My Skinnyness

[Targetlock]

Hi All time to get something off my chest that has been bothering me a bit.

 

I have always been a skinny slightly awkward kind of guy and it has never bothered me that much, but recently it does namely the skinny part i have always been really thin this shows especially with my height (I'm 5 foot 10 1/2 inches and about 9 and half stone just so you know) and I always get constantly pestered and mothering about putting on weight and eating more and I have tried this but never seems to work it has unfortunately led to the point where I don't feel that great about my appearance (never wear shorts for example because I don't like my bony legs) its kind of almost like the reverse of what larger people I feel I guess. it would be nice to do something about it, but don't know what

Also women never seem to go for the tall skinny nerds anyway. thanks for any advice or comments.

[M30USA]

Hi All time to get something off my chest that has been bothering me a bit.

 

I have always been a skinny slightly awkward kind of guy and it has never bothered me that much, but recently it does namely the skinny part i have always been really thin this shows especially with my height (I'm 5 foot 10 1/2 inches and about 9 and half stone just so you know) and I always get constantly pestered and mothering about putting on weight and eating more and I have tried this but never seems to work it has unfortunately led to the point where I don't feel that great about my appearance (never wear shorts for example because I don't like my bony legs) its kind of almost like the reverse of what larger people I feel I guess. it would be nice to do something about it, but don't know what

Also women never seem to go for the tall skinny nerds anyway. thanks for any advice or comments.

 

I'm in the same boat. I'm 6'1'' and only weight 175. It's not just my weight, my shoulders are pretty narrow and my face is narrow. You are right when you say that most women don't like our build. The tall part they like but they usually want it accompanied by wide shoulders and bulk.

 

I guess my advice to you is that, while most women will not be attracted to you, the ones who are will think you are special and their type. Bottom line is you'll never get lots of interest from women. Just focus on your niche and there will be some women who like how you look.

[Art_Critic]

When I graduated from high school some 33 years ago I weighed 114lbs and am 5'9"...

 

I'm 156 lbs today all naturally... 42 lbs all by aging...

 

I never noticed that women didn't like skinny guys.. we are rumored to be hung

 

I wouldn't worry about gaining weight, nature will take care of that as you age.

Better to never have to take it off...

[lollipopspot]

Also women never seem to go for the tall skinny nerds anyway.

 

Tall and skinny is a rock star look.

 

Maybe change up your wardrobe and do some exercise to improve your posture.

 

You have a great body type. You know a lot of guys want to be tall, and you'll recognize skinny as a gift when you age and your metabolism slows down

[endlessabyss]

I'm pretty skinny as well.

 

We're all going to make it.

[Imported]

Man, I could really go for some spaghetii and meatballs! With parmesan cheese caked over it!

 

See what I did there? That is how you be not skinny.

 

 

I'm not joking either, I'm gonna go get some spaghetti.

[Under The Radar]

I'm guessing you are a bit younger than me ...... I'm 40 ...... and was born with the type of build (ectomorph) you are describing.

 

 

Right now, I'm 6'1 and weigh 175 pounds. With my metabolism, eating large quantities of food is not enough. My individual genetics require lifting weights ...... a caloric surplus alone will not add any appreciable bodyweight for me.

 

 

So ...... one suggestion I'd definitely throw out there is to begin educating yourself on progressive strength training methodologies and techniques.

 

 

Yes, it is a lot of work .

 

 

No, it is not always fun.

 

 

...... but, in my opinion, it would be very beneficial for you over the long haul with self-esteem and improved appearance.

 

 

I would take the delayed gratification approach and think in terms of years ...... not weeks and months ...... to really add some size to your frame.

 

 

Legs were always the most difficult area of my body to bring up ...... certainly harder than chest, shoulders, and arms.

 

 

Become friends with the squat for your legs and the hip thrust for your butt. Those exercises will go a long way towards looking great in jeans and shorts.

 

 

If I had to recommend a book for you to get started it would be:

 

 

Stuart McRobert's "Tell All Handbook On Weight Training Technique".

 

 

For programming and philosophy I'd recommend his book "Beyond Brawn".

 

 

He tends to tailor his writing to the "Hardgainer" ...... the guys who have trouble putting on muscle and bodyweight.

 

 

Another thing I'll say is that having a fast metabolism is a blessing in disguise as we age. I always wanted to be bigger when I was younger, but seeing how fast people put on weight (not the good kind) as the years have scrolled by is astonishing.

 

 

Now, I actually really appreciative having been on the leaner side for much of my life. It's definitely easier for me to put on bad weight and raise the scale, at 40, if I'm not careful during this stage of my life. It's much easier for many of my peers to gain weight (Read: Fat) because they were not born with as fast a metabolism.

 

 

Above all else, as others have said, embrace who you are. Attraction varies from person to person and there will be women who find you attractive. It can take time, but patience is a virtue ...... right?

 

 

Some of us are late bloomers and in other ways we hit the ground running. We tend to rate ourselves much worse than reality projects to others. Keep your chin up and don't fret about the "skinniness".

 

 

There are a lot more important traits than how much we weigh ......

