The effect of good looking people

[Eternal Sunshine]

I find it weird how much effect looks can have on me. I work with this professor that is in his mid 40s but looks much younger and he has movie star type of looks. I am not interested in him as he is married and even if he wasn't, I wouldn't go for someone that hot (so I take back what I said about older men ).

 

Anyway, I feel super intimidated and weird around him and I know it's because of the way he looks. I also want to work extra hard to impress him. I wonder how many others feel that way. It's like looks are an advantage even in non-romantic settings and they are pure genetic lottery

[EasyHeart]

Meh. We all do stuff like that.

 

When I'm out running, I always run faster when I see a pretty girl. Gotta impress her, you know.

[ThaWholigan]

Look up "The Halo Effect"

[carhill]

OP, I'll bet the guy is a genuinely good guy too, and that's part of why he is so appealing.

 

I recall a couple years ago mentioning to my best friend about a relatively obscure employee who had impressed me with her job and people skills and, probably a year later after he had promoted her, I took a hard look and went 'whoa', understanding more clearly why all male conversation stopped when she walked by. I had to really focus on that (the good looks) part because my first impressions were more who she is than her appearance. To this day, she remains a good person, never once complained about her divorce or being a single parent of three and always inquires about how my cat is doing. I bring her cat treats. If I had been a dad, she'd be the kind of daughter I'd be proud to take some small credit for.

 

Perhaps flying in the face of conventional wisdom, good looking people don't make me nervous; that's likely because I wasn't socialized to focus on looks and simply don't. They're not a 'power' button for me. We're all different in that regard. Other than a couple of blips in my 20's when I was young and naive, I haven't personally experienced the good-looking people effect as described. Do they get advantages in life? Perhaps, in some ways. IMO, life is a trade-off. We each have advantages and disadvantages. How we handle the mix defines our chosen path. There are many paths available.

[GoodOnPaper]

It can affect me but in the opposite way. On the rare occasions that I run into a stunningly gorgeous woman, I get uncomfortable and I'd just as soon avoid her. The last thing we both need is for another schmuck to be mentally discombobulated by her looks.

[Haydn]

I get this on the tube. I am with my girl and i get a lot of looks. And its not the bar of chocolate in the back pocket of my `Mustangs`

[Leigh 87]

I don't let the looks hierarchy get in my way. It's purely negative assume beautiful people are happier than us average Joes.

 

Same goes for how I act towards beautiful people. In fact, my two closest female friends are very attractive. One is a model the other one has been asked poff the street to star in bands music videos.

 

One of them cannot find a guy who is crazy about her as often as I do. And I'm merely a plain Jane with nice teeth.

 

My good friend is very good looking. I am average yet I have a bf who is as devoted and crazy about me as her bf is. Yes she finds men who are infatuated with her but I find just as many as she does. She found 2 men since age 17 who were infatuated with her. I've found men who were crazy about me too. As may as her.

 

It isn't only only the beautiful people who get adoring partners and superior treatment at large. Can tell you assume that if you were a stunning model, you would get the men you want to fall crazy in love with you, the way my "beautiful friend "does (her bf is head over heels for her in every sense of the word)

 

You would still have the same personality of your looks were the only changed variable. People wouldn't fall in love with you Iif you were a supermodel if they otherwise wouldn't now as you are.

[Leigh 87]

And because I didn't treat the hotties any differently they, in turn, didn't treat me like I was more lowly than then.

 

I refuse to be treated sub par by men simply because my face is not pretty.

 

In fact, a few hotties paid me a lot of complements and said that I had nice features. They didn't act an differently towards me than they did my pretty friend.

[nofeelings22]

It can affect me but in the opposite way. On the rare occasions that I run into a stunningly gorgeous woman, I get uncomfortable and I'd just as soon avoid her. The last thing we both need is for another schmuck to be mentally discombobulated by her looks.

 

 

This is much more common than you would think.

 

I have some kind of mental deficiency where I always have to have the hottest girl in the room/school/office/bar/club/ what have you. Turns out, I nearly always do. Cheerleader in high school, hottest girl in the company at every job, etc... etc... I'm a really competitive jackass who likes to out do the other guys. Fully admitting it.

 

Over the years of being in relationships and married to quite literally, some of the hottest women on the planet, I have had a unique look inside their experiences and psyche.

