yucky_life Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I'm leaving an abuser soon, but this fear that he'll break in and do something to me is going to be strong. Even if I go to another state. He has done it before, when I had my own apartment. This was even before we had a daughter together (yes, I am a complete idiot). Now I'm scared he'll do something to me for leaving and taking her. He probably won't- when he did before, it was because he knew I wouldn't tell anyone. How do you try not to live in fear? The other fear is that he'll get a lawyer and lie about me, and make me fight for our daughter (we aren't married).
The Like Fairy Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Yes, I lived this and still do to a lesser extent now. And I know many others who experience this situation. Put your thinking cap on and think safety, safety, safety. I have guns, alarms, burglar bars, kick bars on the inside and security doors outside my actual door. But also be aware going in and out of cars and the workplace and daycare. Get a restraining order. Stay with relatives if that will help with safety. Consult an attorney and law enforcement. Install cameras everywhere as well. Plan your movements and call a trusted friend/relative when coming and going. Check the cameras to see if he's been in your apartment or house while you are away. Getting a boyfriend for protection isn't a bad idea, so long as he's not bad news like the last one. Best of luck to you. Eventually with no contact, he'll move on to a new victim. It takes time and absolutely no renewal of the relationship. 2
todreaminblue Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 (edited) i have some experience with fear...i anonymously dob in drug dealers or someiotmes it is not anonymous...depends on dealer and if they get high on theri own supply...if they do they dont see me coming.......... once i know where they live i subtefuge....doesnt matter where i move and i have moved alot...... .if they wanted to find me they would......so i choose to continue to do what i know is right live my life and i have supportive people who although are on drugs themselves.......who don't question a raid on my house where my room is not touched and i am left to sleep....drug dealer might though if he found out especially a hard core seller...how suddenly drugs dry up and become impossible to get hold of....around me..and my room is avoided...its stealth, trust support and guts that keeps me going...if soemoen wants me...it isnt tht hard to get in...if you get through three large dogs including a rottie and kamikaze cats..i suggest a dog over a gun, they are massive deterrants..they would die for you..........i also know sefl dfense and can use an slr i dont own a gun or rifle..... Edited June 11, 2014 by todreaminblue
Tayla Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Contact a Womens Shelter. They have counselors that can guide you properly in how to move and be safe in doing so. Its absolutely possible to live a safe life thru the Shelter guidelines. the key is co-operate with the advise they give you and know that in the long run its for the safety of you and your child. For whatever illogical reason, most persons go back to that which is the familiar...the abuser. Its what they self condemn themselves to. Try to overcome that, and understand your child deserves better. 1
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