 

 

...... and our happiness will ultimately be determined by a COMBINATION of our physical AND mental attributes.

Edited June 9, 2014 by Training Revelations

[Targetlock]

Thanks for the comments. i suppose my buil has never bothered me too much its just that i'm tired of getting bothered and pestered about it i eat very well i just guess i have a high metabolism or something.

 

Imported: i love spaghetti especially with cheese.

 

Art_Critic: good point, guess i never have to worry about dieting.

 

Under.the.Radar: thanks for the advice though i'm already quite strong and lean, i just don't have much muscle work to show it, i always surprise people with my strength.

[Els]

I can never get the stone measurements. So... ran it through a converter, that's 60 kg at 5'10"?

 

No biggie, my ex in my first year of college was almost your exact measurements (he was probably a bit taller and lighter, in fact...). I was fine with it, really. As long as you're getting enough nutrition and energy that's all good.

[Emilia]

Under.the.Radar: thanks for the advice though i'm already quite strong and lean, i just don't have much muscle work to show it, i always surprise people with my strength.

If you take anyone's advice, it should be his....

[regine_phalange]

Don't worry, it is only your body type. Others put fat more easily, others put muscle more easily, others don't put neither. Since you are healthy and strong, enjoy yourself and appreciate your body for functioning well.

[Targetlock]

I can never get the stone measurements. So... ran it through a converter, that's 60 kg at 5'10"?

 

No biggie, my ex in my first year of college was almost your exact measurements (he was probably a bit taller and lighter, in fact...). I was fine with it, really. As long as you're getting enough nutrition and energy that's all good.

 

Yeah I'm about 61.2kg and 5'10 and a half inches tall (i'm 5'11" with shoes on).

[Candy_Pants]

Meh, I love tall skinny guys. My H is naturally this way but due to the very physical nature of his work (and my cooking) he's got muscular arms, back, and glutes. Very fckn' sexy.

[learning_slowly]

I was 11,1/2 stone at 18 and 6'2, so I was really skinny. But I too took up weight training later in life. However the secret is to eat protein while you train.

 

Now everyone says how good I look, but it is addictive and you will want to be as big as the guys on steroids. However, I don't want the associated side effects and I think I'm cheating myself by doing that.

 

Another good book for initially starting out would be "starting strength" by Mark rippletoe. it has all the science and the form, where most beginners go wrong.

 

Good luck.

 

I wish I'd had this info at 18.

[Do_The_Herp]

Can people ever look heavier than they really are?

 

I'm around Targetlock's weight and height, but people often think that I'm 20 lbs heavier than I am.

[Targetlock]

Yeah i used to be okay with my build but I'm getting tired of people pestering me about my weight, always saying I should eat more always etc (i do eat a lot, it really hard for me to gain weight and when i get stressed i don't eat as well so that doesn't help) and its now got to the point where my weight does bother and its ruining my confidence my confidence about my appearance was never that great anyway.

But yeah i am considering working out a bit (not full on gym work out, just stuff at home) to try and maybe tone up a bit.

[M30USA]

Yeah i used to be okay with my build but I'm getting tired of people pestering me about my weight, always saying I should eat more always etc (i do eat a lot, it really hard for me to gain weight and when i get stressed i don't eat as well so that doesn't help) and its now got to the point where my weight does bother and its ruining my confidence my confidence about my appearance was never that great anyway.

But yeah i am considering working out a bit (not full on gym work out, just stuff at home) to try and maybe tone up a bit.

 

Don't worry about it. My former boss once told me I needed to eat more pasta. People don't think about what they say. They just blurt crap out and half the time they don't know what they're saying. As the Bible says, "Do not listen to every word that people say, otherwise you might hear your own servant cursing you..." (Proverbs)

[Targetlock]

yeah still bothers me though and now made me think not so great about my appearance i used to be okay with it but now the nagging and pestering has made me thinking that my skinnyness isn't okay just sucks thats all

[Million.to.1]

My BF is 6 foot and weighs 69kgs. He is skinny, has narrow shoulders and a small chest. slender arms. He is 35.

 

I like it. He looks so much better now than guys who were more bulky in their 20's but don't work super hard at maintaining their bodies and who now look bulbous and chunky and have double chins. eww.

 

You are an ectomorph and there are foods and workouts suited to your body type if you wish to read into it.

 

I think people who say "eat something" to skinny people is just as rude as saying "go on a diet" to a fat person.

When someone says something like that to you.. you should just smile at them and say "I eat plenty thanks. I'm naturally skinny and always have been. You wouldn't make a comment to fat person about their diet would you? What makes it ok to say it to someone slender?" - pull them up on it. It's rude and they should know better.

 

If you eat well and keep reasonably fit, in 10-20 years.. you are going to look a million times better than the average guy your age. Remember that.

You are pretty lucky... so you just need to find a way to deal with dumb peoples comments.

Edited June 10, 2014 by Million.to.1

[Targetlock]

I think people who say "eat something" to skinny people is just as rude as saying "go on a diet" to a fat person.

