Author MrGuy Posted June 10, 2014 Author Share Posted June 10, 2014 This probably isn't just you... she was probably teased at school for having a flat chest and has experienced feelings of inadequacy with other BF's in the past. This has all built up and now she will never feel they are good enough for anybody. Unfortunately, us women live in a world where appearance dominates every other quality we may posses. It's really hard to deal with sometimes. You creating game characters with huge tits probably didn't help either. Just a interesting fact : 75% of all females that commit suicide have had some type of plastic surgery in their lives. Kinda shows you that if you are inherently unhappy with yourself, and blaming your lips or your boobs or whatever.... fixing it, doesn't really fix the real underlying issue. You GF needs professional help. Well yea but i stopped making them, though i asked if she could make her characters big too and she did it bothered her but eventually she got over it but recently it started to really bother her A LOT. And I'm her first Boyfriend, she never had any before me. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Well yea but i stopped making them, though i asked if she could make her characters big too and she did it bothered her but eventually she got over it but recently it started to really bother her A LOT. And I'm her first Boyfriend, she never had any before me. Sounds like she has issues....Forgive me for saying this but she sounds like an emotional weakling... This isnt about you...No one gets the "perfect" ideal....Thats just silly.. Its plain and simple... No one should ever do anything to their own body for the sake of someone else...I dont care who it is....If you like to work out, great....do it for you... If she is happy with her tits..so be it..Youll never get the ideal, in your mind anyway..,,.If she wants implants, support her..but dont push her...its stupid and immature.. Back off and let her figure it out on this issue...She needs to work this through in her head without worrying about outside influences.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Sounds like she has issues....Forgive me for saying this but she sounds like an emotional weakling... This isnt about you...No one gets the "perfect" ideal....Thats just silly.. Its plain and simple... No one should ever do anything to their own body for the sake of someone else...I dont care who it is....If you like to work out, great....do it for you... If she is happy with her tits..so be it..Youll never get the ideal, in your mind anyway..,,.If she wants implants, support her..but dont push her...its stupid and immature.. Back off and let her figure it out on this issue...She needs to work this through in her head without worrying about outside influences.. TFY ^ Agreed. She wont, she'll be even more upset if she found out I wrote about this. As of now she's thinking of not even wanting to be with me. She can be very... extreme when she gets upset. Yea... She is taking her insecurity out on you, in a destructive and manipulative way. If she feels that it's okay to threaten to end the relationship because she's upset about her small tits, then I would seriously consider finding someone more mature and mentally balanced to be in a serious relationship with. My boyfriend lovessss big butts. I'm petite. How do I know this? Because he's said it. We watch porn together, and he likes the big booty girls. This doesn't bother me in the slightest. I don't mind six packs, and my boyfriend doesn't have one. Does this make me less sexually attracted to him? Of course not. People need to get their insecurities in check. You need to advise her of this, and stop stepping on egg shells. It is her issue, and she needs to address it. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 (edited) I'm a little confused on what you said, I'm a little slow maybe. But it sounds like you think i want her to get implants which i don't. I'm just saying i like big breasts BUT i don't want them for her. Sorry if i misunderstood you. no it is me who misunderstood you, i apologize, mrguy, just let her know how you feel and be open buy her lingerie the trick is to buy it a little tighter in the cup size and flow down over her curves(yes i am a poetess not a lesbian) than what she might normally wear in public but this is for your eyes only anyway for her curves to be enhanced ask at a reputable lingerie shop what might be a good choice to emphasize her beauty take a photo.....then appreciate the emphasis, she will appreciate the effort silk is lovely against skin know her favorite color get that color in muted dreamy hues.....make her feel beautiful...best of luck...debs Edited June 10, 2014 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrGuy Posted June 10, 2014 Author Share Posted June 10, 2014 Well as of now she calmed down, though i did ask her if she wanted a boyfriend who doesn't like big boobs. She responded with a quick "yes" so yea... I really hate hearing those kinds of things. Feeling expendable almost every week blows. Just trying to be honest with her, later on she said she doesn't want to break up with me so I don't know I'm just lost at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Well as of now she calmed down, though i did ask her if she wanted a boyfriend who doesn't like big boobs. She responded with a quick "yes" so yea... I really hate hearing those kinds of things. Feeling expendable almost every week blows. Just trying to be honest with her, later on she said she doesn't want to break up with me so I don't know I'm just lost at the moment. {{{{{hug}}}} Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrGuy Posted June 10, 2014 Author Share Posted June 10, 2014 I'm not perfect, i make mistakes she can get upset all she wants. It's just i hate having to always be told she's not comfortable around me or hear that she wants to break up with me. I hear it all the time, she even wanted to break up with me b/c i used a female character in a game (had big boobs yes). That's how I eventually stopped using it, sorry for the ranting it's just I never get a chance to share my probs with anyone cause if i try to share it with her she'll be upset with me too. Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Well as of now she calmed down, though i did ask her if she wanted a boyfriend who doesn't like big boobs. She responded with a quick "yes" so yea... I really hate hearing those kinds of things. Feeling expendable almost every week blows. Just trying to be honest with her, later on she said she doesn't want to break up with me so I don't know I'm just lost at the moment. Why do you keep putting up with this? You don't need to live like that. She is disrespecting you, manipulating you and hurting you. You're scared, and constantly walking on egg shells, because you fear she may leave you. She is punishing you for liking something that she doesn't have...she's shaming you and guilting you for something natural and normal. If you stick around as things are, soon enough, you'll be a shell of a man, depressed and scared, riddled with guilt and feeling worthless. Sort this out, or get out ASAP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrGuy Posted June 10, 2014 Author Share Posted June 10, 2014 Why do you keep putting up with this? You don't need to live like that. She is disrespecting you, manipulating you and hurting you. You're scared, and constantly walking on egg shells, because you fear she may leave you. She is punishing you for liking something that she doesn't have...she's shaming you and guilting you for something natural and normal. If you stick around as things are, soon enough, you'll be a shell of a man, depressed and scared, riddled with guilt and feeling worthless. Sort this out, or get out ASAP. Easier said then done, just i care a great deal for this girl. I known her for over 8 years, and i wasn't the best guy for the first few years of the relationship but i tried to change for her and no longer do the bad things i use to do (verbally abusive, and being a jerk) so I guess in a way i felt obligated to try and make it up to her. I don't know Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Well as of now she calmed down, though i did ask her if she wanted a boyfriend who doesn't like big boobs. She responded with a quick "yes" so yea... I really hate hearing those kinds of things. Feeling expendable almost every week blows. Just trying to be honest with her, later on she said she doesn't want to break up with me so I don't know I'm just lost at the moment. i think you have chosen her regardless of what your physical ideal might be to em that shows you see your womans heart.....i hope she comes to realize that soon i am sorry she doesnt see it yet dont give up......in poin ti must add never tell a woman you are going out with necessarily who is concerned about her boob size that you prefer women who are the opposite of her, unless she has the gift of knowing your hears intentions are not to be thoughtless by design and being hindered by lack f empathy and prone to not thinking first befor telling her she is not your ideal attraction many guys are brutally honest with me i have dated and say you are not my type i dont know why i like you so much these are the guys who dish me many compliments and i am used to cmpliments....i just smile....because i am a multiple on the inside but part of me hurts that i am not attractive at first glance..or second but become my freind and then you see me what is beautiful about me..i date friends first... because i know i am not pretty or tall or thin, i have kermit like eyes , never will be never have been considered a beauty even when i was a size ten i didnt consider myself attractive guys liked how my boobs were the first thing they saw coming around a corner.... ...i have a huge spirit and my boobs have been to provide milk for children i have had multiple pregnancies some of them not to term so i saved milk and turned it into kindness.... they will never be small as i would like them to be...i carry them though as mine....anyway..see you gf heart and treasure her she will come round....hopefully.......deb Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Easier said then done, just i care a great deal for this girl. I known her for over 8 years, and i wasn't the best guy for the first few years of the relationship but i tried to change for her and no longer do the bad things i use to do (verbally abusive, and being a jerk) so I guess in a way i felt obligated to try and make it up to her. I don't know I'm not saying it's easy, but if you keep going as you are, you're gonna have a bad time. Have a long, hard think about what's going on here, because it seems pretty toxic and damaging from where I'm sitting, and continuing as you are will cause you a lot of trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrGuy Posted June 10, 2014 Author Share Posted June 10, 2014 Believe me I hope one day she realizes the things she says to me suck but I don't know. Yea I like them but I don't care that much about them, I don't go staring at other women's breasts. I very much love her the way she more then big boobs, in my mind's eye she's the perfect image of a beautiful girl. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 How old is this girl? Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Many of my female friends have 'been' where your gf is now regarding their boob size. Me and my friends are all very athletic and so are not large. I can understand your gf not wanting to feel different and wanting to feel feminine. Most of them outgrew that insecurity and now love their smaller size. A couple of them got implants, didn't like them, and had them removed. Thing is, with an A cup or less, no implant will look or feel natural. There just isn't enough natural tissue to cover. They will place them under the muscle, and her boobs will move up in a weird way when she flexes her pec muscle. If she has them, there will be a scar on her breast and possibly capsular contraction too... Which is painful. One of my friends who had hers removed said that considering how much they cost to put in and take out... She basically 'rented' her boobs for about $500 a year. She had them for almost 15 years. Do the math! There is a website called Real Self she should check out. There are many pics of women with capsular contraction... And lots of women having them removed. Encourage her to google some famous athletes and dancers. Maybe she should take up ballet or dancing? Women with small or no breasts are prized and actually preferred in those occupations. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 My question is, is it ok to still like big boobs? Sure you can like big boobs and you can love your girlfriend/wife. Dealt with this many years ago, though I wasn't fixated on big boobs, but the lady I loved was the first woman I had ever seen naked who was really flat-chested. No sag from nursing two daughters because there was simply very little breast tissue. She did however possess some awesome nipples It was totally a non-issue and, at her age and being a doctor, we could talk about any such things without issue. Her biggest insecurities weren't her breasts but rather her lips (wow, Angelina had nothing on her) and that she was too old to have children. All of that mattered exactly zero to me. Why? L o v e & R e s p e c t From a quick scan, it sounds like you're OK on content but delivery, meaning how to talk about intimate subjects with your lady, sometimes presents issues. If a person's partner has low self-esteem, this can be a minefield. Old fart tip: When in doubt, don't shout it out. Keep your counsel. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Many of my female friends have 'been' where your gf is now regarding their boob size. Me and my friends are all very athletic and so are not large. I can understand your gf not wanting to feel different and wanting to feel feminine. Most of them outgrew that insecurity and now love their smaller size. A couple of them got implants, didn't like them, and had them removed. Thing is, with an A cup or less, no implant will look or feel natural. There just isn't enough natural tissue to cover. They will place them under the muscle, and her boobs will move up in a weird way when she flexes her pec muscle. If she has them, there will be a scar on her breast and possibly capsular contraction too... Which is painful. One of my friends who had hers removed said that considering how much they cost to put in and take out... She basically 'rented' her boobs for about $500 a year. She had them for almost 15 years. Do the math! There is a website called Real Self she should check out. There are many pics of women with capsular contraction... And lots of women having them removed. Encourage her to google some famous athletes and dancers. Maybe she should take up ballet or dancing? Women with small or no breasts are prized and actually preferred in those occupations. So I guess Serena Williams(what is she. like a 40D?) isn't an athlete??..... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I haven't directly told her that i like big boobs, but i'm very sure she knows that i do like them. I often say I don't really care about big boobs which is some what of a lie since i do like them but at the same time i really don't care that much... Basically, you've left her in a state where she can't trust what you tell her because you've flopped both ways, so she sticks with what fits her perceptions: She thinks she is too small, she (correctly) believes that you "like" big breasted women, and therefore she (questionably) thinks that you would prefer her to have larger breasts. And so then when you claim that you like her just as she is, this is not credible to her. Just a interesting fact : 75% of all females that commit suicide have had some type of plastic surgery in their lives. Source, please? Another interesting fact: 72.4% of unsourced statistics are made up on the spot. