Does anyone think the procedure to get a girl is too exhausting??

[Ryan R.]

..... what's your point???

 

I just don't understand why guys complain about having to do the approaching, escalating, or leading women, or this or that. Its just silly.

 

Having to do all that is an OPPORTUNITY. The fact that other men are scared sh*tless of women is an OPPORTUNITY for you to jump them in the pecking order by taking charge. Would you rather just get judged solely on your God-given physical appearance? I know I wouldn't.

 

It's silly because we supposedly live in a post-feminist society in which men and women are socially equals. Women want equal pay but still expect men to make X amount a year or buy everything. It's great that women now have more rights and all, but it's ridiculous to expect nature to roll over and submit because things are now more socially on track. It just seems like women want more and more despite even being lawfully equal to men. It's like where does it end, you know?

[Mr Scorpio]

The exhausting thing should be the lifelong process of becoming a person that girls like. That doesn't come so easily.

 

 

This. Most anyone can obtain a relationship just for the sake of obtaining one (which is a pretty poor reason for doing so). However, building oneself up to the point that they are desirable to the people that one is interested in? Not easy. Frickin' economy.

[2.50 a gallon]

for217

 

 

As you I was not born with this ability. In fact I was painfully shy, so shy, that indeed when I blushed, which was several times a day at school, it hurt. Add to it, in high school I was extremely short, growing 6 inches, to 5' 6" between the ages of 18-20, and then I still weighed around 125. But I was determined to get my share of pussy, so I forced myself to learn to talk to women. For me the key was learning to dance and then practice so I danced well enough to have women ask me to dance.

[Ryan R.]

That is interesting to hear, inspiring, its just it seems for most guys, getting a girlfriend is instinctive natural common sense for them in their teens and early 20's

 

I wouldn't necessarily call it all instinct. These guys probably had strong male role models (uncles, fathers, cousins) who taught them about women early on. My dad was always in and out of the house on business. He did talk to me about women in passing but that's it. My mom was the one who pretty much taught me about sex. I'm not saying her role is any less important but she can't relate to the male point of view about dating and courtship. She's a girly girl to the core and she can't even begin to put herself in those shoes. Love her to death, but still the fact remains.

[teap0t]

Funny, I was just discussing this in another thread.

 

Part of the problem is men thinking all these elaborate perfect moves and jumping through hoops and competing to with the girl is necessary.

 

 

More often than not, it's just plain not that horribly complicated.

 

 

You know how my exes got me? They asked me out. That's all it took. No competitions, no vying for my interest. Just ask. That's all.

 

 

When I did OLD, 18 men messaged me. Out of those 18 men that I talked with, only ONE asked me out.

 

 

The ONE that asked me out, got the date, and is now my boyfriend.

 

 

Simple.

 

 

too good to be true. And now I am older, I can see that. And kick myself at the girls I just wanted to go out with but didn't ask them...but then you come to the whole issue of this. Its not the asking out which scared me [although I didn't do it often, but it wouldn't have done and still wouldn't] its the actual chatting to them. I never used to know what to say, when I fancy them. I still don't. I don't know how people go up to girls in pubs and talk to them.

 

Believe me, if I could do this, asking out would be no problem at all.

[2.50 a gallon]

Wrong. Women are judged by their beauty, their attractiveness. All of my sexual relationships, dates, etc., have been with beautiful women. And once you get to know them, you learn how much of an effort they put in to make themselves look good.

My current GF is a grandmother of a teenager, and still has an hour glass figure. Over the holidays she always puts on a few extra pounds. And always, by the end of January the pounds are gone. She does this by eating less and walking around the block. When I first met her I thought by judging her age by her face that she was 20 years younger than she is. Twenty years later she still looks 20 years younger. That is because, every night without fail, she spends at least half an hour cleaning her face. A routine of very hot washcloth, followed by rubbing in cleansing lotions, followed by rubbing in creams, then letting it sit for awhile, followed by another hot wash cloth

When was the last time a man spent half an hour every night washing his face?

When is the last time you heard of a man plunking down thousands of dollars for a boob job?

[2.50 a gallon]

Wrong again.

It has been my experience that generally after the third date if not sooner women began contributing to the relationship

My ex-fiancé on our first Christmas is a good example. I think I bought her four presents. She bought me at least a dozen, new fishing pole and real, tackle box, wader boots, none of them cheapies as she worked in a sporting goods store, cowboy boots, records, shirts, pants

My former GF once paid a grand for a model that she knew I wanted. About once a week she treated me to some fancy expensive restaurant, she took me to Disney land, air fare included, numerous times we spent weekends at Bed and Breakfasts, in the mountains, near the coast, at her expense. She also offered to take me on trips to Hawaii, Cancun and to the ruins, to the Bahamas, and last but not least a two week trip to Tahiti, to try scuba diving

My current GF, we have been living together for coming up on a decade. She pays half the bills. She is forever buying us something new for the house, spent close to a grand for a new couch, I was OK with the old one,

Three years ago for Christmas, she spent nearly $400 for a new wide screen TV so I could watch my football and NASCAR races. About once a month she will take off and go shopping by herself. Without fail, she always brings something home for me. Pair of pants, a new shirt, socks, a year ago she came home with a combination VHS - Disc player to go with the wide screen TV

[bson1257]

In order to get a girl you have to be in peak physical condition and have a high paying job, so yeah I think its too much work.