 

What you are saying here is very, very common, Some of the last girls picked to dance are the hottest ones. The last to get asked out... the hottest ones. They are loathed by other females, abused by them, even beat up at times (when younger). They have a very hard time doing basic things in life we normies take for granted. They have stalkers for days, they have no privacy, they are isolated and lonely a lot of times. Many were sexually abused .

 

Life is definitely not all roses for them. For every door amazing looks open, 2 slam shut.

 

They cry a lot more than you would think because they can't get a job with their minds, They are hired on looks and ogled by the men while the other women scheme against them., Really broke my heart to see how hard they all have it. Down to every girl ive been in an relationship with, they all had serious difficulty because of looks.

 

And this post is an example. Not the poster's fault, but so many don't treat these people as hunan beings.

Edited June 11, 2014 by nofeelings22

[nofeelings22]

Funny though...when I ask out the hot women on a date, I get ignored or laughed at.

 

Most attractive women know damn well how good they look....and they know exactly what kind of guy they can get, what kind of guy they think they deserve, and what type of guy they deem not worthy to lick the dirt of the bottom of their heels.

 

 

How many are we talking about here?

 

Ypiu aren't going to be a fit for every woman. Just like not every female is a fit for you. You're going to be rejected often if you are just asking strangers out. It's like cold calling to make sales. Lots and lots of rejection.

 

Notice where I said "hottest in school, office, etc" I never asked any girls out formally. I got to know them in social situations, hooked up and moved on to relationships from there. That's the usual way it happened. If you are just asking randoms out (other than OLD), it's a hard road indeed. Girls, especially very good looking ones, have a huge wal

up to keep pervs and creeps from bothering them. You need to go in under cover to get to the human being behind the wall.

 

We are the sex that pursues, they are the sex that sorts and filters us to pick the ideal mate. Just evolution at play there. You just have to get in behind the wall some way or another. Socially.

[nofeelings22]

And Turk... for relationships, they want the same guy every woman wants:

 

A decent person that treats them well,

Not too hard on the eyes

Someone responsible

That makes them feel safe

... and is fun/enjoyable to be around

 

No matter what the attractiveness level, they want the same thing.

[RedRobin]

It must be some fluke in my character that I am never nervous around people with stellar looks, money, power, or intelligence. Not sure why. It is not always a good thing.

 

People in those positions sometimes expect a certain amount of deference that I don't offer. The humble ones like that because I treat them just normal and like regular folks. The arrogant or insecure ones don't like it... That I am not flustered by them.

[xxoo]

I've felt this nervousness and intimidation around really hot guys, but it never lasts. After a couple weeks, the sheen wears off and I feel more on equal terms.

[janedoe67]

And Turk... for relationships, they want the same guy every woman wants:

 

A decent person that treats them well,

Not too hard on the eyes

Someone responsible

That makes them feel safe

... and is fun/enjoyable to be around

 

No matter what the attractiveness level, they want the same thing.

 

Very astute...and I would add...a man who actually has a positive attitudectiward women. If I got turned off of a man who thought I was attractivr, it was often because I coukd tell he expected me to be a snobby bitch who shot him down. Why would I want someone who had already labeled me that way?

[gaius]

I had a very attractive female friend when I was younger and it was pathetic seeing all the guys that would turn into wimpering boodle boys when she was around. Even after she douched them in one way or another. I was never like that, didn't care if she liked me or not. Didn't care if I didn't see her for a while. Which is probably why it eventually turned sexual. =/

[nofeelings22]

All that....and you forgot to mention being 6ft or taller is a huge plus.

 

There are a ton of guys between 5'8 and 5'10....and they get passed up based purely on their height. Lately it seems height is the number one trait women look for....consciously and more so subconsciously.

 

Studies prove that taller people get more jobs, get better pay, get more respect, and get more dates than majority of people just as attractive yet shorter.

 

Its a proven fact....doesnt matter how much any of you try to argue around it.

 

Height trumps looks for majority of women.

 

 

 

I'm 5'10"!!!

 

Height is not it.

 

I've heard your stats on salary and stuff and agree.. Just go go for women who are shorter than you. Average female height is 5'6" (watch those heels though... jeez they make girls a little too tall sometimes).

 

What height are you and what height women are you asking out? Are you attracted to really tall ones?

[janedoe67]

You are turned off because you make assumptions about his assumptions about you???

