. well she finally had it.

 

it appears each of you have difficulty with emotions. you were pissed at what she did, call her C*** and she hit you. both were wrong. YES a child can be wrong.

 

i suggest you seek out an IC. they will allow you to discuss your thoughts without judgement. sorry parents will judge, why? they are scared. they want the best for you. and well frankly they don't know the answer and are scared they will fail you. if you had an honest conversation with them you may find out they see themselves as failures.

 

Mom sees you 'wasting' your life playing video games while an important SAT test (which helps determine the college you can attend) is closing in. she wants you to do well so you get into a good college, a good degree, a good job and BETTER LIFE THAT HERS.

 

and the truth is if she could, she would be playing video games as well (or her vice of choice).

 

back to calling the cops --- seriously that is step that should not be taken lightly (which some posters are). if in US, thanks to lawsuits: when they arrive they will arrest your mom. she will spend the hours at the station. the cops will be REQUIRED to call social services (they will do their own separate investigation). if it is a weekend she may spend it there in jail waiting for arraignment (especially in a typical town). so no work on Monday AND dad will have to be there as well (two work days down). oh and her name will be in the local paper (police log). next she will need to hire an attorney ($500 +/-). she will spend another day at court for the 'trial'. with no real defense it will be more of a what is the sentence. if she had no priors it should be more of the judge telling her to 'stop it'. if there are priors --- this maybe a real situation.

 

then social services will have their say, not withstanding what the courts say. they may take you to a foster home.

 

do they deserve that --- MAYBE. the home should be a place a child feels safe and secure. frustration will happen when persons are in constant close contact. an occasional physical confrontation while not ideal is allowable (thinking more of siblings). but there are other avenues that are much better choices. an IC will guide you there.

 

good luck.

[RonaldS]

Hmmmmm.....sounds to me like his mom is a stupid c*nt.

 

It's hilarious to read a lot of comments here scolding this guy for his behavior and that his mom deserves respect. Really? GTFO.

 

First of all, where did he learn this behavior from? Video games? His friends? Or, you know, possibly, ummmm...her? Exhibit A? She punched him in the face. Punched. Not slapped, not pushed, not scratched. Punched. Grown woman punching her son? Seems pretty sh*tbag to me.

 

So, I think it's safe to say that if she's a sh*tbag now, she was a sh*tbag when she was younger. She probably did a bunch of stuff that those defending her now would admonish her for had she come on here and posted about it. But, she goes and has a baby, and all of a sudden, she's Mother Theresa?! Hahaha. Come on. She's the same sh*tbag she's probably always been.

 

Having grown up with an abusive mother who also blamed me for her every failure in life, I don't have a ton of sympathy for her.

 

I'm not saying the OP did the right thing in calling her a c*nt. Me? I decided that the abuse and disrespect I grew up with ended with me, and I couldn't fathom treating my kids like that. The OP still has a chance to break the shackles and grow into a person who can figure out better ways of handling things (I hope). But his parents are probably lost causes.

 

Anybody here defending the mom for punching her son needs to take about 30 seconds to rationally think about the situation.

[janedoe67]

I for one am not defending her for punching him. That was wrong. But she isn;t here. HE is. And yes, it was wrong to call her a c word. Thing is, he is going to encounter all sorts of less than stellar people in his life. One or two of them might be his boss someday. In the real world, you go off on your boss like that when "they are getting on your nerves," you get fired. And if you have kids at home, those kids don't eat.

 

It's part of real life. So at some point all these people who think they deserve to be able to express every feeling they have as crassly as they want are going to get a rude awakening. I have to wonder how this kid talks to his teachers. And anyone else in a position of authority.

[MissBee]

I would have probably on reflex slapped you in the mouth if I was your mother. I'm not saying violence is okay or right but I have to be honest and say that on reflex I might have just done that too.

 

I cannot fathom ever speaking to my parents like that and I cannot fathom having my child disrespect me in that way....

 

If you were my child, well, you'd have to find elsewhere to live as I don't play that.

[Silly_Girl]

Its obvious he's more hurt by losing his phone than that pop to the mouth.

 

Which makes it even more incredible that she resorted to assault.

[Silly_Girl]

Wow. You can't be a mother. He owes her no gratitude because he didn't choose to be born??

 

Well, I am a mother... one of mine is a young adult who is doing me very proud indeed.

 

Respect is a two-way street. You can't buy respect with violence and fear.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Well, I am a mother... one of mine is a young adult who is doing me very proud indeed.

 

Respect is a two-way street. You can't buy respect with violence and fear.

 

Who said anything about buying respect?? YOU said a child doesn't owe a parent any gratitude because they didn't ask to be born. So he should expect to play video games, have a cell phone, and surf the web then insult his mother and SHE should worry about respecting him?? Twisted indeed. I've wasted enough time on this silly thread.

 

To the Op: I hope you and your parents get the help you need to build a better relationship and resolve the issues in your household. Good luck.

[thefooloftheyear]

Do people actually call this outright assault?

 

Ive seen it all....sheesh...

 

TFY

[Art_Critic]

Well, I am a mother... one of mine is a young adult who is doing me very proud indeed.

 

Respect is a two-way street. You can't buy respect with violence and fear.

