How do you overcome worthlessness feeling?

[Swan89]

Say you got dumped because things between you and your partner weren't right. Say that person made you feel small and said things that made you feel like you're not worth the time of day and that you're a loser.

When that person once adored you but due to the fact that you argued a lot, they lost feelings and never saw you in the way they did again.

 

How do you go about recovering from such a nasty blow to your self esteem? How can you feel loveable again and that you aren't all those things they said you are?

[todreaminblue]

if part of you knows what they did was wrong,not justified in doing wrong to you, has faith that you are here for a reason and its not to be some someones perception of you, you will always be lifted from feelings of worthlessness, look in the eyes of those who love you would you? and then you will see

 

 

fearfully and wonderfully made

is truth.There's a higher purpose to your life than another's skewed perception deception of who you should be or what you look like on the surface waters, be still underneath those waters be calm and heal.peace be still

 

that likened in kind to, eventually they see that once they have left you they realize just how special you are, b then its too late because

once set free a bird in flight is pure delight...deborah

 

 

the heavens above are rent to the broken hearts of birds in flight, to thee the heavens are open, there are simply no limits or failed capacity for the spirit that is contrite and seeking answers, to heal and to know without the ice fo doubt to sway them, with a caring comforter and a loving hand that reaches down from above to help you find your wings........blessed are you believe it......and like david87 said in another thread

fly

because you always were able to , you just forgot how.....

 

and from me i say it nearly killed me to go on in quite a few cases i have been hospitalized quite a few times i always make it, because god makes sure i do make it, my purpose isnt to be worthless, i am to be worthy and always was wrothy because jesus took care of that for me, of the dream and for the dream...we all can dream of worthiness ...its free and a gift

Edited June 10, 2014 by todreaminblue

[Swan89]

Thanks!

 

But in this matter, if you deserved to be dumped because you took that person for granted and realised too late that you shouldn't have been so insensitive. That person no longer sees any good in you.

[learning_slowly]

You have to remember you can't always have been bad otherwise you would not have got together.

 

Maybe you changed or she is saying things out of spite. Also sometimes things are said as an excuse, she could have met somebody else and is trying to lay the blame on you.

 

Whatever the reason, accept the things that are true and do something to change them, so you become a person you have respect for.

 

You may have lost this girl, but you can be a better person for your next partner.

[KathyM]

Apparently, there's some truth to what she said: that you took her for granted and were insensitive and argumentative. Take that as a lesson learned, and when you start to feel worthless, practice telling yourself "I am going to be a better partner in my next relationship, and I'm going to put in the effort to communicate better and give her the attention she needs." By practicing focusing your thoughts on how you will do better in the next relationship, you are not just ruminating on the failed relationship, but rather being hopeful and positive about the next relationship.

 

 

It may also be a good idea to learn some conflict resolution skills and communication skills so that you are more prepared for your next relationship.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Regardless of how or why you broke up, one of the greatest lessons you you can ever learn is that self worth and self-esteem come from within us and should never be at the hands of other people. Seeing your worth ONLY through the eyes of your partners guarantees nothing except pain.

 

It's not easy, particularly for women who tend to wrap themselves around their partners so tightly that they all but forget their own identities. We all want to be loved and desired and wanted but at some point we need to stop looking for it from others and realize that we have the power to create our own happiness and ultimately are responsible for how we feel about ourselves.

 

If you really want to find some self worth, VOLUNTEER. Seriously. Not only is it a great way to distract yourself from the inevitable mental torture that seems to plague us when we go through a difficult break-up but it puts you in a very selfless place when you do something that helps others.

 

Whether it's only a few hours a week or month, it doesn't matter. By being in service to others and seeing the good you're doing to better a cause you're care about builds tremendous self worth and raises your self-esteem automatically.

 

I've done it. I still do it. I loved it so much that I made a career out of helping others!

 

Try it. What do you have to lose?

[SadNLonley]

Regardless of how or why you broke up, one of the greatest lessons you you can ever learn is that self worth and self-esteem come from within us and should never be at the hands of other people. Seeing your worth ONLY through the eyes of your partners guarantees nothing except pain.

 

It's not easy, particularly for women who tend to wrap themselves around their partners so tightly that they all but forget their own identities. We all want to be loved and desired and wanted but at some point we need to stop looking for it from others and realize that we have the power to create our own happiness and ultimately are responsible for how we feel about ourselves.

 

Very well said. Unfortunately, for many of us as you said, wrap themselves around partners that we lose sight of who we are. Once that bond is broken, there goes any shred of self worth right out the window. It destroyed me. I felt I was the most worthless thing. Thought I will never be loved or even liked again by a man. Horrible feeling, and it didnt really matter what anyone said to me because, like you said, it has to come within. That sometimes takes awhile to figure out.

 

Thank goodness I can finally say that I think I am worth everything that I want and desire. I am good enough the way I am and should be accepted this way. Too bad for my ex that he didnt have it in him to see that.

 

I had to hit rock bottom in order to finally see my worth and hopefully will never let anyone take that from me again, so OP believe what is being said. You are worth everything. You just need to believe it. Dont let one person take that away from you.

[IDK123]

Say you got dumped because things between you and your partner weren't right. Say that person made you feel small and said things that made you feel like you're not worth the time of day and that you're a loser.

When that person once adored you but due to the fact that you argued a lot, they lost feelings and never saw you in the way they did again.

 

How do you go about recovering from such a nasty blow to your self esteem? How can you feel loveable again and that you aren't all those things they said you are?

 

If you feel that some of the things that were said to you are true, try to improve them...

For example, I know for myself that in the past I've been an inconsiderate person at times. It wasn't because I was a bad person, it was only because I didn't know any better. Many people have let me know in the past that I'm inconsiderate, at times, but it didn't click with me until I confronted the idea myself. It has only made me a better person for realizing this about myself and taking the steps to improve that part of myself.

 

Another thing that helps is trying to understand the root of the problem and why you exhibit the negative behaviour you're trying to get rid of.

Being inconsiderate and insensitive often comes from a place of emotional selfishness, which is usually a result of emotional trauma of some sort.