When someone says something like that to you.. you should just smile at them and say "I eat plenty thanks. I'm naturally skinny and always have been. You wouldn't make a comment to fat person about their diet would you? What makes it ok to say it to someone slender?" - pull them up on it. It's rude and they should know better.

 

Exactly, this was what i was thinking the whole time of this thread! i think it comes across as hurtful most of the time no matter how good the intentions.

[Million.to.1]

Yes. So, on behalf of all the skinny people everywhere... Say something.

 

Being weightist... ie; judgmental of people because of their weight, fat or skinny, is the same as being racist, sexist, or homophobic.

 

Take a stand. You are not anorexic. You just have a high metabolism. When people say things, make them aware that it is rude, hurtful and they are making a judgment based on something they know nothing about.

 

do it nicely and they will have no choice but to question why they think it's ok.

[Tayla]

Sounds like the OP is healthy in most aspects. biggest blessing is good health- low blood perssure, working organs. The Body can be an amazing task to modify. Drinking shakes or slowing the metabolism can be achieved. Talk to a nutritionist.

[ascendotum]

Don't worry about it. My former boss once told me I needed to eat more pasta. People don't think about what they say. They just blurt crap out and half the time they don't know what they're saying. As the Bible says, "Do not listen to every word that people say, otherwise you might hear your own servant cursing you..." (Proverbs)

 

Yep pasta, pizzas, beer & hot chips was what I got told to eat all the time.

For my endomorphic friends though, that food worked a treat for weight gain.

I'm like undertheradar, and just shoveling in extra snacks & meals didn't do much as far as weight gain went, but kept me tired more from digesting food all the time. Also got to say 'just eat more pasta' is not always greatest advice, especially if the skinny person has a gluten intolerance or is an undiagnosed celiac. I worked with one guy who was tall & skinny and when his sister got diagnosed as celiac, he got got checked and found out he was one too. Changed his diet and boom, put on like 15kg in 8 mths. So OP keep in mind you just might have food intolerances that are not helping though really you would likely have digestive/IBS symptoms. Make sure you get deep quality night sleep too. Investigate extra herbs/minerals you can take that help you cope if you have high stress or anxiousness. That definitely will effect your appetite as you said.

 

The weight gain I got was from going to the gym. I've hit 40 and my metabolism has not changed at all in terms of increasing propensity to put on weight. BF is still real low. Runs in the family...for the males, but not the females. My former skinny sisters now diet. Some guys here say being skinny was no big deal or the right girl will like you, but I'd rather the girl I wanted. If you pack on 2-3st you'll notice the difference with women for sure. You're skinny and unhappy....going to the gym is a no brainer. You got a couple of links to read here + there is plenty free on the www. As another guy said, for a skinny guy its a long term work in progress, alas. Once you see some gains though and feel good from the work outs hopefully you'll see it as a sport/pastime and not a chore.

[Els]

Yep pasta, pizzas, beer & hot chips was what I got told to eat all the time.

For my endomorphic friends though, that food worked a treat for weight gain.

I'm like undertheradar, and just shoveling in extra snacks & meals didn't do much as far as weight gain went, but kept me tired more from digesting food all the time. Also got to say 'just eat more pasta' is not always greatest advice, especially if the skinny person has a gluten intolerance or is an undiagnosed celiac. I worked with one guy who was tall & skinny and when his sister got diagnosed as celiac, he got got checked and found out he was one too. Changed his diet and boom, put on like 15kg in 8 mths. So OP keep in mind you just might have food intolerances that are not helping though really you would likely have digestive/IBS symptoms. Make sure you get deep quality night sleep too. Investigate extra herbs/minerals you can take that help you cope if you have high stress or anxiousness. That definitely will effect your appetite as you said.

 

The weight gain I got was from going to the gym. I've hit 40 and my metabolism has not changed at all in terms of increasing propensity to put on weight. BF is still real low. Runs in the family...for the males, but not the females. My former skinny sisters now diet. Some guys here say being skinny was no big deal or the right girl will like you, but I'd rather the girl I wanted. If you pack on 2-3st you'll notice the difference with women for sure. You're skinny and unhappy....going to the gym is a no brainer. You got a couple of links to read here + there is plenty free on the www. As another guy said, for a skinny guy its a long term work in progress, alas. Once you see some gains though and feel good from the work outs hopefully you'll see it as a sport/pastime and not a chore.

 

Blegh. So, which one of you wants to trade their metabolism with mine??? 1300-1500 cal/day is NOT fun. Especially when you're a foodie.

[Targetlock]

Yes. So, on behalf of all the skinny people everywhere... Say something.

 

Being weightist... ie; judgmental of people because of their weight, fat or skinny, is the same as being racist, sexist, or homophobic.

 

Take a stand. You are not anorexic. You just have a high metabolism. When people say things, make them aware that it is rude, hurtful and they are making a judgment based on something they know nothing about.

 

do it nicely and they will have no choice but to question why they think it's ok.

 

Thanks i think it is time i did, tired of people making me feel bad about something i have little control over! but i am going to try and work out some more and tone up a bit, try and feel good about myself for once.