[Trane]

In order to get a girl you have to be in peak physical condition and have a high paying job, so yeah I think its too much work.

 

Not for all women but certainly a good chunk of them. Women like cut abs, a big chest and strong arms.

 

High paying job? That helps too. A lot will accept a man with a decent job who's consistent and secure in that job.

[Fitguyinfl]

In order to get a girl you have to be in peak physical condition and have a high paying job, so yeah I think its too much work.

 

This couldn't be further from the truth.

[Mr Scorpio]

In order to get a girl you have to be in peak physical condition and have a high paying job, so yeah I think its too much work.

 

 

I have a friend who is in average shape, works as a line cook, and lives in a filthy trailer. Dude is rarely single.

 

Honestly how do women contribute? All they have to do is sit back and relax

 

 

Based on my experience? By cooking, splitting the cost of going out, surprising their partner with love notes/presents/random demonstration of affection, sex, being funny, providing company at a concert/museum, making chicken noodle soup when you're sick (even if it is from a can because she can't cook), helping w/ errands, cleaning.

 

 

You know. Stuff that a person does for another with whom they feel a bond?

[Mr Scorpio]

Ya well the guy is always the one progressing things and moving things forward

 

 

This was not the case in my experience. Your experience may have differed. Taking the attitude that "this is how things always are, and this is how things will always be" may not be conducive to overcoming regret.

[serial muse]

Ya well the guy is always the one progressing things and moving things forward

 

I'm not trying to poke at you, but by your own admission you don't really have direct knowledge of give-and-take in a relationship. Well, I do, and I can say flat-out that this isn't true.

 

Please stop saying this, FOR. Just, stop. You don't honestly know what you're talking about here, and it's really frustrating to those of us who happen to be female and who have given our hearts and souls to our relationships. I know you've got your own pain, but that doesn't give you license to shxt all over people.

[2.50 a gallon]

FOR as SM says, it is obvious you have never been in a loving relationship

 

 

"Expected to be the leader", until she says, "Mom and Dad are having a BBQ this weekend", if you want to keep that happy relationship rolling, the leader says, "What time Dear?"

[Mr Scorpio]

Well the guy is expected to be the leader in the relationship

 

 

Sure, amongst folks with particularly strong religious convictions this may be true. But that isn't everyone. Furthermore, why would the guy come up short handed in the relationship if he is the "leader"?

 

 

"Oh concubine, make sure to have my milk-steak boiled over generously, and served with a hearty-side of Jelly beans, 5:00 PM sharp!"

[2.50 a gallon]

Social Circles, are only one source. I always chose to live in large apartment complexes, and always tried to visit the pool to check out the scenery prior to renting. So in that sense yes. I met several women there that I got into sexual relationships. Including my Ex-W. However, with her, she had spotted me shortly after moving in, and when she got the chance came over and introduced herself

But at the same time the world is full of beautiful women. I met my Ex-fiancé at a sporting goods store, I also dated women who I met at grocery stores, drug stores, I dated a bank teller, the park is a good place to meet women. They are every where, all you have to do is learn to talk to them.

[serial muse]

Well the guy is expected to be the leader in the relationship

 

I'm not even sure what "the leader" means in this context. People are individuals and lead their own lives, and a couple works together to make a life together. There's a constant give and take in a relationship. That's the reality.

 

But if you insist on your metaphor, and insist that the man must be the "leader", then the leader in an organization generally isn't the one who does all the work anyway. So, think about that.

[2.50 a gallon]

My Ex-W, was 5" 10", strawberry blonde, definite fold out material, who had lots of guys chasing her, and it was she who got the ball rolling. She was curious and wanted to find out why a short skinny guy had so many girl friends. And then once she got to know me, decided that she never wanted to let me go. It was she who asked me to marry her.

And I should add, she was not the first nor the last who took the initiative

And when it comes to sex, most women like to be seduced the first time. And it has been my experience if you show them a good time, they will be back within a day or two wanting a repeat

[2.50 a gallon]

For the record, I took my lady out to dinner last night. Cost me a whole $30, and other than us driving her car, it has better AC, she did not contribute a cent.

But on the other hand, it was her day off, at 6 in the morning she was up and starting laundry, did several loads, folded and put away. She also cleaned the bath room, including squeeging the shower, and washed all of the floors, bedroom, hallway, living room and kitchen, and washed the walls.

For $30 I got all of that, plus I got to dine with a beautiful lady who thanked me and gave a good kiss good night.

Who says women don't contribute?

[serial muse]

I meant being the leader as in being the one that always or almost always is taking charge all the time

 

Well, as I said before, that's not really how things happen in an actual live relationship. That's some weird fantasy/nightmare; it's not how real live human beings operate. I'm sure there are freeloaders of both genders out there somewhere, but IRL I don't actually know anybody who's sitting back and letting his OR her partner just coast while they do all the work. I would again suggest that maybe you shouldn't make these harsh, cruel generalizations without at least a little hands-on knowledge of a relationship.

[2.50 a gallon]

FOR

 

 

Understand when you get into a serious relationship, you are sharing your life with another person. There is no leader or follower.

Look at it as two people going down the road of life, they each have one eye on the road ahead, while at the same time the other eye is looking off to the side on the look out for something new or interesting that both can try.

I always ask, "What to you want to do on your day off?" And then I listen. I do most of the cooking, so once in awhile I will say tomorrow night we are having this or that. But most times I ask her what she is in the mood for.