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 (edited) So I guess Serena Williams(what is she. like a 40D?) isn't an athlete??..... TFY I'm sure you can find the random female athlete with larger breasts. It is rare though. For lots of reasons. I posted a pic of a black ballerina with larger breasts awhile back. She's had to overcome a lot to get where she is... being black and also with an unconventional body type. In fact, in her field, she had to overcome feeling bad about having breasts. Guess what I'm saying is that for people who are more concerned with what a body can do vs what it looks like, there is something for everyone... and something for every woman to be proud of... It just sounds like the OP's girlfriend hasn't found her niche yet and has been overwhelmed with images of other body types, unfortunately. I'm also wondering if her insecurity about her breasts is just a manifestation of insecurity about something else in their relationship... Also, if he pretty much ignores that part of her body in their lovemaking because it isn't his 'ideal', that's enough to make some women feel insecure... especially younger or inexperienced ones like she is. As one gets older, you realize that's just a symptom of a guy who is a sh*tty or inexperienced lover... nothing to do with her body. lol. Edited June 11, 2014 by RedRobin 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrGuy Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 How old is this girl? 21, also to answer the others' question. Yes it is a minefield, in fact if i even try to mention it she will get upset followed by freaking out and being very unreasonable and possibly bring up the subject of dumping me. In short, I can't have conversations with her or talk things over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrGuy Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 She's 21 and to answer most of everyone's question. Yes it is like a minefield, I guess you can describe my relationship with her as "tread lightly". I have to be very careful on what to say and watch my tone. If i try to bring this subject up again, even if i'm trying to reassure her that I love her for her she'll only get upset and possibly freak out afterwards. The subject of her breaking up with me might be brought up again which will end in me trying to calm her down and resolving absolutely nothing in the process so yea... Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 So I guess Serena Williams(what is she. like a 40D?) isn't an athlete??..... TFY barbed wire does wonders ...;0)..you can be an athlete of any size booby 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 She's 21 and to answer most of everyone's question. Yes it is like a minefield, I guess you can describe my relationship with her as "tread lightly". I have to be very careful on what to say and watch my tone. If i try to bring this subject up again, even if i'm trying to reassure her that I love her for her she'll only get upset and possibly freak out afterwards. The subject of her breaking up with me might be brought up again which will end in me trying to calm her down and resolving absolutely nothing in the process so yea... hmmm. she is young. (and stupid) Many young girls are insecure. Nothing you can do about it though if it's as extreme as you say. Any person who resorts to "i'll break up with you" rather than dealing with an issue doesn't deserve to be in a relationship. If you spend all your time treading on eggshells in your relationship, then end it. She will not get better while you are enabling her behaviour. it's actually ok that you like big breasts, and it's ok that you love her small ones because they are hers and you don't want her to change. If you telling her honestly that you love her and her boobs and she doesn't believe you, then there is very little you can do about it. I would suggest to her to seek therapy about her appearance insecurities because it will lead to massive amounts of self loathing, jealously, feelings of inadequacy and there is nothing you can say to make her not believe it. It will ruin her over time. Im 35.. and Even though i'm not perfect, i love my body. I hated it when i was 25. If i had my 25 year old body now... it would be Christmas! I wish I hadn't spent so long hating on myself because i was friggin beautiful and I couldn't see it. So now... I'm beautiful. Every day... because when I'm 50, I'll be so mad at myself if I wasted my gorgeous 35yr old body hiding it away because i had a bit of a tummy over winter. You get? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrGuy Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 (edited) To be fair I wasn't the greatest boyfriend to her either, i mean yea i don't abuse (verbal) or things like that. But i can be clingy at times... I question her a good amount and i can be paranoid. I'm not perfect but i'm trying to do the best i can. It's just I'm afraid there's no way i can make her happy anymore. As for her eventually getting over her problem, i'm sure she will at some point. Just wish it would be with me. Sucks to lose the girl you love and have the other guy be with her and he doesn't have to deal with the problems I did . Not sure if you know what i mean. Edited June 11, 2014 by MrGuy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 To be fair I wasn't the greatest boyfriend to her either, i mean yea i don't abuse (verbal) or things like that. But i can be clingy at times... I question her a good amount and i can be paranoid. I'm not perfect but i'm trying to do the best i can. It's just I'm afraid there's no way i can make her happy anymore. it isn't all your responsibility to make her happy if she cant find it in herself with positivity, there is not really much you can do but try and feed her affirmation, you shouldn't have to affirm all the time but it may be her language of lurv....... dont give up, no one is perfect and it is a wonderful trait you try to see you aren't either and area little defensive of her i feel, maybe therapy or couples counselling might be beneficial for you both....best wishes...deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrGuy Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 thanks for the advice, just one question. What is "lurv"? Link to post Share on other sites
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