 

Ask your young adult child if he would ever call you the "C" word, I'd bet you will never have to cross the bridge, in the OP's household she has had to cross that bridge

 

In my home growing up I can tell you that if I disrespected my Mom in any fashion let alone calling her names she would have belted me too, and then told my Dad and he would have had a whack at me as well..

 

You don't disrespect your parents is how I was brought up.

[Taramere]

It was a stupid argument yesterday and yes I did called her a stupid c***. Thing is she didn't slap me but actually freaking punched me. As a result, it drew a bit of blood on my mouth. I swear had it been a guy friend or my older brother, I would have punch him back hard and wrestle him to the ground. I ain't afraid of my father either. I have gotten into two physical fights with him and my mother had to separate us.

 

I immediately told her how I hated her and went to my room sulking. 16 year-old boy here. I just don't hit girls nor women but I'm soooo upset. I don't think it was right what she did either. Isn't she also in the wrong?

 

I tend to be anti physical chastisement, but had I ever called my mother a stupid cunt I would have expected a very hard slap across the face for it, and I would have felt I deserved it too. It's a line you just should not cross...and if you do cross it, then be prepared for a reaction of extreme anger. You pushed the boundaries - own it, and stop sulking about the consequences.

[Silly_Girl]

Ask your young adult child if he would ever call you the "C" word, I'd bet you will never have to cross the bridge, in the OP's household she has had to cross that bridge

 

In my home growing up I can tell you that if I disrespected my Mom in any fashion let alone calling her names she would have belted me too, and then told my Dad and he would have had a whack at me as well..

 

You don't disrespect your parents is how I was brought up.

 

I can't imagine my son ever would call me that.

 

He's never been belted or whacked. Never even had the back of his hand tapped.

[ThatMan]

Do you still want help, drummerdude98?

 

Look at what beatcuff had to say.

OP you continue to withhold information. we are getting the trickle truth, note the follow up posts with more background. but still not sure WHY he fought his dad: see message #26, we know about the fight but not what led to it. OP is framing the conversation for sympathy while avoid the root cause. and several other posters are feeding you well: call the cops, any violence is bad (more on this below).

 

Mom did not walk in and shut off your game withOUT warning, did she? in fact she told you at least 3 times that day to shut it off and do 'x'. of course you should ignore her its something you have done numerous times before. well she finally had it.

 

it appears each of you have difficulty with emotions. you were pissed at what she did, call her C*** and she hit you. both were wrong. YES a child can be wrong.

 

i suggest you seek out an IC. they will allow you to discuss your thoughts without judgement. sorry parents will judge, why? they are scared. they want the best for you. and well frankly they don't know the answer and are scared they will fail you. if you had an honest conversation with them you may find out they see themselves as failures.

 

Mom sees you 'wasting' your life playing video games while an important SAT test (which helps determine the college you can attend) is closing in. she wants you to do well so you get into a good college, a good degree, a good job and BETTER LIFE THAT HERS.

 

and the truth is if she could, she would be playing video games as well (or her vice of choice).

 

back to calling the cops --- seriously that is step that should not be taken lightly (which some posters are). if in US, thanks to lawsuits: when they arrive they will arrest your mom. she will spend the hours at the station. the cops will be REQUIRED to call social services (they will do their own separate investigation). if it is a weekend she may spend it there in jail waiting for arraignment (especially in a typical town). so no work on Monday AND dad will have to be there as well (two work days down). oh and her name will be in the local paper (police log). next she will need to hire an attorney ($500 +/-). she will spend another day at court for the 'trial'. with no real defense it will be more of a what is the sentence. if she had no priors it should be more of the judge telling her to 'stop it'. if there are priors --- this maybe a real situation.

 

then social services will have their say, not withstanding what the courts say. they may take you to a foster home.

 

do they deserve that --- MAYBE. the home should be a place a child feels safe and secure. frustration will happen when persons are in constant close contact. an occasional physical confrontation while not ideal is allowable (thinking more of siblings). but there are other avenues that are much better choices. an IC will guide you there.

 

good luck.

 

That was the most down to earth and sincere message you'll ever find here.

IC = Individual Counseling.

 

I understand why you came here and what sort of convenience the internet provides. It's easy to communicate online from the safety of a comfortable room. But there's so much more to look forward to in any kind of individual counseling. What happened is very overwhelming for anybody to deal with. In counseling you can narrow down the ideas of what to do to get through this. That might even include funneling all that stress into activities such as sports, drumming, video games in a more social setting, or even your first job if you haven't worked yet. You never know until you try but please consider the suggestion.

 

Of all the things you could possibly call your mother, the c word is probably the most degrading are hurtful thing to say. There are adult women that have no idea what they would personally do in this position, but they would no longer allow you to live under their roof. Sixteen year olds just like you have been kicked out of their house into boarding institutions. What you did was that severe and that unacceptable. It's a huge deal and you won't find the help you need on the internet. Never expect anything particularly insightful from a woman who anonymously identifies herself with a Marylin Monroe photo of all things. Never expect your situation to change through speaking to strangers on the internet. Reading people go off about your mother won't help you either. Things are tough right now but she's still your mother and being told that she's a bad person won't make you stop being ticked off and unable to enjoy life at this moment.

 

Please ask your parents about therapy. If your parents are unwilling to take you then approach your school counselor the next time school begins after the summer break. Don't rely on fun distractions like video games or the internet to make everything better. They won't make things better.

Edited June 10, 2014 by ThatMan