 

Thats some great logic

 

I communicated very badly there. I could tell because of the way he smirked, rolled his eyes when I seemed hesitant, or muttered "yeah, figures," etc. It was VERY obvious he expected me to think I was too good for him. And the funny thing was, I have never thought I was "too good for" a guy. But I DON'T have any admiration for a man who won't look in the mirror, assumes women are out to get him, and decides a woman is a bitch just because she happened to tell HIM no.

 

There have been attractive (to me) men who has had zero interest in me (plenty of them), a couple I sort of let it be known I was interested who kind of snickered at the idea. I do not assume all handsome men are this way, that every handsome man "knows damn well how handsome he is and who he can get," or that he is some vapid snob just because I might not be his type.

 

I think I was happier when I was under the impression that most people looked for the good in each other and being bitter and jaded was the exception....

[M30USA]

Psychological studies have proven that attractive people are perceived as:

 

1) more trustworthy

2) having better character

3) more succesful

[nofeelings22]

Its all about height. I know I have to explain this over and over 100 times every time a new person tries to dissect my situation...but here goes again.

 

I never go for women taller than me. Thats not the issue. I'm 5'8.....The issue is that women shorter than me refuse to date me because I'm not "tall enough" in their opinion. They have said it themselves! I am not speculating, or just pulling sh*t out of the air to b*tch about. I've heard women comment about others guys...numerous times as well....saying "He's cute but I wish he was taller".

 

Most of the profiles of women when I have been on dating sites have specifically said right in their profile...."DO NOT CONTACT ME IF YOU ARE UNDER 6FT".....and guess what...most of those women were under 5'5.

 

I dont know what reality the rest of you live in.....but here in NE Ohio the women are a bunch of stuck up f'n c*nts that think they are the hottest thing on the whole planet.

 

It's funny. When reading your posts, I was thinking to myself, boy do those Ohio girls suck.

 

But you could be the same height as me with some boots on.

 

I'm friggin bald. You think height is a rough one? It's all about not letting a single defect under mine your self confidence. I currently have a very attractive girl about 15 years younger than me saying she loves me. I'm 5'10" and bald.

[janedoe67]

naive people are always happier.....welcome to reality

 

Reality is what you decide to look at and focus on. I'd rather NOT view the world as a rotten place where I am a victim and everything is always someone else's problem.

 

Even Brad Pitt would be ugly with THAT mindset.

 

Shallow Hal was a dumb movie, but the idea that everyone looked like their insides when he was seeing people as they really were was interesting.

[Speakingofwhich]

Ime, anyone can be very attractive. Yes, physically. Sometimes I'll look at a homely person and mentally change their hair, makeup, clothing, especially attitude, weight, whatever to make them attractive. I'm not talking about a glamour makeover, either.

 

If a person knows how to present themselves it is extremely attractive! A smile that lacks self interest and focuses on the other person goes a long ways towards making a person attractive.

[Anela]

 

I dont know what reality the rest of you live in.....but here in NE Ohio the women are a bunch of stuck up f'n c*nts that think they are the hottest thing on the whole planet.

Not all of us. Thanks for the generalization.

[nofeelings22]

I'm bald too....and I've been told by most women that they dont like it. When I wear a hat in a bar sometimes I have over heard women commenting "Its a cue-ball convention in here tonight"....voicing their dislike for all the guys that shave their head nowadays.

 

Just because YOU have a woman doesnt mean its works for everyone else. Do you think I'm that f'n stupid that your one situation is going to change my whole world??

 

My confidence is not the issue here. I cant stand when people use that stupid word over and over. Confidence has nothing to do with changing the mind of a woman that doesnt like bald guys that are 5'8!! I can be super confident and if women want a tall guy than nothing will change that.

 

Stop focusing on me and trying to dodge the fact that looks take a back seat to height. Anyone with common sense knows this. You can find some exceptions here and there.....but dont try to act like its the majority.

 

This post pretty much demonstrates why you are coming up empty handed, my friend.

 

That's a lot of anger.

 

Yeah, the cue ball look does suck and a lot of women don't like it but if you are strong in every other area, it's not a deal breaker.

[MidwestUSA]

Its not a generalization....women here have proved it to me for the past 5 years.

 

When I travel to other states I get treated totally different.

 

Hell....even when I went south to Columbus it was different!

 

But here in the NE corner of the state....stuck up city!

 

Why don't you move if the answer seems that simple?

[MidwestUSA]

I'm not going to move just to get a date. Its not that important to me.

 

Okay, just thought I'd ask. That's a lot of anger for something that's not important to you though.