Why?

[digger]

This is about the end for me guys/gals. Ive asked enuf of you--and asked far to much of 'her'. But I have a question to something that has moderately bothered me.

Ive played NC for 3 months. My best string ever.

Last week she called me--broke the silence after 3 months. The money she won iN the divorce is still all in joint names. Hers, Ive taken care of mine. She called my broker to have the paper work sent---but called me and said " I have some papers i need you to sign and send back". I just said SURE and left it at that.

They were coming to me anyway. Why did she have to call and tell me? They would have just come and I'd have signed them. Or she coulda put a note in and said SIGN THESE. Why her contact for this? (My mother said maybe she wanted me to ask her out for Valentines Day). You never know--i doubt it but shes done stranger things. So why do (if youre her) make the ffort to pick up the phone and do what she did?

[Barby]

Maybe she just wanted to make sure you got them signed and sent back as soon as possible? I am unaware of your story but from what you've posted here, I wouldn't make too much out of it!

[digger]

coulda done that by writing another of her scathing letters---no reason she had to be the one to "break" first (so to speak)

[MassiveAtom]

It's called inconsiderate behavior Digger.

 

She has no consideration for you. In fact she's living her life despite how it makes you feel. I know, COLD AS HELL!!

 

Those exact words were said to me. They stung. But you have a choice now.

 

You have not yet begun to ask digger. We need you to stay a part of this community. It's strength is in its members, It's members are why it's here. And You are a member. Hang out with us a little longer buddy, WE won't desert you.

 

This is an ending for you I'm sure, but it doesn't have to be a tragic ending. YOU can make it a happy ending, and begin anew, if you'll hang out with us a little longer.

 

Everybody says it, but I don't think it's entirely true. With time, all wounds heal. Yeah, but if you don't help them heal right, they leave a horrific scar.

 

Digger, stay. Please.

 

 

Your brother in arms

 

 

MassiveAtom

[Pocky]

Show up at her house when she's open. Ask her face to face if it really is over. Ask her if you should let her go and move forward. This guessing game you want to play is going to drive you in sane. You're emotions are all over the place and I can see how tiresome this is becoming for you.

 

Tell her you're dropping the signed papers off. Then look her in the eyes and ask her if it's over. If she tells you yes, then it's time you stopped analyzing her actions and moved forward.

 

This entire situation appears to be one big game to me.

[Yikes]

Digger,

 

Are you sure that you are not making more of this?

 

Maybe the call was nothing more than a way of being sure that you understood the importance of getting the stuff signed and sent back. If I have an important dealing with my ex, I might send her an e-mail, but often I will give a heads-up call as well, just to be sure that it doesn't get overlooked. (She tends to do that)

 

Personally, I wouldn't read ANYTHING into this. Sign what you need to sign, send it back and forget it.

 

If you can try to simplify things, they are an awful lot easier to handle. Put this woman in you rearview mirror dude!

 

Hang in there.

[Devildog]

digger, NC seems to have a funny effect on them. When they realize they have lost some of their hold over you, it freaks them out abit. I stopped answering the phone when my wife called. I would check the voice mail afterwards and if it didn't pertain to our daughter, I didn't even call back. Suddenly she got alot more polite, a lot more civilized.

 

I don't think her calling you means much of anything. She might just be making an effort to be civilized. But I don't think you are ready for that yet. Keep the NC going. Sign the papers and send the back through the mail.

[Devildog]

digger, NC seems to have a funny effect on them. When they realize they have lost some of their hold over you, it freaks them out abit. I stopped answering the phone when my wife called. I would check the voice mail afterwards and if it didn't pertain to our daughter, I didn't even call back. Suddenly she got alot more polite, a lot more civilized.

 

I don't think her calling you means much of anything. She might just be making an effort to be civilized. But I don't think you are ready for that yet. Keep the NC going. Sign the papers and send the back through the mail.

 

But do stick around. The work is just starting regarding the healing process. Counselling, and talking to others who know what you have gone through can help so much.