Roommate's last minute guest?

[Poptree]

Okay so I'm wondering what some peoples opinions are on my current situation with my roommate.

 

My roommate left out of town yesterday and before leaving she texted me while I was at work telling me that her exboyfriend/friend was going to be staying in our apartment while she was gone because his new place fell through and his lease is up.

 

Background info that may be of help:

1.Rent is not split evenly because she has the master bedroom and her own private bathroom

2. I moved in three months ago and she had been living here for three months prior to me moving in

3. I do not really know the friend like that. We did not talk much when they were dating and I thought he was a bit rude.

4. She is out of town for 11 days for a funeral

 

I brought it up with her that it made me uncomfortable(via text since i was at work) and she got pretty defensive and said it's not in her nature not to help people when they're in need and that if he can't find a place to crash in a few days then he will be at the apartment.

 

So I'm not sure if I'm just being sensitive but I feel like she could have talked to me before she told him he could stay. What do you guys think?

[almond]

You're well within your rights to feel this way, and I feel that she is being incredibly inconsiderate and rude.

 

If you don't feel comfortable living alone with a guy you hardly know, then you don't. You pay rent, and it is your home too and she should respect that. She needs your permission to do this, and she most definitely should have discussed it with you first.

 

You can either suck it up and let him stay, or, refuse. If you need to stay on at this place, then you may want to avoid conflict with your housemate. However, I would personally opt to refuse straight out, and then have a discussion with her when she returned home about respect for those you live with.

 

This would annoy me enough to move out.

[Poptree]

Thank you for replying! Yes, I've been looking at different places to live because I feel like she still feels this is only her place and we should live by only what she is comfortable with. She told me that he found somewhere to live until Friday but if he cannot find somewhere else by then, then he will be in our apartment for the remaining five days. I actually think he was here today while I was napping because there are dishes in the sink that I, myself have not used.

 

Anyway because she is the only one on the lease, I do not want to cause too much of a problem with her but I told her we should talk when she gets back home.

 

You're well within your rights to feel this way, and I feel that she is being incredibly inconsiderate and rude.

 

If you don't feel comfortable living alone with a guy you hardly know, then you don't. You pay rent, and it is your home too and she should respect that. She needs your permission to do this, and she most definitely should have discussed it with you first.

 

You can either suck it up and let him stay, or, refuse. If you need to stay on at this place, then you may want to avoid conflict with your housemate. However, I would personally opt to refuse straight out, and then have a discussion with her when she returned home about respect for those you live with.

 

This would annoy me enough to move out.

[almond]

If you've made the decision to move out as soon as you can, then I wouldn't even bother talking to her.

 

She'll get the message when you pack your stuff and leave. Give her a little notice, and tell her she's lucky that you gave her more consideration than she gave you.

[whichwayisup]

I actually think he was here today while I was napping because there are dishes in the sink that I, myself have not used.

 

So he left dishes in the sink? What did he expect the magic dish fairy to come do his dishes? Seriously, that's rude. If he ends up staying there then he has to clean up after himself.

[Poptree]

She always cleaned up for him haha I won't be doing any cleaning up

[whichwayisup]

She always cleaned up for him haha I won't be doing any cleaning up

 

Just let him know that he needs to wash his dishes after. How old is he?

 

Hope you find another place, sounds like your roommate calls the shots all the time and you get shafted.

[preraph]

I wouldn't tell him to wash the dishes but would leave his big mess for when she returns for her to clean up as payback for dumping him on you. Anytime you move in with anyone, you need to put in writing about guests, etc.

[Poptree]

I actually have not seen him in the apartment, only the dishes. Yeah I'm going to leave them because he should know to clean the dishes and if he doesn't then she can clean them when she gets back home.

 

We have in writing somewhere about guest that we got notarized but I don't know where she put the paper. I guess it would have been smart if I had my own copy. I did not foresee this actually happening because she seemed chill enough so I'm not sure if it brings up guests being the apartment when their host is not.

 

I'm also not sure if this added information is needed but last month I told a friend she could stay the night at our apartment and I let my roommate know a few days in advance but I ended up in the hospital the day the friend was supposed to stay. So she ended up staying in my room for that night while I was not home. An awkward situation that I did not mean to put my roommate in but if she would have spoken up, I would have asked the friend if there was anywhere else for her stay. I only bring this up because my roommate brought it up when I told her the guy staying here would make me uncomfortable.

[CC12]

she got pretty defensive and said it's not in her nature not to help people when they're in need

 

Tell her that's great to hear since you're also "in need" and then ask her to help you find another place to stay because there's some weird dude sleeping in your apartment for the next 11 days.